Fade to Grey
by Moonchild707
Summary: Bella Swan is sixteen years old with only a few months left to live. When she moves back to Forks to be with her father, she meets a certain bronze-haired recluse who teaches her to live again, no matter how little time she has left. AH, OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 1**

**Hello readers… welcome to the new and improved version of Fade to Grey! If you've been here before, rest assured that every plot detail is the same… as is the ending. I'm simply going through and editing out any grammar errors I can find (dialogue, anyone?)**

BPOV

Familiar greenery surrounded me as my nose was filled with a musky, woodsy smell.

I was going home.

I was sitting, still as a statue and as preoccupied as one could be with my head leaning against the window, the slightest hint of a smile playing around my lips. The trees whooshed by at a pleasant rate, each one seeming more welcoming than the next. Most people would find the tiny little town called Forks in the northernmost corner of Washington state one of the gloomiest, irrelevant little places on the planet, but for me, it was nothing short of perfection.

Forks was where I grew up- it was where I'd taken my first steps, spoken my first words, attended my first day of school, made my first friend, and it was where my family lived. I'd been without them for nearly eight months now- having been living in Jacksonville with my mom and her relatively new husband, Phil. He was a minor league ball player, and when I'd come to stay with them, it had allowed me to finally get acquainted with my stepfather. He was a nice enough guy- albeit a little awkward- but good for mom.

She was so featherbrained, she needed someone calm and steady, but willing to support her in her craziest moments.

Phil met all the criteria.

Now, sitting in the passenger seat of dad's police cruiser was the most lavish of gifts. I watched as the little pieces of town began to flash past- pieces of my past, and my near future. I would spend the rest of my life in this tiny little town, and I was glad to be back.

The move to Jacksonville had been a sudden thing- nothing could have prepared us for what that doctor had said in Seattle. I'd known about the leukemia for years- ever since I'd been diagnosed at the age of four- but even then, it was a hard concept to grasp. I'd been stricken with cancer twice- once at the age of four and another when I was nine. After nearly seven years of remission, things had been looking promising until I'd gone in for a routine check up, discovering that the cancer cells were growing once more and that if I wanted results, I'd need to start chemotherapy as soon as possible.

That had been nine months ago. I'd stayed in the cancer clinic in Seattle until the trek from Forks to the clinic had become too hard for dad, and my cancer still wasn't gone. Dad had been close to his breaking point, but when mom announced that she'd bought a house in Florida, the two of them had pounced on the chance for me to go down there instead. I'd been transferred to the Mayo Clinic Cancer Centre in Jacksonville, where they'd tried all sorts of therapies, from regular chemo to radiation. Emmett and Alice had come down during their summer break when I'd discovered I'd need a bone marrow transplant and after finding a partial match in Alice, they'd harvested her marrow and implanted it in me, with very little success. It had come as a shock to us all when they'd announced that my body was rejecting my sister's marrow, but with only a four out of six match, it wasn't _completely _unexpected. After a round of immunosuppressants and a procedure to replace Alice's donation with my old, cancerous marrow, the doctors had reluctantly given their verdict.

They'd done all they could.

It had been a hard blow, knowing that the cancer would win, but I'd learned to accept my fate. I was moving back to Forks, much to mom's distress, and I would spend my days here, in the little green town I loved.

"We're here, Bell," said dad suddenly, turning towards me with warm, gentle eyes. Dad wasn't an affectionate man by nature, but with Alice, Emmett and I, he was able to express his love easily. I often caught him watching me with an inexplicable tenderness in his eyes- one I could only assume came from me being the youngest of his three, and the sick one.

"Yeah," I mumbled tiredly as I got out of the car, making sure my head wrap was still on before I grabbed my small carryon bag and moved to the door.

I would _never_be seen without my wrap. Thanks to the treatments, my head was bald as bald could be, and quite frankly, it was ugly. Mom had tried to convince me otherwise, but no amount of lying and persuading on her part would change my mind.

I'd seen it often enough, but every time was like the first- an ugly, horrendous shock that would never go away as long as it remained bare.

Dad moved in front of me with my two large suitcases, pulling them through the small front door as I followed.

"Welcome back," he said, a smile on his worn face as he looked me over.

"Thanks dad," I said quietly, making him smile as he lugged my stuff up the stairs, the hard suitcases thudding loudly on each step.

"I can take one," I offered feebly, making dad turn with a sigh, shaking his head.

"You just go to the living room and relax," he puffed, making me sigh. Despite my misgivings, I did as I was told, knowing that Charlie knew best. I tended to overexert myself, and he knew it very well.

I waited on the couch for a short, quiet moment before I heard a pair of light, gentle footsteps.

"Bella!"

I beamed as someone engulfed me in a hug, squeezing much tighter than her tiny frame should have allowed.

"Hi Alice," I said fondly, earning me a happy laugh from my sister.

She was only two years older, but she seemed so much smaller.

"How are you?" she asked worriedly, her eyes raking me over critically. If I hadn't known better, I'd have squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze, but I knew Ali and she wasn't judgmental.

"You look good," she decided, making me roll my eyes.

"Thanks," I said dryly, knowing she was lying. I felt bad for Alice, knowing how much of a fashionista she was… I was the worst sister she could have gotten, knowing that I wasn't one she could primp and dress up. I was _fragile, _and according to dad, she was to leave me be.

"It's true!" she exclaimed indignantly, placing her hands with her glossy fingernails on her narrow hips, a small frown etched on her brow. If there was one thing Alice hated, it was anyone picking on me- even myself.

"I know," I said consolingly, making her crack a small grin.

"Liar," she accused playfully.

"Yep." She laughed her happy, tinkling laugh once more before she sat down next to me, her eyes aglow.

"I have so much to tell you," she gushed. I grinned and listened closely.

"Emmett has a new conquest," she whispered, looking as excited as she could be. I grinned, knowing that Emmett was always the one chasing girls, but Alice ignored my expression, continuing.

"Her name is Rosalie, and she's totally playing with him," she said slyly. "I've been seeing her brother recently…"

"Are they twins?" I asked slyly, making Alice's cheeks colour slightly.

"Yes," she admitted. "They're doctor and Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew."

"Cullen?"

I didn't recognize the name, and I knew _everyone_ in Forks.

"Oh right," said Alice, shaking her head quickly as she noticed my confusion. "They moved into the old house behind us just after you left."

"The haunted house?" I asked, a chill running down my spine as I remembered the old, abandoned house that was situated behind ours. Emmett had been so eager to give it that name, and ever since he'd shared his imaginative ghost stories with me at a tender age, I'd been unable to even look at it after dark.

"That's the one!" said Alice happily. "Although it's far from haunted. Mrs. Cullen is an excellent designer and she redid the whole interior. It's so pretty…" she gushed.

"Cool," I offered, sitting back with a sigh. Alice smiled and watched me with her eager, dark brown eyes.

Alice and Emmett might have been the twins, but we'd all inherited the pale skin, dark hair and chocolaty eyes from our father's side of the family. Emmett and I had the curls, while Alice had been graced with mom's pin-straight hair, which she styled in a fashionable, short 'do, with the feathery ends sticking out at all angles, framing her small face.

"So, what about you?" she asked interestedly, looking at me with her bright, eager eyes. I sighed, glancing at her with a shrug as she sat down next to me, making the couch bounce as she let herself fall gracefully.

"Any cute boys in Florida?" she asked happily, brimming with excitement.

"Alice!" I admonished. She grinned mischievously, leaning in.

"Who was he?" she asked in a singsong voice. I groaned.

"There were no cute boys in Jacksonville," I said firmly, earning me a pout.

"Don't even try it!" she exclaimed. "I've seen your Facebook pictures…"

"I didn't go anywhere but mom's and the clinic," I explained, making her nod as she suddenly became grave. She pursed her lips and sat back against the couch with a small, almost inaudible sigh.

She was silent for a long moment, and I cleared my throat, wondering if I'd upset her.

For all of Alice's enthusiasm, she was a sensitive person- very much emotional and easily hurt.

"Honey, I'm home!" came a booming voice from the doorway, making Alice perk up instantly, all traces of unhappiness gone.

"In here, Em!" she called back as I smiled. Emmett and I had always had a strange relationship, but I still loved him and his goofy ways.

He was more timid with me than Alice was because of my illness. He didn't want to hurt me, and I think I made him awkward.

"Hey Alice. Rose says-" he started, right before he spotted me, cracking a grin.

He'd grown.

"Hey Bell," he said fondly, loping over loudly to give me a hug. For all his awkwardness, he was undoubtedly affectionate. His large arms squeezed happily and I chuckled as I hugged him back, just before he let me go.

"I didn't think you'd be here yet," he admitted sheepishly. "Dad's always late."

"Not this time," said Alice indignantly. "He couldn't very well leave her waiting in the airport, could he?"

"I guess not," said Emmett simply, knowing that arguing with Alice was as useless as arguing with a post.

You couldn't win.

Emmett shot me a critical glance and I felt a little awkward, but he grinned afterwards and sat down in front of me, looking eager.

"Was Florida cool?" he asked, making me smile.

"I guess so," I admitted. "It was hot."

"And sunny?" he guessed, making me nod.

"I like Forks better," I decided, making him stare incredulously.

"You're crazy," he said decisively, standing up quickly. I grinned as he abruptly left the room, no doubt in search of some sort of sustenance.

Emmett was always eating.

"He's just getting in from Rosalie's," explained Alice. "I told him to come home earlier, but _he_ said that-"

"It's fine, Alice," I said with a sigh before she started to get angry.

"Bell?" called dad from the doorway, making me turn. Shooting a fleeting glance at his large son in the kitchen, he came inside, looking hesitant and nervous.

"Need anything?" he asked, making Alice smile as she looked at me. I cleared my throat awkwardly and sighed, shaking my head.

"No thanks, dad," I said softly, making him nod as he continued to stare.

"Renee told me that I'm supposed to send you to bed?" he asked, confused. Dad may have raised me since mom left us, but those months in Jacksonville had caused her to set herself on a higher pedestal than she really deserved- one that was nearly equal with dad's.

"She's overreacting," I said firmly. Emmett laughed from the kitchen before he poked his head in, a spoon in his hand.

"Moms tend to do that," he offered playfully, earning a smirk from me. Dad simply sighed.

"You _will_go to bed if you're tired though, right?" he asked worriedly.

_Poor dad._

"Yes, dad," I said in a playful voice. He smirked and shook his head before he left the room, making Alice giggle.

"You should have seen him these past few days," she said in a whisper. "He's been absolutely ridiculous."

"He shouldn't have worried," I said firmly. Alice frowned sadly, looking at me, her wide eyes reproachful.

"He has a right to," she said softly, taking my small, white hand in her own. I felt a little guilty, but before we could start crying or something else just as embarrassing, Emmett peeked in, frowning.

"Now, now ladies," he teased. "None of that sappy shit, ok?"

"Jesus Christ Emmett!" snapped Alice angrily, all hints of sadness and worry gone, irritation and anger taking its place. She dropped my hand and drew herself up, making our large brother backtrack, looking alarmed.

"I swear to god…" she threatened.

"I hate sappy shit!" he complained, making Alice huff angrily.

"Put up with it," she snapped.

"We have time for sappy shit later," he argued. "When there's actually a _reason_to cry." I sat, silent on the couch while Emmett glared down at his twin, annoyed.

"There _is_ damn well a reason to!" shouted Alice, making me frown as I gently got up off my place on the couch and moved towards the stairs, not listening to their argument. Arguments were frequent between Alice and Emmett, but this one was about me and my illness- one I didn't want to hear.

"She's not dead yet, Alice," snapped Emmett crassly, making her gasp. I heard a loud smack and a yelp before I stifled a small smile, knowing that Alice was a force to be reckoned with when she was angry. I made my way into my old, familiar bedroom, but I could still hear them sparring.

"You insensitive bastard!" shouted Alice. Emmett fell silent before he cleared his throat.

"Sorry Bell!" he shouted loudly, making Alice scoff as she stalked away.

"Asshole," I heard her mutter as she traipsed up the steps, knocking gently on my door.

"Come in."

The door swung open and Alice popped her head in, looking angry and forlorn.

"He's such a douche," she complained. I giggled and she closed my door.

"If I want to cry, I'll damn well do it," she said decisively, making me frown.

"Please don't," I begged, earning me a small sigh.

"I won't," she acquiesced, "but I want to, just to spite him." I laughed.

"You love him," I teased, making her snort.

"Hardly," she returned dryly. "Only because I _have_to."

"Alice," I said darkly, making her frown.

"Well, I'll be in my room if you need me. I have a lot of stuff to get done for English and calculus before tomorrow."

"Okay," I said gently, grinning as she kissed my cheek, leaving the room.

It was eerily quiet now, and determined to make noise, I left my bedroom and glided down the stairs as gracefully as my body would allow.

Even before my illness had come around, I'd been absolutely hopeless in the grace department. Alice had taken ballet lessons and when Charlie had tried to enroll me when I was seven, it had been a failure of epic proportions.

"Hey," said Emmett from his place at the kitchen counter as I peeked in.

"Hi," I returned, making him smile.

I couldn't describe the bond Emmett and I had. It was undoubtedly there, but somehow unable to be described with words. With Alice, things were bold and well-established. She had been a mother figure to me, as well as the classic big sister. She was always kind and always talkative, and I adored her.

Emmett was different.

He was always extremely gentle with me, even as a baby- or so I'd been told. I guess dad had always enforced the need to be careful with a baby, and that had stuck with him throughout his eighteen years. I saw him hug Alice- he liked to squeeze the life out of her- but I always got gentle hugs. I knew he was scared to break me.

Right now, Emmett looked repentant and a little sad.

"Sorry," he said softly, looking at me with his saddest eyes.

"No, you're right," I said. "There'll be plenty of time for crying later, but right now, let's just be normal, okay?" He grinned

"I can do normal." He agreed with a small pat on my head. I grimaced and ducked away. Even if I had no hair to ruffle, I didn't want him near that hated head wrap.

"So seriously," he started, returning to more serious matters. "How did the other things go in Florida?"

He never actually said _chemo_ or _cancer_.

"Well enough, I guess," I admitted. He nodded and licked his spoon again, waiting for elaboration. "The chemo went well until the transplant." He grimaced.

"Why did you reject it?" he asked curiously, but with an undertone of sadness and anger in his voice.

"You were a three out of six match and Alice was a four out of six," I explained. "They chose hers, but even then, there was a chance it wouldn't take. Six out of six is the best."

"What about dad?" he asked.

"Three," I said quickly. "So was mom. The donor registry didn't have a better match than Ali's and there wasn't much time for waiting."

"So that's it, then?" he asked hesitantly, turning back to his plate of peanut butter.

He was a strange boy.

"Yep," I said reluctantly, making him nod quietly.

"There's nothing else?" he asked again, looking slightly grim and definitely unhappy.

"No," I said softly. "They tried."

"I know," he said quickly, nodding. "It's not their fault."

"It's no one's fault," I interjected. "It's a disease."

"I know that," he said quietly. "I know."

"Okay," I said, leaning back against the counter as he ate.

"Want some?" he offered, nudging the jar at me. I laughed softly.

"No thanks," I said dryly. Emmett, in his special, simple way, just shrugged and continued his eating.

My death may have been imminent, but after the first week of wallowing in the hospital, I'd somewhat come to terms with the news. I would enjoy whatever time I had left, and hopefully, the six month verdict would hold true. It was my family's time to cope with it now, and I knew that out of everyone it was Emmett who would have the hardest time accepting it. Alice would have a hard time _dealing_with it, dad would have a hard time letting me live my life, but Emmett wouldn't be able to _accept_it in the first place. He always sought reasonable answers, and for this, there was none.

I yawned loudly and Emmett frowned, looking me over.

"Go to bed before dad has a cow," he ordered. "I'll order pizza for dinner and wake you when it gets here."

"Thanks," I said softly, earning me a small grin before he pointed to the stairs with his spoon, directing me in the right direction.

"Love you," I said with a small wave, marching my way up the long staircase.

"Love you too, Bell," He returned affectionately as I made my way to my room, pulling down the blankets and closing the curtains.

I slid under the sheets, breathing in the familiar scent of dad's laundry detergent and the special smell of home before I closed my eyes and fell into a light slumber.

**A/N: When this story was written, I was sixteen years old and by no means a cancer specialist. As before, I hope the facts were good enough to pass.**

**Leave some love!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 2**

BPOV

"I don't think it's such a good idea," said Charlie dubiously, looking at me from across the small kitchen table. He sat with his elbows resting before him, looking as intimidating as a small town cop could be.

"Please, dad?" I begged, making him frown suspiciously.

"Why would you want to go to school?" he asked bluntly. "Most kids would _jump_ on the chance to stay home…"

"I'm not most kids," I argued, looking at him with blazing eyes. Unmoved by my anger, he simply sighed, looking very worn out.

It had been a long two days of this argument, and so far, he'd been avoiding the answer.

"I know that, Bella," he said softly, his whole face softening as he took in my angry, stubborn stance.

"I want to go," I said firmly.

"Why?" he asked without understanding.

"Because, dad!" I cried exasperatedly.

"Because why?" he asked again.

"Because it's what normal people do, and I want to be _normal," _I emphasized, making him frown.

"You _are_ normal, Isabella," he replied tartly, a hint of genuine anger creeping into his voice. I scoffed loudly and he stared, looking desperately worn out.

"I am not and you know it."

"Bella…"

"Please, dad?" I asked again.

"Why not get a tutor?" he bargained.

"No."

"Bella, be reasonable, here…"

"I _am _being reasonable. I want to go to school and meet people and have an actual _friend,"_ I said emphatically.

"Alice is your friend."

"She's also my sister, and she lives with me," I explained angrily. He remained stony and hard.

"You can make friends here too. Alice can help…" he said feebly.

"Alice can't help me do everything, dad!" I shouted, making him jump in shock as my voice raised.

"Don't yell," he admonished.

"Then let me go," I bartered, sitting back in my seat.

"It's unsafe."

"What!" I yelped incredulously. "Alice and Emmett go there _every day. _Emmett tries to get out of it at least twice a week and you _force _him to go!"

"It's not the same thing," he explained exasperatedly. "Those kids are full of germs and bacteria-"

"Oh, give it up," I said angrily. He stared at me for a long moment before he sighed.

"I don't want you getting sick," he said.

"I want to go to school," I countered. "I want to go to class and bitch about homework…"

"Watch your mouth," he scolded, disapproving of the word 'bitch'.

"I'll get you a tutor and you can do as much as you can handle," he said firmly.

"No," I said again, not willing to give up.

"Tutor or nothing, Bell."

"Dad!"

"Don't 'dad' me," he said firmly. "I won't risk your health just so you can go to some second rate institution."

"I want to go to some crappy second rate institution like normal, middle class kid!" I shouted.

He frowned.

"You're normal," He said again, looking at me with fiery eyes.

"Normal kids don't _die_, dad, and I want to go to school," his face fell as I brought up the forbidden topic, but he seemed to relent a bit.

"Don't try and guilt trip me into this," he said firmly, his resolve cracking. "You're not going."

I fumed.

"You can't keep me out," I said, grasping wildly at any straws I had left.

"Oh yes I can," he chuckled.

"It's illegal. I Googled it."

"Bella," he said exasperatedly.

"Is it really so bad for me to get out of the house a bit? Anywhere I go will have germs…"

"I know that," he said quietly, "but we don't have to take unnecessary risks. If not going to school gives you an extra month…"

"Then what, dad?" I asked angrily. "Then I get to mope around for another four weeks? I want to go to school with everyone else!"

"Can we at least sleep on it?" he asked sadly, looking relenting.

"No."

"Bella, you're being irrational," he accused angrily.

"No, _you're _being irrational," I countered. "All I want is to go to school. If I can't handle it, then you can pull me out, but I _will _handle it."

"It's dangerous," he said sadly, looking very torn.

"So is sitting here at this table. There could be a million germs just waiting to kill me, dad, it doesn't mean I can live in a bubble!"

"I used a Lysol wipe," he defended quietly.

"That's not the point."

"You can go for half days," he said suddenly, looking up at me. "You can go in the mornings as a part time student, then you can come home and take it easy for the rest of the day."

I sat for a moment thinking it over.

"Fine," I said, making him sigh.

"I still don't like it," he said suddenly, looking back at me with passionate eyes.

"You don't have to," I said simply. "You won't like anything I decide to do over the next few months."

"Probably not," he agreed with a small smile. Without warning, he stood from his place and gave me a small kiss on the cheek, leaving the room entirely.

I smiled, a sense of triumph coming over me.

"You're crazy, Bell!" cried Emmett loudly from his place upstairs. I smiled knowingly as his loud footsteps bumbled down the steps, arriving in the kitchen within moments. Alice flitted down behind him, a small smile on her angelic face as she made her way to the fridge, taking a glass of milk. Emmett glanced at me dubiously.

"If I had six months to live and I could do anything I wanted, I would most definitely _not _go to school."

"Emmett!" hissed Alice darkly, glaring at her twin with incredulous, angry eyes. "It's her decision to make, not yours, so shut up."

"Oh bite me," he retorted childishly. She scowled before she turned to me, looking much gentler.

"I'm proud of you," she said, ignoring Emmett. "I think it's cool that you actually want to _do _something with the rest of your time." She turned pointedly to Emmett. "You would be the laziest person on Earth if dad didn't drag your sorry ass out of bed every morning."

"I know that," said Emmett indifferently, looking into the cereal box he'd been digging through for the promised prize.

"Rosalie doesn't like laziness," said Alice suddenly, turning to face Emmett. To my amusement, his face turned red.

"Shut up, Alice," he scowled, making me laugh. He turned to me with the same expression and I looked back steadily. His eyes softened as he retrieved his prize, tossing it on the counter.

"You should meet her, Bell," he said suddenly. "She's kind and sweet… and a total babe."

"I'm sure she is," I giggled, making him nod.

"Oh she is," he said happily, nodding. Alice snorted into her glass.

"You barely know her," she countered.

"I know her ass quite well, thank you," replied Emmett smugly.

"You're such a pig," said Alice with a giggle.

"Oink, oink." I laughed and poured myself a glass of water from the filtered jug in the fridge.

"Rose is a nice girl," decided Alice, looking thoughtful. "A little cold at first, but once she gets to know you…"

"She's not _cold,"_ said Emmett with a frown.

"She is _at first_," said Alice. Emmett scowled angrily at the idea of Alice insulting his crush.

"She's one of my best friends, dumbass!" she cried incredulously. "I'm not _insulting _her!"

"You'd better not be," warned Emmett, unappeased.

"And she lives out back?" I asked, making both of them nod.

"She, Jasper, the doctor and Mrs. Cullen," she said. "And Edward."

"Who's he?" I asked, having never heard her mention him before.

"Captain Dick," said Alice firmly, looking through the back window with contempt. "He's only nice to me because he says I'm small and if he wasn't, Jasper would kick his ass."

"Sounds like a charmer," I said dryly.

"He's a womanizing prick, that's what he is," said Alice. "I'm shocked he doesn't have syphilis or something by now."

"Alice, he's an okay guy," said Emmett fairly, making me frown. "Just because he called you short…"

"He's mean, Emmett," she returned. "He's sixteen years old and he thinks he's God's gift to the world." Emmett just shrugged and went back to his childish cereal prize. I sighed and glanced back at the big haunted house, trying to picture someone actually living in it.

"I'm going to see Jazz," said Emmett suddenly, abandoning both prize and cereal box on the counter. Alice grinned as he left, simply shaking her head.

We both knew that he wasn't going to see_ Jasper_ over at the Cullen house.

"You need to come over with me sometime soon," said Alice gently. "Jasper wants to meet you, and once Esme found out that you were home, it's all she's talked about."

"Esme?" I asked, confused.

"Mrs. Cullen," she amended. I blushed at the idea of Alice's boyfriend's aunt wanting to meet me.

"She and the doctor are so nice… it's a wonder they managed to produce something as horrid as Edward."

"Alice, be nice," I said quietly, making her smile.

"You won't want me to be so nice when you meet him at school. If you're lucky, you won't have classes with him."

"Let's hope," I said quietly.

"Anyways, Doctor Cullen is an oncologist from Chicago," she said, making my interest spike. "He'll probably be your doctor, since he took all of Dr. Snow's old patients when he retired last month. He's as kind as can be, and he's a total DILF…"

"Alice!" I cried, trying not to choke on my water. She grinned.

"Oh don't worry, Bell... I have Jasper," She said simply. "But Carlisle _is_ one of a kind…"

"Sure," I said, embarrassed for the poor doctor my sister had just complimented so crudely.

"Esme is sweet," she said. "She's loving and gentle, sort of like Carlisle. She decorates houses, and man, can she cook…"

"She sounds great," I remarked, making Alice smile.

"Very different from _our_ mother, that's for sure." She said crudely. It was no secret that Alice and Renee didn't get along. Emmett was awkward with her at best, but she and Alice fought like cats and dogs. Alice had always hated Renee for leaving us and when she was so ignorant towards me after I'd relapsed the second time, it just set things in stone. Alice had been the stronger one, even at the tender age of six, when I'd first been diagnosed. She'd been the one to understand how serious the situation was, and though Emmett had tried to grasp the concept of cancer, it had been too much for his little developing brain to understand.

I still wasn't sure if my bear of a brother realized what this cancer meant.

Alice had always been maternal in nature, even before mom had left. We had home movies of Alice and baby Bella together, and Alice had been so finicky and worrying when it came to me. It was cute to watch, but her attitude hadn't changed much. I remember one time, when I was four and bald from chemotherapy, Alice had cried and cried, wondering if my hair would ever grow back or if I'd stay bald forever. Alice had always been there for me, especially when mom wasn't.

"Sounds like it," I agreed, making Alice grin, but only for a brief moment.

"Was she good to you, at least?" she asked, looking quite saddened as she examined me once more.

"Mom was fine," I said honestly. "I expected her to be sort of ignorant, but she wasn't really."

"Good," said Alice firmly, looking grimly satisfied. "If she was, I just might have killed her."

"Alice," I admonished, making her sigh as she changed the subject once again.

"Come take a look at some textbooks," she said eagerly. "When I heard you were coming back, I knew dad would give in to school, so I grabbed the junior texts from my classes and brought them back for you."

"Thanks Alice," I said fondly, and with that, Alice led me up the stairs alongside her to take a look at the old school textbooks I'd be using.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 3**

BPOV

You really don't realize how much you miss something until it's gone.

I'd spent a grand total of eight months and two weeks in Jacksonville with mom, but throughout the entire ordeal I was pining for my house in Forks, with the familiar streets, friendly citizens and rainy skies. Jacksonville had been gloomy for me, despite the obvious bustle and sunshine, and never in my life had I longed so much for a rain shower. Jacksonville had its fair share of rain to be sure, but it was different rain- it was warm, sticky, thundery rain. The rain I'd missed was cold- frigid, almost- and dark.

Forks was my favourite spot. I'd missed dad horribly, and not having Alice and Emmett around was a strange shock. I'd grown up with them always around- there'd always been someone close to my age that I could talk to and play with. Alice was the closest thing to a mother I had in my life, and even though Renee had tried to step up to the plate_, she _seemed more like the kid than the parent. She was flighty- she was featherbrained, forgetful, impulsive. She didn't talk about serious things- she didn't ask whether the anti-nausea medication was working. She wanted to know which boys I found cute. She wanted to know whether I found my stepfather's butt to be a nice one.

Florida had never seemed so repulsive. As a northern kid, that's what the youth always spoke of- Florida, with its palm trees and beaches… it wasn't what people made it out to be.

Ironically enough, now that I _was _back in Forks, the most exciting thing I could find to do was to reorganize my pill container. Because of the flight, all medications had to be returned to their proper prescription bottles- a monotonous task, if I ever knew one- but I usually kept them in a container, divided into the seven days of the week and then into morning, noon, afternoon and evening doses. It had twenty-eight compartments, and I was sorting my pills for the next week.

It was tedious, but I knew dad would be on my back about it… he wouldn't trust himself to do it, although he always checked afterwards to make sure I hadn't overdosed myself.

There was a wide assortment of little pills sitting in their containers- three consolidation chemo treatments, two different pain medications, two antivirals, a multivitamin, and even an optional antidepressant, lest the effects of my impending doom suddenly magnify.

I had a few other prescriptions as well- such as one for a strep infection I'd contracted months ago in Florida and one for my immune system in general.

Slowly, counting out the proper amount of pills for today, I grabbed my water bottle just as a knock sounded and my door cracked open.

"Bell?"

"Hi Emmett," I said softly. "Come in."

The door opened and my brother snuck inside, a wide grin on his face.

"Hey," he said in his chipper morning voice. I grinned and tossed back the cocktail of medications. He took no notice of the daily dosage, but proceeded to perch himself on the edge of my bed, looking quite energetic.

"What's up?" I asked, counting out the last pill- the vitamin- for each of the designated containers. He grinned.

"Nothing," he admitted, watching as I dropped the pills one by one, a small _clack _sounding as they fell into the plastic pods.

"What's that one?" he inquired interestedly, looking a little alarmed at the size. They _were_ big.

"A multivitamin," I said simply, shrugging. I showed him the bottle from the drug store- not a prescription at all, and he simply nodded, handing it back without further question.

"You feeling ok?" he asked briskly, looking me over. I nodded quickly and shoved the pill containers back into my backpack from the plane, turning to face him properly.

"Where's Alice?" I asked suddenly, realizing that my sister never missed an opportunity to join in on sibling conversations.

"Jasper's."

Ah.

"Cute," I gushed, making Emmett grimace.

"I'd hardly call it _cute_…" he mused, shaking his large head.

"I'm happy for her," I admitted.

"They balance each other out. He can barely get a word in edgewise once she gets started," he said, a hint of laughter in his tone.

"Alice is sweet." I defended, making him raise his brow questioningly.

"I wouldn't call her _sweet_…" he said sceptically. "More like… perky?"

I laughed softly.

"Now Rose, on the other hand…" he said with an even wider grin than usual. "She's _definitely _not sweet." I smiled and nodded, listening intently.

Rarely, if ever, would people in my house pay Emmett's ramblings any attention. He tended to get crude and off topic, but I never minded listening to him when he got started, and I knew that with Rosalie Hale's appearance in Forks and my corresponding absence, he'd been sorely deprived of listening ears.

"Bella, you have no idea what she's like," he said, sounding quite enraptured. "She's pretty- there's no denying that- but honestly? I like her."

"I know," I cut in, making him smirk.

"I met her at school," he said. "Alice had already met her the night before when she went over to investigate, and she and Rose sort of hit it off, I guess."

"Mhm." I said, encouraging him to continue. He laid back on my bed and picked up the edge of my quilt, tracing the embroidery with his thumb.

_"I_ didn't go over that night, but when Alice came home and told me about the hot chick who lived out back, I wanted to. I met her at school the very next day, and let me tell you, she was such an icy _bitch_. I offered to carry her things, like Alice told me to, and she got all pissy and told me she wasn't an invalid or a cripple."

I snorted with laughter at the mere thought. Poor Emmett's ego must have been very hurt.

"Don't laugh at me," he said with a mocking, dramatic pout. I fell silent, although I couldn't help the smirk, and he continued.

"We have first period together and I tried to get a seat near her, but goddamn Mike Newton beat me to it," he growled angrily, making me laugh again. All through school, Mike had worshipped the ground Emmett walked on, and he'd gone to great lengths to get Alice's attention. In elementary and middle school, Emmett had been on all the sports teams, and that hadn't changed when he moved on to high school. Emmett played basketball, soccer and football when the seasons arose, and Mike had yet to make any team that I knew of.

It was no secret that Emmett despised the puppy named Mike.

"She completely ignored Mike too, though, so it wasn't _that_ bad," he tacked on as an afterthought.

"Anyways, time went on, and before long, Esme had invited us over for dinner. Alice helped her cook and we all went over. Rose had to be nice to me there, but she still managed to be a bit cold towards me… her aunt was pissed.

"Jazz is cool and when he started dating Ali, he sort of got on my good side. I _wanted _to dislike him, you know… the whole 'big brother hates her boyfriend' deal, but Jazz is... cool."

I waited, listening.

"I like Esme." He divulged. "Doctor Cullen's cool too, but he has that sort of _dad_ thing going on… he wears argyle shirts, reads the newspaper and gels his hair in the morning, that sort of thing. Esme makes chocolate chip pancakes and makes a _mean_ espresso."

"Mrs. Cullen can cook so you like _her_ more than _him?"_ I clarified, making Emmett smirk.

"Not _more. _Just... differently."

"Continue," I said with a nod.

"Anyways, Esme was mad that she was being sort of rude, so she shaped up pretty quickly and we actually talked. After that, I knew I wanted her," he said dreamily.

"What does she look like?" I asked. He dove right in to her physical appearance.

"She's tall, blonde and slim," he said quickly, making me nod.

I felt insignificant already.

"She has ice blue eyes and a killer ass…"

"TMI!" I said quickly, covering my ears. "I stop at asses."

"Sorry," he said, not a hint of genuine remorse in his voice. I knew Emmett would never feel bad for noticing a girl's rear.

Emmett wasn't a pervert or a player, but he most certainly wasn't a prude. If a girl had a nice bottom, Emmett would notice.

He enjoyed scoping out cute girls, like most confident teenage boys, and I often caught him staring at busts and bottoms of strange girls in public spaces.

"She's pretty?" I asked again, making him nod quickly.

"I'm biased, but even Alice agrees… she would have modelling potential, if she didn't live in this little Podunk town," he said with a strong hint of dislike.

"Hey now," I scolded quickly, making him sigh. "There's nothing wrong with Forks. I like it here," I said.

"You and dad are about the only ones," he replied honestly, shrugging as he sat up.

"Well, that's what I came in here to say," he said happily. "Alice wouldn't let me talk and dad hates it when I mention girls' asses…"

"Glad to be of assistance," I said wryly, making him sigh as he engulfed me in a tight, yet startlingly gentle hug.

"Love you, Boo," he said quickly, making me smile softly.

"Love you too, Em," I sighed, resting my chin on his shoulder. He let me go after another moment, and without hesitation, he grinned again, reaching into his pocket. He procured a folded sheet of paper with dad's handwriting on it, and Emmett's own scribbled scrawl. He read it over for a moment before he glanced up at me.

"Let's go grocery shopping," he said suddenly, making me stare.

"Grocery shopping?"

"Grocery shopping," he repeated solemnly. "We might see Rose. She likes to food shop."

"Your dream woman," I joked, making him shrug as he stood up, jerking his head in the direction of the door.

I guess I was going grocery shopping.

I grabbed my rain jacket before I followed Emmett down the stairs, and out to his large Jeep, which he had started.

"In," he said firmly as he turned the heat up, knowing dad would throw a fit if Emmett let me stand out in the rain. I clambered inside and Emmett backed out of the driveway, looking quite content to be behind the wheel. He pulled out onto the wet asphalt of the main road and drove along leisurely.

"Is she nice?" I asked suddenly, turning to Emmett questioningly. He grinned.

"Nope."

I frowned.

"I defended her before, but she's pretty nasty to me," he admitted simply. "Alice thinks she's cool."

I instantly cheered up, knowing how Emmett could push girls to be a little snippy with him, no matter how nice they were around others. I loved my brother, but he had a way of bringing out the angry sides of people, whether he meant to or not. He knew which buttons to push and when to push them, but for someone so attuned to others, he never knew when to stop or let it go.

"Here we are," said Emmett, pulling into the local grocery store with a wide grin and a bright red debit card in his hand, ready for business.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 4**

BPOV

Today was the day I was to start school.

After Emmett and I had a particularly interesting grocery store excursion, we'd managed to arrive home safely with all the proper ingredients to make spaghetti- a house favourite. I'd cooked, with him fluttering and helping where he could, and he was quite proud of his accomplishments.

It was old news that Emmett was incompetent in the kitchen. He was much too impatient for cooking.

My alarm clock had gone off with a loud buzzing noise in the morning, waking me from my dead sleep and shoving me into the light of the morning with a nasty jolt. After I'd regained my bearings and found the _off_ button, I'd managed to drag my tired, achy body from the bed and into the washroom, where I'd washed my face and made sure I looked half decent, and not like a half-dead rat. The baldness of my head stood out pointedly as I examined myself in the mirror, and I frowned disgustedly, instantly moving out of the mirror's range.

I hated my own head.

Sighing heavily, I went back to my room and grabbed a pair of comfortable jeans and a plain shirt before I moved over to my special drawer. Opening it up, I frowned, looking at the array of colourful fabrics and patterned prints all folded neatly into little bundles. A few toques sat off to the side for the winter months, but those were disregarded.

School would be interesting. I knew the kids would see me as the cancer kid- they always did- but I wondered how they'd treat Alice and Emmett because of it. I wondered if any of them even _knew_ I was coming, let alone _today_…

These were my old schoolmates from grade school. I'd been home-schooled since my last relapse and I doubted any of them remembered me very well, but for those who still lived in good old Forks, they knew _who_ I was.

"Bella?" asked Alice from outside my door, right before it swung open. To my absolute mortification, Alice stepped inside and glanced up, looking a little shocked before she plastered a smile on her face.

I glowered.

"Get out," I snapped, my voice low and angry as she looked down at the floor.

"Sorry," she muttered, making tears spring to my eyes as I looked for something- anything- to cover my head.

She'd never seen it, as far as I knew, and I never wanted her to.

"It's not a big deal," she said gently, still not leaving and avoiding my gaze. I felt a tear fall as I snatched up a hat, shoving it over the sensitive skin.

"Out," My voice was cold and nearly unrecognizable, and Alice simply sighed.

"It's a head," she said bluntly. "We all have one."

"Alice, please," I whispered, trying not to let myself cry in front of her.

"Sorry," she repeated, sounding remorseful. "I shouldn't have barged in…"

"It's fine," I said quickly. "Please go so I can cover it properly."

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?" she asked in a soft, incredulous voice. Her words stung, and I turned quickly, seeing her own bright eyes and sad face.

"You're not shallow," I said earnestly. "It's ugly, and I don't want _anyone _to see it. The doctors were bad enough…"

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," she said firmly, taking a step forward. "You went through a traumatic time in your life and ended up bald because of it. It's not your fault."

"I know," I said honestly. "It's the chemo's fault, but it's still hideous, and I don't want people seeing it."

"I know, and I'm sorry," she repeated. "Let me help you pick one."

"Alice…" I hesitated, glancing over at the neatly organized drawer. Alice's own feathery hair seemed to mock my nonexistent tresses, but without waiting for a formal consent, she took up three wraps- one red, one blue and one black- placing them on my pillow.

"Which one?" she asked speculatively, making me sigh.

"Black," I said softly, trying to force back the tears that threatened to leak out.

"Bella…" said Alice softly, standing with the black fabric in hand. I frowned as she reached for my striped hat, and she sighed.

"It's a head," she reminded me.

"Without hair," I countered, trying to take the wrap from her hands.

"Bella, please?" she asked, looking sad and hopeful at the same time. She saw the bright eyes and sighed, handing me the head wrap reluctantly, looking defeated.

"I'll turn," she said, turning on her heel to face the wall as I scrambled to put it on. I tied it in a simple, strong knot and let the strings hang over my shoulders- almost like _real _hair- before Alice turned back around, a smile gracing her face once more.

"Looks good," she said appraisingly, looking me over from head to toe. "Although I wish you'd let me choose your shirts…" she added wistfully.

"I'm not a fan of sparkles and v-necks," I said dryly, making her smirk, handing me my new pair of flats she'd been dying to give me to go along with my black and blue theme.

"I think you're beautiful," she said suddenly, turning to me with nothing but honesty shining in her eyes.

I stared, sceptical before she nodded affirmatively, smiling.

"Thanks," I said slowly, making her smile widen before she turned once again and made her way downstairs.

Only Alice could tell me that without lying.

"Dad!" I heard Emmett complain as I reached the kitchen, where breakfast was supposed to be taking place.

"No. Eat your cereal," said dad wearily, glancing at his bulky, whining son.

"I'm eighteen," said Emmett triumphantly. Dad simply grunted.

"And I'm your father. Sit down," retorted dad sharply. Emmett, frowning, sat down with a huff.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously, making dad glance over as Emmett sulked and Alice simply shook her head softly.

"Your brother wants to take a road trip to California for spring break," said dad gruffly, glancing disapprovingly at Emmett. I simply nodded.

"Cool."

"See? Bella thinks it's cool," said Emmett, glancing happily at me. Dad rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure she does. I don't," he said simply.

"You suck," said Emmett childishly.

"Emmett, please don't be difficult," begged dad tiredly.

"Can I go to Cabo then?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

Emmett's glare could rival a laser.

"I think Rose is hosting a party over spring break," said Alice, diffusing the situation while she ate her breakfast. Dad sighed in relief as Emmett perked up, looking curious.

"Rosalie?" he confirmed.

Poor Emmett.

"Yes, dumbass," Said Alice pointedly. "Jazz was talking about how Carlisle and Esme okayed it last week. She wants us to go, if we can make it."

"We can make it," said Emmett, nodding his head quickly. "Rose's it is."

"Thank you," said dad, looking wholly relieved that Emmett had given up on California surfing for his week-long break.

"Have you been crying?" he dad suddenly, looking at me with critical, worried eyes.

I blushed.

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Bell," he warned. "If you're hurting, you need to say something-"

"I wasn't crying, and I'm _not _hurting," I said, my voice a little sharper than I'd intended. "I'm tired."

"Can you handle school?" he asked nervously, glancing at the clock.

"I'm fine," I assured, earning me a critical stare before he nodded gently, pointing me towards the refrigerator and cupboards to choose my breakfast. I grabbed a glass of juice and took my daily dose of pills before I grabbed a piece of toast- something light and easy before my first day of school.

"Just so you know, I'll be home when you get back around lunch. I took the day off," Said dad in a rush, making me sigh and resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"You didn't have to," I said sternly. "I can manage."

"I know."

His voice was sad and worried as always, and I resisted the urge to complain about it.

"Thanks dad," I said softly, finishing off the last of my meagre breakfast as Emmett shovelled the last of his cereal down his throat.

I was surprised he didn't choke.

"We'll watch her, dad," said Emmett seriously, shooting me a playful wink before dad nodded.

"I know," he said simply.

"Jasper's been waiting to meet you," said Alice excitedly. "I told him last week that you were coming home, and I know you'll like him…" she gushed.

"I'm sure I will," I soothed. "He sounds nice."

"He _is _nice…" she said, much more excited than anyone should be at eight in the morning. "I remember when we first kissed and afterwards he said-"

"You have to get going," said dad suddenly, standing up quickly. Alice snorted with laughter.

"You're an old prude," she accused lovingly, pecking him on the cheek as he deposited his coffee mug in the sink with reddened cheeks.

"Love you too," he said sarcastically. "Go learn."

"Bye dad," I said fondly as Emmett darted out the door, shouting a hasty goodbye before his large Jeep started up, rumbling loudly.

"Be careful, Bella," said dad sternly, watching as I opened the door and left the house.

"Up you get," said Emmett, boosting me into the back of his tall Jeep when I reached the door. He passed me my backpack and supplies before he took one giant leg and propelled himself into the driver's seat while Alice leapt into the back, beside me.

"You've been to the high school before, right?" she asked suddenly, looking at me curiously.

"Once," I admitted. "When I was eight."

"Right," she said, obviously remembering. "You had that basketball camp dad enrolled you in…"

"Failure," I reminisced, shaking my head to get the horrid memories of my childhood basketball endeavours out of my head.

"It's right there," she said suddenly, pointing to the familiar brick building. "We don't really need to drive, but it gets cold."

"It rains," I said frankly, making her nod.

We pulled into the school lot inconspicuously, sliding into Emmett's usual parking space by the door. Beside us was a silver Volvo, and an old white little Honda, and without hesitation, I slid out of the Jeep, taking my bag with me. Alice followed daintily as always, shooting me a small, encouraging nod before she scanned the damp lot, a huge smile appearing on her face.

"There's Jasper and Rosalie," she said happily, pointing over towards the doors. The two blondes stood side by side, the girl nearly as tall as the boy. I could tell from here that she was very pretty, and I instantly felt self conscious.

"Don't worry, Bella," said Alice, perceptive as always. "She might be cold towards Emmett, but she's my friend, and she'll love you."

"She's pretty," I noted, making Alice giggle.

"She could be a model, if she wanted to," said Alice indifferently. "She's got the looks and the height, but Rose likes cars. She wants to be a mechanic." I was momentarily stunned, but before I could get too awkward or silent, the blonde boy appeared by her side, giving her a quick kiss.

I blushed and looked away, unused to seeing Alice with a boyfriend.

"Jasper, this is Bella," she said suddenly, tugging me forward. Emmett was nowhere to be seen, but the blonde girl was approaching us quietly as well, looking curious.

"Hello," said Jasper in a smooth, slightly accented voice. I couldn't suppress the grin and Alice seemed overjoyed.

"Hi." My voice was a high squeak, but Jasper politely took no notice and simply shook my hand formally, as he would to any other person. He didn't once look at my bald head covered by the black wrap, and for that, I was grateful.

"I'll let you show your sister around," he said to Alice, offering me a polite nod before he hugged and moved towards the doors.

"He's so nice," sighed Alice, making me laugh lightly.

"Hi Alice."

I jumped in shock and nearly fell over as Alice steadied me, laughing softly. I wheeled around quickly and blushed red to the roots of my hair as I sized up the girl behind me.

Rosalie Hale _was _very pretty, and I immediately felt my own meagre confidence sink through the asphalt.

"Hey Rose. This is Bella," she reminded, making Rosalie nod once as she looked me over from head to toe.

I squirmed under her gaze.

"Hi." The same squeaky voice made itself known and Rosalie smiled slightly, obviously knowing the effect she had on people.

"Hi Bella," she said, her voice much kinder. She shocked me by giving me a light, gentle hug before she let me go, glancing at Alice.

"She's taller than _you_, at least," she teased, making Alice scowl.

"Bella's not _that _tall," argued Alice.

"Around five four." Said Rose fairly, looking me over again. Alice sighed, defeated.

"The bell's going to ring in ten minutes, so you might want to go to the office and get her schedule," said Rosalie, glancing at her watch. She shot me a small smile before Alice nodded and took me by the hand, walking towards the front door.

"Come on, Rose!" she called behind her, making Rosalie smile as she followed.

"I don't want to intrude," she said quietly, making Alice snort.

"You're not," she assured. "Bella wanted a friend, didn't you?" Her eyes glittered mischievously.

"Um… yeah."

Rosalie nodded silently as Alice dragged me to the main office, where she managed to sweet talk my schedule and orientation booklet away from the secretary.

"Here you are, dear." Said the kind old woman, handing her the papers.

"Thanks Mrs. Cope!"

"Her locker's right down there, and you'll need to get that top form signed by your teachers today," said Mrs. Cope, addressing the last portion directly to me

"Thank you," I said, letting Alice lead me to my new locker, handing me my two textbooks.

"English and history," said Alice, grimacing as she read the titles. I smiled wistfully, knowing that dad had chosen the courses well.

"Nerd," accused Alice playfully, handing me my backpack gently.

"Your classes are all down here," she said, pointing towards the hallway we were already in. "Mr. Varner teaches English in room 104 and Ms. Friedman teaches history in 109."

"Thanks," I said for what felt like the fiftieth time today.

The bell rang, interrupting our mundane dialogue and signalling the arrival of the other kids.

"Emmett and I are upstairs all morning, but just remember the numbers," said Alice as the students began to file inside, almost every single one staring at me.

"Bye Ali," I said softly. She waved gently and Rosalie simply nodded, making me smile gratefully at her before I sighed, steeling myself to find my class. Room 104 was only two doors down from where I was now, and when I found the horde of kids standing outside, I immediately questioned my choice.

Maybe school was a stupid idea after all. The group of jock-like boys were watching me with morbid curiosity, all of them looking shocked and a little scared.

Why were people always scared of the sick kid? It's not like it was contagious…

"Miss Swan," said a deep voice from behind me, making me jump. The teacher appeared in front of me with a kind smile on his face as he signed my form and introduced himself.

"I'm Mr. Varner," he explained as he unlocked the door. He and I both waited until the throng of kids shoved their way through the door before we went in, and I was glad to have avoided any painful bruises.

Bruises were always painful nowadays.

"You can sit right there," he said, pointing to a seat in the front corner.

Great. They could all stare, now.

"We're working on our Shakespearean unit right now. Macbeth," he told me, handing me a copy of the play and a thick booklet of questions and assignments for the unit.

"We just started a few days ago, so you're not far behind," he continued with another kind smile.

"Thanks," I said, sitting down quietly as the kids whispered and gawked.

Juvenile.

"Eyes front!" barked Mr. Varner sternly, making all the kids snap forward. He began to write down simple questions on the board before the national anthem and announcements came on, and class could begin.

English was my all time favourite subject in school, even when I'd only had tutors at home. I loved reading, since when you were sick in bed, it was one of the few things you _could _do, and there was something entirely fascinating about being able to escape into another world simply by absorbing the words written on a page.

Despite Mr. Varner's kindness towards me, he was a sharp, curt teacher who didn't take very well to his students' foolishness. He was a drill sergeant, that was certain, but to those who paid attention and did what he asked, he was as kind as could be. A girl in the back named Cayley seemed to be on his good list, while boys like Tyler Crowley and the infamous Mike Newton were definitely on his bad side.

The class passed easily enough, and I was thankful that we not only got to listen to the play on an audio tape, but that Mr. Varner never called on me for answers. He often shot me kindly, almost proud glances.

When the bell rang, I was almost sorry to leave the class, but there was a sense of fulfillment that came along with it.

Only when I stood up was I dragged back into the realm of reality, and I realized once again how many people were watching me with curious, pitying eyes.

I blushed and snatched up my things, keeping my head down as I left the room as quickly as my uncoordinated feet would allow.

I needed room 109.

My eyes remained glued to the tiled floor as I weaved through the students, not wanting to see the eyes on me, and before I could so much as try to stop, I felt something large and hard slam into my front, sending me flat on my ass with a thump. I grunted as I hit the ground and my eyes immediately shot up, startled.

A boy was standing there, a similar look of shock on his own scowling face as he pinched his nose with his eyes avoiding all contact with myself or any passersby. He had mossy green eyes and pale skin, with mop of strange coppery hair in a great disarray on top of his head.

He looked angry.

"I'm sorry-" I started, right before he scowled.

"Watch where you're going," he snapped, running a hand through his hair as he looked down at me for the first time.

"Sorry," I repeated, blushing red as the boy stepped around me, leaving me to pick up my books and backpack with sore, throbbing arms.

That was going to bruise. It was already sore, and thanks to my low platelet count, my entire front was already starting to darken. With all the dignity I could muster, I stood back up and dusted myself off, heading straight for my history class, avoiding the renewed whispers and stares.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 5**

EPOV

School was the epitome of hell on Earth, and forcing me out of bed this morning was the worst thing my mother could have done. The alarm had been blaring, my head throbbing and my body lethargic thanks to the little 'secret' party Tyler had held last night. Sunday nights were the worst for drinking, and thanks to the beer I'd had and the fumes from the joints Tyler and his friend had smoked, I'd been pretty fucked up last night.

"Get out of bed, now," said mom angrily, her hands on her hips as she stared at me. Her hair was done up perfectly, just as it was every morning, but today, instead of a kind smile and warm conversation, her eyes were icy and narrowed, glaring daggers at me.

"Can you close the damn curtains at least?" I demanded, wincing as the light hit my eyes.

"Watch your language, Edward," she snapped angrily, staring right at me.

"Mom…" I complained, only earning me a heavy sigh as she yanked my warm blankets off, leaving me in the chilled air of my room in nought but my boxer shorts.

"Mom!" I shouted angrily, trying to snatch the blanket back.

"I don't care how much you had to drink at Tyler's last night, you're going to school," she said simply, folding the duvet at the end of my bed.

How the fuck did she know where I was?

"I'm not dumb, Edward," she said dryly, seeing my dumbstruck expression. "I know that Mr. and Mrs. Crowley were gone to the Port Angeles charity benefit last night and I knew you were there. Tyler Crowley is a horrible influence on you…" she tutted.

"Sorry," I grumbled, making her purse her lips.

"Your eyes are red and you're pale... I know the signs," she decided. "I was a kid once too, you know."

Hardly.

"Yeah, I'm up," I said, trying my hardest not to be rude. I might have been a spoiled little prick, but I would never purposely back-sass my mother.

"I know you are," she said fondly. "Just remember to keep your weekend exploits tame on Sunday nights, and no more drinking, am I clear?" she said sternly, making me nod.

I'd drink whenever the fuck I wanted to, and neither she, nor my father would be able to stop me.

"Shower and come down for breakfast," she said.

"I'm not hungry," I grunted.

"You're hungover, and if you want to drive your own car, you're eating," she said simply. I bit back my retort and simply marched into my bathroom, slamming the door with unnecessary force behind me.

Breakfast was a bore, as usual. Jasper spoke with mom about god knows what, Rosalie stared at me from across the table like I was a circus freak, and I choked down two pieces of toast and an egg, courtesy of mom. Rosalie knew exactly what my problem was, and if I knew my cousin correctly, she thought I was a disgusting pig.

"Feeling sick?" she guessed sarcastically, making mom shush her quickly.

"Esme, he's hungover," she complained, looking at my mother sternly.

"And I'll deal with him after school," she decided, making me stare.

Fuck my life.

Whenever mom "dealt" with me, it consisted of her taking away my car or piano privileges.

"See you later," said Rosalie, standing to put her plate in the dishwasher, along with Jasper's and mom's.

Thanks for the help, Rose.

She simply smirked at me as she walked by, and mom rolled her eyes as I shoved my plate into the dishwasher moodily, following Jasper to the door.

"No piano, Edward," said mom quietly as she handed me my keys. I rolled my eyes and hers narrowed, threatening.

"Do you want your car gone too?" she asked dangerously, making me shake my head quickly.

"No," I said quickly, earning me a disapproving glance.

"Please be careful," she begged sadly, watching me go out the door to my Volvo, where Jasper and Rosalie were waiting.

"Hurry up. It's cold," said Rosalie impatiently, making me smirk as I took even longer to open the door than usual, just to get a rise out of her.

"Edward, please not today," said Jasper wearily, making me stare. "Be nice?" he asked hopefully, making me smirk.

"Sure," I said indifferently, earning me a deep sigh.

"Thank you."

I drove out of my driveway and onto the main road, where I found our school easily enough, parking in my regular spot.

"Later," I said dismissively, getting out and moving towards the back end of the school, where I knew I would be able to smoke without someone calling my mother. She'd confronted me a few times about smoking cigarettes, but she had yet to catch me doing it, so she had nothing to go on but that slut Lauren Mallory's word.

I reached into my pocket and took out one of the cancerous, tobacco-filled sticks and lit it up, taking a long drag as I tried to force down my headache.

Ever since we'd moved here, I'd been trying to shape up my act, but it was harder than most would think. In Chicago, I'd been somewhat of a badass. I'd never really done anything too horrible… I'd tried alcohol and cigarettes, but never any street drugs, and although a lot of my friends fought, I'd only been involved twice- once when someone had been trying to steal from my garage and once when one of the guys had been too handsy with Rosalie. I might not have liked my cousin-come-sister, but she was family, and no one fucked with her if I could help it.

Even if I was two years younger, it had taken Rose a while to grow to her height of five eleven, and even now, I was a few inches taller.

The cigarette was gone much sooner than I'd have liked, and I took my time crushing it underfoot before I heard the bell ring, and I cursed.

I was going to be late.

At a fast sprint, I dashed towards the school, past the stunned old secretary and right into my first period chemistry class, just as Mr. Chider was reading my name from the attendance sheet.

"Late," He said disapprovingly, pointing me towards the all-too familiar basket full of blank detention slips on his desk.

Fuck.

Angry, I stormed over and snatched one loudly, earning a raised eyebrow as I crumpled it in my hand and shoved it deep into my pocket, glaring.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Cullen?"

_You bet your ass there is._

"No."

"Take out your homework, please," he said to the entire class, once again making me sigh.

I'd done shit all last night thanks to Tyler's impromptu decision to get us all plastered.

"Incomplete," he said stiffly as he passed my desk, dropping yet another mint-green slip on my desk.

_Fuck him._

I snatched that one up too and shoved it alongside the other, royally pissed that I now owed him forty minutes of my personal time.

"Now," He started, writing out chemical equations on the blackboard. "Would someone care to balance this equation?"

Everyone was so fucking tired and bored that no one raised their hand.

"Mr. Cullen?" he asked innocently, his eyes wide and questioning.

"No," I said simply, glaring at the question from my uncomfortable stool.

"Yes," he said loudly. "Come and balance this out, then we'll take a look."

_Fuck you._

I stood from my seat and moved over to the blackboard, staring at the molecules of ammonia, sulphate and whatever the fuck else was written up there.

I had no clue what the hell I was doing, and this stupid prick knew it.

"Uncertain?" he asked in a simpering voice, making me shrug.

"You know I didn't do it," I said simply, earning me snickers from the rest of the class.

"Would someone care to give Mr. Cullen the first step?" asked the teacher, obviously displeased.

No hands.

Fuck this class.

I sighed, taking up the chalk and wrote random numbers in front of the molecules, making the teacher sigh.

He was lucky I didn't write 'fuck you' or something equally as rude.

"Incorrect," said the teacher smugly, rubbing out my numbers and writing in the correct ones.

On a normal day, I would have glowered at the teacher and let it go, but today, I was in no goddamn mood for his games. I was fuming in my seat as he politely mocked my answer, explaining why a bunch of random numbers I'd pulled out of my ass were just plain wrong. The class seemed amused my his spiel and I was anything but, so by the time class was over, I was in desperate need of a smoke.

"Mr. Cullen, please remain after class," said Mr. Prick as the bell rang, and all the kids filed out. With an eye roll, I remained in my seat, staring at Mr. Chider with angry, resentful eyes.

"Is everything alright?" he asked me worriedly, looking nervous.

"Yes," I said sternly, standing.

"Not so fast, Edward." He said, speaking as if he were trying to be my friend.

This old man had been the creepy nerd no one talked to in high school, that much was certain.

"I need to let you know that if this behaviour keeps up, I'll have no choice but to call your parents. I expect those detentions by tomorrow, and I'll expect the homework from today's lesson to be finished," he warned.

"Whatever."

"Go to your next class," he said wearily, allowing me to dart out as fast as I could.

Prick.

Without even looking in front of me, I walked as fast as I could towards my music class- my favourite class of the day- but before I could even take ten steps down the hallway, something slammed into my front with astonishing force, making me stumble back as my sore head throbbed.

I snapped.

"I'm sorry-" said a small, feminine voice from my feet, and with that stumbled apology, I nearly growled.

"Watch where you're going," I snapped, running my hand through my hair to try and relieve the ache.

Only then did I look down to see the perpetrator, and what I _did _see, made me feel even worse than I already did.

A girl was sitting on her ass in front of me, her large, chocolate brown doe eyes staring in shock and slight fear at me. Her skin was ghostly pale and nearly translucent, and on her head was a black scarf of some sort, concealing her obviously bald head.

Fuck.

"Sorry," she said again as I sidestepped her and darted to music, not having the balls to apologize to this strange girl. I had no idea who she was, but she was obviously sick, and my goddamn attitude had probably just scared the shit out of her.

_Great job, Cullen._

I marched down to my music class, brushing the bald girl aside for the time being to focus on the piano- knowing my mother wouldn't let me play later tonight.

ooOoo

Lunch came as much too quickly, and with a smile from my favourite teacher, Ms. Lauder, I was forced out of the music room and to the cafeteria, where I'd endure an hour with Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Alice. I didn't mind Jasper or Emmett so much, but Rosalie was always a bitch to me, and Alice was much too perky for my liking. She and Jasper had been dating for nearly seven months now, and there was never a moment that didn't involve Alice in some form or another, whether it be Jasper describing a kiss or Alice coming over to spend time with my mother.

Alice fucking loved my mother since from I'd gathered, she didn't really have one of her own.

When I got to the cafeteria I was shocked to see that Alice was missing, and much to my enjoyment, Rosalie was deep in conversation with Emmett about her new car. Emmett was hanging on to her every word as if it was the fucking Bible, and Rosalie was obviously pleased with his undivided attention. Emmett said fuck all to me as I sat down and Rosalie simply ignored my presence, ploughing on with her story about paint colours she'd wanted for her BMW.

Emmett was nearly drooling.

"Where's Alice?" I asked, turning to Jasper. He smiled slightly at the mention of his girlfriend and sighed.

"Driving her sister home," he said with a shrug.

"Her sister?" At my words, Rosalie scoffed loudly and stopped her story, glancing at me incredulously.

"Seriously?" she asked scornfully as Emmett watched me curiously.

"Bella came back last week," said Emmett quietly.

_Bella… _that sounded vaguely familiar.

"You're so damn ignorant," spat Rosalie. "Their sister from Florida?"

Oh fuck.

I could remember a vague lunchtime conversation where Alice had gushed for an entire hour about her sister coming back from Florida after finishing her cancer treatments.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_

Alice would castrate me for knocking her sister down in the hallway.

"Right," I said, shaking my head as Rosalie rolled her eyes and restarted her one sided dialogue with Emmett.

"Alice told me that she and Charlie fought about letting her come for half days," said Jasper suddenly.

Fuck… Chief Swan would _definitely _castrate me if Alice didn't get me first.

"Yeah," I said indifferently, hoping to god that Bella had kept her mouth shut.

Right on cue, the cafeteria doors opened and in stormed an angry Alice, her eyes glued on me.

_Goodbye, balls._

"Damn," said Jasper worriedly, eying Alice with careful, caring eyes. Rosalie looked intrigued as well, and Emmett looked merely fearful as his small twin stormed over, her pretty little face blazing with anger.

"Edward Cullen," she seethed, giving me a firm thwack upside the head.

My temper flared, but I forced it down along with the throbbing ache she'd induced, knowing that Jasper would finish the castration himself if I hurt Alice.

Then I'd have three people after my 'nads.

"How could you, Edward?" she asked, her face gone from angry to sad in .5 seconds.

"How could I what?" I snapped rudely, playing dumb. Emmett watched Alice carefully, internalizing the dialogue intently.

Were they all out to get me?

"What is your problem?" she demanded in her high, shrill voice.

"Right now? You," I said honestly.

"Watch yourself," said Jasper sternly, his eyes turned on me as well.

"You couldn't have been a little nicer to her?" she demanded, still not sitting down. I sighed.

"_She _fucking ran into_ me_, okay?" I said defensively. "She needed to watch where she was going."

I felt like an even bigger prick for saying it.

"Oh, Edward..."

Now she was disappointed, and I knew I'd cave.

"You really hurt her," she said sadly.

"Hurt who?" asked Emmett loudly, making Alice sigh.

"Bella."

"Fuck, man…" started Emmett angrily. "What did you do?"

"She ran into me in the hallway," I defended. "I didn't know who the hell she was."

"How many sick kids does this school have?" asked Rosalie scornfully, looking even more disgusted with me than usual.

"I had no idea it was her," I said simply. "Get off my back."

"You should have known," accused Alice. "She has a big black bruise all down her front thanks to you."

I was stunned for a moment, but my voice soon returned.

"She ran into _me_, okay? Not a wall," I said honestly. Alice sighed, sitting down sadly next to Jasper. Jasper simply put his arm on her shoulders, drawing her closer.

"Is she okay?" he asked concernedly.

"She'd better fucking be okay!" boomed Emmett loudly, gaining the attention of a few passing freshmen.

"She's fine, just sore," soothed Alice, her brow creased.

"Dude, she ran into me and fell on her ass. I didn't hit her, or anything," I said quickly, seeing Emmett's angry gaze.

"You might as well have," said Alice, anger seeping into her tone once again. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Don't be dramatic," I snapped, not in the mood for soap opera pixies.

"She has leukemia," said Alice bluntly, making Emmett frown as Rosalie stared between the two of us. "She bruises like a peach and because it's so far along, her bones get sore when she hits them."

_Way to go, dickhead._

"Well, sorry," I said harshly, making Alice flinch.

"You really are an ass," she said shakily, standing from her place at the table and leaving the cafeteria completely, letting Jasper follow. Emmett stared at me distastefully and Rose's disgust was nearly palpable as I sighed and stood up as well, marching right outside to have another smoke.

I felt like a complete and total dick now that Alice had bitched me out for knocking her sister down, and as I took a puff of my cigarette, I tried to force down the uncharacteristic feeling of guilt that was rising like a tidal wave within me.

I knew I'd have to apologize sooner or later, and I knew that acting like a complete moron in front of the only people I considered friends wasn't the best way to keep them close.

I was such a prick.


	6. Chapter 6

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 6**

BPOV

History class passed in a blur of pain and confusion, and eventually, after earning some nervous glances from my teacher whenever I winced and cringed, the bell rang, signalling the end of my school day.

Maybe karma was catching up with me for fighting dad's advice- this bruise was getting bigger and darker by the second, and my whole body was aching.

My locker came into view and without hesitation, I shoved my stuff away and left my empty backpack in the metal box before I slammed it shut and took a deep breath, knowing that if I went home in pain and wincing, dad would have a coronary and I'd never be allowed back.

Dying sucked in more ways than one- thanks to this disease, even though I had six months left, every second of every day had to revolve around the illness, pills, pain or other nasty side-effects.

I'd never live a normal life, and as resigned as I was to accepting that, it didn't make it any less crappy.

"Bell?" asked Alice's chipper, happy voice as she approached me. Her happy smile fell into an angry, worried frown as she looked me over, obviously displeased with the darkening bruise spreading across my front.

"What the hell did you do?" she demanded, taking me by the shoulders so she could lean in closer.

"Nothing. Can we please go?" I asked, my voice betraying me by cracking.

"Like hell it's nothing!" she cried angrily. "Did you hit yourself?"

"Yeah, I whacked myself in the chest," I said sarcastically. "It hurts, and I want to go."

"Bella…" she said, aghast as she led me towards the front door, most of the kids glancing down sympathetically at the bruise. She took out the keys to Emmett's Jeep, and were it not for my own discomfort, I'd have laughed at the idea of little Alice driving such a huge piece of machinery. She started it up and turned on the heater for me before she followed the procession of cars out of the lot, all the while glancing between me and the road.

"What happened?" she asked sadly.

"I bumped into someone and fell on my ass," I admitted with flushed cheeks. "It hurt, it's bruised, but it'll go away eventually."

"Who bumped into you?" she asked indignantly.

"Some kid… I don't know his name," I said wearily.

"Not Jasper?" she said sternly, making me shake my head.

"No, I'm sure Jasper would have had the decency to help me up after," I replied shortly. She shot me a sad glance before she turned onto the main road that would bring us home.

"What did he look like?" she asked carefully, looking angrier than ever.

"Pale, green eyes…" I recalled, shrugging. "And funny hair."

"Reddish hair?" she asked suddenly, turning to me again.

"Yeah. Coppery," I noted, remembering how his hand had run through it.

"That prick," she said darkly, making me frown.

"Who?" I asked.

"Edward Cullen," she spat.

So _that _was the friendly neighbours' son. Great.

"He didn't even help you up?" she asked exasperatedly. "He should _know _better…"

"Well obviously he didn't," I said quietly as she pulled into the lot, letting me jump out.

"Take it easy tonight," she advised, glancing at the bruise with troubled eyes. I nodded and without hesitation, she helped me up the front steps and through the door, where she called out to dad.

"Alice, no-" I started.

"What the hell, Bella?" demanded dad worriedly as he took in my appearance.

"Bye," said Ali softly, leaving quickly.

"Bye."

"What happened?" demanded dad, taking my shoulders gingerly. "Did you fall?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said, shrugging him off to find my medication.

"You guess?" he repeated, following me to the basket of medications I had on hand when I needed something besides the pills designated in my daily regimen.

"I ran into someone. Literally," I said quietly. Dad shook his head, and I knew it wasn't unexpected with my lack of coordination.

"You need to be careful," he admonished. "And are you sure you didn't run into the wall?" I grabbed a small glass of water, swallowing the pill quickly.

"From what I saw, Edward Cullen is far from a wall," I retorted.

"That boy's no good," he said firmly. "Carlisle and Esme are nice people, and so are the twins, but that boy is a piece of work."

"You've arrested him?" I asked interestedly, turning to face dad. His cheeks turned pink and he bristled.

"Not exactly," he admitted. "I've caught him smoking."

"Smoking," I said dryly. "Wow."

"Stay away from him, please?" he asked, clearly expecting my inner Emmett to come out for a fight.

"Fine by me," I said quietly, sighing in relief as I felt the fast-acting medication start to kick in.

I would be sleeping like a baby in minutes.

"Lie down before you fall over," said dad gently, knowing full well that my lucidity didn't last long with pain medication.

"Yeah," I said, letting him lead me into the living room, onto the long sofa. I laid down at one end and he sat by my feet, allowing me to rest them on his lap.

"Sleep it off, and hopefully that bruise will dissipate a little," he said sympathetically, just as my eyelids began to droop, and I was sent into a blissful, drug-induced slumber.

* * *

ChPOV

I watched nostalgically as Bella fell asleep on the armrest of the sofa, her small, fragile body sinking into the cushions as the medication overtook her, allowing her some proper rest.

It pained me to watch my youngest in such a fragile state and I knew that it would never get easier, now that she'd been sent back home to us with her death sentence. Bella had been a special child- both in personality and intent… she was supposed to be the balm for mine and Renee's failed relationship.

Watching Bella reminded me a lot of my ex-wife, who had never been a truly active part in any of our children's lives. She and I shared three beautiful children- the twins and Bella- and when little Bella had only been three, Renee had walked out on us, leaving our kids without a mother and myself without support or companionship. She'd left me alone with three young kids and a full time job, and I'd never truly forgiven her for that.

Renee and I had been foolish high school sweethearts who'd run off together to get married at only eighteen. We'd been happier than ever during our honeymoon period, and I knew that Renee was the only woman I could have loved and cherished as my wife. Soon after the shock and gossip our marriage had died down, Renee had discovered that she was pregnant, and once again, it stirred up the town.

Renee had always hated Forks' gossipers and the all knowing public eye, so when it became known that Charlie and Renee Swan- the young, foolish newlyweds- were expecting twins, it was only natural that the town had to talk.

Renee had been pleased to discover our double blessing, and I'd been the classic first time father. I'd panicked, obsessed and doted over Renee day and night, giving her whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. I was the one who went to McDonalds in the middle of the night for a cheeseburger, no matter what time it was or what I was supposed to be doing the next morning. Renee had grown bigger and bigger with our babies, and when the time came, the twins were born via caesarean section without complications.

We'd gained two healthy, happy babies- Emmett Charles and Mary Alice Swan. Renee had hated the name _Mary_ for her baby but thanks to our compromise, that's the name she'd gotten, even if she would be called Alice for the rest of her life. Little Alice and Emmett were the light of our lives, until it was time to come home.

From the moment we stepped in the door of our home, Renee had seemed different. She was tired, that much was expected, but she was also reserved- and Renee was never reserved. Everyone who knew my wife knew that she was never quiet and sad- she was always upbeat, happy and energetic, much like my oldest daughter was today. Nothing brought Renee down, but after giving birth to our twins, she withdrew and closed herself off.

A trip to our doctor had revealed that she suffered from postpartum depression, and she was given a prescription for antidepressants.

The illness had worried me at first. I'd seen all sorts of crazy shows where depressed mothers would murder their babies or burn their houses down, but Renee never showed any signs of violence. She fed, burped, changed and bathed both babies gently and properly, but there was never any passion or love involved. She was like a robot, and for someone who had been looking forward to motherhood, it was a sad shock.

I'd loved those babies from day one, and with my own limited understanding, I didn't know what her problem was. We ended up fighting about her attitude towards her children and she'd grown angrier and angrier with me as the fights escalated. Her depression had gone away about five months after the birth, but even after she was 'illness free', she was cold and unhappy.

She couldn't bond with her children now that they'd grown attached to me instead of her, and I knew that because they barely recognized her, she'd given up completely.

For over a year she remained estranged from Alice and Emmett, and during one of our rare date nights, she'd sprung her latest crazy idea on me.

She suggested that since we were financially stable and happy, that we should try for another baby, to strengthen our bond and that between her and the twins. She wanted to get to know them and she wanted to love them, and by creating another life, she felt that our chances would be renewed.

I would have tried anything at that point, so without further ado, she and I had set to work on another child.

Only three months later, she announced that she was pregnant with our third baby, and the family bonding began.

Renee, pregnant with only one baby this time, grew round again, and for the first time in years, she was truly happy. Pregnancy agreed with her, and she glowed as she grew closer with her children and myself, and she definitely seemed more optimistic about this baby. I was one of the top men on the police force at that point and she was teaching afternoon art classes to the elderly, and although her jobs were odd, they brought in a decent income. This baby was being welcomed with open arms, and I couldn't think of anything better for our family.

Isabella Marie Swan was born on September 13th of that year, and that baby was the highlight of our lives. She had filled that gap Renee had been so desperate to bridge, and she'd given us a new chance at successful parenthood. Alice and Emmett had been overjoyed about the new addition- Renee had gotten Emmett to practice being "gentle" with one of Alice's baby dolls, and my usually rough and abrasive son had learned, in his own two year old way, that babies were fragile.

Things had been looking up after Bella was born, and I'd been overcome with happiness to see my eldest children bonding with their mother, and the new baby doing thriving under her care. She showed no signs of depression this time around and even Alice, who'd been very leery of her mother, began to warm up to her. Alice, though wary of Renee, loved the baby, and had learned that if she wanted to be near the baby, she had to tolerate Renee as well.

Bella had grown from a baby to a toddler, and my family had been the picture of perfection. We'd had three years of happy memories and laughter before Renee had administered the final, fatal blow.

A few weeks after Bella's third birthday, after the kids were in bed, she'd come to me with her sudden change of heart. Without listening to my reasoning and pleading, she'd left in her taxi, leaving me alone with our three children and my full time job. The next morning had been hell, knowing that my life had done a complete 180 in a single night… I had to rethink my job, care for three small children, find a way to make up for her lost income, and I had to deal with the seemingly permanent loss of my wife.

I'd loved Renee, and having her leave me nearly sent me over the edge completely. Only the idea of my children had kept me from the bottle, and to this day, I cringed to think of what I would have become if my family hadn't depended so completely on me.

Those kids had saved me from a life of drunken stupor.

Renee, it turned out, had run off with some California surfer she'd met online, and once her run with him was over, she settled in Phoenix, Arizona, as a kindergarten teacher.

I always found it ironic that Renee was working with such young kids, all the while knowing she had three of her own back in Forks that she'd basically abandoned.

The first few months were the hardest on both me and my family, especially Bella, who had grown up with her mother completely devoted and interested in her life. To Alice and Emmett, it was a simple matter of reverting back to the old ways, but for Bella, it was a nasty shock that often resulted in temper tantrums. My little five year old daughter had been the one to step up, playing mommy to Bella even at a young age. Alice had always been maternal…

Looking at Bella now, I could remember with precision the exact moment we'd discovered her cancer. She'd fallen down once or twice and had a few lasting bruises, but the one on her back had alarmed me, and thinking that she had some sort of internal bleed, I'd brought her to the clinic. The doctor there had drawn blood from my screaming four year old, and a week later, he'd come to the conclusion that she had leukemia.

Seeing my four year old child suffering through three rounds of chemotherapy wasn't the best time in my life, especially considering I had a difficult, oblivious son, and an overly perceptive daughter in the room. Emmett had whined and complained about boring hospitals, while little Alice had gone silent in contemplation, her mind running in overdrive as she came to her own conclusions about the cancer's seriousness.

Bella had lost her hair in that ordeal, and that was the breaking point for both my girls who'd panicked over its absence. In secret, I'd cried as well, knowing that my baby had a dangerous disease. Neither of my girls knew that- I doubted my son did either- and I had no plans to let them know anytime soon.

After her first remission, she'd been a happy, relatively normal kid until the age of nine, when she'd relapsed again. The first time around, Renee had flown between Seattle and Phoenix as often as she could, since her job as a realtor had kept her from staying with for long periods. The second time, however, Renee had opted to remain in Phoenix instead of flying down to Seattle, since her new friend was getting married a few weeks later.

That had been the time when Alice had completely severed all relations with her mother, and as sad as it was, I didn't blame her. Bella had a rough run that time around, and Renee should have been there for her daughter, not gallivanting off to dress shops in Arizona. Alice, though only eleven, had declared to Renee over the phone that she hated her, and that she hoped never to see her again. It saddened me, but who was I to stop her from speaking her mind?

Those weeks in Seattle had been some of the scariest in my life. Bella had always been on the small side, but seeing her cooped up in a bed, ridden with cancer and suffering through chemotherapy made her seem even smaller and frailer than usual. She'd contracted a virus while in the hospital and after talk of a bone marrow transplant, the doctors had decided that it wasn't worth the risk in her then-current state. The virus had attacked her kidneys to the point of talking of a _kidney _transplant, but luckily, her little body was able to fight it off, and after two weeks of dialysis, she was allowed to go home, her kidneys healthy and her marrow cancer free.

I worried about her, as any father would. School had been forgone in favour of private tutors at home, and up until she turned fifteen, that's how things had went. Her hair had grown to the middle of her back, she had colour in her cheeks and she was developing like any other normal teenage girl.

I'd thought we were out of the woods, but when the bruising had come back and she'd started to relapse, I did the only thing I could think of.

I packed her up and shipped her to the Mayo Clinic Cancer Centre in Jacksonville, where Renee was living with her new husband- Phil. They had some of the best treatment options and doctors in the country, and despite the fact that the medical bills were through the roof, I kept her there.

She'd undergone three different clinical trials before they'd simply returned her to chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She'd lost her hair and her fertility thanks to the treatments, but she was alive, and that's what mattered. Alice, Emmett and I had talked to her daily, but when summer break had come around, I'd flown the three of us down for three weeks, after the doctor had told us that they'd decided to do a bone marrow transplant. The three of us and plus Renee had been tested, even though the doctor had informed us that only siblings were a likely match. Emmett, Renee and I were only a three out of six match, but Alice was a four, and it was better than what the donor registry had turned up. With Alice's willing consent, the doctors had extracted marrow from her hip bone and transferred it to Bella's sick, frail body.

Six weeks later, we learned that the bone marrow was being rejected, and to avoid having graft versus host disease kill her, they decided to kill Alice's donated marrow and return some of Bella's old marrow instead, knowing that her body would accept it.

When she'd recovered, the doctors had informed us with saddened eyes that there was nothing more to be done, and that the best we could do was to go home and let her live the rest of her life as she saw fit.

They'd given her six months, and were were already almost one month down.

Her breathing was slow and steady as she rested on the couch, deeply asleep and very bruised thanks to a low platelet count. I felt myself growing teary as I was drawn back to the old memories of Barbies and pigtails, but angrily forced them back in favour of the Mariner's game on television.

As crude as he was, Emmett was right- there was nothing to cry about yet. Bella was alive and as healthy as could be expected, and crying would only stress her more than she already was.

Even if the tears were gone for now, I still felt the impending sense of doom, knowing that we were all entering Bella's final months.

My baby was leaving us, and the most I could do was give her the all that I could in place of the real life she deserved.


	7. Chapter 7

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 7**

APOV

I was a livid, tearful mess all through the rest of the school day, and not even kisses and affection from Jasper could ease the emotion that was threatening to overcome me.

"Ali, what's the matter?" he asked for the hundredth time as we walked down the road together towards his house, where I'd been invited over for dinner.

"Your brother's what's the matter," I said passionately. Jasper cracked a wry smile, sighing.

"Cousin, technically."

"Whatever the hell he is then," I snapped impatiently. "This isn't a joke."

"Ali, he knocked her down. Yes, he's a prick, but I think you're overreacting-" he tried, making my temper flare.

"You didn't see the bruise!" I cried indignantly. "That had to have hurt, and he didn't even have the decency to apologize or help her up afterwards."

"He's an ass," said Jasper simply. "He always has been a little arrogant…"

"This is just plain meanness," I said softly, sniffling.

"Christ Alice, don't cry," said Jasper, obviously seeing through my hardened mask. "She has a bruise… it'll go away."

"Maybe," I countered.

"Maybe?" he asked, confused.

"It's terminal," I blurted loudly, earning me a momentary stare of shock before he composed himself and fell silent.

"How long?" he asked tentatively, looking a little wary of my reaction. I cleared my throat and forced back the impending tears.

"Six months, maybe five, now," I said softly. "Not long."

"I'm sorry," he said honestly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"I don't want assholes like Edward ruining the time she has left," I said honestly. "I might be a little overbearing, but as much as she denies it, she's fragile."

"I know," he said softly. "I'll get him to apologize, if it'll help."

"Good luck," I scoffed. "Your cousin doesn't apologize for anything."

"He will this time. When Esme hears this one…" he said darkly. "She'll have a cow."

"Don't tell on him," I pleaded, turning to face him with wide, regretful eyes. "I just want him as pleasant as possible these next few months, and getting in shit because he knocked her down will just make him angrier."

"Edward will probably tell aunt Esme himself," he said honestly. "He's always been a mama's boy-"

"Fine," I said grudgingly, not wanting to hear of Edward's happy relationship with his loving, very much involved mother.

"Here we are," said Jasper, turning down the driveway that led to his large, supposedly 'haunted' house. Although it had been empty for years prior to the Cullens' arrival, it was truly a wonderful, warm living space now that Esme had gotten her hands on it. There were warm lights illuminating the windows, and a fresh coat of paint on every surface imaginable.

"Hello dears," said Esme kindly as we came inside. I smiled at the kindly, gentle woman as she turned to us, her own coppery hair glinting in the soft glow of the lights.

"Dinner's at five," she told us, glancing over at the clock.

Three thirty.

"Thanks Esme," I said easily as Jasper nodded politely. Esme walked off quickly, obviously ready to start the preparations for her dinner.

The door opened behind us and I got a whiff of tobacco before Edward Cullen pushed past us, looking thoroughly displeased.

"Edward," said Jasper sternly, making his younger brother turn towards us, sighing.

"What?" he said shortly.

"Don't be so damn rude," reprimanded Jasper. "Can't you at least try and be nice to people?"

"No. What do you want?" he asked, looking at me quickly. I stared at the floor, resisting the urge to smack him silly.

"You're going to apologize to Bella tomorrow," he said sternly, making me smile gently.

I loved Jasper.

"Am I?" asked Edward, amused as he glanced at me.

My smile disappeared.

"Yes, you are," I said sternly. Esme poked her head out of the kitchen with a frown, knowing that her cantankerous son had once again wreaked havoc on someone's life.

"I don't think I am," he said firmly, making me scowl.

"You won't be the one to ruin what time she's got left," I growled shakily. "If that's how you're going to act, then fine, but don't expect any one of us to come over here again." His face fell before he closed himself off with an icy mask of indifference.

"Edward, what did you do?" asked Esme, walking forward. Edward's jaw clenched and he sighed heavily before he turned to his mother with hostile eyes.

"I knocked down her sister in the hallway, and now Alice is having a fit," he said indifferently. "It wasn't my fault."

"It wasn't hers, either," I snapped. "She's got a black bruise all down her front and I'm sure some are growing on her back. You _will _apologize."

"Edward…" said Esme, her soft voice disappointed. "You knocked Bella down?"

"Fuck, mom!" complained Edward, making Esme's eyes flash.

"Watch your mouth, Edward," he snapped sternly. I could see him itching to roll his eyes, but an angry Esme was something none of us wanted to see.

"I didn't _knock her down,"_ he said scathingly. "She ran right into me without even looking. Most people watch out for passing students in the hallway before they motor on down to their history class."

"It was her first day," I said exasperatedly, ignoring Jasper's comforting hand on my shoulder. "She was probably nervous about all the whispers and stares- she hates attention- and we all know how the student body of Forks high will gossip!"

Edward stared at me for a long moment.

"If I say sorry, will you shut up about it?" he asked rudely, earning a gasp from Esme.

"Edward Anthony!" she cried indignantly. "You will not speak to _anyone, _much less a guest in our home, in such a way again. Am I clear?"

Edward smirked and nodded.

"Alice is _hardly_ a guest," he said nastily, making Esme sigh as she shook her head and walked towards her kitchen- her comfort zone.

It was a strange, convoluted sort of compliment from the reclusive, rude Edward Cullen, and although it sent mixed signals, I took it in the best way.

"Thank you," I said earnestly, making him nod as he turned and stalked away- probably to listen to Beethoven or whatever he did after school finished.

He was a strange boy.

"Sorry about him," said Jasper softly. "You know he has no say in who I bring home…" he said worriedly, obviously concerned that Edward's scathing comment had offended me.

"I know," I replied. "He's coming around." Jasper laughed at that, and I sighed at my own wishful thinking.

"Believe what you want," he said. "Sometimes, I think he even resents Rosalie and I for intruding on his happy little family."

"He does not," I said firmly, turning to face him. "He might not be all sunshine and rainbows, but I know he loves you."

"He doesn't love Rosalie," he said simply. I sighed.

"He does," I said firmly. "He just doesn't show it."

"You won't be so optimistic when you see how little he'll change towards you," said Jasper ominously.

"Let's go help Esme in the kitchen," I said quickly, changing the subject away from Jasper's difficult brother. We walked through the large, open house and found Esme chopping carrots at her island counter.

"Hello," she said cheerfully, the sting of her son's attitude obviously gone from her system.

Esme could never stay truly angry for very long, even with her difficult child.

"Can we help?" asked Jasper, smiling as Esme nodded.

"You can mash the potatoes, and Alice can help me with these veggies," she said amicably. Jasper nodded silently and took the potato masher, moving towards the pot of steaming potatoes while I took up a small knife to help Esme dice up her side dish.

"How have things been?" she asked me softly, making me smile.

"Pretty good," I said honestly. "Bella came back ten days ago, and she's adapted well."

"That's good," she said passively. "How's Charlie doing?" I grinned.

"The Mariner's game's on tonight, and I know he'll be all over it."

"You have to bring your sister over for dinner sometime soon," she said kindly. "Even if Edward is a little cold towards her."

"I'm sure she'd be happy to come."

"Is she doing well, so far?" she asked concernedly, looking sympathetic and sad.

"Pretty well," I admitted. "Healthy as can be expected… she fought dad to let her go to school."

Esme smiled.

"She and dad are so much alike, it's uncanny," I added, shaking my head. "They're both quiet and careful, but stubborn as mules, and the two of them both wanting different things is always a battle."

"She sounds like a very fine young lady, decreed Esme, earning a smile from Jasper as he mashed.

"What about you, Jasper?" she asked. "You've met her."

Esme was dying of curiosity when it came to my mysterious sister, and I grinned, listening in to Jasper's impressions of Bella.

"She's very nice," said Jasper honourably. "Shy, though."

"I love her to pieces, but she and I are very different," I said.

"I can tell," said Esme fondly, smiling to herself as she cut up the last of her carrots. Jasper finished mashing and I finished with my broccoli as Jasper transferred the large pot full of potatoes to Esme's decorative bowl, poking a large spoon into the steaming heap.

"There." He said proudly. Neither Jasper or my twin brother were very good in the kitchen, so every culinary success, no matter how small, was a major one for the two of them. "Do you want me to take it to the table?" he asked.

"Yes please, dear," she said softly. "And if you could take the roast as well, that would be great."

"Sure thing." Said Jasper contentedly, taking first the mashed potatoes, then coming back for the aromatic meat from the oven. Esme plopped our vegetables into her steamer, and within minutes, they were steamed to perfection and placed in their own separate bowl for the table.

"I'll set the table and when Carlisle gets in, we'll eat. I'll let you know," she said happily, grabbing a stack of silverware and china plates for the dining room table. Jasper entwined his hand with my own, and sighing happily, I let him lead me into the living room, where we found Rosalie.

"Hi."

"You're brother's like a puppy," she said smugly, turning towards me. Jasper cleared his throat and excused himself quickly, knowing better than anyone how much Emmett wanted Rosalie to give him a chance.

"I know," I said conspicuously. "He's crazy over you."

"It's cute," she admitted, laughing a bit. "I've been tugging his chain forever…"

"You should give him a chance," I said earnestly. "He's an idiot, I'll give you that, but he can be sweet when he wants to be."

"Emmett Swan is far from sweet," she said dryly. "He's an oaf… a cute one, though."

"He's an oaf towards _me." _I corrected.

"Is he good with kids?" she asked suddenly turning towards me with penetrating, calculating eyes.

"Yeah," I said honestly. "He was always good with Bella, even when he was a little hellion. Dad thought he was going to be a holy terror with a new baby, but he was really gentle."

"Good," said Rose, pleased. "Is he _capable _of being sensitive?"

"Of course he is," I said, scandalized. "He's obviously feeling something for you."

She looked calculating for a moment before she sighed, glancing at me firmly.

"Tell him that if he wants, he can ask me to dinner this Friday," she said, her voice all business. "He can decide time and place, but you'll need to let me know what I should be wearing."

I smiled hugely and sighed happily.

"Thank you!" I said, making her frown in confusion. "He hasn't shut up about you for eight months."

Rosalie's cheeks turned a dusty pink, and I grinned wildly, knowing better than anyone how hard it was to get her to blush.

"Well, you're welcome then," she said indifferently, just as Esme peeked in.

"Carlisle's here, and we'll be eating as soon as he changes out of his scrubs," she said softly, bowing out gracefully as Rosalie and I got to our feet.

We met doctor Cullen in the hallway, looking tired from his long dayshift at the hospital.

"Hello, girls," he said kindly, making me smile.

"Hi Dr. Cullen."

"Hey Uncle."

"Alice, you don't have to keep calling me doctor Cullen," he said softly, looking slightly awkward.

"I know."

"If you say so," he said, laughing as he went into the dining room, shaking his head.

"Hello dear," he said to Esme, making her smile as he kissed her cheek and sat down at the table. "Looks good."

And with those words, everyone began to scoop out helpings of food. Edward, always the awkward one, waited until all the girls had served themselves before he took any, and I was slightly baffled by his strange courtesy.

How could someone so rude have such good, old fashioned table manners? I scooped out my own food before Jasper did, and he smiled gently at me as we began to eat.

"How was school?" asked Carlisle meditatively, taking a bite of potato as he glanced between his children and myself.

"Fine," said Rosalie curtly, making him frown slightly as he turned to the rest of us for confirmation.

Esme's pointed glance directed the attention towards Edward, who looked genuinely sheepish.

Edward may have been a mama's boy, but we all knew that he idolized and respected his father.

"What happened this time?" he asked tiredly, making Edward sigh.

"I'll apologize tomorrow," he said firmly, making Carlisle falter slightly before he composed himself.

"For what?" he asked carefully.

"He knocked Bella down today," said Jasper passively. "She's bruised."

"Is she okay?" he asked, looking at me closely. "Leukemia patients are rather sensitive..."

"Not dinnertime conversation," said Esme suddenly, making Carlisle smile as he put the medical talk away, knowing that Esme preferred pleasant conversation at the table.

"She's fine," I said quickly, earning a nod from Carlisle, who turned back to his wife.

"Edward will apologize tomorrow. It was a mistake," said Esme confidently. "How was _your_ day?"

"Good," said Carlisle, starting in on a funny story involving teenagers, babies and plastic fire trucks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 8**

**A/N: Here's some more Edward for all of you... it's a shorter chapter than usual (but besides the epilogue, it's the shortest chapter in the whole story).**

**Please leave a review!**

EPOV

Dinner was fucking awkward for me as I sat there and forced down food, all the while under the scrutinizing eye of my father.

Dad could see through my lies and deceit, and I knew he was itching to know why I'd agreed to apologize to Isabella Swan.

I didn't know her, I'd barely spoken to her, yet I felt bad for being such a dick to her earlier today. As much as I was certain that she didn't want her disease to define her, it sure as fuck did when she stared at you with those wide, doe eyes in the hallway after you'd sent her and her books flying and snapped at her for her lack of coordination. The shock and hurt I'd seen in her face was enough to make me apologize on my own, and seeing the angry, teary little pixie only made things even more certain.

As much as his sister pissed me off, I respected Jasper for who he was and how he dealt with things. He was a nice guy when it came right down to it, and although he wasn't very vocal or reactive, I damn well knew when he was upset…

And Alice's hurt was his hurt, as far as he was concerned.

Dad had watched me all through dinner without fail, all the while looking as calculating and wondering as a prestigious doctor could look. His hair- so similar to my own- had glinted eerily under the soft lights of our dining room, and it added a sort of aura to his already frighteningly calm persona.

Dad was a great guy, but there was something about him that freaked me out sometimes. He knew things he shouldn't have known and he almost never got angry at anyone, even me- his fuck up kid.

Dad's disappointment spoke volumes, and nothing was worse than that.

And he was fucking disappointed as hell when he'd found out what I'd done to some strange, sick, dying girl in the hallway of our school. I knew by his tone of voice when he asked after her health, and my belief was further confirmed with the small frown he'd glued to his face every time mom and Alice looked away.

I would apologize to Isabella Swan tomorrow, and I hoped she'd forgive me for being an ass.

It wasn't personal.

Sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling was the least exciting thing I could find to do in this massive house, since mom had banned me from my piano and dad was undoubtedly lurking around the small library we had down the hall. Dad was a bookworm, and a bit of his obsession had rubbed off on me at a young age. I loved dad's medical books, but if I went in there to find them, I knew he'd try and "talk it out", knowing that there had to have been some reason I'd snapped at the youngest Swan girl.

I wouldn't let him know that I'd been drunk as fuck last night, and this morning, I'd been suffering from the hangover from hell.

It would only disappoint him further, and I'd get a lesson on the detrimental effects of teen drinking.

I knew it was wrong, but it was fun, so I did it anyways…

There was a soft knocking on my door and just as I glanced over, Jasper poked his blonde, shaggy head in.

"Hey man." I said passively, giving him my silent permission to enter. He came in quietly and closed the door behind him, clicking the lock into place as he sat down on my couch, looking contemplative.

"Hey." He said gruffly, watching me curiously. I stared interestedly at the bubbly mounds on my ceiling.

"What are you staring at?" he asked suddenly, glancing up to see what was so fascinating.

"Popcorn ceiling." I noted with a shrug, earning me a small, wary nod.

"Edward, man…" he started, making me frown as I glanced over. He sighed heavily, looking very much like my father for a moment, before he collected himself.

Jasper was dad's older brother, James', son and although Uncle James had been somewhat of a recluse, he and dad could have passed for twins, if Uncle James had learned to cut his hair. Jasper was the splitting image of both his father and uncle, and it spooked me to watch him sometimes.

Rosalie, on the other hand, had inherited her mother's showy looks, along with her father's blonde hair and blue eyes. Her mother had been a lingerie model before Uncle James had married her, and although the two of them had only lived with their parents for six years, Rosalie had inherited all of Aunt Victoria's arrogance.

I'd disliked my aunt up until the day she died, and I always wondered what had possessed Uncle James to marry her. It had pissed me off even more to know that my uncle had changed his last name to 'Hale' instead of Victoria changing her own name, since her name was crucial to her reputation, and she wouldn't dare ruin her precious reputation.

"What?" I asked warily, making him sigh as he looked up at me.

"Are you seriously going to apologize to Bella tomorrow?" he asked quickly, making my temper bubble slightly.

"I said I fucking would, didn't I?" I asked angrily. Jasper sighed and sat back.

"You say a lot of things that I know you don't mean." He said softly, making my cheeks colour as I glanced back up at the popcorn ceiling.

"I'll say sorry, okay?" I said impatiently.

"I need to know for sure, since Alice is expecting it." He said.

"Alice." I repeated angrily, making him sigh.

"Why do you hate her so much?" he asked sadly.

"I don't hate her."

"You've got a funny way of showing it." He snapped, sitting up straight.

Jasper was a fucking big guy when he wanted to be.

"She's irritating." I said honestly. He scowled.

"She is not." He defended valiantly.

"She fucking bounces around like she's on crack." I said harshly. "I don't hate her, I'm just not used to her fucking attitude."

"_Her _attitude?" he said darkly. "I'd take a look in the mirror sometime soon, if I were you."

"I know I'm an ass, okay?" I said bluntly, sitting up as well. "You asked a question, and I answered it."

"She's been nothing but kind to you." He said lowly.

Here was the main difference between Jasper and my father- Jasper could get angry.

Uncle James could get angry as well, if memory served me correctly.

"And I _try _not to be rude to her." I said simply.

"You need to try harder." He said. "She isn't going anywhere."

"I know."

"No, I'm not sure you do." He said. "Aunt Esme looks past your attitude, but I won't stand for you insulting my girlfriend."

"I don't insult her." I scoffed. He stared.

"Are you blind?" He demanded, exasperated.

I stared.

"You ignored every comment she's ever made about her sister, and then you went and knocked her down."

"It was a mistake!" I said, irritated.

"I know it was, but seriously, man. You couldn't have helped her up?" he asked.

"She can't walk?" I countered angrily. "And I'm sorry if I don't hang on to Alice's every word like it's the gospel." I spat.

"You're unbelievable." Said Jasper angrily, running a hand through his hair.

Cullen trait.

"It was an accident, Edward, but you could have been decently polite to her!" he shouted, making me sigh.

"I know, and I'm apologizing tomorrow." I repeated for what felt like the millionth time.

"You need an attitude adjustment." He declared resentfully, making me smirk.

"Alright, dad." I said sarcastically.

"Goodnight, Edward." He said in annoyance, standing from his place on my sofa.

"Bye." I said harshly, earning me an small sigh as he stepped out.

That's what I loved about Jasper and I- we could fight and argue, but at the end of it all, we were able to simply let it go.

Jasper let my door click shut again and his footsteps moved towards the stairs, before I heard him moving down the hallway to shut himself up in his own room, no doubt ready to call and confirm my apology plans with Alice.

_Alice._

Maybe I didn't treat her as well as I should have…

Well, there was goal number two.

Number one: apologize to Isabella.

Number two: be a little nicer to the pixie.

That was two more goals than I'd had at the beginning of the day, and I felt a strange surge of pride over having even taken some initiative.

Jasper, although biologically my paternal cousin, was, in essence, everything a brother should have been. He'd been with us since I was four years old, and even before then, Uncle James would often bring his kids over to see us, and I'd grown up with him. He'd been my mentor and friend all through my childhood, and he was one of the only ones who'd stood by when my awkward teenage phase had set in, and I'd gone from an ignorant know-it-all to a little shithead.

I was still a little shithead, and no matter how many times I tried to convince myself otherwise, I always arrived at the same conclusion.

Mom was proud of me, no matter what sort of fucked up shit I pulled, since she knew that I was smart and got along well in school. I wasn't into street drugs and I never snuck girls into my room- though that wasn't to say I didn't have a long string of them _outside_ of my room- and she as an optimist: she wanted to see the good in everyone and everything.

Girls were a focal point for my mother's worries- she knew that I was sexually active, thanks to dad's little life lesson a few years back, but she had no idea how many girls pined after me.

Maybe it made me arrogant, I didn't know, but I had about seven girls at my beck and call, all ready to drop their pants at a moment's notice.

It was disgusting, really. Lauren Mallory, Jessica Stanley, Sadie Jenkins, Leanne Morris, Julia Crowley, Anna Newton and Kelsey Hopkins were always after me and my goods, no matter what I did.

And as sad as it was, all but Sadie and Julia had had their time with me, either in the janitor's closet or in the backseat of my Volvo.

Good thing Rosalie didn't know that the seat she sat in every morning had been christened by three other girls…

I laughed every time I thought about it.

Lauren was the current bimbo, as I liked to call her, and just last week we'd had a romp in the locker room after school hours.

Goal number three: stop having sex with strange girls.

I smirked to myself, silently gloating over my three, self-appointed goals.

Goal number four: stop smoking.

As soon as that popped into my head, I laughed out loud, shaking my head.

_That _was pushing it.

**A/N: There you have it... I hope you enjoyed some Edward!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 9**

**A/N: Disappointing response for the last chapter... only sixteen reviews! It's been up past 30 for almost every other one, and now that?**

**You all know how to review... please leave some feedback.**

BPOV

When I woke up the next morning for my second day of school, every bone in my body was throbbing and the bruise I'd gained yesterday was smarting angrily.

Great.

I managed to manoeuvre myself out of my comfortable bed and towards my bottle of pain pills, left on my nightstand with a glass of water courtesy of dad, who'd probably been the one to carry me upstairs after I'd fallen asleep. I knew damn well that there was no way I was getting up the stairs alone yesterday, feeling like an old woman with a bad case of arthritis in every joint, but dad seemed limber enough.

I downed the pill with a mouthful of stagnant water before I sat back down and waited for the pill to kick in, knowing I would be tired as hell today.

I felt the familiar tingly feeling in my toes and the fuzziness in my head, and I knew that the pill was working. I stood up with ease and traipsed over to my closet in a sort of haphazard daze, grabbing one of the high-necked sweaters and a pair of dark wash jeans. The shirt covered most of the bruise, leaving only a small section of my chest and neck exposed, where the top of the mark poked out.

It would have to do, for now.

I shook my head as I chose my head wrap for the day, tying it on properly before I moved towards my door, going downstairs. The upstairs hallway was empty and for that, I was grateful, knowing that if dad saw me so loopy and dazed, he'd send me straight back to bed.

At least downstairs, I had a chance to fight him on it.

"Let her sleep." Said dad's soft morning voice from downstairs, earning him a sigh from my sister.

"I think she'll want to go." Said Alice dubiously.

"I know she will." Agreed dad. "But she's not. Have you seen that mark?"

He was getting angry.

Alice elicited no response and fell silent amidst the clattering of bowls and spoons.

I _was _going to school, whether dad liked it or not.

"Bella?"

I whipped around, seeing my smirking, slightly incredulous brother watching me curiously.

"Hi." I said quickly, earning me a small chuckle.

"Dad's going to have a coronary." He warned.

"I doubt it." I said dryly. "He carried me to bed last night."

Emmett laughed even harder.

"No, I did that." He corrected, making me blush.

"Thanks." I stammered, earning me a grin.

"No problem. You don't weigh much anyways."

"Bella?" asked dad warily, glancing at me carefully from the kitchen.

"Morning, dad." I said in as clear a voice as I could manage.

"What are you doing up?" he asked gently, getting to his feet. I simply shot him a confused glance before I went to the cupboard and grabbed my cereal, pouring it out.

"I have school." I said matter of factly.

"No, I don't think you do." He corrected. "You should rest."

"I should learn."

"Bella, don't be difficult." He said softly.

"I'm going." I said quickly, shovelling my food down at a pace that could rival Emmett's.

"Be careful." He said resignedly, glancing back down at his morning paper with a sigh.

I almost felt bad for letting dad worry, but I knew he'd get over it eventually.

"I will be." I assured, just as Alice shot me a proud, happy smile before she skipped off to Emmett's Jeep, starting it up.

"We'll be late." Warned Emmett quickly, moving out as well, leaving me to follow.

Dad was right behind me as I moved to the door and slid on my favourite old sneakers, admiring the comfortable fit.

"I love these shoes." I mused happily, wiggling my toes.

"Have a good day." He said, reaching out for a hug. I obliged, and soon enough he let me go, allowing me to join Alice and Emmett in the Jeep.

"Bye dad." I said softly.

"Bye Bell."

As soon as my door was closed, Emmett stepped on the gas, bringing us towards the school.

"Did you take a pill this morning?" asked Alice carefully, examining my face.

"Yeah." I admitted, making her sigh.

"You can tell."

"Am I whacked out?" I asked worriedly, earning me a laugh from Emmett.

"Just don't answer any questions." He advised. "The teachers should leave you alone…"

"Mhm." I agreed, sitting back against the seat with a small sigh.

We arrived at the school much sooner than I'd have liked, and thanks to the Jeep's steady rumble, I was feeling sort of sleepy.

"Come on, B." said Emmett softly as Alice climbed out of the Jeep on the opposite side. Emmett had my door open and his hand out to help me down before I could so much as blink, and I accepted his hand gratefully.

Emmett's hands were large and warm- something comforting to me. He didn't often hold my hand, but when he did, I knew he was extra cautious with my small, chilled extremity. His hand completely engulfed my own as he helped me down from my seat, taking my bag for me as he continued to hold onto me, doing what Alice would have normally done.

"There's Rose and Jasper." She said suddenly, pointing over towards the silver Volvo, where the tall blonde twins were waiting. Emmett smiled at the excuse to see Rosalie, still holding my hand, and I gave it a little squeeze of encouragement. Alice noticed as well and smiled to herself, smiling even wider in Jasper's direction as we approached.

"Good morning." Said Rosalie as Alice approached, moving towards her boyfriend instead. They embraced and shared a chaste kiss before Rosalie frowned in my direction, making me squirm. She looked a little hesitant before she glanced up at Emmett questioningly.

"Are you okay?" she asked me softly, glancing down towards my chest. The question took a moment to fully process, but once I did, I blushed, nodding.

"Fine." I said airily, my voice sounding foreign and detached. Emmett smiled and tugged me closer.

"A little loopy." He confessed quietly, earning him a confused glance from Rosalie. "She took some medication this morning for it."

Rosalie smiled a bit before she nodded and turned a light shade of pink, making Emmett's grip tighten on my hand.

Poor Emmett.

"I'm going to bring Bella to her locker, if you want to walk with us." Said Emmett suddenly, watching the blonde supermodel closely.

I stifled a grin at his forwardness, but Rosalie, obviously enjoyed it, since she nodded curtly and followed alongside us, letting Emmett lead the way.

"Come on, B." he said coaxingly.

I followed like a puppy dog, and he seemed quite amused by it.

"Alice said you guys played a new racing game after supper last night… was it fun?" asked Emmett, breaking the silence as we approached the front entrance.

"It was alright." Agreed Rosalie warily, keeping her eyes glued on the floor.

I sensed some unresolved tension between my brother and this Aphrodite avatar.

"Rosalie?"

"Yes, Emmett?" she asked tersely, stiffening slightly.

"Alice told me I could ask you to dinner this Friday." He said sheepishly.

Rosalie fell silent, her cheeks colouring once more.

"Are you asking?" she asked hesitantly.

"Do you want to go?" asked Emmett bluntly, making her smile.

"Yes."

"Then, yes, I'm asking." He said simply. "Will you come to dinner this Friday with me in Port Angeles?" he asked formally.

I grinned as Rosalie nodded.

"Sounds good." She said lightly. "What time?"

Emmett looked a little stunned.

"Seven?"

"I'll be waiting. Tell Alice where we're going so I can dress properly." She instructed, making my brother nod.

"Right."

"This is my locker." I said softly, stopping in front of the locker I'd been given the day before. Rosalie stopped, a goofy grin on her face as Emmett watched her openly, looking happy.

"I'll leave you ladies to it, then." He decided, giving me a small hug before he walked off towards the second floor, where the senior lockers were.

Rosalie said nothing as I opened it up, grabbing my textbooks and binders.

"He _is _sweet." She said abruptly, making me colour slightly as I turned to her.

"He can be." I assented carefully, earning her grin.

"You should come to dinner sometime too." She said suddenly. "Aunt Esme's been so excited about you coming back."

"Why?" I asked confusedly, making Rosalie smile.

"She's different like that. She's always been overly caring about everyone…"

She halted, looking mortified as her face flushed again.

"Not that she_ shouldn't_ care about you…" she stammered quickly.

I tried not to laugh.

"It's fine. I know what you mean." I said breezily, making her nod.

"Good." She said. "I don't want to be rude."

"You're not."

She snorted, making me smile.

I'd heard from Alice that Rosalie could be abrasive, but so far, so good.

"You have Varner first, right?" she asked quietly, glancing down towards room 104.

"Yeah, you?" I asked softly.

"Biology." She said distastefully. "Banner's not bad, but I hate the class."

I'd always hated sciences as well, knowing too well how it related to my own life. I'd learned early on that my DNA was mutated to form cancer cells…

I hated DNA.

"I'd better get going." I said softly. "The teacher's there."

As soon as my sentence was finished, the bell rang, and Rosalie offered me a small, pleasant smile before she walked off towards the stairs Emmett had ascended mere minutes before.

"Bye." She said quickly, disappearing up the busy staircase along with the other students who had first period on the upper level.

I moved to English as quickly as I could, knowing that if someone knocked me down again, I wouldn't be getting back up on my own.

I slid into the room and took my seat in the front corner, smiling secretly at my small success- I'd gotten to class without hurting myself or anyone else around me.

The classroom door was closed with a sharp _click, _and I turned to face the front, ready to focus on my class as best I could

ooOoo

My shortened day seemed even shorter that day under the influence of my little white pain pill from this morning. The classes blew by in a breeze, and although I barely absorbed anything the teachers had to say, simply because the _sound_ of one constant voice reading from a textbook was soothing to me. It made me sleepy again, just as I'd felt in Emmett's Jeep when the soft rumbling had lulled me into a haze.

When the bell rang for lunch, and my dismissal time, I was rudely jolted from my reveries by the loud, shrill buzzing. I felt oddly jumpy and startled afterwards and after receiving a sympathetic glance from the history teacher and collecting my belongings, I made my way to my locker, where I was certain Alice would be waiting, eager to tell me the tidbits of her day.

What I was not expecting, was Edward Cullen, leaning suavely against the metal door of my locker, looking oddly out of place.

I froze mid step, almost getting myself knocked over for a second time by a rather skinny little freshman as Edward Cullen's mossy eyes met my own, looking as far from angry as he could possibly be.

He looked sorry.

I stood stupidly in the middle of the hallway as he watched me with his piercing eyes, just waiting for me to approach.

"Are you okay?" asked a kind, soft voice from behind me, making me turn around.

A kind girl I recognized from around town was watching me- Angela, I believed.

"Yeah, thanks." I said, shaking my head slightly as she followed my gaze.

"Looks like Edward wants to talk to you." She noted innocently, smiling as she patted my shoulder, walking towards the school cafeteria.

Edward wanted to speak to me.

Slowly, as if even more inebriated than I really was, I moved towards my locker, seeing him step aside as I reached for the lock.

What should I say to him?

"Hello."

I blushed crimson at his one spoken word, and he chuckled.

"I'm Edward Cullen."

_Yes, I know who you are._

"Hi." I squeaked out, shoving my books in my locker and taking out my schoolbag. I had English homework, so I shoved my books inside the bag as quickly as I could and zipped it shut, slamming my locker door.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, leaning in closer as his brow furrowed.

"I'm fine." I said awkwardly, making him sigh.

"No you're not." He said in frustration as I tried to hoist the bag on my shoulder, only to drop it, wincing.

"I'm sorry." He said earnestly, making me stare in shock.

He was sorry? _He _was the one who'd been so unreasonably angry at me for falling…

"I know it's no excuse, but I had a wicked headache, and I was very, _very_ hungover." He said softly, reaching down and lifting my bag easily. He carried it on his shoulder and allowed me to walk ahead of him before he followed me, rendering me speechless.

I didn't even know where we were going.

"Hungover?" I asked, making him sigh as he nodded.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"It's fine." I said quickly, earning me an incredulous glance.

"Your sister didn't seem to think it was." He said darkly. "She was ready to cut my fucking balls off yesterday."

He'd said _fucking._

It was strangely suiting to him and his rugged, leather jacket appearance, and it only made my cheeks flush once more.

"Are you blushing?" he asked, amused as I glared up at him.

"No." I said quickly, feeling my head become a little clearer.

He looked taken aback.

"Sorry." He said again, falling silent as he led me to the front doors, earning a great number of incredulous and curious stares along the way.

To my surprise, he opened the front door and held it for me, letting me out first.

"The steps are a bit icy." He warned. "Watch yourself."

True enough, there, on the concrete steps, was a layer of thin, slick ice that would have undoubtedly sent me sprawling to the ground if he hadn't warned me.

"Alice is a little overprotective." I said softly, remembering his comment. "She overreacts."

"She loves you." He said gruffly. I recognized the look on his face- one of annoyance- and I sighed.

"You don't like her." It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact.

He stared at me.

"She's…" he said hesitantly.

Why was I even talking to him?

"Excitable?" I finished, smiling.

"Exactly." He said happily. "Excitable. I'm just not used to it, that's all."

"She's sweet." I defended, earning me a smile.

"Well, you and Jasper both think so." He said indifferently. "Whatever, it doesn't really matter anyways."

His voice was gruff again.

"Sorry for knocking you down and acting like a prick." He said finally, taking in a great breath of air and sighing heavily.

"It's okay." I repeated, shaking my head with a small smile.

"I bruised you." He noted, thrusting his chin in the direction of my mark.

"You have a hard chest, and it doesn't take much to mark me." I said simply, blushing at my own words after I'd said them. He chuckled, shaking his head.

"You're not like your sister." He noted lightly. "You're shy." I cleared my throat awkwardly.

"A bit." I conceded. "I'm more like my dad than she is."

"Chief Swan." He said, amused. "He doesn't like me much…"

"He said he caught you smoking." I said with a grin.

"He caught me outside our driveway. He threatened to tell my mother." He said, amused.

"Did he?" I asked, intrigued.

"No." he admitted, sitting himself down on one of the dry logs that lined the edge of the small, wilted little garden that sometimes bloomed in the spring and summer. "Sit."

I sat down, feeling a strange sense of comfort around this strange, reclusive boy.

"So…" he started, glancing over with his curious eyes.

"So what?"

"Jacksonville?" he asked, making me frown.

"How'd you know?" I demanded, knowing for a fact that he'd had no idea who I was until presumably yesterday night, when Alice had posed some sort of threat to his manhood.

"After I found out who you were, I remembered Alice going on about Florida." He said. "She mentioned that your mother lived in Jacksonville." He said easily.

"Yeah, I was in Jacksonville." I admitted. "At the Mayo Clinic Cancer Center."

He said nothing, but simply nodded, shoving one hand in his pocket.

"Was it hot there?"

I giggled.

"It was Florida." I said pointedly. "It's always hot in Florida."

"Did you get to do much?" he asked quietly, turning to face me. He was almost a whole head taller than me, but for some reason, I didn't feel intimidated by him at all.

"Not really." I said. "I went to the clinic and hung out at my mom's house for some of the time, in between rounds."

"Rounds?" he asked, confused. I grinned.

"Isn't your dad a doctor?" I queried, earning me a shrug.

"I read his books. I don't ask him questions about it." He said nonchalantly.

"Chemotherapy." I clarified. "Each round took about two weeks, depending on the treatment."

He nodded silently, waiting for me to continue.

"I had the standard chemo I'd had in Seattle when I was a kid, and then I did a few drug trials that were new on the market." I explained, wondering how much he knew.

"Remission now?" he asked quickly, glancing over with curious, yet wary eyes.

I frowned.

"Not exactly." I admitted, making him frown. "The BMT didn't take, and there's not much more they could do." I murmured. He stared.

"Bone marrow transplant?" he clarified.

"Yeah, they killed mine and transplanted Alice's."

"I know how it works." He said, not unkindly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I said quickly, shaking my head. "It's done with now."

"You're fairly optimistic." He noted, looking amused.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I challenged, earning me a wry smile. "I have a right to be happy."

"I know." Was all he said.

Silence fell between us and he sighed heavily, glancing out towards the student parking lot we were facing.

"I'll see you around?" he asked quietly, standing from his spot on the log as I nodded quickly, standing next to him.

He stuck out his hand, and once I'd gotten over my momentary shock, I reached out and shook it gently.

"Bye, Bella." He said quietly, turning quickly and walking to his car.

"Bye." I whispered, just as the front door banged open and my sister shot out like a bullet.

"There you are!" she said, relieved as she looked me over. "I was waiting at your locker, but you never showed up!"

"Hi Alice." I said happily, significantly more sober than when I'd started class this morning.

"What are you doing outside?" she asked curiously, bringing me over to Emmett's Jeep.

"Talking." I admitted with flushing cheeks, making her frown.

"With who?"

"Edward." I said, making eyebrows twitch together.

"He'd better have been nice…" she said darkly, making me giggle.

"He was a perfect gentleman." I admitted, earning her frown.

"Edward was _gentlemanly?"_

"He carried my bag, said he was sorry, opened the door for me, and then talked with me for about five minutes before he went to his car." I admitted with a shrug.

Alice stared.

"That's great." She said in a happy voice. "I guess he came to his senses."

"I guess so." I admitted. "He's sort of interesting."

She frowned, turning to me quickly.

"Bella Marie." Said Alice sternly. "Don't you go getting involved with him." she warned.

"I don't want a boyfriend or anything." I said, annoyed as she nodded firmly. "He was really nice, that's all."

"Really nice?"

She seemed very surprised and almost disbelieving.

"Maybe I'll make a real friend after all." I said softly, smiling to myself as Alice pulled into dad's driveway, and I jumped out of the car, waving my thanks and goodbye to my stunned sister in the Jeep.

**A/N: So there we go... Rosalie and Emmett have a date and Edward apologized, all in one chapter.**

**And for the record, this story is also up on my website (link in profile... it's my "homepage" link) with photos pending.**

**Please leave me some reviews... it sort of sucks when you write something and no one leaves any opinions. No reviews are worse than bad reviews, in my opinion... at least it shows you _have _an opinion.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 10**

**A/N: Here we are with chapter 10... things (personal things) have been really stressful and rough lately, which is why updating was near the end of my priorities list... *sighs***

**A lot of people keep asking me if Bella will die.... I don't want to be overly blunt, but I've said in previous notes that it is a bittersweet ending.... there are no vampires and Carlisle is an _oncologist_, not a miracle worker. I want this as real as possible, not some far-fetched, strangely written piece of work.**

**Sorry to _Lynx, _one of my anonymous reviewers for the cussing.... Edward's a potty-mouth in this one (so is Emmett, for that matter), so for chapters in their POVs, there'll be swearing. Now when we get Esme's POV... you can expect a clean vocabulary!**

**Thanks for reading my long note, and enjoy the chapter!**

ChPOV

The clock ticked sluggishly as I sat on my recliner, waiting for one of my twins to drive my youngest home from that virus-infested school she'd insisted on attending.

They were five minutes later than they were yesterday, and I was filled with an unreasonable panic over it. I'd never wanted Bella to go to school in the first place, much less come home late afterwards.

If that Cullen kid had knocked her over again, I'd be paying Carlisle and Esme a rather hasty visit later on tonight to talk about what sort of Neanderthal they were raising.

How had Jasper and Rosalie turned out so well?

I knew from conversations with Alice that both Jasper and Rosalie Hale belonged to the kind doctor's late brother, but they'd been with the family since childhood, and were basically raised by Carlisle and Esme. I'd heard Jasper calling Esme "mom" in the grocery store one day, and he was just such a polite, kind boy compared to his brother. When Alice had first told me that she was going on a date with the new family's eldest son, I felt a pang of hate towards the strange boy for daring to fornicate with my daughter, but I'd insisted on meeting him and found him to be a respectable young man.

I trusted him with Alice, but I wouldn't trust that Edward with a pet fish.

He'd kill it, more likely than not.

Where was Bella?

I breathed a great sigh, and almost as if she'd heard me, the door opened and Bella waltzed inside, tired, but happy.

"Hi dad." She said quickly, hanging up her rain jacket and taking off her sneakers. I watched her in great relief as she dumped her bag by the door, strolling even closer to me.

"Were you held up?" I asked worriedly, glancing at the clock. Bella frowned in confusion and glanced at the clock as well, shrugging.

"No…"

"You're later than yesterday, that's all." I said gruffly. She sighed.

"By five minutes." She said, irritation clear in her tone as she glanced at me pointedly. I simply shrugged and turned back at the crime show on TV.

"Are you hungry?" I asked quickly, seeing her face change from irritation to shock.

"You don't cook." She said dubiously, making me grin.

"No, but The Lodge does." I said simply, glancing out to the front yard where my cruiser waited. She smiled.

"Then, sure." She agreed passively, grabbing her jacket again as I stood up, grinning.

"Great."

I loved steak and cobbler from the diner, and everyone around here knew it.

"Can I cook supper tonight?" she asked suddenly, turning to me with wide, pleading eyes. "I've wanted lasagne forever…"

"Sure." I agreed, offering her my hand. She stared at it for a long moment before she smiled wistfully, taking it in her own quickly. Her small hand was warm and fragile, feeling very thin and delicate in my own worn hand. Working as a cop had enough hands on work, and I knew that both my girls would have softer hands than mine.

It had been forever since she'd let me hold her hand, and I knew she was just allowing it to placate me. I led her to the cruiser and opened the door for her, letting her slide into the front as I moved to my familiar driver's seat.

"Why are you home again today?" she asked curiously, making me sigh.

I suppose now was as good a time as any to explain myself to her.

"Well…" I started hesitantly, driving down our road. I knew she wouldn't be happy with me, but it was a gift, and it couldn't be helped.

"Dad…" she said in a warning voice, making me smile sadly.

She reminded me so much of Renee.

"I've taken a leave of absence." I said tentatively, gauging her reaction carefully.

"A leave of absence." She repeated dryly.

I nodded quickly, clearing my throat awkwardly.

"For how long?" she asked stiffly.

"The squad is fine without me for however long I need." I said defensively. "It's a paid leave."

"Who's paying for it?" she asked, her pale forehead creased in worry.

"I have a lot of vacation time stored up and under the circumstances, I have until next year." I admitted.

She was silent, glancing out the window.

"Bell?"

She remained quiet for a long moment before she sighed, turning towards me.

"Okay." She said in a small voice, smiling bravely up at me.

Flashbacks to her childhood flooded my brain, and I clearly recalled her little brown pigtails and grins with missing teeth, her smile very much changed, yet so similar now…

I stopped my memoir before I could get weepy and she turned towards the windshield, silent and contemplative.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I said bravely, earning me a small smile.

"I'm hungry." She replied, her stomach rumbling loudly in agreement. As usual, she flushed red as a beet in embarrassment, much as I did when I was caught off guard.

"Me too." I said honestly, pulling into the small parking lot outside the best diner in Forks. Silently, she pulled her door open and slid out into the moist air, wrapping her arms around herself against the humidity. I smiled to myself as she walked towards the door beside me, scrambling inside once I opened the glass door. The familiar chime sounded, letting the staff know they had new customers, and Bella watched me knowingly, moving towards my booth.

We always sat at the same booth, ever since I could remember. It had been big enough for all five of us at one point, and when Renee left and the twins grew, Emmett and I shared one side while the girls shared the other.

Today, we each got a side to ourselves, and when the kind waitress, Sue, came over, she handed us both menus.

"Good afternoon, Chief." She said happily, glancing at Bella tenderly.

Sue was the full time waitress and owner of this place, and she served me nearly every time I came in.

"Good to have you back, Bella." She said softly, making Bella flush and stammer her thanks.

"Can I get your drinks?" she offered in her cheerful voice, making me grin.

"Coffee, please." I said. She glanced towards Bella, making her blush deepen.

"Chocolate milk?" she asked, making Sue smile as she wrote it down. Bella opened her menu and glanced down at the proper page, locating her usual veggie burger.

The smile on her face grew when she found out it was still available, and Sue, who had just come back with the drinks from her refrigerator, smiled wistfully.

"Veggie burger?" she guessed, looking at Bella knowingly.

"Yes please." She said gently.

"And the usual, Chief?" she asked, making me nod.

"Steak and cobbler." I confirmed, making Sue smile as she wrote down my usual order, along with an extra serving of cobbler for Bella.

"Thank you." I said, making her wave as she walked towards the kitchen to give the cook our order.

"She's still here?" asked Bella wonderingly, glancing at Sue's retreating back.

"Yep."

"She's always been nice…" Bella mused, looking wistful. "I like her."

I grinned, making Bella blush.

"You liked her when you were little, too." I said softly. "She'd always give you kids free jello."

"I like jello." She admitted. "Maybe that's why."

"Probably."

The two of us fell into a comfortable silence as Bella traced the grains in the wooden table with her fingernail, swirling and turning through each and every loop. Finally, when she came to the centre of the knot, she lifted her finger away, tapping it gently against the varnish. As her hand hovered over the table, she reached over and began on another loop, each time reaching the centre of a knot.

Straight stretch, circle, end.

I watched her with fascinated eyes for as long as I could before Sue came back with our food. She handed me my steak and Bella her burger, promising a drink refill as soon as she was free and our cobbler when we were finished our meals.

Bella dug in eagerly and I smiled, cutting a piece of the well-marinated steak Sue always had on hand, taking a bite.

It was familiar and delicious, and Bella seemed to agree.

"I haven't had this in forever." She groaned, eating heartily. It made me smile, seeing her eating so much, knowing that she hadn't had much of an appetite lately. We were lucky to coax her into eating half a plate.

Maybe I'd take her here more often.

She finished her milk and burger before she munched on her fries, watching as I cut my steak into pieces.

The meal finished quickly and before long, Sue had brought us our cobbler and the bill, which was shockingly cheap. I examined it closely and realized that she'd given us our cobblers and drinks on the house, only charging for the meals themselves, and I was grateful.

Sue was a nice woman.

"Finished?" I asked as Bella turned her spoon around her plate, looking distracted by the light it was reflecting from the window beside us.

"Yeah." She said, sighing. "I like it here."

"So do I."

I paid for our meal and thanked Sue for the discount before we went back out to the cruiser and started it up, stopping by the grocery store on the way home for Bella's dinner plans. She moved expertly through the aisles- something I could never seem to manage- and grabbed all the required ingredients for her lasagne recipe, which she knew by heart. I paid, ignoring her grumbling at the price, and carried the bags out to the car before I drove us home, feeling accomplished.

Supper preparation was begun as soon as the bags touched the counter, and Bella set to work, chopping, mixing, baking and slicing to her heart's content. I could see her struggling not to yawn and I knew she was tired, but cooking made her happy.

And I'd give her the world, if it made her happy.

She finally finished her creation and popped it into the oven and tossed up a salad, along with finishing the preparations for garlic bread- a personal favourite of mine- just as the twins came inside.

"Smells nice!" commented Emmett happily, grinning as he poked his head in. "Lasagne?" he asked excitedly, glancing into the oven.

"Yep." Said Bella, smiling at Emmett's enthusiasm. Alice waltzed in, kissed both of our cheeks and waltzed out again just as quickly, without a word, and I grinned.

Alice was so much like her mother, it scared me sometimes.

Even if she'd never admit it.

Bella lost her battle with the yawn and before she could so much as start her next sentence, a massive yawn escaped her, sending tremors down her whole body.

"Do you want to sit?" I asked carefully, earning me a small scowl.

"No thank you." She said tersely, glancing into the oven again with piercing eyes.

She hated when I coddled her, but what else could I do?

"Oh, relax Boo." Said Emmett happily, patting her on the back as he passed her, moving for a glass of water. Bella simply grinned and shot me an apologetic glance before the timer dinged, and she turned down the oven temperature. She slid the bread in alongside the casserole and started the timer again for ten minutes, making Emmett groan.

"It smells good." He said wistfully, hovering behind Bella eagerly, waiting for the food.

"I know it does, but staring at it won't cook it any faster." She admonished, glancing at Emmett with raised eyebrows. "It'll be done in ten minutes."

"I'll waste away before then." Said Emmett sadly, making Bella's eyes roll and mine dampen at his poor choice of words. He immediately looked sheepish, but Bella took no notice of it as she glanced into the oven once more, smiling.

Alice came down the stairs just then, a smile plastered on her face as she held three novels in her hands.

"Here." She said to Bella, handing them over gently. Bella, eager and excited, took them from Alice's hands and took in the titles. From where I stood, I could read _The Pact, Nineteen Minutes _and _Change of Heart,_ all by the same author.

"I told you months ago that I'd find them for you. They were down in my locker." Explained Alice with a shrug. "They're good."

"I've heard." Said Bella eagerly, placing each book gingerly on the counter while Alice chattered away.

"Jasper's so happy with Edward." She said softly, making Bella smile.

Edward Cullen?

"Edward?" I asked quickly, making Alice nod as she turned to me.

"He actually apologized to Bella and he was _nice." _She said, inserting air quotes around the word 'nice'.

"He was." Defended Bella quickly. "He didn't seem like a bad guy…"

"He is." I assured her. "He smokes."

"So do half the other kids at school." She responded dryly. "You just don't like him because he knocked me over." She accused.

I frowned, flushing.

"That's not the point." I said quickly. "He's rude."

"He was nice enough to me." She said sternly. "And you have no right to judge what you don't know."

I fell silent at the truth of her words, sitting moodily in my chair.

I still didn't like him.

The timer on the oven dinged again, and Emmett perked up happily, watching as Bella, yawning, took out the casserole and bread with oven mitts.

"Emmett, set the table." She ordered firmly, before Emmett could get in her way. Emmett grabbed the plates from the cupboard and placed them in four spots around the table, plunking a knife and fork by each one unceremoniously. Bella placed a spatula and the lasagne on the table along with her bread and a knife, finishing with the salad. She poked the large salad forks into the bowl and smirked as Emmett dug into the food with eagerness, cramming an unhealthy amount onto his plate. I let the girls go next, and each took a decent portion for themselves before I scooped out my own, grinning as Bella ate properly.

She loved to cook, just like Renee had, except Bella's cooking was actually very good, whereas Renee's left much to be desired.

"Oh my _god." _Moaned Emmett lowly, shovelling the food into his mouth at a hazardous rate. "Thank you, Jesus…"

I rolled my eyes at Emmett's exaggeration, but Bella smiled again, and that was all that mattered.

"Yes, I've heard that we share a startling resemblance." Said Bella sarcastically, making Emmett smirk into his food.

"It's really good." Complimented Alice, making Bella smile again in thanks.

"I've wanted it for a while now." She explained softly eating steadily. "Mom can't cook for shit."

"Language." I warned with a frown, making her grin as Emmett snorted into his food.

"Damn straight, she can't." he said honestly. "But you can."

"Thanks."

During this interaction, Alice had fallen into a stiff silence, eating her food as daintily and indifferently as she could.

I felt bad for Alice, knowing how much a good maternal relationship meant to kids, especially little girls. I'd done the best I could with both Alice and Bella, but when it came to feminine problems, a woman was always better suited than a bachelor father who blushed at the drop of a hat. Emmett, on the other hand, was exactly the kind of son I would have wanted. Nothing fazed him.

"B, you look sleepy." Commented Emmett as Bella took a drink of water, sighing heavily.

"I'm fine." She insisted, making me sigh as she finished off what was left on her plate and stood slowly, looking stiff as she moved to the sink, rinsing the plate.

"I'll wash." Said Alice quickly, making Bella sigh.

"I can help." She insisted.

"You cooked, I'll clean." She said simply, shrugging as she brought her own plate and glass to the sink, rinsing it as well. She nudged Bella out of her way and sent her back to the table to sit down, where Emmett was taking a third helping.

"Don't overdo it." Bella warned, making Emmett's eyes roll.

"I could never." He said, patting his trusty stomach while he shovelled nearly half a slice of lasagne into his mouth all at once. I grimaced and shot him a stern glance, silently reminding him to be polite.

Eighteen years had still failed to teach Emmett proper table manners. He was taking Rosalie Hale to dinner on Friday, or so I'd heard, and I could only imagine what sort of spectacle he'd make of himself then…

But there. That wasn't my job, and it definitely wasn't my problem to solve. Emmett was growing up now, and he'd have to learn these sorts of things on his own. I could only hope that eighteen years of reminders would come in handy, and he wouldn't scare the poor Hale girl by shoving an entire steak in his mouth, or something equally as offensive.

I grinned at the thought of Rosalie's reaction… she'd be livid if Emmett behaved badly. I didn't know much about her, but I knew she was rather high strung when it came to boys, as confirmed by Alice.

"Dad?"

I glanced over at Emmett curiously, wondering why his voice had suddenly turned so soft and quiet. I followed his gaze down to the table, smiling nostalgically.

Bella had fallen asleep with her head on the table, her thin arms supporting it as she breathed deeply, just like she had as a small child. Emmett obviously remembered those times as well, since as soon as I smiled he did too, looking amused.

"Time machine?" he offered, making me chuckle softly as I moved over to her, gently lifting her face off of her hand. The imprint of her sleeve was marked onto her face and I sighed, gently leaning her back against my arm. Before I could strain myself, Emmett got up from his spot and came over, taking her gently into his large, muscled arms.

She looked so small, sitting in Emmett's grip, and with a quiet chuckle he moved towards the stairs and walked up slowly, all the while trying not to jostle her. I heard him laying her in her bed and after he covered her up, he moved back out slowly, shutting the door with a soft _click_ behind him. He appeared at the bottom of the stairs, grinning softly.

"Out like a light."

I forced a false smile onto my face as I took in my son's innocent words, wondering when that light bulb would finally burn out for good, leaving us in permanent darkness.

**A/N: Sad.... poor Charlie.**

**Please leave me a review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 11**

**I've decided to post the rest.... you've been so supportive lately, and I always forget to update properly.**

**Here's the rest of the story (updated tonight), so please be kind and leave me a review!**

EPOV

For the first time in a very long while, my mother was able to get me out of bed without a fuss or even a curse. I had school today, and that sucked ass, but for some reason, today didn't seem so hellish as normal. I hadn't had even a sip of alcohol last night so there was no hangover to hold me down, and I'd most definitely had a good night's rest.

I'd apologized to Isabella Swan yesterday, and for some reason, I was proud of myself.

I didn't apologize for _anything._

Mom came in and as usual, she attempted to get me out of bed, her face pleasantly surprised when I offered her a "good morning" and hopped out of bed like nothing, making my way to my bathroom.

She left me to my morning business and when I came down for breakfast, washed and groomed, she looked extremely pleased.

"I hear you apologized." She said slyly, making me stifle a grin.

_Man the fuck up, Cullen._

"Yeah." I grunted, making her sigh happily as she plopped a generous helping of eggs, toast and bacon in front of me.

I'd even beaten Jasper down to the table, and that was a rarity.

"I'm glad." She admitted gently.

I fucking loved my mother…

"Hey." Said Jazz, coming down the stairs quickly and quietly as he always did. Mom smiled happily at her nephew-come-son, and he grinned back, kissing her cheek kindly before he sat down and dished his own food.

"Good job yesterday, man." he said suddenly, turning to me quickly. I glanced over and he offered me a small grin as I nodded and shovelled another bite of egg into my mouth.

"Alice was glad." He added for mom's benefit. "She says that Bella thought you were 'nice'." He quoted.

Mom beamed.

"That's because I was nice." I defended. "It has been heard of, you know."

"Sure it has." Said Jasper sceptically, just as Rosalie loped in, smiling at Esme kindly. She grabbed a piece of toast and a slice of bacon before she sat down next to her brother, saying nothing.

"Now all you have to do is keep being nice." Said Jasper wearily, making me grin widely.

"I know."

"You know?" he asked dubiously. "You're not a nice person…" he admitted.

I scowled.

"I can be when I want to be." I snapped, making him sigh as he went back to his food.

"Do you want to be?" he asked calmly, looking at me levelly.

I felt my cheeks brighten slightly and he grinned like the asshole he was.

"Fuck off." I snapped, shoving his shoulder. Mom glared at me, although I could see the underlying pride and happiness.

"You like her?" he asked incredulously.

"No." I snapped quickly. "Not like that…"

"Like a friend?"

"Maybe." I admitted, shoving the last of my toast into my mouth before he could reply.

"Good." He said firmly, taking my empty plate along with his own to the sink, rinsing them off.

"Thanks." I said quietly, standing awkwardly as Rosalie stared at me contemplatively. I ignored her blue stare and quietly moved towards the door, waving goodbye to mom.

"Have a good day." She said softly, waving gently as she watched me leave.

"Yeah. You too." I muttered, moving out to start my car.

It purred, and I instantly felt a warm, fuzzy feeling settle in my chest.

I loved that car almost as much as I loved my own mother.

"Get in, man." Said Jasper, shaking his head as he slid into the backseat, letting Rose have the front.

She got in, stony and cold as usual before she began to rifle through her purse, procuring some sort of sweet-scented lip balm shit. She pulled down the mirror and applied it dutifully, forcing me to bite back a rude, obnoxious comment.

No need to let Rosalie ruin a perfectly good morning.

She applied it carefully and I watched her with avid, curious eyes while I glanced at the road, making sure I was still in my own lane. She applied numerous layers and her lips became shimmery and shiny, covered in the gooey mess.

"Why are you staring at me?" she queried calmly, not even sparing me a passing glance.

"Why do girls wear that shit?" I asked curiously, making her glare.

"If you're going to start on me about lip gloss, I swear to god--" she started, right before I cut her off.

"I'm honestly curious." I defended, making Jasper snicker.

"Because it moistens the lips and makes kissing that much better." Said Jasper matter-of-factly. Rosalie laughed as I grimaced, trying not to picture Jasper making out with Alice's cherry-glossed lips.

"That's part of it." Admitted Rosalie, glancing over at me with amused eyes.

Rosalie was never amused when it came to me, and I wondered how much good apologizing to Miss Bella had really done. If Rose was being nice to me, I'd apologize for years.

I hated Rosalie's bad attitude towards me… not that mine was any better towards her.

"It makes the lips look plumper, which is attractive to most guys…" she mused. "And it smells good."

"It smells good." I repeated dryly.

"Yes."

Girls were fucking weird.

Without asking any more questions about Rosalie's lip fetish, I pulled into my usual spot in the parking lot, right next to Emmett Swan's massive beast of a Jeep.

It was pretty sweet, even if I liked my car better.

If my car was like my kid, his Jeep was like a favourite nephew or something. I turned off my vehicle just as Emmett's door opened and he hopped out with ease, pixie following behind him. He moved to the back seat as the door opened, and with a little jolt, I saw him help his little sister down, making sure she didn't fall on her ass.

I fought the urge to watch her as she passed by, but before I could stop myself, I walked over to Emmett.

"Hey." I said, grinning at him as he watched me.

Emmett was a cool guy, even if he was closer to Jasper than he was to me.

"Hey man." He said happily, handing Bella her backpack. Little Bella Swan grabbed the bag with a flushing face, taking it onto her sore, bruised shoulder.

"Want me to get that for you?" offered Emmett, making Bella shake her head.

"No, I'm fine." She managed, making Emmett sigh.

"If you say so, Boo." He replied quietly, taking his own packed bag onto his shoulder.

_Boo._

I'd never heard Emmett give his twin a pet name before… maybe that was reserved for the little one. Bella Swan stood next to her big brother, dwarfed by his massive size, just as Alice came over, grinning.

"Hi Edward." She said happily, making me take a double take.

Alice hated me.

"Hi?" I said confusedly, making Jasper smirk as Alice beamed. She hugged my brother tightly and whispered something I was sure no one else wanted to hear in his ear, making him shiver as he grinned.

Fucking gross.

"Seriously, Alice?"

I smirked as I turned towards the source of the voice, seeing Bella's grimace matching my own.

"Seriously Bella." She replied solemnly, making Bella's nose crinkle.

"Save it for later." She advised, glancing up at Emmett with incredulous eyes. Emmett laughed.

"I told you it's weird." He said triumphantly. Alice scowled and retorted by kissing Jasper soundly, making Bella grumble.

"That's nasty." She said angrily, snatching her bag up from its place beside her and swinging it up onto her shoulder with a grimace of pain.

My conscience reared back and I felt another stab of guilt.

"Let me take it." I said, making Bella smile softly as the other four stared in shock. Rosalie watched me with wary, suspicious eyes as I took the bag off of her shoulder and held it easily, wondering how sore she really was if so little weight earned grimaces and hisses of pain.

"Thanks." Said Bella, her face red and downcast.

I suppressed a smile and simply jerked my head in the direction of the door.

"Come on." I said, not unkindly, ignoring the stares of my siblings and friends.

"See you later." Said Bella softly, offering the shocked party a small wave as she followed me to the door.

"Thanks for carrying it." She said softly, glancing towards the ground once more.

In that moment, I found myself watching her intently, wondering what was so special about her. The light hit her face from the parting clouds- a rarity in Forks- and her pale, almost translucent skin was illuminated with a strange, ethereal glow, as she moved towards the door, her brown eyes glinting in the sunlight.

She had no hair on her head or face, but I still felt strangely drawn to her, though not in a sexual way. She had a way of attracting people, no matter how much she wanted to remain invisible, and I felt myself wanting to know her, wanting to know what she thought and what she wanted out of her short life.

I actually wanted to _talk _to a girl, not just fuck her in the janitor's closet.

I wanted her as a _friend,_ and I'd do my best to make that happen.

"You have English first, right?" I asked carefully, making sure to keep any hints of arrogance or superiority out of my voice.

Because I sure as hell wasn't superior to her, in any way, shape or form.

"Yeah, room 104 with Varner." She explained, smiling.

She was smiling about Varner's class? That guy was a goddamn prick… even worse than Mr. Chider.

"You like him?" I asked dubiously, making her smile.

"He's nice to me." She explained with a shrug. "He's nice if you listen to him."

Huh.

I'd always pinned Varner as an _unconditional _prick…

I was glad he was being nice to her, even if he'd tried to fail me last semester.

"He tried to fail me." I admitted. "My mom came in and threw a fit about it, claiming that he didn't mark my work fairly…"

Mom had been a complete, uncharacteristic spitfire that day, and she'd won her battle.

I passed with eighty percent.

Bella smiled at my anecdote and when we reached room 104, I felt slightly irritated. I didn't want to just walk away from her, now that I'd gotten on her good side.

To my satisfaction, Bella slid down against the wall, sitting with her legs crossed. She watched me with eager, almost expecting eyes and I did the same, sliding down beside her. I handed her the backpack I'd carried and she placed it on her lap, wrapping her thin arms around it.

She looked so frail and breakable.

"What do you have first?" she asked, making me sigh.

"Chemistry." I admitted darkly, earning me a grin.

"Is it hard?" she queried, looking much more open and willing than she had before.

One barrier down.

"Not really." I admitted. "Just boring as fuck."

She giggled at my use of profanity.

"Sorry." I said quickly, mentally checking myself. Maybe she was religious or something…

"I grew up with Emmett." She said dryly. "It's nothing I haven't heard before."

"No shit." I said happily as I thought of Emmett's horrible habit of swearing, even in the best situations. He'd merged everyday English words to form insults and swears that I didn't even know existed.

Just last month, he'd decided that "ass-cookie" was his new word, and he'd used it at every possible interval.

Leave it to Emmett to mix his two favourite things to form one- profanity and food.

"He's made up some strange ones…" she mused, making me start.

Strange.

"He made up 'ass-cookie' last month," I offered. "and apparently the substitute teacher was one."

She laughed and I smiled as well, the strange glee feeling foreign to me. I rarely _smiled, _even if I grinned, and it was a pleasant change.

Before she could get another word in, the bell rang, shrill and irritating and I sighed, standing up quickly. Bella sighed wistfully and glanced up at me sheepishly, her face turning red as she cleared her throat, making me smile again.

"Here." I said, offering her my hand as any polite gentleman should.

Thank god that mom had bothered to instil some sort of manners in me.

She took my hand in her own, and I helped her to her feet, acutely aware of the thin bones of her hand and the numerous stares I got from passing students.

I'd punch their goddamn faces in if they kept it up.

"Thanks Edward." She said softly, offering me a small wave before she made her way into the classroom, leaving Mr. Varner to stare at me.

"Mr. Cullen." He acknowledged, making me smirk as I headed off to Mr. Prick and my chemistry class.

ooOoo

Chemistry and music class passed quickly and I felt my temper bubbling as it demanded nicotine. I'd missed my morning smoke thanks to my conversation with Bella, and although I wouldn't have changed that time, I still desperately needed a cigarette. I moved to my locker without much grace or kindness, I nudged the little freshman boy out of my way and shoved my music portfolio and chemistry textbook inside, snatching my jacket from the small metal hook. I felt around and sighed happily when I found the small rectangular package through the leather, waiting to be smoked.

The lighter was in there too, and with a flourish, I put on my coat and pulled it into my fist, clamping down on it graciously.

I needed my smoke…

"Edward?"

A small, timid voice from behind me made me wheel around, and without hesitation, I turned, glancing over at the small, white face.

"Bella." I said quietly, standing stalk still.

"Hi." She said shyly, taking a small step forward.

What the fuck did I do now? I wasn't retarded- I knew that she shouldn't be around cigarette smoke and shit like that, but I fucking_ needed_ it.

Yet there she was, staring at me with her large, chocolaty eyes.

"Don't you go home?" I asked curiously, making her stare.

"Yeah," she admitted softly, flushing as she looked away, "but Alice called dad and I'm staying for lunch."

I smiled and nodded, earning me a hesitant grin.

"I'll be there soon." I said, trying as politely as I could to get her to move ahead of me.

She didn't move.

"Edward?" she asked, her cheeks flaming red.

I sighed, trying not to laugh at her blush.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Can you show me where the cafeteria is?" she asked quickly, avoiding my gaze.

Fuck.

"Sure." I said, my voice oddly happy and unfazed, though the little monster in my brain was screaming profanities at her.

No one interrupted the smoke breaks.

"Come on."

I abandoned the lighter in my pocket and took a deep breath, trying my hardest to stave off the demand for nicotine. Bella looked oddly relieved as I walked beside her, glancing down at the sparkly head wrap she had draped around her head.

I wondered if she had _any _hair at all…

_Don't you fucking as her that, asshat._

I kept my mouth shut and my tongue in its place as I walked her towards the glass doors of our cafeteria, ushering her inside quickly.

The entire student body seemed to be staring at her, and she immediately dropped her gaze and shrunk down beside me, looking ready to fall right through the floor.

_Assholes._

I glowered at the nearest staring piece of shit and felt myself growing increasingly irritated as I walked her towards our table in the corner, where Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were seated, chatting idly.

"We sit here." I said gruffly as I pulled out the usually empty chair for her. Her blush darkened and she sat down, thanking me softly as Emmett smirked at his blushing baby sister, looking amused.

"What were you two doing?" he asked suggestively, turning Bella beet red.

"I asked him to show me where you guys were." She said defensively. "He showed me, and he pulled out my chair."

"That's it?" asked Emmett, making my own temper flare as Bella glowered.

"Yes."

"If you say so…" he sang, making Bella scowl as she turned towards Alice, who was staring at Emmett in slight disgust.

"You're a dork." She declared firmly, making Bella's eyes roll as she glanced at me curiously, obviously noticing I was still standing.

I wasn't sure if the smell of cigarette smoke was detrimental to her health, so, ignoring my inner addict, I sat my ass down in my seat and took of my coat, abandoning all thoughts of smoking and lighters.

"No smoke break?" asked Emmett amusedly, looking at me curiously. Rosalie, who was seated beside him, snapped her head up incredulously, knowing damn well that I always had a smoke break before lunch, and rarely ever missed it.

"No." I said simply, earning Bella's frown.

"You smoke?" she asked knowingly, crinkling her nose.

I sighed.

The chief had probably already told her during the unavoidable 'keep away from Edward Cullen' spiel.

"Yeah." I admitted, making Alice stiffen as she watched our interaction, no doubt ready to intervene if I got nasty.

Like I _could _get rude with her…

"Hm." She said disapprovingly, making me frown.

"Only like, two a day." I defended, earning me a small frown.

"Two too many." She decided, sighing as she turned towards Alice. "What's good for lunch?"

I felt myself sinking into my seat as I stared at the speckled tabletop, letting Alice ramble off a number of nasty food choices our school cafeteria offered.

In the end, Bella went up with Alice and Emmett, coming back with trays of food for everyone. To my shock, she handed me a serving of fries and a Mountain Dew, making me smile.

"Thanks." I said confusedly, watching as she sat down with similar food- fries and a Pepsi.

"Alice said that's what you liked." She admitted. I nodded.

"It is."

I dove into the fries silently, eating my fill before I decided to watch Bella, who was eating as slowly as humanly possible.

"Not hungry?" I asked softly, making her head whip around as she stared.

"Not really." She admitted with a small shrug, making both Alice and Emmett's eyes flick over to her quickly.

If I hadn't been watching, I wouldn't have noticed.

Bella forced down about half of her small dish of fries before she willingly handed the rest over to Emmett, who shovelled them down in a matter of seconds. Rosalie stared in slight shock before she smiled to herself and looked away, making me smirk.

She was in deep.

"That's rude." Chided Bella softly, glancing over at her massive brother.

Jasper was the one who laughed, looking amused.

"Darlin', he's always rude." He said honestly, his southern accent more pronounced as he laughed.

Aunt Victoria had been from the south, and he accent had rubbed off on Jasper at a young age.

"I know, but still." She said quietly, making Emmett smirk.

"I love you, Boo." He said fondly, earning him an eye roll.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." She said dryly. He grinned.

"Come on. I'll drive you home…" he said sadly, glancing over at the clock.

Fifteen minutes of lunch left.

Bella sighed.

"Fine." She said grudgingly, glancing at the clock as well and making a mental calculation. She sighed and looked at the rest of us wistfully.

"Bye." Said Alice in her usual chipper voice, waving enthusiastically as Bella stood up, letting Emmett carry the dreaded book bag.

"See you later, Ali." She said fondly. The rest said a soft goodbye as well as Emmett led her out, and I raised a hand, a bit later than the others, turning her face a pale shade of pink.

"Bye Edward."

And then, she was gone.

Alice sighed softly, smiling in my direction as Emmett led her out to his Jeep, where he'd drive her home to her worrying father.

"Thank you." Said Alice gently, making me frown in confusion.

"For what?"

"Being nice." She said honestly. I felt my cheeks prickle with the faintest hint of a blush, but no one but myself seemed to notice.

"She wants a friend." Said Alice sadly. "She's never really had one before…"

"She's never had friends?" I asked incredulously, wondering what the fuck she'd done with herself for sixteen years.

If I had no friends, I'd probably have died of boredom before the age of five.

"She's been sick." Said Alice sadly. "Once when she was four, again when she was nine, and now. After the second relapse, dad had her homeschooled with tutors."

I nodded softly, munching on a fry from Jasper's tray, ignoring the frown he shot me.

"I think that's why she's so stubborn about being here. She wants at least one friend that isn't related to her."

"Right." I said stupidly, feeling awkward.

What was I supposed to say?

"She thinks she's found one in you." Said Alice suddenly, gluing her eyes to me. "After you apologized…" she shook her head. "Just please, for her sake, be nice."

"I am being nice." I said, forcing down the nasty rebuke that came to mind.

My brain was inherently fucking ignorant, and I knew it had to stop it's word vomit sooner or later.

"I know…" said Alice dubiously. "But please, keep it up. It's only for a few months."

I felt sick.

"I will be." I said sternly, glancing over at the rest of my table-mates. Rosalie was avoiding our gazes as she examined her salad dish, and Jasper was watching the interaction between his girlfriend and I with saddened, worried eyes.

_It's only for a few months…_

"And you can't smoke around her." Said Alice quickly, making me sigh.

"I know that." I said patiently. "That's why I didn't go before lunch. I was about to, but she asked me where you guys were…"

"Maybe _she'll_ help _you_, then." Decided Alice with a smile, looking pleased with herself.

I grunted, making Jasper smirk.

Alice opened her mouth once more to continue her spiel, but she was cut off by the ringing of the bell, and Emmett's abrupt reappearance in the cafeteria.

"See you at the car." I said to Jasper and Rosalie quickly, and before Alice could so much as say my name, I bolted for biology.

**A/N: I apologize ahead of time for any errors you find... I'm not reading through all the chapters at once to find them.**

**If you spot one, let me know and I'll try to change it ASAP!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 12**

BPOV

Friday rolled around much sooner than I would have expected, and with it, came the strange, triumphant feeling of having finished the week successfully.

This Friday, however, was different than most- Rosalie Hale had invited me to dinner with her family, and I had to say I was nervous. Alice had been there countless times over the months she'd been dating Jasper, but I had yet to meet the doctor and Mrs. Cullen, and no matter how many times Alice reassured me, I was nervous. Rosalie herself was going out to dinner with my brother instead of staying home, and I'd be left with Jasper, the parents, and of course, Edward.

I felt strangely drawn to Edward Cullen, and aside from our hasty first meeting on the floor of the hallway on my first day, he'd been nothing but kind.

He was very quiet and reserved though, and I often caught him watching me with piercing eyes that felt all-too seeing.

It was a little spooky, sometimes.

Alice was on her way to Port Angeles with dad, and Emmett was going to drive me and pick me up from the Cullens' after his date with Rosalie. He would pick her up as he dropped me off, and pick me up as he dropped her off afterwards, acting as some sort of chauffeur.

I'd felt bad for catching a ride with him when he was supposed to be on a date, but he wouldn't hear of it. He told me to shut up and get in before he forced me in and with that ominous promise, I got inside all on my own, making him smile.

Now, with Alice and dad far down the road to Port Angeles, and Emmett and I pulling into the Cullens' driveway, I had very nervous butterflies fluttering in my belly.

"Relax, Bell." Said Em, laughing as he pulled his vehicle to a stop. The whole house was lit up-- so different than the old haunted place I'd imagined up as a kid. I'd pictured it full of cobwebs and maybe a ghost or two, but never so whitewashed and pretty as it was now. The whole house emanated welcome, and even I, who was shaking like a leaf, could sense that.

"Sorry." I apologized quickly, trying to make myself calmer.

"They're good people." He said simply. "They'll love you."

"I'm sure." I said softly, sighing as I got out of the Jeep. No need to make Rosalie wait because I was acting like a chicken shit in the Jeep.

Doctor Cullen was my oncologist for Christ's sake, not an axe murderer.

I felt my feet, clad in dressy flat shoes courtesy of Alice, hit the paved driveway, and I immediately approached the massive house that had haunted my childhood nightmares. I immediately felt intimidated by the front door, seeing how large and it was, with its brass handle and frosted window. The soft glow of the lights inside were shining through, casting a homey aura around me that manage to calm my frazzled nerves somewhat.

Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand and rang the doorbell, hearing it echo through the entire house.

_Damn it._

It was loud.

Without having to even wait a minute, a tall figure appeared in the window, opening it quickly.

"Hi Bella." Said Rosalie happily, glancing over my shoulder to where Emmett was waiting, waving at her from the vehicle. He shot me a small, encouraging wink before Rosalie raised a finger and ushered me inside, glancing me over.

"You look nervous." She laughed, making me smile shakily.

"I'm not really good with meeting new people." I admitted. "It sort of freaks me out."

"I'm the same way." She said lightly. "Except it doesn't freak me out… I find most of them a threat."

I managed a genuine laugh and she smiled as she took my coat and shoes, placing them on the hook and rack respectively.

"Bella's here!" she hollered, making me jump as it echoed throughout the house.

"I've got to go, but if you go right through that door," she pointed towards the illuminated room at the end of a short hall, "you'll find Jasper. He's playing something on the X-Box." She said dismissively.

"Thanks." I said, bracing myself to find Alice's boyfriend in his natural habitat.

When I looked back, Rosalie was gone and I heard the click of the door and the rumble of Emmett's Jeep, letting me know that I was alone.

Sighing, I made sure I had a proper footing before I set off towards the glowing room, seeing the television flashing before I even got near.

I slowly stepped inside and true enough, there was Jasper, his long body draped over an armchair and a gaming console running on the floor. He had a controller in his hand and he was pressing buttons furiously, a warrior-like figure on the television attacking various zombies.

"Hi Bella." He said kindly, shooting me a fleeting smile before he returned to his game with a curse as one of the undead creatures aimed a blow at his warrior.

"Hi." I said, taking a hesitant step forward as his fingers danced across the buttons.

His warrior won his battle and his score came up, meaning absolutely nothing to me as I stared at the screen indifferently.

"Have a seat." He said with a smile, placing down his controller and gesturing to the long sofa before us. I sat down carefully, making sure not to disturb any of Mrs. Cullen's decorative cushions, and Jasper smiled.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He said lightly, looking me over. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." I squeaked, making him frown.

"Are you nervous about meeting my parents?" he asked, looking torn between pity and amusement.

I flushed.

"A little." I admitted. "I don't…" I trailed off, shaking my head. He stood up slowly approached me, offering me his hand.

"Come on." He said gently, smiling as I slowly took his hand and let him bring me to my feet, holding onto my pale little hand as he led me towards the small hallway again, obviously knowing where he was going.

"We'll go and meet mom before dinner, so you'll feel better." He decided.

I nodded quickly, not daring to make him unhappy as he led me through two parlours, a music room and a dining room before he came to a kitchen, where two people were occupied, cutting and basting various pieces of food.

"Mom?" asked Jasper, making the woman start as she turned around, looking surprised.

"Jasper!" she said happily, glancing immediately to me. She dropped the knife she was holding onto the counter and approached me with bright eyes and a smiling face. Her hair shone under the lights and I saw the distinct match to Edward's own strange coloured hair, but hers was more brown than red, unlike her son's. It waved down her back elegantly, and her entire form screamed "mom".

"Hello, dear." She said kindly, making me smile.

"Hi Mrs. Cullen." I said courteously, glad to hear that my voice didn't waver.

I liked her already.

"None of that." She scolded, making me frown in confusion before she beamed at me. "Esme will do just fine."

"Alright." I agreed bashfully, making her smile as she came closer. I expected a handshake, but when she leaned in and embraced me, I was completely taken aback.

It was more than my own mother had done for me over the past months, and I instantly knew why Alice idolized this woman.

"I'm so glad you could come." She said, not a hint of dishonesty in her tone. "When Alice told me, I was so excited."

I blushed to the roots of my hair, and as soon as I was led deeper into the kitchen, I heard a familiar chuckle.

Edward.

Sure enough, there he was, sitting at the table with a cookbook, a bowl and various ingredients, mixing what looked like bread dough in a large bowl.

"Hi." I said, making Esme grin as she watched Edward expectantly. He looked up at me again and nodded courteously.

"Hello, Bella." He said smoothly.

Esme beamed at him proudly for his obviously unusual display of manners.

"I'll go back to my game." Said Jasper suddenly, making me turn around.

"Thanks for showing me here." I said softly, earning me a curious frown and a small smile before he nodded and backed away, obviously not very comfortable with kitchen things. Jasper disappeared and I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, making Esme smile sympathetically.

"You can have a seat." She said graciously, waving her arms in the general direction of the table where Edward was seated, frowning deeply.

"Let it rise?" he asked confusedly, glancing into his bowl with desperate eyes. "Mom, when does it rise?"

"You need to mix it all together first." She said, not glancing back as she chopped carrots professionally. Edward sighed heavily and grabbed the cookbook once more, glancing into the bowl again.

"Mix in the wet ingredients." I said softly, making his head snap up. "The yeast will make it rise, if you let it sit. It makes the bread soft."

He simply grunted in concentration and added the required amount of both wet and dry ingredients, mixing it with a wooden spoon.

Soon, it became much too thick for the spoon, and he struggled.

"For fuck's sake." He grumbled angrily, standing to stab the poor spoon into his mixture.

"Watch your mouth, Edward." Warned Esme dangerously, making him sigh in frustration as he glanced at his mother in irritation. I fought the urge to smile, knowing it would only aggravate him that much more.

"Use your hands." I advised, making him turn towards me.

"I take it you cook?" he asked softly, rolling up his dark sleeves and reaching into the bowl.

"I like cooking." I admitted. "It's fun."

"Well, I'm glad you think so." He said sarcastically, earning an giggle from his mother as she added the vegetables she'd chopped to the hot steamer sitting on the stove. Edward kneaded the dough meticulously before it was all lumped into a ball- well on its way to being edible.

"That's it?" he asked incredulously, glancing at the cookbook in frustration.

"That's it." I said solemnly, glancing at the decently large ball of dough.

"Well, fuck." He said in astonishment, looking torn between shock and complete irritation. "They could have written _that _down." He said angrily.

"They did, dear, just in a few more words." Said Esme airily. "And don't swear." She added again, making him frown.

"Sorry."

The kitchen fell into silence before Edward heaved a great sigh and stood up.

"I'm covered in flour." He noted dryly, glancing over at his mother. Esme turned and smiled at the sight, looking at me as well.

"You should change." She said softly, making Edward nod as he wiped the table down with a wet cloth, handing the bowl of rising dough over to his mother. She covered it with a tea towel before she smiled and sent him off with a point of her finger.

He left without a fuss, and I was left with his mother, who was just finishing up with greasing her bread pans.

"How has school been going?" she asked me suddenly, glancing up as she wiped her hands on her towel, moving back towards the table. She sat me down once more and to my relief, she didn't insist on sitting in front of me, but settled for the seat directly next to mine, making things much less awkward.

"Good, so far." I admitted, not daring to mention the disastrous run in with her youngest on my first day. She smiled, her face gentle.

"That's good, dear." She said softly, patting my hand with her own. Her hand was similar to mine- although much less pale- and I suddenly felt a wave of nostalgia hit me.

She made me miss my own mother, which was ludicrous since I'd never had much of a mother to miss.

"You're all okay, up there with the chief?" she teased, making me smile.

"Dad's great." I admitted happily, gaining her attention again as she listened to my praise. "He's very kind."

"Your father is a good man." She decided. "He's been over for dinner a few times, himself." She noted.

I laughed.

"Dad's nearly as shy as me." I said softly, glancing down at her table instead. She laughed as well.

"He was terribly shy the first time we had him over, but Carlisle and he were able to get into a talk about the advantages of seatbelts, if I recall correctly. It was hardly proper dinnertime conversation, but it got Charlie to open up." she mused.

"That sounds like him." I said honestly. Dad was always harping on about the benefits of seatbelts and vehicular safety, especially when he came to the scenes of accidents where the victims had been travelling without one.

"He's not the best cook, though." Admitted Esme with a small frown. "Alice has told us about his exploits in the kitchen…"

I smiled.

"Alice likes it here." I said suddenly, making Esme smile as she turned to me.

I blushed again, feeling as though I'd said too much.

"We love having her." She admitted gently, returning my face to its natural colour. "She brings energy to the house."

"She does do that." I agreed, making Esme smile as she stood slowly, sighing.

"Would you like to help with the bread?" she asked softly, gesturing towards the dough Edward had so painstakingly prepared.

"Sure." I agreed, following her to the sink to wash my hands. When they were clean, we moved to the bowl and the three bread pans, all greased and ready to go.

"The boys all love homemade bread." She said softly. "I don't make it often, though, since it'll all be gone by tomorrow."

"Sounds like Emmett." I mused, removing a portion of the dough and setting it gently into the pan, making sure it was even.

"Emmett is a bottomless pit." Laughed Esme, shaking her head at the memories my brother had undoubtedly provided her with.

I blushed on his behalf, and Esme smiled at me.

"You look like them, you know." She decided, appraising my face closely. "You can see the relation."

I blushed again at the idea of someone- especially one so beautiful as Esme- comparing me to my handsome brother and pretty, perky sister.

I was homely and ugly compared to both of them, but somehow, I knew that Esme wouldn't lie to me.

"Thanks." I said, making her smile as she placed the last loaf into the pan, all three ready for the oven. She quickly and efficiently placed the three pans in her large, state of the art oven, and I was very nearly _comfortable _in my new surroundings, when it was shattered by a voice behind me.

"Hello."

I jumped violently and turned quickly with a loud gasp, seeing the shock on the sheepish face watching me.

A tall, leonine blond man who looked startlingly like Jasper Hale, was watching Esme and I from the doorway, dressed in what looked like a dress shirt and pants. He held a briefcase in his right hand and his hair was expertly gelled down, reminding me of what Edward's hair would have looked like, should he take the time to tame it down.

"I didn't mean to scare you." He said softly, looking sorry and amused at the same time. "I'm Carlisle."

He offered me his hand, and as I took a deep breath to calm myself, I shook it.

"Bella." I squeaked, making him nod.

"Smells nice." He complimented, leaning over to peck his wife on the cheek before he settled down at the table, sighing.

"Long day?" guessed Esme sympathetically as she wiped down her counter, leaving me standing in front of it. "Have a seat, dear." She said softly, pointing me to the table where I deposited my still shocked self beside the doctor, trying to calm down.

He'd startled me.

"Sorry." He said gently, looking me over sternly as I forced out a light laugh.

"It's fine." I said quickly. "I was just startled."

He laughed as well, nodding emphatically.

"I know the feeling." He admitted. "I've felt it enough times myself, especially when the kids were young. Edward used to sleepwalk when he was small and he'd come into our room and simply fall right over, making the loudest noise a kid could possibly make." He mused, making Esme giggle.

"I always expected it, but every time he did it, it scared you." She said.

"I'm a heavy sleeper." He defended.

"Hey dad." Said Edward pointedly, coming into the kitchen with a small frown.

"Hello, Edward." Said Carlisle smoothly, making Edward sigh.

As Edward faced his parents, I could see the resemblance he shared with both of them. He had inherited his mother's eyes and hair colour, but his father's facial structure and unruly hair texture. I could even sense a strange sense of mischief around the doctor that reminded me entirely of his son.

"Where's Jasper?" asked Esme softly, holding one of the baked bread loaves in her hands. She placed it on the counter and Edward immediately grinned, reaching for a slice.

He frowned slightly when his mother shooed him away, telling him to take the bowl of vegetables to the dining room.

"Jazz is in the parlour." Said Edward with a sigh, looking longingly at his mother's bread before Doctor Cullen- or Carlisle- stood, taking with him a bowl of potatoes and a plate of butter.

Esme followed out, flitting between the kitchen and dining room with various plates of food in hand, setting each one down on the long table. Jasper, smelling the food, appeared at the table, smiling at the occupants.

"Looks good, mom." He said happily, glancing at all the dishes laid before him. Esme smiled her thanks and sat down quickly, gesturing for me to do the same. I sat at the space where I assumed Alice usually, sat, as it was in between Jasper and Esme herself. The plates were made of white china and the silverware looked brand new, and I couldn't help but feel accepted as I sat, still as a statue around the table as everyone reached for a spoon or fork, serving themselves.

I reached over for a small spoonful of peas, placing them gently on my plate. Edward watched me with openly curious eyes as he observed what I did and didn't put on my plate. I knew that heavy, rich foods tended to upset my rather sensitive stomach, so I stuck with the easy things- vegetables, bread, water and a small piece of chicken. My plate was significantly less full than the rest of them, but Doctor Cullen seemed to understand, and I got the vibe that he silently approved of my choices.

"We had a little girl come in today." Said the doctor, finishing a bite of chicken before he spoke. Esme perked up and glanced over amusedly, smiling.

"What happened?" she asked happily, eating a mouthful of food for herself. Edward, Jasper and I listened in as we ate, me trying to eat as slowly as possible to avoid making myself sick.

It was hard. Esme's cooking was simply superb, and I had to fight the urge to shovel it down my throat and dive for seconds.

I knew that making myself sick wasn't the best way to compliment my hostess, so I resigned myself to taking small, delicate bites as the doctor spoke.

"She had a concussion from falling off of the playground at the park, nothing serious," he added, reassuring Esme, who was frowning sadly, "and she asked me to marry her."

I laughed softly at the idea of a small girl proposing to the handsome doctor, and Esme, despite herself, laughed as well.

"What did you say?" she asked curiously.

"Her mother was mortified." Admitted the doctor, shaking his head. "She carried her out of my office faster than anyone before her. It was the highlight of my day."

"She was only little." Said Esme sadly, shaking her head at the mother's attitude.

I silently agreed.

"The mother found it much less amusing." Said Carlisle quietly. "But it was cute, all the same."

"It sounds cute." Admitted Esme with a small smile.

The rest of the meal passed much in the same way, with everyone, excluding me and my shyness, of course, sharing various tidbits of their day. Edward explained that he'd managed not to tell off his chemistry teacher after a particularly gruelling lesson, and even though I'd already heard the story, I grinned just the same.

Jasper explained how Alice had confused him horribly by explaining the minor differences in the same shoe model by various different designers, and how she had to get to Port Angeles before all of her favourite models were sold out.

I laughed and explained to Jasper that he could never hope to fully understand my sister's craze for fashion.

Only when Edward finally opened his mouth again, did I truly perk up interestedly.

"I haven't smoked in two days." He said proudly, making his father and mother turn to him instinctively.

"That's great, dear." Said Esme proudly, glancing at her husband hopefully.

"Keep it up." encouraged Carlisle with a smile. Edward had divulged to me that his mother had never actually caught him smoking, but he knew she suspected, given that she'd found empty lighters and cigarette butts around the yard under his window.

He'd never smoked _in _the house, though.

Jasper glanced over at me with a small, almost appreciative smile, and I grinned back, slightly confused.

When dinner was done, I offered to help Esme with the dishes, but at the mere thought, she became quite firm and told me to go and have fun with the boys while she took on cleanup duty. I wanted to argue with her, but I instinctively knew that Esme Cullen was not the type of woman to let her dinner guest wash dishes afterwards, no matter how much she wanted to help.

Edward, seeing my desire to help, brought me to the kitchen with his parents before he suddenly turned to me, his ideals changing.

"Has anyone given you a tour of the house yet?" he asked curiously, his gaze glued on me.

Carlisle looked up from the file he was holding and Esme let a dish clatter into the sink with a splash before she composed herself and snatched it back up quickly, hiding her smile.

"No." I admitted, making Edward's grin widen.

"Come on, then." He said, almost excited as he led me from the kitchen.

Esme looked oddly teary as she watched us leave, and before long, I was in the same room I'd found Jasper in earlier.

"The parlour." He said indifferently, waving his hand around. "The video games are here, and it's where Alice and Emmett usually hang out when they come over."

"It's nice." I admitted.

"Mom decorated." He said happily. "She loves interior design."

"She's good at it." I complimented, earning me a breathtaking smile.

"She'll be glad to hear it." He said easily. "She likes you, you know."

I blushed, keeping my mouth shut, and he chuckled again, leading me out of the parlour.

"The entranceway." He said, pointing to my jacket. "And the stairs. There's two levels above us and one below. The basement is mostly storage crap, so I won't show you that, Jasper and I have the third floor while Rosalie and my parents have the second."

I nodded softly, just as he led me into a different area.

"You've seen the kitchen, dining room and sitting room." He said, bringing me back to the second parlour-like room I'd seen with Jasper. "And this, is my music room." He said, opening another door.

I'd only caught a fleeting glance into it before, but now, I could see that the interior was a soft cream colour with hardwood floors and a large window wall at the back. It was decidedly dustier than the rest of the house, but somehow, it suited it, and I was awed into silence.

Edward most definitely claimed most of this room. Although I was still getting to know him, I knew that he loved music and he loved his piano. In a impromptu game of twenty questions, he'd divulged that his most precious possessions were his Volvo and his piano.

The baby grand was beautiful, reminding me of Beethoven or Mozart. I could see sheet music and practice books strewn over the small desk in the corner, and there was even a guitar sitting silently against the wall.

"It's Jasper's guitar." He admitted, making me grin.

Alice had always had a thing for country boys, even at a young age. She often watched CMT to get a look at the singers with their hats, accents and guitars…

She was a sucker for musicians.

"I'll bet Alice likes that." I said deviously, making Edward grin.

"He plays for her, sometimes." He agreed softly, running his hand over the white keys of his instrument.

"Can you play very well?" I asked curiously.

"My mother likes to think so." He said with a chuckle. "I was thinking about Julliard for a while…"

"Wow." I said, wondering silently if he'd play.

Maybe it was private…

"Mom grounded me from playing since I got drunk at Tyler's." he said sadly, sighing as he put the top down.

"It's a bitch to clean out, if it gets a dust build up." he explained, making me nod.

"I'll show you upstairs." He said suddenly, smiling as he turned around and brought me out of the music room, towards the large, majestic staircase. I walked up quietly to the second floor, which looked like a normal hallway.

"Rose will kill me if I go in her room, but that's it there," he said, pointing towards the first door on my left. "and that's my parents' room." He said, pointing to the door on the right. "The bathroom," he added, pointing to the central door, "but each room in an ensuite."

"It's nice." I said, examining the Dali painting on the wall.

_Atavistic Vestiges After the Rain._

"You like art?" he asked, making me turn around.

"I like that one." I admitted quietly, earning me a chuckle.

"So does Alice." He noted, making me smile.

I didn't know my sister liked paintings.

"Upstairs?" he said softly, pointing to the staircase at the end of the hallway, which branched up into the darkness of another hall.

"Alright." I agreed, holding the banister for support as I moved towards the topmost floor of the old haunted house- the one where I'd imagined the most ghosts and spectres.

It was laughable now, that I'd once been so terrified of this house.

Edward brought me up into a nearly identical hallway as the one below us, except that this one had no more stairs at the end. There were four doors- one being a closet, as I knew all on my own- and one for each of the bedrooms and one bathroom.

"Jasper's room." Said Edward, walking confidently forwards and swinging the door open. I glanced inside, not wanting to seem intrusive, noticing a large collection of books lying around on the desk, bedside table, bed, shelves and even the floor. Jasper's bed was made and he had a bit of laundry to be done, but I sort of expected neatness from Jasper.

His relatively clean room didn't shock me, and as Edward led me out and closed the door, I smiled softly.

"Bathroom." He said indifferently, throwing the door open and reaching a long arm around the corner to flick the light on. It was nicely done as well, with a claw-foot tub and a marble sink.

I suddenly wondered why such a magnificent house had no guest rooms.

It was as if he'd read my mind.

"We have three extra rooms downstairs." He explained. "Dad uses one as an office, and mom renovated the other two into spare rooms. Mom has a workspace off of the master bedroom."

"I was wondering." I said softly, making him grin.

"I know." Was all he said.

With that, he moved to the last room in the house and threw the door open unceremoniously, turning on the light.

I stared in shock as I took in the scene before me, watching as he waltzed in easily.

"My room." He said.

The walls were painted a soft, gentle gold, matching the wooden floors and soft, fuzzy rug. His bed was made and he had absolutely no laundry to be seen.

Everything had a place, and it would seem that everything was _in _its place.

"Wow." I said, taking a hesitant step inside to get a better look. Edward grinned and shut the door behind me, gesturing towards his long black sofa.

"Sit." He instructed, making me grin as I positioned myself on the couch, examining the far wall.

The massive window wall was magnificent enough on its own, but seeing the massive shelving that ran from wall to wall, floor to ceiling was what shocked me. Everything he owned seemed to be on that shelf, including a massive collection of CDs and old vinyl records. He had a good quality stereo system and a portable music keyboard, alongside a record player. The only space in the shelves was for a door, which I assume went to his closet or bathroom, with a small, hand-painted sign positioned on it.

A closer look told me that it said "bathroom", and the door next to his bed read "closet".

I sighed and smiled over.

"It's nice." I admitted, slightly shocked.

Who would have expected Edward Cullen's room to look as nice as it did? It was so _clean._

His face relaxed and he sat down at the other end of his sofa, glancing over at me curiously.

"What sort of music do you like?" he asked suddenly, rising to his feet again and moving over to his stereo.

"All sorts." I admitted, making him grin.

"Rock?"

"Sometimes." I said.

"Indie?"

"Depends."

"Classical?"

"Definitely."

His face lit up, and without hesitation, he stuck a CD into his player and pressed play.

Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy played through the air, and I grinned, remembering when I'd innocently stumbled across it when I was on the computer. I'd been about ten at the time, and from that point on, it had been my all time favourite song.

Even if I'd never admit that to Emmett, who thought classical music was for nerds.

"Clair de Lune." I said fondly, leaning back on his comfortable sofa.

I was getting tired, and I hadn't even noticed until now.

"It's one of my favourites." He admitted softly, making me grin as I glanced over. He came and sat down again, the remote for the player in hand, twirling it gently on the armrest.

"You look sort of tired." He noted, glancing at his clock.

Eight o' clock.

"Emmett should be here soon." I noted, knowing that dad didn't want any of us- son included- out of town too long after dark.

"Probably." Agreed Edward quietly, making me smile.

"You can rest, if you want to." He offered, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, looking almost asleep as I watched.

The song played on and I felt the familiar drowsiness seeping into my system, letting me know that it was time to wind down.

As my eyelids drooped, I didn't fight the feeling, but simply let it wash over me, sending me into a light slumber.


	13. Chapter 13

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 13**

EsPOV

As I washed the dishes from our calm, happy supper, I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I'd waited months to meet Isabella Swan- youngest daughter of our police chief, and as town gossip would have it- "that poor girl". Alice had won my heart in an instant and Emmett was the same- both children seeming bright and cheerful.

They lightened the mood of any situation, that much was certain.

When timid little Bella had crossed the threshold of our home, I had forced myself to stay in the kitchen. She would come to me when she was ready, I told myself. She would come at her own pace, and if that took longer than I'd have liked, then so be it.

I'd forced myself to cook instead of lurking curiously in the parlour, where I knew she was seated with Jasper after Rosalie had brought her in. I'd wanted to meet her, and I'd wanted to love her.

When she'd come in, I'd been instantly stricken with a sense of sadness and sympathy. She was a tiny little thing- taller than Alice, but somehow, smaller. She looked tired and nervous as her big brown eyes flicked around the room, but even then, I could see how pretty she was. She didn't have showy looks like my Rosalie did, but a more delicate, gentle prettiness that shone through even in her darkest hour

Edward sat silently behind me, fumbling over the bread recipe I'd given him. After his little stunt at Tyler Crowley's house, he was most definitely in trouble, and I wouldn't have him sulking moodily in his room because I'd stripped him of his piano privileges. I kept him busy, hoping sincerely that the distraction would bring out a kinder side of him… I didn't want Bella to feel unwelcome.

I'd greeted her kindly and received a stammering reply back that reminded me wholly of Charlie Swan himself. I'd always wondered what the youngest child was like, and now I knew- not like the flighty wife Alice seemed to hate, but more like the quietly stubborn father, who'd raised and loved her.

She'd helped me with the food and although I hated to put guests to work, it seemed to please her, and she rather enjoyed it. She guided Edward through the delicate process of bread making, and I was pleasantly surprised to hear my son conversing politely with her- something that didn't happen often.

Edward hated dinner guests, since he felt that meals were supposed private family time.

She'd been calm and collected by the time Carlisle came in, and although he'd given her quite the fright, she seemed calm enough around him. I knew he was her new oncologist, and I wondered how much he'd noticed about her, just by her appearance. My husband was uncanny with his patients- he had an excellent skill of diagnosing with his eyes, making him the envy of his co-workers.

I wondered if he could tell she was fading away…

The real shock came when Edward offered to give her a tour of the house. It was well known that my youngest son, although intelligent, was quite arrogant and frankly, rude, and giving our guests a tour wasn't on his list of priorities.

She fascinated him.

Bella agreed, and with smiling eyes, I watched them off, listening as Edward's voice faded off towards the sitting and music rooms, explaining various aspects of our home life.

Carlisle sat, stunned into silence as the two sets of feet traipsed up to the second floor, where our bedroom was.

"Did he just offer to give her a tour?" he asked in amazement, glancing at the clock.

I beamed and nodded proudly.

"I thought I'd have to get Jasper to do that." He admitted with a laugh, sitting back in his seat. Carlisle would be itching to give me a hand with my dishes, but he knew as well as anyone that the kitchen was my domain, and even such a mundane task as dishwashing was what I liked to do.

I loved my kitchen.

"She's sweet." I said happily, drying the plates carefully. Carlisle smiled.

"She's sick." He said sadly, making me frown and sigh. "You can tell."

"Of course you can tell." I said sadly, not daring to comment on the head wrap she wore.

She, like any teenage girl, would be self-conscious about it, and didn't need two near strangers discussing it the minute she left the room.

"Edward seems to like her." Said Carlisle happily, glancing once again towards the doorway. "He certainly doesn't _dislike _her, at least…"

"She interests him." I said with a grin, looking over at Carlisle. He coloured slightly and nodded.

"I know how he is." He admitted. "I was the same way…"

Edward never knew that his father- the successful, seemingly straight forward doctor- had once been a stubborn, disobedient boy just like himself. Carlisle had done nearly everything Edward was doing, including smoking cigarettes, but had managed to get a hold of himself when his mother had passed away in a dangerous car accident, and he'd been left with his brother, James.

James had always been a nice man- he was straightforward and gentle, much like Carlisle, but had more of a flare for the arts than the sciences, unlike his younger brother. Carlisle had lived with James in an apartment just outside of Seattle for his entire post secondary schooling, and when he'd become a doctor and James had met that woman, Victoria, they'd gone their separate ways.

I'd met Carlisle during his residency at Seattle Memorial, and being a simple nurse, he'd been my direct superior. Nursing had not been for me at that point in my life, since I hated all forms of blood and gore, but I'd stuck it out just to lay eyes on the young doctor who'd been stationed on my floor.

The rest was history.

We'd been married a year before James and Victoria met, and even though Carlisle was still rather low on the medical hierarchy, we'd began planning our future. We were moved into a house and settling down when James had declared that he was marrying his lingerie model overseas, and the two had come back from their honeymoon, pregnant with twins.

It had been a marvellous time in our lives, looking forward to two new babies. James was a good-natured man, with high spirits and a happy disposition, but Victoria had been the bane of our existences. She was crude, humourless and positively vain, going on and on about what sorts of nasty things these babies would do for her figure. She was worried that she'd need a caesarean section and then she'd have a scar- ruining her career forever.

For once in my life, I'd wanted to slap the daylights out of another human being. Babies were a blessing, not a curse, and I'd have gladly given up my figure to give life to a little creature of my own.

She and James argued constantly over what sort of mother she would be.

As the pregnancy neared the end, I often wondered if James regretted choosing such a woman for his wife. Although pregnancy hormones could be partially responsible for her horrid attitude, I knew that she was truly resenting her unborn children for causing her body such stress.

When Rosalie Lillian and Jasper James were born, there wasn't a happier man on the planet than James Hale. Those babies had instantly become the centre of his universe, the absolute focus of his existence.

Victoria, having delivered both babies naturally, was only focused on her body, and whether or not she'd have good looking children.

Surely with a face like hers, the children would be perfect?

She was a shallow, shallow woman, and at that moment, I instantly vowed to hate her for the rest of my existence.

Even James was irritated with her and her purely superficial concerns. He was concerned about Jasper's mild case of jaundice, and she was concerned with his nose being perfectly straight?

For two years, Jasper and Rosalie were a large part of mine and Carlisle's life, as well as James'. Victoria was out on photo shoots most of the time, so when the children did see her, they barely knew her.

It had come as a shock to all of us when Jasper had begun to speak with a slight southern twang, like his absent mother.

She was an absent influence on their lives, and it made me sad to watch their little faces light up when she was mentioned.

Just after their first birthday, Carlisle and I had discovered that I was pregnant with Edward, and we couldn't have been happier. James was glad, knowing that he was going to be an uncle, and Carlisle had desired parenthood more than anything in the world.

Victoria had laughed bitterly when she found out, wishing me a sarcastic 'good luck'.

Edward was born soon afterwards, and with his birth, Victoria had disappeared to Milan for a photo shoot, and James had to get back to work. Carlisle, being the working force in our home, had taken parental leave for a few months to help me recover and regain my bearings, and it didn't take long for James to come knocking on our door, desperate for help.

He needed a babysitter, since his employer was on the verge of firing him for taking too many sick days.

From that day on, we became the parents to our own baby boy, as well as our little niece and nephew during the daytime hours. James would make the trek from across town every morning and every night, only occasionally letting them sleep over when his job as a salesman forced him to work late. Rosalie and Jasper became accompanied to our home, and while Victoria came home for brief spells once a month to spend time with her family, it never lasted.

When Victoria, finally done with her string of photo shoots, had come home for a lengthy period, it had been hell trying to get her kids to go home with her.

They barely knew her.

I felt bad, having explain to a tearful, angry little Rosalie that she lived with her mother, not with me, and only when I assured her that her father would be home too, did she leave, sorrowful and angry.

Rosalie had always had a rather colourful temper, much like all the Cullen kids. Jasper, on the other hand, had escaped the curse and had a kind, gentle disposition.

That much could not be said for Edward, who'd inherited my husband's personality to the tee.

We'd been dreading his teenage years before he was even two years old.

Victoria and James had taken their kids home that night- both children rather cantankerous and unhappy to be leaving our Chicago home.

Our lives had been happily entwined even during Victoria's time with her kids, and I distinctly remembered one specific time where I'd nearly thrown her out of my house.

Good thing she'd left before I got the chance to force her out.

"_Rosalie, darling, don't slouch." Said Victoria in her simpering, sweet voice as her four year old daughter slumped down with a pout._

"_No."_

"_Rosalie Lillian." She scolded, making me frown as well, all the while fighting the urge to laugh._

_Rosalie had definitely inherited the Cullen genes for hard-headedness and strong will. If that little girl wanted to slouch, she was definitely going to do it._

_No matter what her mother wanted._

"_Fine!" she'd whined, sitting up straight in her seat. _

_I felt bad for my niece, seeing her all primped and dressed. Victoria loved her daughter's pretty face and golden curls, and she dressed her up like a little doll. Today, she was decked out in a plaid dress with little lace stockings and Mary Jane's strapped to her feet. Her hair was laying in its natural curly state, with the front half pulled back to "show off her cheeks". Rosalie's bright blue eyes were glaring indignantly at her mother as she sat, straight as a pin, her head up high and her chin in the air._

"_Lose the attitude." Snapped Victoria impatiently, turning towards me with a huff._

_Victoria didn't notice it, but I saw the usually happy blue eyes brighten with tears, wanting nothing more than a kind word from her mother._

"_Does she do this for you?" asked Victoria suddenly, looking Rosalie over critically._

"_She's a little girl." I said quietly. "She has her moments."_

_Rosalie smiled, proud of her "moments"._

"_It's very impolite." Noted Victoria sternly. _

"_I'm not in-polite." Said Rosalie, her confident voice filled with childlike indignation._

"_I hope you behave for your Aunt." She said sternly. "She already has two boys to deal with…"_

_I frowned._

"_Can I go play with Jasper and Edward?" she asked excitedly, looking at her mother with hopeful eyes._

"_You'll get dirty." Snapped Victoria, tossing her red hair over her shoulder._

_Little Rosalie sulked._

"_I hate you." She spat angrily._

"_Excuse me?" demanded Victoria, offended and shocked. Rosalie jumped to her feet, kicking off her little heels with vim and vigour._

"_I hate you." She repeated, her eyes ablaze._

_I sighed, readying myself to intervene._

"_Go to the corner." Snapped Victoria, pointing a long, manicured fingernail to the corner of our sitting room. Rosalie stared at the long, acrylic nail in disgust._

"_No." she said, making me frown._

"_Darling, listen to your mother, please." I said softly. Victoria reared on me._

"_Let me deal with her." She snapped, getting to her feet angrily. I frowned worriedly as she stalked towards her small daughter._

_Rosalie had only come into her height during her teenage years, and had always been a short little thing._

"_Now."_

"_No!" cried Rosalie, tears cascading down her flushed cheeks. Everything from her stiff posture to the disarray of golden curls on her head screamed angry._

"_Now!" Victoria shrieked, her voice livid. Rosalie jumped and her eyes widened in shock as her mother glared at her with cold eyes._

"_Victoria, don't yell." I said softly, making Rosalie turn to me pleadingly._

"_Don't patronize me, Esme." She snapped._

"_This is my house, Victoria, and I don't want you scaring my son." I said angrily getting to my feet. "Rosalie might be yours to discipline, but my son will not be scared of his Aunt in his own house."_

_She shot me a nasty stare before Rosalie scampered around her, rushing over to me instead. She tossed her little arms around my legs and hugged them tightly, tears falling._

"_Rosalie Lillian…" warned Victoria angrily, stalking forward. I simply patted her head sympathetically, not daring to speak to her while Victoria was prowling behind her._

"_I don't want to be pretty!" cried Rosalie angrily. "I wish I was ugly, then I could play with the boys!"_

"_Rosalie…" I said sadly._

"_You _want_ to be an ugly kid?" snapped Victoria, making me frown._

"_She wants to play, like every other kid." I said softly, trying to be reasonable. "She doesn't like dresses or fancy shoes."_

"_I don't care what she likes. She's a little girl, and she's going to behave like one." She said to me, standing up indignantly._

"_Rosie, darling, go sit in the kitchen and I'll set the timer." I said softly, deciding to impose my own form of discipline instead of Victoria's ineffective "corner method"._

"_Okay." Said Rosalie grudgingly, taking in a deep breath before she steeled herself and walked over to the kitchen, scraping a chair across the floor before she climbed up and folded her arms across her chest, looking towards the floor._

"_Don't sulk, dear." I said airily, setting the timer on the oven for four minutes. She sighed and sat up straight, Victoria glaring all the while._

"_When that rings, you can come down." I said gently, making her nod as she leaned against the back of the chair, folding her chubby little hands in her lap._

_I walked outside the kitchen and Victoria followed me, looking angry._

"_You should have let me deal with her." She said angrily. "She needs to learn."_

"_Who needs to learn?" asked James suddenly returning from the backyard with Jasper on his shoulders, smiling happily._

"_Your daughter." Spat Victoria, wiping the smile from Jasper's face. He wiggled down from James' shoulders and frowned at his mother, darting right back outside with Carlisle and Edward, who were making sand people in the sandbox. _

"_What did she do?" asked James curiously, always amused to hear stories of his fiery daughter's temper._

"_She completely disrespected me!" said Victoria indignantly._

"_She was upset." I said softly, making Victoria glare at me again. "She wanted to go out and play with the boys."_

"_Why didn't you let her?" asked James in astonishment. "She likes the sandbox…"_

"_She'd get her dress all dirty, and then what?" asked Victoria dryly. "She'd whine and complain about being dirty, and then, we'd have to give her a bath."_

"_Rose isn't afraid of dirt." Said James with a chuckle. "Where is she?"_

"_In the kitchen, finishing her punishment." Said Victoria sullenly. _

"_Aw, you gave her a timeout?" he asked. "What did she do?"_

"_She was rude, disobedient and absolutely ignorant." Snapped Victoria angrily, making James frown._

"_Careful, Vicky." He said softly, not wanting Rosalie to hear her._

"_I was _not!" _shrieked a loud, tearful voice from the kitchen. Before I could so much as glance over, the angry, offended little girl had bounded from her seat and dashed over, glaring at her mother._

"_Rosalie--" started James with a sigh, not even denting her angry mask._

"_I _hate _dresses, I _hate _shoes, I _hate _models and I hate _YOU!" _she shrieked, little tears pouring down her cheeks._

"_Rosalie!" said James, aghast at his daughter's transformation._

"_I don't want to be a pretty model!" she cried angrily. "I want to play sand-people with Jasper, and I want to drive a motorcycle!"_

_Victoria gaped._

"_James!" she cried when her voice returned, making James sigh._

"_Rose…" he started hesitantly, making me frown._

"_If you want to play in the sand, I have some old clothes upstairs we can put on." I said softly, making both James and Victoria turn to me. James nodded his approval and Rosalie cheered up, rushing to take my hand._

"_Absolutely not!" _

_Victoria reached out and snatched her daughter's hand before Rose could realize what was happening, and she shrieked indignantly, trying every which way to escape her mother's grip._

"_Let me _GO!" _she cried angrily._

"_Victoria!" roared James angrily, removing his wife's talons from his daughter's arm. Rosalie rushed back to my side and gripped my hand with her small, shaky one, her grip tight as a vice. Without waiting for approval from Victoria, I gently lifted my niece into my arms and carried her up to the room she and Jasper shared when they stayed the night. I put her down on the floor and she darted over to the dresser, pulling the last drawer open, procuring her old clothes from her last muddy escapade with her brother and cousin. She turned to me with hopeful eyes and I smiled as best I could through my anger and helped her change, folding the stiff little dress carefully as I tied a pair of old, battered sneakers to her feet._

_If she wanted to play in the mud, then so be it._

_When I carried her back downstairs, keeping the dirty shoes off of my floors, Victoria and James were arguing colourfully, making me sigh. Rosalie frowned and covered her ears as I carried her past them with dignity, earning me a nasty glare from my sister-in-law._

_I ignored her and slipped on a pair of shoes, carrying Rosalie around to the back, where Edward, Jasper and Carlisle were playing._

_Carlisle shot me a knowing look as I deposited Rosalie on the ground, letting her run speedily towards her uncle, throwing her arms around him._

"_I hate dresses." She declared, right before she grabbed a shovel laying next to Edward, slamming it forcefully into the dirt._

That day had been one of the worst for me, and afterwards, James had asked me to watch the kids while he took his wife home to discuss the ethical misconduct of grabbing their kids.

Episodes like that had come regularly afterwards, every time after Victoria had tried to turn her resistant daughter into her Barbie doll, getting nowhere. When Victoria and James had been killed on their plane home from Milan two years later, Rosalie had shed bitter tears over her father, but none, I suspected, over her estranged mother.

From then on, I'd been the mother to three children instead of one, and with the two new additions to our family, Carlisle and I had decided to put our plans for family expansion on hold. Carlisle had a large inheritance from his father, Marcus, who lived in Italy, so we weren't financially hindered, but three small children was enough for us.

As the three of them grew up, their personalities blossomed and their characters developed nicely. Jasper, the oldest of the twins, became quiet and observant, like his father was. Rosalie maintained her feisty personality and finally grew into it when she hit puberty. She became a lovely young lady in her own right, sharing a striking similarity to her mother with her looks, though never in personality. Edward had been a lovely child, but had grown into a difficult, challenging teenager, and remained so to this day.

As he showed Bella around our newest home, I couldn't help but wonder if she was to be the soothing balm on his rough personality.

Maybe she'd help him outgrow his angst-ridden tribulations and help him realize that life was too short as it was, without all the everyday trials he tended to magnify.

"Where'd you go?" asked Carlisle gently, watching me with his passive blue eyes as I sighed wistfully.

"Remembering." I said honestly, earning me a small smile as I continued with my kitchen duties.


	14. Chapter 14

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 14**

BPOV

"…if she'll let me." Murmured Edward softly, just as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, dear?"

Esme.

I opened my eyes slowly, grimacing as they met the light, and I flushed instantly, seeing Esme Cullen's kind face above me, smiling amusedly.

"Tired, dear?" she guessed sympathetically, making me nod a bit as I sat up and forced my eyes to stay open, making her eyes flicker with amusement.

Edward stood beside me, the phone pressed to his ear as he watched me, offering a small smile before he sighed into the phone.

"Emmett wants to know if you want me to give you a ride, or if you'll wait for a bit longer. He took Rosalie out to a movie." He explained. "It ends at eleven."

I glanced at the clock, seeing the red numbers flashing nine thirty.

"Can I get a ride?" I asked, abashed at the idea of falling asleep on Edward Cullen's couch again. He grinned.

"Sure."

Esme beamed at him proudly as he finished up with Emmett on the phone and hung it up, resting it on its stand next to his bed.

"You don't mind?" I asked nervously, earning me a barking laugh.

"I'll never pass up a chance to drive." He said simply, glancing at his mom.

"I'll drive her home, and I'll see you soon." He said softly. Esme smiled and nodded understandingly.

"It was lovely to meet you, dear." She said, clasping my hand in both her own as she smiled down at me, letting her son open the door for us.

"Thanks for dinner and everything." I said awkwardly, obviously not one with developed social skills.

I was rarely ever a dinner guest at _anyone's _house, much less Esme Cullen's.

"Oh, it was nothing, dear." She said, brushing it off. "Please, come again."

I was a little shocked, but nodded just the same. When we finally made it down the stairs and to the front entranceway, I grabbed my shoes off of the rack and slipped them on carefully, glancing around for my jacket.

Edward had it in his hands, open and waiting for me as I blushed, letting him help me slip it on.

"Thanks." I said softly, earning me a small chuckle as he looked away, clearly amused.

"You're welcome, Bella." He said softly, walking out the door to his car. Esme smiled after him before she turned to me.

"Come and visit anytime you like. I'll be around." She said gently.

"Thank you."

"Have a good night." She said happily, opening the door for me as I slid outside, into the dark, damp air. Edward's Volvo was waiting at the end of the stone pathway, idling and purring softly.

"Bye."

"Goodbye, dear."

Esme watched me get into the car and as I buckled in, she closed it softly with a small wave, watching through the front window as we drove off.

Edward was contemplative and quiet as he drove down his long driveway, into the dark thicket of trees.

"Do you drive?" he asked me suddenly, making me stare.

"No." I admitted. "I was in Florida for my sixteenth birthday."

He grimaced, knowing what that had meant.

"That sucks." He said sympathetically. "I love my car."

"I know you do." I said with a light laugh. "I've never really seen the appeal." I admitted.

"What?!" he spluttered, turning quickly to stare at me.

"Cars are fucking ace." He declared, making me roll my eyes.

"I prefer cooking." I said with a shrug, challenging him.

"You're a good cook, from what I hear. I can't cook for shit." He grumbled.

"And I can't drive for shit." I said indifferently, glancing around the interior of his classy car. "I know that's the steering wheel," I said, pointing, "and that's the gas pedal." I declared, pointing down towards his feet.

"You press your foot down on the pedal and steer." He said with a shrug. "Easy as pie."

"To you." I said pointedly.

"To everyone." He laughed. "Driving is not hard."

"Cooking isn't either." I retorted slyly. "You follow the instructions and stir."

"Touché."

I laughed, the sound ringing through his car melodically.

"You have a nice laugh." He noted, turning towards me with a saucy grin.

I blushed.

"Thanks?"

"You're welcome."

He fell silent then, driving down the main road at a speed that would have had dad chasing us down with blaring sirens and lights. When he came to my street, he turned, glancing to the right, where my house was standing- dark and eerie.

"You can see our house from here." He noted, glancing through the back field towards his dimly lit house.

"We used to think it was haunted." I said softly as he pulled to a stop in my driveway. "It was always abandoned and dark."

"Haunted?" he said, amused as he got out of his car. I hastily unbuckled my belt and by the time I'd managed to get it off with shaking hands, he had my door open.

"Thanks." I said, surprised. He smirked.

"My mother instilled gentlemanly manners in me at a very young age." He said softly. "Not that I use them much." He added as an afterthought. I smiled and moved towards the door, reaching above onto the ledge, where dad kept the spare key. I held it in my hand gently before I unlocked the door, noticing that Edward was still watching me, standing very close.

"Is anyone home?" he asked curiously, making me sigh.

"Dad and Alice are going to be back late and Emmett's still out with Rosalie." I said honestly, suddenly very aware of how lonely my house seemed right now.

It was spooky.

"I can wait with you, if you want." He offered, his cheeks darkening slightly in the glow of the streetlight. "It's not a big deal."

"I might fall asleep again." I warned carefully, earning me a grin.

"That's fine. You're rather fascinating, when you sleep."

I flushed.

"God…" I said in embarrassment. "What did I say this time?"

He laughed loudly as we stepped inside, and I flicked on the kitchen light. I closed the door behind him and locked the door again, taking off my jacket. He looked around himself curiously, and it suddenly hit me that although he was casual friends with Emmett, Edward had never been in my house before.

"Nothing too bad." He admitted, hanging his coat on the hook next to mine. He pocketed his keys before he gestured towards the rest of the house, letting me lead the way in.

"Do you want a drink?" I offered awkwardly, reaching into the fridge for a water bottle.

"Water's fine, thanks." He said politely, making me smile as I grabbed a second bottle and handed it to him, bringing us into the living room. Dad's flat screen was turned on to CNN news- something he always did to ward off any potential criminals. If the television was on, it usually meant someone was watching it.

I turned on a lamp and Edward sat on the sofa, leaving me to take dad's recliner as I sipped my water. He took a huge gulp before he set it down on a coaster, looking at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You were mumbling about trees." He said amusedly, making me sigh.

"I like trees." I admitted.

"Why?"

"It reminds me of home." I said honestly, glancing out the window towards the dense thicket of pines at the edge of our yard.

He nodded understandingly.

"The rain reminds me of Chicago." He said with a shrug. "We lived up there before dad was transferred down here to take over for that Dr. Snow, or whatever the fuck his name is." He said easily.

"Do you like it?"

"It's alright, I guess. Small." He said with a shrug.

"I love it."

"I can tell." He said with a grin, reaching once again for his water bottle. He removed the lid and rolled it between his fingers, examining the ridges and grooves on the inside.

"Do you get to stay home alone a lot?" he asked me suddenly, making me grin.

"Never." I said honestly. "Dad's a worrywart." I added.

"He's a cop too, so that mustn't help." He laughed.

"Definitely not." I said easily. "He hasn't seen many home invasions, but the ones he has seen have been pretty gruesome."

"Shitty." He noted, making me grin.

What was with him and swearing? He was worse than a sailor, or better yet- worse than Emmett.

"Have you ever been allowed to date?"

I stared at him for a long moment.

"I've never wanted to." I said carefully. "It isn't on my list of priorities…"

He nodded to himself, and I immediately felt awkward.

"Edward…" I started softly, making his head snap over. He sighed.

"I wasn't implying anything." He said quickly. "I was merely inquiring. I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now anyways."

"Okay." I said, falling silent again.

He continued to examine his bottle lid, looking entirely too fascinated with it.

"You're allowed to have friends, though." He stated knowingly, glancing over at me quickly. I simply nodded, watching him closely.

"I can be a friend." He said softly, putting the lid on his bottle again before he glanced over, looking uncharacteristically sheepish.

I smiled a bit and nodded softly.

"I'd like that." I said decidedly. He grinned.

"Good, because I don't think I'm allowed _not _to be your friend." He said with a slightly wary frown. "Alice might have made me a eunuch."

When he said that, I was in the middle of taking a gulp of water, and to his complete shock and amusement, I snorted into it, nearly choking myself.

"Jesus." He said with a frown, laughing as I wiped my face with a tissue, laughing.

"Alice wouldn't have dared." I said breathlessly as I coughed slightly, getting the water out of my throat. It had come out my nose, and my face was damp, and Edward, laughing, simply shrugged.

"I wouldn't put it past her." He said dubiously. "When I knocked you down…"

He fell silent, looking apologetic once again. The bruise he'd given me was still dark as ever, but it wasn't too sore anymore, and thanks to the pain medication, there were no more achy bones.

"It doesn't really hurt anymore." I said feebly, making him sigh.

"Yeah, I was a dick." He said honestly. "I am a lot, actually."

He watched me sadly.

"I'll apologize in advance for any asshole comments or whatever I'll do." He said.

"You've been nice ever since." I offered hesitantly, making him nod.

"And it takes effort." He admitted. "I don't _mean _to be rude, but I guess I'm a natural prick."

I laughed again.

"No you're not." I said firmly. "Pricks are _never_ nice."

"A part time prick, then." He said with a shrug. "I'm not always nice."

"You try." I said airily. "What did Alice do when you knocked me down?" I asked curiously. He grinned.

"She stormed up to the table and I thought she was going to rip my balls off." He said honestly. "It was fucking scary."

"Alice has that effect on people." I said nonchalantly, earning me a small snort.

"You wouldn't know it to look at her." He said honestly. "She looks like a little fairy."

"Fairies have been known to bite people." I said solemnly, remembering the books I'd read where fairies bit and gouged eyes out with their little claws.

"No shit." Said Edward passively, making me smile again. "You look fucking tired." He added, looking me over carefully.

"I sort of am." I replied simply, yawning lightly.

"I can go." He said quickly, looking ready to spring up.

"No." I said with a frown, making him smile.

"Stubborn."

"To the core." I replied, earning me a small grin before he reached over for the remote and changed the channel from CNN to Teletoon, where Scooby-Doo was playing.

"I love this show." He said interestedly, turning his attention to the television eagerly.

I laughed and turned towards it as well, admiring the little brown cartoon dog.

Two episodes of Scooby-Doo later, we both jumped as the lock on the front door clicked and the door swung open, revealing Alice and dad.

"Bell?" asked dad carefully, obviously displeased with the strange car in the drive.

"In here, dad." I said, watching as Edward stiffened slightly and sat up straight, no longer lounging.

"Bell, who--" he started, right before he spotted Edward, both men stiffening.

"Edward." He said calmly, just as Alice appeared, grinning at me. She smiled happily at Edward who offered her a small smile in return, shocking her.

"What's going on?" asked dad, leaning heavily against the doorway as his eyes flicked between Edward and I

"Edward drove me home since Emmett's gone to a movie with Rosalie." I said easily.

"You're home now." Said dad pointedly, making Edward clear his throat.

"I didn't want her to be home alone, so I offered to wait with her." He said solemnly. Dad looked taken aback by his sudden confidence and Alice looked sceptical, but said nothing as she brought her shopping bags up to her bedroom.

"Well, thanks." Said dad grudgingly, forced to acknowledge Edward's good deed. "She'll see you at school on Monday."

Edward grinned at Charlie's protectiveness and turned towards me as I smiled excitedly.

It was a sort of blessing on Charlie's part… he acknowledged our acquaintance.

"See you later, Bella." Said Edward softly. "Goodnight, Chief Swan."

"Bye Edward." I said quickly, moving past dad to the door. Dad watched me with a little huff of displeasure as I opened the door for Edward, closing it after him.

The Volvo started up quietly and drove off down the road, the lights disappearing around the bend.

"What were the two of you doing?" asked dad suddenly, turning to me with his arms folded across his chest. I grinned.

"Oh relax, would you?" I said impatiently. "We were doing exactly what he said we were- he drove me home after I fell asleep, he sat in on the couch, drank a water bottle, we talked, and then we watched Scooby-Doo." I admitted sheepishly.

"Is he your boyfriend or something?" he demanded curtly.

I flushed.

"No!" I exclaimed, hearing Alice's giggle as she traipsed down the stairs. "He's a friend."

"A friend?" asked Charlie dubiously.

"Yes."

"Boys like him don't have female friends." He said simply. "They have conquests and one night stands."

"Dad!" I cried, embarrassed.

"I'm just saying, Bell." He said with a shrug, hanging up his jacket on the hook.

"No, you're accusing. He knocked me down, he apologized, he's my friend. End of story." I said simply.

"He's not the sort of friend I'd have chosen for you."

"Which is why you didn't choose him." I said simply, shrugging. "He stopped smoking."

"Says who?" asked Charlie sceptically.

"Says Jasper." Said Alice suddenly, appearing at the bottom of the stairs. She grinned at me before she turned back to dad.

"Ever since Bella asked him for directions to the cafeteria, he's given them up."

"I doubt he quit cold turkey." Said Charlie obstinately.

"He knows Bella can't be around the smoke." Said Alice excitedly. "He _wants _to be her friend bad enough to quit… maybe he's not as bad as I thought he was."

"He speeds." Said Charlie wildly, making Alice grin.

"And his hair's a funny colour." She retorted. "Let Bella have her friend, daddy. She doesn't ask for much." She said softly, kissing his cheek happily. Dad coloured, not only at the kiss but at the use of the word "daddy", and fell silent.

"Be careful." He said grudgingly, turning back to me after a few moments of contemplative silence. I beamed, and before I could so much as thank him, he turned towards me with tired eyes.

"And for god's sake, get to bed before you fall over."

I grinned, hugging him firmly before I traipsed up the steps happily and crawled into my bed, falling into a dead sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 15**

BPOV

I didn't hear from Edward all weekend long.

After the evening we'd spent together- first at his house, in his _bedroom, _for goodness' sake, then at my place while we waited for dad and Alice to get back, he hadn't so much as peeked out of his bedroom window.

Because I found out later that night that I could see it from my room, if I looked closely enough.

Nothing. Nada. Nilch.

Not one word from him, and it sort of annoyed me. Weren't friends supposed to call each other?

_You didn't call him either, genius._

Damn subconscious.

The weekend passed by slowly after I got home, and because of the blustery, windy rain, I didn't dare step outside, for fear of catching some sort of cold or pneumonia.

Either one was fatal at this point, and dad had appointed himself my warden- he wouldn't so much as let me near the closedwindow, much less an open door. Alice had cancelled plans with Jasper to stay home with me, and although I felt bad, it was nice to have everyone together. Emmett never made definitive plans, and although he called Rosalie a few times after their date, they'd both agreed that any escapades could wait until Monday. We'd spent the rainy two days inside, wandering aimlessly or watching movies- whichever we felt more inclined to do.

Alice also showed me every single one of her purchases from Port Angeles, which consisted of a pair of Jimmy Choos she'd been saving up for amongst various other things. I wasn't the least bit interested in her little show, but Alice had been so kind that I couldn't simply say no.

Now, I was standing in my bedroom with my head wrap fastened and my outfit in its rightful place.

I'd been overjoyed to discover, not moments ago, that my head was beginning to sprout a bit of dark hair, making the wrap very itchy, but very much worth it. I had stopped the chemo treatments a while ago, only continuing on with the consolidation package which I'd been told_ could_ allow hair growth, once I'd weaned myself down to a small dose.

I couldn't have been happier. As soon as I had enough of to cover my head, maybe I'd forgo the wraps…

Maybe.

I grabbed my schoolbag from beside my bed and slung it over my shoulder, sighing softly as I forced the achiness back, walking down towards the kitchen for breakfast.

What I didn't expect was to find Emmett standing over a frying pan with a spatula in one hand and a cookbook in the other.

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously, chancing a glance into his pan.

He had fried potatoes, eggs, ham and a few vegetables, all frying together nicely.

"I'm making everyone breakfast, so sit down." He said without looking away from his book, pointing me towards my seat with his spatula.

"Alright."

I sat down, thoroughly amused before Alice and dad came in, Alice grinning as dad stared at his son, clearing his throat.

"I cooked. Sit." Was all Emmett said, pointing dad in the right direction. He added spices to his mix before he stirred it up, smiling to himself. Alice grabbed plates and silverware, laying them down on the table as Emmett grabbed a stack of toast, some glasses and his frying pan, somehow managing to bring it all over at once. Emmett dished out three pieces of toast per person and a heaping scoop of breakfast medley, grinning.

"I actually cooked." He said triumphantly. Dad, who had been looking wary and sceptical, looked somewhat impressed as Emmett sat down loudly, skewering a few pieces on his fork.

"It's not bad either." He said proudly as he chewed, letting the rest of us do the same.

"It's good, Em." I admitted, taking a small bite carefully. He smiled at me as I bit my toast, frowning at the three pieces.

I could barely eat two, much less three _and _a scoop of Emmett's mix. I gently picked up my third piece of toast and plopped it down on Emmett's stack, earning me a grin.

"Thanks, Boo." He said happily, taking my extra toast and forming two sandwiches filled with egg, potatoes, ham and vegetables.

I crinkled my nose, having an absolute dread of two different foods touching each other. I hated that.

Emmett, completely oblivious to the eyes on him, dug into his creation with a satisfied smile, chewing dutifully.

"Not bad." He admitted once he'd finished one bite.

We ate in relative silence, sipping orange juice as the clock ticked. Emmett watched the clock like a hawk, no doubt timing how long he had until he saw Rosalie again, and I snickered to myself at his obviousness.

Subtlety had never been my brother's strong point.

I finished up my food easily, rather fond of Emmett's new culinary discovery, and rinsed my plate, just as a knock sounded on the front door.

We all whipped around as dad stood up with a sigh and opened the door quietly.

"Hello…?" he trailed off, sighing.

"Hello Chief Swan."

Edward.

"Can I help you?" asked dad gruffly, looking antsy as he blocked the doorway from my sight.

"I was wondering if I could speak to Bella." He said shyly, making dad grunt.

"She's eating."

"I'm done!" I cried indignantly, earning me a small frown as he glanced over.

"Fine." He said gruffly, standing aside.

Sure enough, there he was- Edward Cullen, in his leather jacket and dark-wash jeans, his hair damp from the rain and a small, crooked grin on his face.

"Hi Bella." He said, stepping inside and closing the door before he got water on the floor.

Dad looked irritated.

"I was wondering if I could give you a ride to school… we didn't get the chance to talk this weekend."

So he_ had _noticed.

"Sure." I said easily, making Alice smile at me as I grabbed my bag and jacket, dropping the bag at the door to slide my coat on.

I blushed when he picked up the small, feminine bag and held it gingerly right in front of my family.

"Be good." Warned dad, making me scowl as he watched me leave the house.

"I'll see you guys at school." I said, facing Alice and Emmett as Edward offered my siblings and disgruntled father a small, polite wave.

Dad watched us pointedly through the window as we approached Edward's Volvo, and he opened the door.

I swore in that moment that my father growled at us.

_Growled._

"He's real pleasant in the morning." Noted Edward sarcastically, making me laugh as I slid into the passenger seat. He closed the door and jogged around to his side, sliding in easily. His jacket dripped water onto his seats, but he didn't really seem to care as he buckled in, smiling.

"He's sort of…" I started, unsure how to phrase 'my father thinks you're a shit disturber' in a polite way.

"He doesn't like me." Said Edward, amused as he glanced over. "You can say it."

"He doesn't like you." I admitted sadly, sighing as he nodded.

"He caught me smoking, and I'm sure Alice has had some stories for him…" he noted with a shrug.

"Probably. Alice likes stories…"

"And it doesn't help that I'm probably the first male friend you've had in a while." He said matter-of-factly.

"You're the first male friend I've had in forever." I corrected with a blush. "Unless Emmett counts."

"He's your brother. The Chief's obligated to like him." said Edward easily. "He's protective."

"Too protective." I grumbled as Edward turned into the school parking lot, laughing.

"You're interesting, Bella." He said suddenly, turning to me. I flushed deeply.

"Thanks?"

"You're welcome." He said easily, glancing at his clock as he sighed.

We had twenty minutes.

"How many classes do you have? Two, right?" he asked with a slight frown.

"Yeah, why?"

"Would you want some company during third?" he asked quietly.

"Don't you have a class?" I asked, confused.

He grinned.

"I have a quiz that I'd rather not write in bio." He admitted.

I frowned.

"You want me to skip class with you?" I asked, imagining Charlie's reaction if he could hear _that _one.

He'd drag poor Edward home to Esme in handcuffs, ranting about being a bad influence and disturbing the peace.

"You wouldn't be skipping." He reminded me quickly. _"I_ would be…"

"Okay." I said, surprising even myself.

"Okay?" he asked dubiously.

"As long as I call dad first so he doesn't send out the squad cars." I joked.

He smiled at me-- a full, happy smile.

"Great." He said. "I hate skipping in the middle of the day alone. First and last are okay, but second and third are the worst."

"Glad to be of assistance." I said dryly. He grinned.

"You don't have to, you know." He said softly. "I'll understand if you think it's stupid…"

"I _do _think it's stupid, but I sort of want to." I admitted. "I've never skipped before."

"Never?" he asked, amazed.

"No." I said indifferently. "It's sort of hard when you have a tutor in your house."

"Right." He said, frowning.

"I won't _really _be skipping, but I'll be _sort of _skipping…" I noted with a smirk.

"It's close enough." I decided.

He looked thoroughly amused.

"And there's Alice and Emmett." He said, jutting his chin towards Emmett's approaching Jeep. Behind him drove a shiny red BMW with a drop down roof, making me stare.

"That belongs to Rosalie." He said softly. "She likes flashy cars."

I laughed as Emmett glanced at me through his window, smirking as he waved.

"She's Emmett's wet dream." I said honestly. "He's such a sucker for girls like her…"

"Holy fuck!"

Right on cue, Emmett.

He jumped out of his Jeep at record speeds and Edward was laughing with me as he dashed over to Rosalie's car and knelt down, examining it.

"If you damage my paint, I'll cut your balls off." She warned calmly, making Emmett falter.

"I won't even touch it." He vowed. "But can I look?"

She laughed, nodding as she stared at his backside, which was bent over the hood.

"Pop it?" he asked hopefully, making Rosalie grin as she opened her door and popped the hood, allowing Emmett to peek at the engine and various parts.

"I redid it." She said proudly.

"Nice."

My brother was enraptured.

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes at the two car buffs and moved to Jasper, who nodded politely in my direction before he wrapped Alice up in a passionate embrace involving not only arms, but lips and tongues.

"Fuck that's nasty." Said Edward disgustedly, mildly repulsed as he watched his brother kissing my sister.

I shuddered in agreement, turning to face him instead.

He was much better for watching than Alice and Jasper were.

"It's one thing to kiss a girl, but it's a completely different one to see your _brother _kissing a girl." He noted.

"That's sort of hypocritical." I said honestly, earning me a grin.

"I know."

We both fell silent before he sighed, turning off his car.

"I think it's safe."

I smiled and glanced over, seeing Alice with her head on Jasper's shoulder and Emmett with his head still in Rosalie's car.

I smiled and he unlocked the door, stepping out quickly. I did the same and took my bag in my hand, not wanting to bruise myself again by tossing it up on my shoulder. It was heavy, but I held it firmly.

"Bella and I are going inside." Said Edward with a small frown at Alice and Jasper, who both looked satisfied and very much amused by his reaction.

"Later Bell!" Said Alice cheerfully.

"Bye Bella. Edward." Said Jasper, glancing at each of us in turn.

"Bye." I said gently, waving at all four of them before Edward placed his hand on my upper back and directed me towards the door.

His hands were warm.

"They don't give one flying fuck who sees them doing _that_… I'm sure there's laws against it." Said Edward disgustedly.

"Mr. Cullen!"

Edward cringed, turning around.

"Good morning, Mr. Varner." Said Edward dryly, glancing at my elderly English teacher.

"I suggest you watch your language on school grounds, or it'll be a detention." Said Varner dangerously, making Edward grin.

"Sure thing."

Mr. Varner grunted unpleasantly before he stalked off to room 104, shutting the door with a bang behind him.

"Down kitty." Said Edward sarcastically as he glanced at the door indifferently.

"He really doesn't like you, does he?" I asked sadly.

"Not real--" he started, only to be cut off by the bell.

He sighed, running a hand through his already unruly hair.

"See you at lunch?" he asked, making me nod as he turned around, weaving around a group of freshman to head for the stairs.

I walked to room 104 with a happy smile plastered on my face and a sense of excitement bubbling in my stomach as I waited for third period to come around.


	16. Chapter 16

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 16**

EPOV

Chemistry was a bore, music failed to interest me, and I was going absolutely mad with boredom by the time music class was finished.

"Edward, remember to hand in that assignment tomorrow." Said Ms. Lauder, looking at me with her sorry, slightly disappointed eyes.

I hated pissing her off, but today, I'd managed to forget all about that damn composition assignment she'd dished out last week.

_Oops._

"Yeah." I said dully, wiggling past her and out the door, ignoring the sad, sorry stare I received.

Even she was irritating me today. After a particularly nasty chemistry session involving Mr. Chider, the periodic table and an overly-horny Lauren Mallory, I was at my wits' end.

"_Hey Eddie…" said Lauren suavely, glancing at me through her nasty-ass, clumped eyelashes._

_She had a decent body, but her face left much to be desired. She gave me the fucking creeps._

"_Not now." I said angrily, making her frown._

"_Eddie." She complained with a pout._

_Why the fuck did girls pout, anyways?_

"_What?"_

"_I bought something yesterday…" she said excitedly._

_Oh for fuck's sake._

"_Go sit down."_

"_It's special…" she taunted._

"_I don't care." I said honestly._

_One time in the closet, and she thinks she owns you._

"_Come on, Eddie… we had fun last time…"_

"_Sure. _Last _time. Emphasis on 'last'."_

"_Edward!"_

_I ignored her, focusing instead on the supplementary homework Chider seemed all-too pleased to give me._

"_Edward, come on!" she whined annoyingly._

_Fuck off._

"_What?" I snarled, glaring up at her._

"_I bought us a present." She crooned, leaning over to run her hands through my messy hair._

_Why the hell did they all do that?_

"_You bought _us _a present?" I asked sceptically, swatting her hands off of me._

"_Mhm…" she drawled, moving her hand down to my shoulder instead._

_She pinched my fucking ear, and I grew exponentially more annoyed._

"_Stop that." I snapped, shoving her hand away. She giggled and move it to the counter, her long talon-like nails tapping rhythmically._

For the love of all that is holy…

"_They smell good…" she hinted._

"_I don't care." I said honestly. "Go sit down."_

"_But yours were so boring!" she complained. "These ones are pink, and they smell like strawberries…"_

"_You're not making my junk smell like berries." I said firmly, glaring. "Go away."_

"_Fine." She snipped, obviously offended as she took herself and her strawberry condom-filled brain back to her seat._

_I was in a fucking bad mood now, thanks to her, and when the bell rang for music class, I bolted like a bat out of hell._

Lunch was finally here, and I was internally rejoicing.

I half expected a host of fucking angels to come down, singing the hallelujah chorus.

The cafeteria was where it always was, still filled with the hordes of mundane students all traipsing to their friends. I shoved my way through a group of gawking, freshman girls who giggled as I passed and moved through the masses towards the back corner, where I sat with the rest of my group.

_My _group… like I had a right to even call it that.

My bad mood, however, didn't last too long when I saw Bella sitting at the table, her face concealed by Alice's shoulder, on which it was resting. Alice had a hand on her back and I grew wary, wondering who had hurt her.

When she looked up, she had tears cascading down her face and I immediately grew angry.

What the fuck?

Without hesitation, I jammed my way through the last giggling group of female admirers and stormed over to the table, slamming my hands down on my chair.

My knuckles were white, ready to knock out whichever son of a bitch was responsible.

"Dude…" said Emmett carefully, looking me over thoroughly. "Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

I glowered.

"What happened?" I demanded, turning to Bella instantly.

She looked up, tears still running down her face, but there was shocking, huge smile plastered on it as well.

What the fuck?

"Hi Edward." She gasped softly before she fell over in a fit of giggles, making me stare.

"Why the hell are you crying?" I demanded, my irritation rekindled.

"He…" she started, right before she collapsed into laughter once more, and Alice patted her back, smirking.

"Mike Newton happened." Said Alice honestly.

Fucking douchebag.

"What did he do?" I demanded angrily. Alice stared.

"Picked a fight with Tyler Crowley." She admitted.

"Damn, Ed." Said Jasper suddenly, chuckling. "Tyler kicked him in the nuts… I'm surprised they didn't fall off."

I smirked as well, glancing at Bella.

"She saw?" I asked, making Jasper smirk.

"Alice asked me to walk with her to the cafeteria and we came across it." He admitted. "She was worried for Mike, but when he saw her, he started to cry."

"Jesus, it was funny!" gasped Bella suddenly, wiping her tears with her finger. I stared.

"You're not crying?" I confirmed carefully, taking my seat.

"Not because I'm hurt." She said, sighing happily. "I remember Mike Newton. He peed in the sandbox in the first grade."

Emmett roared with laughter.

"That he did…" he mused. "I'd forgotten about that, Boo."

"Bring it up to Tyler." I suggested. I wouldn't consider Tyler a _friend, _per se, but he was a damn sight better than Newton was.

"He squealed like a girl." Admitted Bella. "I suppose I shouldn't laugh at him…" she added as an afterthought.

"I've never liked him." she admitted openly.

"Good." I said, trying not to laugh at _her _laughter.

Without further ado, Alice, Emmett and Jasper rose to their feet, leaving Bella, Rosalie and I sitting down.

"I'll grab yours, Bella." Said Alice kindly as Bella went to stand.

"Jazz?" I asked hopefully, making him nod as he waved. Rosalie said nothing, but from the look Emmett gave her, I knew he'd be buying her usual.

"I'd pay to see Newton kicked in the nuts." Admitted Rosalie when they disappeared behind the wall that concealed the kitchen. Bella giggled again.

"If it had been anyone else, it would have been awful." She said firmly.

"I'd kick him for you." I said honestly. Rosalie turned to me, shocked.

"Isn't it against some sort of guy code to kick someone else in the 'nads?" asked Rose curiously.

"Probably." I admitted indifferently. "But Newton might just be a _woman."_

Bella snickered nastily, making Rosalie grin as well.

"You_ do _have a bit of Emmett in you." She noted as Bella blushed.

"I grew up with him." she said softly. "He rubs off on you after a while."

Rosalie simply smiled and nodded, watching Bella with avid curiosity.

Rose had never, in living memory, been especially kind to newcomers in our crowd, but with Bella, she'd managed to accept her. I had a feeling that even if Bella _wasn't_ sick, Rosalie would have taken to her. She might not have said it out loud, but her soft kindness was Rosalie's way of accepting Bella into her life.

Rosalie actually _liked _her.

"Bella, what are you doing this weekend?" I asked curiously, making both girls' heads turn to me.

"Pardon?" she asked, politely baffled as I watched her.

"Are you busy?" I prompted. She stared.

"I don't know…"

"You don't know if you're busy?" I asked, amused.

"I don't think I am." She said with a flushing face. "Why?"

"You should come over." I said honestly. "Mom would want to see you again, and maybe we could watch a movie or something…" I offered.

"A movie?" she asked sceptically.

"Sure."

"Um…" she said softly, making Rosalie smile sympathetically before she turned to me, looking slightly exasperated.

I frowned at my sister before I turned back to the hesitant, blushing girl.

"Just as friends." I clarified. "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Rosalie's exasperated look disappeared and was replaced with one of subtle pride.

Rosalie was proud of me?

"Sure, I guess." She said softly, shrugging as she smiled up at me. "As friends." She clarified with a teasing smirk.

"As friends." I said honestly, nodding to her.

I would never put her in such an awkward position… she'd shared with me that she had a terminal illness, and I wouldn't ruin the time she had left by playing with her emotions.

No, it would never work.

"What will we watch?" she asked curiously. I shrugged.

"Whatever you want." I said. She perked up curiously, shooting a glance at Rosalie before she grinned.

"Romeo and Juliet?" she asked suddenly, making me stare.

"Shakespeare?" I asked softly.

"The sixties version." She clarified.

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying as hard as I could to mask my dislike of that goddamn play…

She giggled.

"You don't like it." She said confidently.

"No." I said honestly. "But if you want to watch it…"

"No, no." she said, still smirking. "It's fine. Rose told me you hated it."

Rosalie smirked in my direction, winking.

"You pick." She declared, making me frown.

"You've been talking about me?" I asked dumbly, glancing between Rosalie and Bella consecutively.

"Mhm." Said Rosalie, picking her fingernail before she looked up at me. "She asked if you liked Shakespeare."

"She said no." said Bella confidently. "But you will." She vowed.

"I doubt that." I said honestly.

"I don't."

"Suit yourself." I said with a grin. "I've never liked all that 'thou' and 'thee' shit they have going on."

"Hey!" said Bella indignantly. "Old English is beautifully poetic." She declared.

"It's a bunch of shit!" I protested with a laugh, earning me an icy glare.

"Do _not _go there, Edward Cullen." She said dangerously.

Jesus Christ, it was mini-Alice.

"I went there." I said wildly. She stared.

"I'd like to see you write anything comparable to William Shakespeare." She challenged cockily.

Where did shy little Bella go?

"Deal." I said. "I'll write you something decent."

"I'm a harsh critic." She warned.

"And I'm a goddamn determined son of a bitch." I said honestly.

"Shakespeare could kick your ass in a heartbeat." She scoffed.

I stared.

"Skinny-ass little fruit." I said, purposefully pressing her buttons.

She flushed angrily.

"I'd watch it." She warned, just as a tray was set down in front of me and I jumped in slight surprise. Rosalie had been watching the banter with curious eyes before Emmett handed her a salad and iced tea- her usual meal.

"Thanks." Said Rose just as Bella said a terse thank you to Alice and I grunted my thanks to Jasper.

"I can't wait to read it." Said Bella finally, shoving a fry into her mouth as I stared.

Fiery.

"What?" asked Emmett confusedly, glancing between us. Bella scowled at me.

"Edward had a few choice words about Mr. Shakespeare." She grumbled as I laughed.

"I called him a fruit." I admitted as Emmett cringed.

"Have fun." He said sarcastically as he eyed his youngest sister speculatively.

I grinned and began in on my lunch, suddenly very glad that we were skipping- well, _I _was skipping- third together.

ooOoo

When the bell rang for third, I pretended to walk with Bella to my locker as the rest of our group moved off towards their respective classes, and once the way was clear, I snatched up my jacket and offered it to Bella before we darted outside.

Bella had offered to walk home today, since it wasn't raining, and Alice was none the wiser.

It was still chilly out though, so as we walked towards the front door, I draped the expensive leather over her shoulders and led her out to my car, where I let her inside and started the heater.

"You're going to run out of gas." She warned softly, making me shrug as I eyed the tank level.

It was full.

"What do you like to do for fun?" I asked, breaking the silence that had instilled itself on us. Her head snapped around to me and a light pink blush spread across her cheeks.

"I read." She admitted as I smirked, nodding.

"I compose." I said, making her smile.

"Are they any good?" she asked sceptically, cocking her head to the side to examine me.

It made me want to laugh.

"I like to think so." I said defensively. "And so does my mother."

"Esme would love you, no matter what you did." She said softly, smiling. "She's biased."

I snorted with laughter at the utter honesty and truth behind that.

My mother would love me if I massacred an entire village of people with my bare hands… it was just who she was.

She was a very kind, gentle woman, and her loving character was both an asset and a flaw-- on one hand, she could see the good in everyone, but it also caused her to become very attached to nearly everyone she met.

I suddenly felt a pang of sadness, thinking of how my mother would react when Bella's battle was over.

"Why were you so angry when you came to the table?" she asked curiously.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, acutely aware of how Lauren's slutty hands had been raking through it just hours before.

"I had a shitty chemistry lesson," I started. "and Chider gave me a shitload of stuff to do. Then Lauren came and harassed me about her strawberry condoms."

Bella turned beet red and I frowned.

"Then I thought you were crying at the table." I admitted lowly. "It made me even angrier."

"Sorry." She said quickly.

"No, it's no big deal. It's not every day Mike get's his ass kicked by Tyler." I said with a chuckle.

Bella hesitated for a moment before she blurted out her burning question.

"Lauren harassed you about her _what?" _she asked, looking away with a disturbed frown.

Fuck, she didn't know about my…_ reputation._

"She bought strawberry condoms." I said with a sigh, making her face turn the exact colour of the fruit I mentioned.

"Why does that matter to you?" she asked curiously, looking very awkward.

"Because I may have done something involving those with her sometime last month…" I hesitated, making her grimace.

"Really?" she asked in disappointment. "Of all the girls you could get, you went for _her?"_

Bella had a mean streak.

"What do you mean, _'her'?" _I asked softly.

"She's a whore." Said Bella bluntly, making me smirk. "She was kissing boys under the slide in the second grade."

"I'm not necessarily proud of it." I admitted. "But she was there, and I was…"

I sighed, not wanting to sound crude.

"_Needy?"_ guessed Bella tactfully, making it my turn to flush.

"You could say that." I said softly.

"You shouldn't have sex with her." Said Bella suddenly, turning to face me. Her cheeks were redder than ever, but I could see the sincerity in her eyes.

"She's catty and shallow… not to mention mean." Said Bella softly.

"She's bullied you, hasn't she?" I guessed angrily, seeing the restful look in her eyes.

"Yes." Said Bella honestly. "She used to try and take my head wrap off."

What a bitch.

"We were only ten or eleven and I wasn't even in school then, but that didn't mean I didn't go out." She started. "She would find me at the park or whatever, and before I lost my hair, Mike would chase me around and it made her jealous, so she tried to make me miserable for it."

"Yeah, she's one of a kind." I said sarcastically.

"It worked."

"What worked?" I asked, confused.

"She made me miserable." She said shakily. "I still hate her."

I fell silent as she fidgeted with the end of her hair wrap, twirling it around her finger. She stared out of the windshield as a few drops of rain fell down, tapping gently.

"You should stay away from her." She advised softly.

"Yeah." I said, sighing as I glanced at the fallen rain as it rolled down the window, rolling quickly down the glass and onto the silver metal. A few more fell as we sat in silence before they disappeared into the blackness of the asphalt, completely indiscernible from the rocks and gravel.

I shivered.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked carefully, making her grin.

"You just did."

"Another one?"

"I suppose so." She said playfully, glancing over softly.

I hesitated and she sighed, looking knowing.

"You can ask it, whatever it is." She said. "I won't be mad."

I sniffed.

"How long?"

She was silent, making me frown as she observed my floor mat. She brushed her foot against it and watched as the little pebbles and grains of sand cascaded towards the centre.

"A year?" I guessed, making her frown briefly.

"No."

"Two?"

"No." she repeated, glancing up sadly with resigned eyes.

"How long, then?"

"Try five months." She said bitterly.

I stared.

"Five _months?" _I asked incredulously, silently calculating in my head.

She wasn't expected to live past the summer, much less her seventeenth birthday, which I knew from Alice's many ramblings was in September.

"Yeah." She said with a sad sigh.

"That's…" I started angrily, making her turn towards me quickly.

"Crappy? Unfair? Complete and utter bullshit?" she guessed. "Yeah, I already know."

I fell silent, not knowing what to do.

What did I _say _to her?

"Our boundaries are clear, right?" she asked suddenly, turning towards me with a careful frown plastered on her face.

"Boundaries?" I asked stupidly.

She sighed, blushing in embarrassment.

"Not that you'd want someone like me, but--"

"Hey!" I protested, uncharacteristically indignant. "None of that."

She rolled her eyes.

"--we can't do… _things." _She said softly. "I can't date you, or anyone else for that matter."

"I know that." I said soothingly. "I don't want… _things."_

"What _do_ you want, then?" she asked, not unkindly.

I hesitated.

What _did _I want?

"A friend." I decided, making her face brighten.

"I can do that." She said confidently, smiling softly. "Although I'm sort of inexperienced." She warned.

"So am I." I laughed. "I'm too much of a fucker to keep anyone around long enough."

"You're not a fucker." She admonished. I smirked at her profanity, sort of liking the rogue feeling it gave her.

"Fuck" was such a strong word, coming from such a fragile little thing as her.

"I think we already _are _friends." She gushed, making me smile.

I was glad.

"Me too." I said honestly. "At least my mother likes you…"

"My dad's not so fond." She admitted with a grin.

"Chief Swan loves you." I said honestly. "He--"

A low buzzing sound filled the quiet car along with a muffled ring, and Bella jumped in surprise.

"Shit." She said softly, reaching into her jean's pocket. I saw what I recognized to be Alice's old cell phone, with the glittery pink butterfly decal pasted on the front. She flipped it open curiously, listening.

"Hello?"

Even I heard the panicked reply.

"Dad, calm down--"

"Where the hell are you!?" cried the Chief worriedly, making me cringe in apology.

"At the school!" she said indignantly.

"Come home, please." He said, sounding both relieved and defeated. "I know that Cullen kid is with you, and he can drive you."

Fuck, he was loud. Bella held the phone away from her ear as she spoke.

"I can walk--"

"I'll drive you. It's raining." I pointed out.

"Damn straight he will." Said the chief, making Bella glance over apologetically.

"You know, dad, you could be a little nicer, don't you think?"

"No." said Charlie grudgingly. "You can be friends with him, I can't stop you, but I don't have to like him, or the whole idea."

"Fine." She said curtly. "But I'm going to his house to watch a movie this weekend." She said cockily.

She had nerve. I would never, and I mean _never, _mouth off to Charlie Swan.

He was a scary fucker when he wanted to be.

"Bella, please come home." He said, an air of defeat and relief in his voice. I started the car without hesitation and began backing out of the lot, just as Bella said a quick goodbye to her father and snapped the phone closed.

"I can walk." She said again, making me scowl angrily.

"You'd get cold." I said honestly. "Your jacket is in your locker."

"Shit!" she cried, glancing behind us at the disappearing school.

"Keep that one." I said.

She stared down at the too-big, expensive leather.

"This thing costs a fortune." She protested. "I'll give it back when we get there."

"You're not walking through the rain with bare arms." I said pointedly, remembering the short sleeves she'd worn.

"I'll be fine." She said.

"No."

"Yes."

"Don't argue with me, Bella." I said calmly, making her huff.

"I'll give it back tomorrow." She said grudgingly. "And thanks." She added quickly.

I grinned.

"You're very welcome." I said, pulling to a stop in front of her house. I saw Charlie peeking through the curtains before he disappeared and opened the front door, glancing pointedly at my tinted passenger window.

"See you tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

"Bright and early." I said with a wink, making her flush as she wrapped her arms around herself and took her bag in her hand, darting out of the car with a wave of her hand. She brushed past the chief, who remained in the doorway, watching me speculatively through my windshield.

I was shocked as fuck when he gave me an appreciative, thankful nod before retreating into his house, closing the door behind him.

Maybe Charlie Swan wasn't so bad after all.


	17. Chapter 17

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 17**

BPOV

As much as I'd wanted it to stand still, time went on, and as the days came and went, I grew closer and closer to Edward Cullen.

By the time I'd had three full months back in Forks, he had become the closest friend I'd ever had.

Although we hadn't known each other very long, we somehow managed to kindle a lasting, very much official friendship that was a far cry from our first impressions of one another. Edward had grown on me and I on him, and no matter how much Charlie grunted and grumbled, we continued to spend time together.

I saw more of Edward than I did of Alice these days… Alice spent a lot of time with Jasper at our house, and almost every time he came over, I left for Edward's. We'd discovered that it was much easier to simply cut through the field between our houses instead of traipsing up by the road, where we needed an actual car to get there. The shortcut put only minutes between our homes, and for that, I'd been entirely grateful.

Esme welcomed me into her life and home with open arms, and I'd even managed to converse with the doctor a few times. Esme was one of the kindest people I'd ever met and I couldn't help but notice how much her son admired her, even if he was her polar opposite. She always assumed the best about others, and as I'd learned from my hours of conversation with Edward, he assumed the worst. She trusted, he didn't. She was kind, he was abrupt. She was instantly lovable, whereas her son had to grow on you before you got used to his abrasive nature.

I sort of liked Edward's roughness-- it made for a very honest person. He almost never lied to me, and I really appreciated it.

On a completely different note, I'd finally been able to take off my hats and wraps permanently. After the itchy head, my stubble had grown longer and I wasn't able to wear the wrap without having a few dark curls poking out of the back and sides. I'd finally braved my family without it and Emmett had taken great joy in ruffling it up marvellously, causing a great disarray of chocolaty curls to sit atop my head.

That day, Alice had straightened it for me to increase the length, and I was shocked to see it near my ears. She pinned it back tastefully, obviously pleased with herself, and let me leave for school with Edward, who had complimented me and congratulated me.

He also informed me that he'd won twenty dollars off of Jasper, since my hair was in fact dark and curly as he'd guessed.

Apparently Jasper thought my hair would be lighter than it was.

In those months, Edward had managed to create a tentative sort of relationship with my father as well. Charlie had been entirely _mean _to Edward those first few months, and after I'd had a talk with him about respecting my choices and acquaintances, he'd finally laid off a bit and made an _effort _to be nicer. He got brownie points if he offered Edward a drink while he was in the house.

It had only happened twice so far, but dad was coming along. I had hope for the two of them yet.

I'd been to dinner with Edward's family, he'd come over to my place for meals, we'd gone to the bookstore and music store in Port Angeles, we'd debated over music and literature, I'd spent time with his siblings, we'd gone out to see movies, we'd spent nights inside, and once, he'd been allowed to spend the night at my place, when Rosalie's spring break party had been taking place.

Rosalie had gone all out on her party, and dad, worried and overprotective as always, had regretfully informed Emmett and Rosalie that I was not attending, no matter how much Emmett defended me and pouted. Rosalie had apologized profusely to me afterwards, not thinking that dad would say no, and although I'd been looking forward to the time with friends, I'd sort of known that dad would protest.

I'd been sitting alone on the couch watching reruns of _The Office _when Edward had knocked on the door, boldly announcing to dad that he'd invited himself over for the night.

Dad had been hesitant, but after Edward made a rather awkward speech about letting me enjoy my first night of spring break, dad had relented and we'd spent the night in the living room, watching the reruns and a few movies.

It had been more fun than any party would have been, and Edward had to agree with me.

He'd explained that Rosalie always went overboard with her guest lists, and he didn't want to have a bad reputation with the chief, knowing for sure that Tyler Crowley would bring alcohol for him and his chosen friends.

Edward Cullen was_ definitely_ a chosen friend of Tyler's.

Shockingly enough, when Emmett had stumbled home the next day, hungover and cranky with perky little Alice in tow, dad had given him the third degree and even used Edward against Emmett in pointed argument about proper behaviour at parties.

I'd never seen Emmett looking so angry with Edward for being well behaved, and I almost laughed.

_Almost._

The only good thing that had come out of that party for my brother was that he had finally gotten the guts to tell Rosalie that he wanted a steady, established relationship.

They were now Forks High's newest exclusive couple.

Now, it was finally Saturday, and after a particularly nasty few weeks with ice and snow, it was a fine April day with not even a raindrop to ruin it. The roads were relatively dry and the leaves budding nicely, returning Forks to the natural green colour I'd grown to love as a kid.

Forks was always green, but when the slushy snow melted away and the warmer rains came in, it always turned so much _greener._

Pulling a wide comb through my lengthening hair, I sighed happily, loving the feeling when the brush pulled through a knot. It was down to the back of my neck now with the front slightly shorter, and Alice- always the fashionista- had insisted on giving me bangs.

To her credit, she was a very good hair stylist.

Although I'd heard near horror stories about post-chemo hair, I was glad to say that mine was growing back fairly normally, without much difference.

It might have been a bit finer than before, but that was to be expected. It was still dark and curly, as always, and it actually made me look _normal._

I took immense pleasure in running my thin fingers through it whenever I got the chance.

"Edward's here!" cried Alice loudly from her place on the couch, where she was undoubtedly canoodling with Jasper. Jasper wasn't a very forward boy, and I knew from observation that Alice was the one who initiated all physical intimacy--

In public, at least.

"Coming!" I called loudly, snatching up the handbag Alice had lent me for the occasion.

Edward and I were going for dinner at my favourite little Italian place we'd discovered last month, and then to the cinema, where we were watching the new comedy movie we'd been waiting for.

"He's honking at you!" cried Alice again, making me roll my eyes as I shoved a few twenties in the bag, along with my house key and chap stick. I darted out my door and passed the living room, where I went to the front window and raised my finger to Edward, telling him to wait a moment while I bid my sister goodbye.

Alice had her head in Jasper's lap as she watched me, smirking.

"What?" I asked, making her grin widen.

"You'd think it was a date." She mused, looking me over. I flushed deeply and Jasper smiled as well.

"Don't tease her, Ali." He scolded, making Alice sigh as she kissed him softly.

"Gross." I muttered, making him smirk as he glanced over proudly.

"Prude." Accused Alice as she wiggled her eyebrows.

"We're just friends." I said firmly, returning back to her date accusations.

Alice was always seeing much more than there was between Edward and I.

"I know." She said exasperatedly.

Edward honked again.

"God, he's impatient, isn't he?" said Alice pointedly, glancing out the window. Jasper laughed.

"Patience was never Edward's strongest point." He admitted. "Have fun." He told me softly.

Jasper, over the last few months, had become like a sort of surrogate brother. Emmett would always be my number one, but Jasper came in at a close second.

"Bye." I said, smiling at him as Alice grinned and stood, hugging me.

"Don't let the waitress flirt with him." she said with a wink.

I blushed and rolled my eyes as I shoved on my sneakers- making Alice wrinkle her nose- and left the house quickly.

Edward had rolled down his window and was watching me with an amused smile on his face as I scowled.

"Impatient?" I asked, earning me a shrug.

"I know it bugs Alice." He said with a smirk.

"You're horrible." I laughed, sliding into the passenger's side easily. He grinned and sped off down the street before I could so much as get my seatbelt buckled in.

"Emmett said the movie's really good." I noted as he sped off down the road, turning expertly down towards Port Angeles.

"Tyler said that too." Said Edward with a nod.

"I'll bet it's full of toilet humour." I guessed as Edward nodded enthusiastically.

"If Emmett found it funny, there's bound to be some lame sort of "ass" joke in there…" he mused.

I snickered as we drove off into the darkness, travelling easily down the nearly deserted stretch of road.

ooOoo

When we pulled into the parking lot of _La Bella Italia, _I couldn't have been happier. Edward had taken great pleasure in teasing me about my rumbling stomach the whole way down, and once _his _stomach had begun to mimic my own, we were both ready for food.

We were seated by a skanky looking waitress who glared at me and winked saucily at Edward, making him laugh and me scowl. She took our drink orders and when we were ordering our food, Edward made sure to make a point of telling her we'd be sharing our dishes, so she wouldn't decide to spit in mine.

What a bitch.

We ate in relative silence, seeing the waitress' obvious fury when she saw me eating solely from the mushroom ravioli dish, and not from Edward's spaghetti and meatballs.

The garlic bread, however, had been absolutely delicious, and I'd been tempted to order more before I reminded myself that we still had theatre snacks to eat. The food had been wonderfully cooked and seasoned, and only when Edward snatched _both _of the bills from the sulky waitress did I become irritated.

"I can pay for my own." I said decidedly, leaning over to snatch the small white paper away from him. He smirked and held it out of reach, making me scowl as he glanced towards the narrow-eyed waitress.

"I want her to think we're together." He said quickly, looking overly pleased about the circumstances. "What kind of boyfriend lets you pay for your own meal?" he asked cockily.

"Screw you. Give me my bill." I said angrily.

"It's _our _bill, actually." He said. I scowled at him and he sighed, handing me the second piece of paper.

I grinned triumphantly, only frowning when I realized he was still smiling as well.

_555-2482. Call me! _

_Love, Tiffany. xo._

"Edward!" I complained, shoving the busty, blonde waitress' paper back at him.

"Ah, ah, ah!" he said with a wide smirk, jumping out of his seat and nearly sprinting towards the cashier.

"Goddamn it." I grumbled, collecting my handbag and his jacket, dashing off towards the counter behind him.

When I got there, the man at the register was handing Edward two complimentary mints and a receipt.

Edward had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face, looking quite proud of himself as he came and took his coat, wrapping an arm around my shoulders for the staff's benefit.

"Have a nice night!" cried Tiffany, glancing angrily at me as Edward nodded politely and squeezed my shoulder affectionately.

"Shall we go, love?" he asked, just loud enough for Blondie to hear, making me shiver.

"Oh yes, _darling." _I said in a mocking voice, batting my lashes at him.

He grinned and suppressed a laugh as the waitress' anger flared.

When we made it back to his car, we both succumbed to fits of laughter, only stopping once we reached the intersection.

"God, she was so clueless." Said Edward.

"She was entirely too forward." I said honestly, sighing softly. "But I want to know how much my food cost." I warned.

"Not a chance."

"You're impossible!" I cried exasperatedly. "I'm not incompetent!"

"I know. My mother always taught me that it's nice to pay for a lady's food." He said.

"When you're dating." I said dryly.

"She didn't specify." He said, amused as he watched me and my anger.

"Whatever." I said finally. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We pulled into the theatre's parking lot and he cut someone off to get a spot close to the door, earning us the finger.

Edward just laughed and brushed it off as he led me inside, not even trying to pay for my ticket as we went into the theatre, popcorn and liquorice in hand.

The movie itself wasn't all that great as Emmett had promised, but it was well worth the seven dollar ticket to watch Edward's face during the funnier bits. I'd never had the chance to watch him for long periods of time without his knowledge, but his face was very expressive during this movie, wrinkling and smirking at random intervals.

His reactions to the humour were funnier than the humour itself, and I teased him about it the entire drive home.

"Yeah, laugh it up." he said sarcastically. "You knew my nose crinkles when I laugh!"

"I'd never actually _seen _it, though." I said simply. "It was cute!"

"Gee, thanks." He said dryly. "You're nose crinkles when you frown."

"I know it does." I said easily. "It has ever since I was born."

"I don't laugh about it."

"But you could!" I said playfully, poking him in the side as he drove down my street.

"Don't assault the driver!" he said indignantly, squirming away from my finger.

I'd learned, by complete accident about a month back, that Edward's tickle spot was right under his arm, on his ribs.

It was often used to my advantage.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked as he pulled to a stop in front of my house, glancing over with his smiling green eyes.

"Sure. After my appointment with your dad." I said, knowing that he would meet me in the field, where he always did.

It was routine.

"Alright. Goodnight, Bella." He said gently as I got out of the car, grinning.

"'Night Edward." I replied, waving quickly as I closed the door behind me, waltzing up towards the door. Edward rolled down the window so I could see him as I moved towards my door, grabbing the key from my handbag.

I unlocked it quickly and swung it open, giving a little gasp of astonishment.

There were Emmett and Rosalie, standing on my entrance mat, entwined in a passionate embrace.

Edward laughed loudly from the car just as I stumbled slightly, catching myself on the door as they broke apart, looking awkward.

"Don't let me interrupt." I said sarcastically, earning me an unashamed smile from Rosalie and a sheepish, embarrassed one from Emmett.

I'd embarrassed Emmett.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Rose." He said affectionately as Rosalie kissed him on the cheek and gave me a small wave. She jogged out to Edward's car, deciding to catch a ride with him instead of running through the field, and I closed the door behind her, locking it gently.

"What can I say?" said Emmett proudly, looking at me with as much more dignity than he deserved. "She's just too sexy… I can't help myself!"

"Gross." I muttered, making him laugh loudly before quieted himself, not wanting to wake dad.

"Goodnight." I said, shaking my head as I moved upstairs towards my bedroom.

"G'night, Bell." He said fondly as I made it to my bedroom and shut the door, repressing another laugh.

Poor Emmett.


	18. Chapter 18

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 18**

BPOV

Today was a very stressful day in my house, and everyone was sitting on edge.

Especially me.

After my late night with Edward, I'd gone up to bed laughing at my brother's misfortune. Everything had gone very well yesterday, even if Edward_ did _insist on paying for my food, and I'd been completely, blissfully happy.

Today, I had an appointment with Carlisle- the first since I'd been home. I'd been putting off my doctor's visits, knowing that it didn't matter either way, but lately, I'd been noticing more stiffness and pain during everyday chores, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by my father. Carlisle would draw blood, complete a physical exam and ask me questions like all the doctors did, and if I got my way, I'd get a new pain medication.

The whole atmosphere was tense as I got myself dressed, reaching for a hat out of habit.

Frowning, I put it down and sighed, trying my best to prolong my alone time before dad fluttered and Alice mauled me, leaving Emmett to stare in the background.

I knew all too well how my appointment days went around here.

Gulping down my daily dose of pills with a sip of water from the glass beside my bed, I made sure I looked decent before I opened my bedroom door, cursing the squeaky floorboards as I made my way to the kitchen. Dad, Emmett and Alice were all seated, no one daring to talk as I moved to the fridge, feeling the three sets of eyes on me.

"Do we have orange juice?" I asked curiously.

"Over here." Said Emmett in a gravelly voice, making me frown.

Had he been crying?

I turned around and looked at him closely, scrutinizing his face. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, but my brother's voice sounded all too… _different._

I grabbed the pitcher of juice and poured myself a glass before I stood against the counter, watching all three of them.

"Did you take your pills?" asked dad.

"Yes."

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked awkwardly.

I blushed.

"Yeah." I said with a shrug, finishing my juice. "When do we leave?"

"In about an hour." He told me softly, glancing up sadly.

"Alright."

Awkward.

I drew myself up off of the counter and placed my glass in the sink, the resonating _clink _sounding much louder than it should have. I sighed softly and went into my living room, where my old, battered copy of Wuthering Heights was laying on the couch.

Thank God for books.

I started reading from where I left off, right before I heard a murmur of conversation start in the kitchen. Time to hover over Bella.

Sure enough, within seconds of the conversation starting, Alice peeked in, looking nervous.

"Hi." She said softly, sitting herself down beside me on the couch.

She didn't turn on the television, she didn't pick up her _Vogue _magazine, she just sat there, watching me with her big, sad, brown eyes.

"Alice…" I warned, making her sigh as she picked up her magazine. I returned to my book, momentarily satisfied before I felt her eyes on me again, and I knew her magazine was a pretense.

Sighing heavily, I put down my book and looked over at her.

Sure enough, she was peeking at me from over her magazine with bright eyes.

"Alice, I'm fine." I said firmly.

"I know."

"I'm not sure you do." I admitted, watching her put the magazine down carefully before she set her hands on her lap. Composing her thoughts, she turned back towards me.

"I worry." She said honestly.

"About what?" I asked, making her frown incredulously.

"About what Carlisle might find." She whispered sadly.

"Alice, we know what he'll find." I said honestly.

Surely she knew the cancer would have progressed?

"I know." She whispered sadly before she turned away from me, trying not to let me see her teary eyes.

We fell silent, and without another word, Alice rose from her seat and moved towards the stairs, seemingly calm, but undoubtedly ruffled inside.

I sat back against the couch with a small frown on my face as dad peeked in momentarily, blushing when I stared angrily.

"Sorry." He said softly, moving once more to the kitchen where I heard him sit down and fuss with his coffee cup.

I _hated _appointment days.

With a huff of impatience and anger, I rose from the couch and moved towards the stairs, making no effort to be quiet as I stormed up, trying to keep my temper down.

My tears were hardwired to my temper, and there was no way I could get too angry without the waterworks.

I could hear Alice bustling in her own room, undoubtedly trying to distract herself from the obvious news we were about to get.

I shut my door with a loud snap, tossing myself back down on my bed.

How I wished I could simply go back to sleep and completely forget about this goddamn appointment…

As I laid against my pillow, I began to grow more and more angry, but with what, I had no idea.

Was I mad at the cancer?

Or maybe at my family's behaviour…

Maybe I was mad at myself.

Whatever it was, I soon found myself growing emotional over it, and by the time I heard dad traipsing up the steps to find me, I was a tearful, angry mess. He knocked softly before he cracked the door open, coming inside gently.

"Bell?" he asked gently, glancing at my clock.

We had a few minutes left before we had to go… it wasn't like the hospital was far away.

"What?" I said emotionlessly, trying not to let him hear the tears.

"Are you crying?" he asked sadly, shutting the door behind him with a much gentler _click _than I'd been capable of.

I didn't respond, but pressed my face into my pillow. He came across the room and sat on the edge of my bed, gently reaching out his hand to rub my back.

I felt like a sad little girl again- just like I'd been when I was first diagnosed.

"Bella." He said gently, rubbing my shaking back softly. "What's the matter?"

I kept quiet, sniffling.

"Are you hurting?" he asked gently.

"No."

"Are you feeling alright?" he queried worriedly.

"Yes."

"What's wrong, then?" he asked confusedly.

I didn't answer.

How could I give him a response when _I _didn't even know?

"I'm sorry we're all so overbearing." He said gently, moving his hand from my back to my hair.

I let out a small sob and I felt his hands on my shoulders- the familiar, warm hands I'd grown to love.

"Bella…" he said sadly as he pulled me up from my pillows and into a tight hug, which I eagerly returned. My tears leaked out onto his dress shirt instead of my decorative pillowcases, but he didn't seem to mind as he tried to soothe as best he could.

"What's the matter?" he asked again, sounding sad.

"I don't know." I admitted shakily, still holding onto his neck.

"Is it Alice?" he asked.

"No."

He sighed.

"I love you."

"I love you too, dad." I replied instantly, making him sigh as he held on for a moment longer, softly letting go as he glanced at the clock.

"It's time to go." He said gently, swallowing thickly as he stood up and offered me his hand.

I took it instinctually and allowed him to lead me from the house right down to the car, passing neither my brother or sister on the way. He opened the cruiser's door for me like he always did before he helped me inside, reminding me softly to buckle the seatbelt. He got inside silently and started it up, gently offering me a napkin from the glove box to wipe my red, teary eyes before he drove down the main road, right to where the hospital stood, waiting.

By the time I got there, I was tearful again and slightly afraid of the massive building before me. It was one of the largest in Forks, and although it was no stranger to me, I knew it was one of the last places I would ever see.

I hated it already.

Dad sighed sadly and opened his door before he led me to the sliding front doors of Forks Memorial, the scent of disinfectant hitting me hard. As soon as we were inside, dad washed his hands with the sanitizer and handed me a mask, knowing that I couldn't catch any bugs while we were here. I put it on meekly before I sanitized my own hands, and we moved past the second set of doors.

The hospital here wasn't too large, but it had enough equipment for a small town healthcare facility. It had an ER, pediatric floor, geriatric floor, physical rehabilitation wing, a long-term care wing, a mental health wing, an ICU, an OR and recovery floor, a short-term care wing as well as a small oncology department. Doctor Snow had also run a small walk-in clinic out of one of the ER trauma rooms to bring in extra income for the hospital, and I was almost positive that Carlisle had taken that over as well.

Dad led me to the elevators and we went to the familiar third floor, where the oncology department was located. It used beds on both the short-term and long-term care floors, as well as some of the beds on pediatrics, if the patients were kids.

I'd claimed more than one room on the pediatric floor of this hospital.

Dad and I were silent as we walked the familiar path to Dr. Snow's old office that now belonged to Carlisle. I was still teary when we arrived outside and dad knocked softly, hearing a gentle "come in" from the other side.

Carlisle was at his desk, his blonde head bent over a stack of papers and files as he glanced up gently and sighed sadly, smiling at both dad and I.

"You're my only appointment today." He told me with a grin, politely ignoring the tears. I nodded and he stood up, grabbing his white lab coat before he led us out towards one of the examination rooms the oncology floor was granted. He unlocked it and let us inside, immediately gesturing towards the examination bench.

"Do you want me to wait outside?" asked dad softly, making me frown.

"No." I said honestly, earning a gentle, sad smile from Carlisle as he let Charlie in to sit on one of the padded chairs. He took the doctor's rolling chair for himself before he plopped my thick file down on the desk and opened it up, scanning the pages.

"Alright." He said with a sigh. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine." I said instantly, making him glance over.

"Care to elaborate?" he asked, pen in hand.

I blushed, and he smiled again.

"Any pain?"

"A bit." I admitted, making him frown slightly as he wrote it down.

He had nice writing for a doctor.

"I'll change the prescription for you." He said gently, writing the proper medication down on his white prescription pad.

"Any nausea?"

"Not really." I admitted, earning me a nod.

"Any headaches?"

"A few."

Dad glanced over worriedly, although he didn't comment.

"It's not unexpected." Said Carlisle honestly. "You're under a lot of stress."

I simply nodded as he stood up, taking the blood pressure cuff with him.

"May I?" he asked, reaching for my arm. I handed it to him easily and he wrapped the cuff around my upper arm snugly.

He checked my blood pressure, pulse rate, heartbeat, reflexes and all the other things doctors checked at regular appointments. He asked me about my eating habits and asked a nurse to bring in the scale, which was embarrassing. I weighed in at a sickening 92 pounds, which seemed to please him, even if it disgusted me. When my opinions were voiced, I was reprimanded gently.

"It's what's expected." Said Carlisle quietly. "It's not gross."

"It's underweight." I said sadly.

"Bella, weight corresponds to how well your body is able to process the nutrients given to it. Your body's under stress, it's sick and you're on a lot of medications right now." He explained.

"I know." I said.

When it came time to draw blood, I had to look away. I expected him to call in the nurse, but instead, he simply took the equipment from her and did it himself with his cold, clean hands. The needle pinched and I knew it would be bruised later on, but when the two vials of blood were drawn, he sent them straight to the lab for rushed results.

"It's not as if they get much blood to test." He said honestly. "Pregnancy scares, mild anemia, but rarely cancer." He said honestly.

At the end of the appointment, he gave dad the new pain prescription and told us to go down to the cafeteria for lunch, and that he'd page us with the results of the blood work.

That's what scared me most.

Dad obliged easily and brought me down to the first level, where the cafeteria was, and together we dined on fries and pogos. It wasn't the greatest, but it would have to do for now.

At the end of the meal we waited in silence, the only comfort being dad's large hand covering my own as he held it gently, his thumb tracing gentle patterns across my palm.

He was nervous.

We waited for ten minutes before Carlisle's voice paged us over the intercom system and we went back to the elevators, going back up to Carlisle's office.

He met us with a grave face and a few more papers in his hands.

"Sit." He said gently, gesturing for the chairs in front of his desk. Dad and I sat and he pulled his chair around to our side, making me feel slightly better.

Somehow, a grave doctor sitting behind his desk was more intimidating than one sitting in front of his desk.

"It's what we expected." Said Carlisle as soon as the door was closed. He procured a paper with all sorts of numbers and charts, and dad stared at it blankly.

Carlisle sighed sadly.

"The blood work tells us that your white count is elevated." He said sadly. "The cancer cells have reproduced, and at this rate, there's the risk of metastasis."

"It could move?" I asked, scared.

I didn't need lung or liver cancer on top of leukemia.

"It usually does in the late stages." Admitted Carlisle. "The cells reproduce and move around until they metastasize to other organs…"

"Has it metastasized yet?" asked dad sadly, looking worn out already.

"I'm not sure, but if it has, she's not showing any outward symptoms. If it _does _get the chance to migrate, she won't be around very long to suffer from it."

I let out a gust of air and Carlisle looked at me apologetically.

"What do we do now?" asked dad wearily.

"There are two choices." Said Carlisle gently.

Dad looked up attentively while I examined my hands instead. I couldn't look at the man who was giving my father my death sentence all over again.

Even if it was Edward's dad.

"We can admit her now and keep an eye on it, or she can go back home with you and wait it out."

"Wait it out?" asked dad nervously, not liking the sound of that.

Neither did I, for that matter.

"If we admit her now, she'll be bedridden most of the time. At home, she'll be able to move around and go about her day, but there'll be the risks the doctor discussed with you in Jacksonville." He said, nodding to me. "Infections, viruses, injuries…" he said softly.

"Bell?"

I glanced up at dad reluctantly.

"What do you want to do?" he asked sadly.

I hesitated before I felt myself tearing up again.

"I want to go home." I whispered, leaning against dad's arm. He wrapped it around me gently and held me close, glancing at Carlisle.

"We'll go home." Decided dad softly, kissing my hair before he glanced over at Carlisle.

Even the kind doctor looked tearful.

"Alright." He said gently, sighing. "Only one more thing we need to discuss."

"What is it?" asked dad softly.

"In about three months, you'll need to make a choice." Said Carlisle reluctantly. "When the time comes, you can either hire a home nurse, or you can be admitted." He said to me.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as the thought raged through my head.

He was asking me where I wanted to die.

"I'll hire a nurse, if that's what you want--" said dad quickly as two fat tears rolled down my face.

I sniffled before Alice's pretty face popped into my mind, and I shook my head vehemently.

"No?" asked dad, confused. Feeling my lip trembling, I shook my head and hid my face in his shirt lest Carlisle see my meltdown.

"Why not?" asked dad gently as Carlisle pointedly looked away.

"Alice." I sniffed sadly, making dad's face fall.

He and I both knew that while Emmett would be able to brave our childhood home if I passed away there, Alice would never be able to set foot in the house again.

"Okay." Said dad gently, nodding. Carlisle sighed and scrawled it down on the chart before he closed the file and sighed heavily, looking sad.

"That wraps things up, then." He said gently. "You can leave whenever you want."

"Thank you." I said sadly, offering him a small, tearful smile as he walked us to the end of the oncology hallway, sighing.

"See you later, Bella." He said. "Charlie." He nodded towards dad.

"Bye Carlisle." I said tearfully as dad ushered me towards the elevator and out to the car, sitting me down with bright eyes.

Without a word, he started it up and drove silently back home, pulling into the driveway and turning off the engine.

"Come on."

I followed blindly as my vision wavered with moisture, walking through the front door where Alice and Emmett were waiting.

Alice had bright, reddened eyes as she took in the sight of us and Emmett looked uncharacteristically grave before Alice sighed and glanced over.

"I'll call Edward for you." She said gently, offering me a small, false smile.

I'd completely forgotten about my plans with Edward, and I was grateful for Alice's memory.

"Okay." I whispered, taking my shoes off quickly and tossing them on the mat before I wiped at my eyes sadly. When Alice saw, she took two large steps forward and drew me into a tight hug, kissing my cheek.

I grabbed her tightly and held on, wondering how many more hugs I'd get from her before it was my time to go.

"Love you, Ali." I said softly as she sighed and let me go. Emmett watched me with sad, regretful eyes as I moved into the living room, where dad was hunched over on the couch, breathing raggedly.

"Dad?"

"Come here, Bell." He said hoarsely, reaching out his hand.

Dad never cried, and the sight of his tears only served to increase my own. I walked blindly towards the couch before I sat down next to him, letting him pull me into a tight, protective hug.

"I love you." He said softly, making me sniffle as I grabbed him tighter. I saw Emmett waiting in the doorway and before I could say anything, his eyes brightened significantly and he snatched the prescription paper from Carlisle off of the small end table and darted out the door.

Emmett would never cry in front of me.

Dad rocked slightly as he held on and the weight and gravity of my situation finally sunk in.

I was going to die.

With a small squeak of sadness and fear, I pressed my face into his shoulder and wept.


	19. Chapter 19

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 19**

BPOV

The rest of my day was spent wallowing in my own grief and sadness up in my bedroom, without letting anyone in to comfort or soothe me.

I needed some time to think, and that was damn near impossible with three different people hovering over you all at once. Dad tried more than once to see me, but I refused to let even him inside, and cry as she might, Alice was left out as well.

Only Emmett could grasp that I wanted to be left alone, and he only tried to get my door open once, to appease our frantic sister.

Alice wanted to mend what couldn't be fixed, and I knew she'd try until the very end to patch me up.

I didn't cry for much longer after I left dad in the living room, and although my father's sadness upset me, I managed to keep my eyes dry.

It was thoughts of my future that consumed me, and I found myself coming face to face with the unknown. It scared me to think of what might become of me after I left this life behind. My family had never been particularly religious, and I was suddenly wondering whether I _should _have gone to church…

Would it make a difference?

The thoughts wheeled around in my head for a long time as I laid on my bed, trying to make sense of it all before insomnia decided to set in. The sky had darkened hours ago, and though it was only nine o' clock, I could already tell that tonight wouldn't bring much peace for me, or anyone else. Still dressed in my jeans from this morning, I laid on my bed, stomach growling angrily as it demanded sustenance.

I hadn't eaten since lunch.

I felt myself shivering as the open window blew in the damp, cool air from the outside in my fruitless attempt to clear my head.

I hated appointments now more than ever. Every time we got bad blood work results, my mind was sent into a frenzy of "what-ifs" and "maybes". What if I'd have continued treatment? What if I'd never been sick? What if Ali's bone marrow had taken?

Maybe I would have lived.

What if I'd had the chance to have kids? What if I'd come through the chemo and radiation with my ovaries intact and my whole life ahead of me?

What if I'd never been bald?

What if, what if, what if…

It got me nowhere, only managing to bring a truckload of hate and resentment. I resented my own DNA for cursing me, for killing me. I hated the fact that I wouldn't get the chance to do what every normal kid did.

I wouldn't even earn my high school diploma, much less leave home. I would never drink, I would never get to drive a car, I'd miss Alice and Emmett's weddings, their kids, their whole _lives._

Edward would forget about me sooner or later and he'd go off to some fancy school and get married to some hot cheerleader girl. Esme would see her grandkids and Carlisle would retire beautifully. Dad would be able to grow old without the burden of his sick daughter on his shoulders, and everyone would move on.

I'd be stuck forever sixteen, and _dead. _My sister would be getting married, and I'd be in a box underground. Emmett would graduate from whichever university offered him the best football scholarship, and I'd be sitting, cold and lifeless in the cemetery.

Everybody would be able to move on without me- they'd all learn to live and love again after I was gone, and the idea that their lives went on even while mine had ended scared me. Knowing that I'd miss the most crucial parts of my loved ones' lives terrified me. I'd never meet my future nieces and nephews- I'd never get to see little Alice huge and fat and _pregnant. _I'd never get to see how Emmett's protectiveness would shine through when he had his own daughters.

I would never even know their _names._

And it hurt.

It was then, while I was sitting in my room, that I heard the familiar buzzing sound that signified a text message. There was nothing wrong with Alice's old phone and although the butterfly decal left much to be desired, it was in perfect working order for my usage. I sighed and reached over, grabbing it off the bedside table and flipped it open.

_Meet me at the field in five._

_-E._

I sighed and glanced at the clock dubiously, seeing the red number flashing nine fifteen, but slowly drew myself up from the bed and tossed on a sweater, opening my door.

The whole house was eerily quiet as I walked downstairs, phone in hand.

"Dad?"

"In here, Bell." Said dad softly from the kitchen. I walked inside and found both Emmett and dad seated at the table, looking over different university applications. Emmett was taking a year off in between his senior year of high school and his first year of university to earn a bit more money for his savings.

"I'm going outside for a bit." I said gently, pocketing the phone quietly.

"For what?" asked dad sceptically, glancing at the clock. "It's starting to rain."

"Edward texted." I said with a sigh. "I'm meeting him out in the field."

Dad grunted disapprovingly.

"I don't want you out at all hours with that boy." He said, crossing his arms.

"Please dad?" I said sadly, in no mood to argue with him tonight.

He must have seen something written on my face because a moment later, his arms uncrossed and he sighed.

"Don't be out too late." He said gently.

"Thanks dad." I said softly. "Bye Em."

"Later." Said Emmett quickly, offering me a small grin as he picked up another pamphlet for the U of W.

I left the house quickly, closing the door behind me as I moved around to the back of the house, glancing out towards the field. I smiled to myself when I saw the familiar form jogging through the wet grass towards the midline- where our properties touched- and I did the same, trying my hardest not to slip and fall. The grass was slick but I managed, finally coming to a breathless stop just outside my property line. Edward was waiting, facing the trees with his face shielded by shadow.

"Hi." I said gently, knowing how badly the voices echoed through the trees on damp nights.

"Hey." He said softly, making me frown. His face was concealed, but I detected a distinct note of bitterness in his voice that had me confused.

He hadn't spoken to me like that since the first day we'd met.

"Edward?" I asked, placing a hand on his arm. He was warm- that much was certain- but he was also shaky and stiff.

He was mad.

"What's up?" I asked concernedly, earning me a scoff.

"Nothing." He said darkly, brushing my hand off of his arm.

I frowned and took a step back.

"You're mad." I accused.

He laughed bitterly, saying nothing.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly.

Had he fought with his parents? Jasper, perhaps?

Edward was never a happy camper after he'd argued with his mother…

"What happened?" he asked hoarsely, finally turning to face me fully. His features were illuminated by the dim porch light from our porches, and though they were dull and far off, I could see the distinct traces of tears on his cheeks.

He was crying.

"Fuck, Bella!" he shouted suddenly, making me jump as I stepped back. "You _know _what happened!"

I stared in shock.

"What?" I asked, confused as he closed the gap between us, gripping my shoulders.

"My dad told me." He said angrily. "He fucking told me!"

"Told you what?" I yelped confusedly, making his face fall.

"He wasn't supposed to tell." Said Edward. "But I saw the file he took home, and I saw what it said…" he rambled sadly. "I saw it!"

"What?" I asked again, growing irritated.

"Your papers!"

I blanched, making him shake his head.

"What did it say?" I hesitated, making him emit a strangled, incredulous noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"That you're dying!" he accused harshly.

I flinched.

"You knew that from the start." I said darkly. "What's changed?"

He stared.

"You're going to die." He repeated, making me tear up as well.

"I've known that for nearly four months." I said angrily. "You've known for almost as long."

He stared at me.

"You never told me you stopped treatment." He said angrily.

"Excuse me?"

"You stopped the therapy." He said angrily. "It was on the chart!"

"I had no choice-" I started shakily.

"You _did _have a choice!" he shouted, his voice resonating off of the trees.

Two tears escaped as I took in his anger.

He was mad at me.

"It wasn't working…" I said softly, trying to escape his grip without success.

"It would have." He insisted. "I've read books and seen papers of dad's… It would have worked!"

"You don't know what you're talking about." I snapped angrily.

His eyes flashed.

"You're just giving up!" he asked incredulously looking more angry than he was sad now.

I fumed.

"Fuck you!" I shouted angrily as I shoved his hands off of me, earning me a scowl.

"You should have kept it going." He said loudly, pacing in place. "You could have lived!"

"No!" I shouted desperately.

He was wrong…

Wasn't he?

"It was resisting. It won."

"You _let _it win." He said scathingly, looking betrayed and hurt.

"What does it matter to you anyways?" I demanded angrily, shaking with the force of my emotion.

His face crumpled before more tears escaped his mossy green eyes.

"If you'd have kept going, I wouldn't be losing the only fucking friend I've ever had!" he shouted.

I stared.

"_You're _the victim here?" I shouted shrilly. "You're an asshole!"

"I know!" he roared. "I know I'm a selfish fucker." He added in a whisper.

"I hate you." I spewed, earning me a sad stare of shock.

"Bella…" he said, his voice much calmer.

I didn't give one flying fuck what he had to say.

With his resentful, angry words burned into my brain, I felt my head start to ache and my vision wobbled before I turned on my heel and ran faster than I thought I could ever manage.

"Bella!" his voice was worried as I sprinted away, my feet slamming into the ground and sending droplets of dew flying up from the grass. The misty rain managed to soak my hair as I flew up to the lit porch, swinging the front door open with intense strength, making both my father and brother jump in surprise.

"Bella!" said dad worriedly as I launched my soaked sweater at the wall and kicked off my muddy shoes, relying solely on my memory to lead me to my bedroom. I walked to the stairs and sure enough, I slammed into the banister before I found the first step and flew up the stairs as fast as I could go and slammed my bedroom door behind me.

Seconds after I'd flung myself down on my bed, the door swung open once more and dad, beyond the common courtesy of knocking, flew to my side.

"Bella." He said fearfully. "Talk to me, baby."

I wailed into my pillows, my body shaking with tears and exertion as my pillow absorbed the moisture.

He was angry with me for giving up- the very thing I'd tried my hardest not to do.

Maybe I _had _given up too soon…

Had I brought about my own impending death?

"Come here, baby girl." Said dad gently, pulling me easily into a firm, worried hug.

It had been years since he called me "baby girl".

"Jesus Christ, Bella." He said worriedly. "You're frozen."

I shivered violently, only serving to prove his point as he gently lifted me onto his lap and hollered for my brother. Alice was still over at Jasper's place, and without hesitation, my angry brother appeared in my doorway, looking very pissed.

"What the hell did he do to you?" asked Emmett indignantly.

I gave a small, quivering wail as dad held me closer.

"Start a warm shower." Ordered dad softly, his own voice wavering as Emmett stepped out, bustling around in mine and Alice's shared washroom. I heard him start up the shower and without waiting, dad picked me up, wet clothes and all, and carried me past Emmett in the hallway, and right into the bathroom. He tossed the flowered shower curtain aside and gently deposited me under the steaming stream of water, making me shiver as my cold body hit it, clothes and all.

"Emmett, can you call Alice home please?" asked dad quietly as Emmett observed me from outside the door.

"I'll fucking kill him." he said decidedly as he brought out his cell phone and dialled the Cullen's home number.

I shivered in the stream of water as Emmett spoke over his phone. Dad's hand was in the shower with me, gently stroking back my sopping wet hair from my tearstained forehead.

"She's gone already down to Angela Weber's." Said Emmett, frowning as he covered the mouthpiece, glancing at dad.

Alice had actually made plans tonight, finally dragging up the will to leave me alone for one night with dad and Em.

Dad looked suddenly panicked.

"Is Esme there, then?" he asked.

"Esme?" asked Emmett into the phone. More tears fell as I sat under the hot stream of water, and Emmett's words were muffled by the steady pattering of the warm water on my body and the bottom of the tub. He and dad shared a few more words as dad nodded sadly and waited silently by the edge of the tub, his own clothing getting very wet as he held onto any part of me he could reach.

I was still shivering, and he seemed nervous.

"Esme's coming down, honey." He said gently. "She'll fix you up."

I sniffled and nodded softly.

I needed a mother, and Esme was readily available.

The steam from the shower rose in thick plumes as it hit my cold body and chilled clothing, and when Esme finally appeared in the doorway, I felt a strange sense of nostalgia.

She looked so much like Edward…

"Oh, thank god." Said dad, relieved as Esme stepped into the washroom, her face downcast and worried. Dad kissed my cheek, getting his own head wet in the process before he stepped out and closed the door behind him, letting Esme take over.

"Hi sweetheart." She said softly, gently returning the shower's spray to that of the silver tap, placing in the plug to contain the water in the claw-footed tub.

I felt like an incompetent as Esme helped me strip down to my underpants, instantly noticing the inflamed, nearly black bruise where I'd hit the banister. Even my feet were darkening, thanks to my sprinting. She gently grabbed a bottle of sweet-scented shampoo from the shelf and massaged my scalp.

No one but Alice had ever done anything like this for me, and it had never been when I was competent enough to do it myself. The nurses had helped me occasionally, but when I'd come home from Seattle, drained and exhausted from treatment, Alice would sometimes wash my hair for me, and while Esme scrubbed, I felt more tears seeping through my closed eyelids.

I wondered what having a _real _mother would be like…

"I know what he said." said Esme suddenly, sounding very sad indeed. She took a small cup from the counter and filled it, rinsing out my short hair.

I let out a small, sad squeak and she sighed, finishing her rinsing before she applied a dollop of conditioner.

"I'm sorry he said that to you, and so is he." She whispered softly.

"He's mad at me." I said pitifully. She frowned deeply before she took my face in her soft hands.

"He's not mad at _you."_ She said gently. "He's mad at the situation… Edward's never been very good at channelling his emotions properly."

I sniffled before I grabbed the washcloth and some soap, scrubbing my arms and legs down.

I didn't dare approach that bruise with anything, washcloth included.

"He's sorry." She repeated.

I didn't reply and without hesitation, I rinsed out my conditioner with tearful, swollen eyes before I pulled the plug and accepted the towels she handed me. I wrapped up my wet hair in one and concealed myself in the other, drying myself off carefully before she handed me the pyjamas I'd set in here this morning.

It took a great deal of effort and a bit of help from Esme to get them on, but once I did, I felt much better. She helped me draw the comb through my hair and I let it hang loosely around my shoulders while she drew me up and brought me to my bedroom, where dad was waiting.

"Are you okay, Bell?" he said gently, coming to take me from a sad, subdued Esme.

I sniffled and simply hugged him tightly, earning me an affectionate, gentle hug.

"I'm sorry, Charlie." Said Esme softly before she squeezed my hand kindly and said her goodbyes, obviously ready to return to her own home to deal with her own family problems.

"You're a lifesaver, Esme." Said dad graciously. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome." She said sincerely. "Try to get some sleep, Bella." She advised.

I nodded, and almost as quickly as she'd appeared, Esme Cullen disappeared, right out the front door.

"Are you cold?" asked dad worriedly, making me frown as I shook my head, trying not to cry.

_He's mad at the situation…_

"He's mad at me." I said suddenly, making dad glance over quickly.

"Edward?" he confirmed confusedly.

"He doesn't think I should have given up." I whispered, my voice sounding tortured and sad even to my ears.

"Isabella Marie." He scolded firmly. "Don't you dare. You didn't _give up."_

"What if it would have worked?" I asked wildly, making him sigh angrily. "What if it was too soon to tell?"

"It wasn't." said dad firmly. "You know what the doctors said…"

He sounded choked as well as he looked me over.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, right before I was drawn into another tight hug before I was gently laid down in my bed, covered with two different blankets.

"None of that." He said gruffly. "That boy's going to get what's coming to him, but for now, you get some sleep, okay?"

I nodded softly before he offered me a gentle, but very tired smile and stood from his place.

"Love you." He said gently on the way out.

"Ditto." I replied softly as he closed the door with a small _click, _leaving me in the peaceful, darkened room.


	20. Chapter 20

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 20**

EPOV

"I hate you." She spat angrily, glaring ferociously at me.

_I hate you…_

It was like she'd slapped me, and I instantly came to my senses.

"Bella…" I started, aghast at my own forward rudeness.

I'd just fucked everything up.

Without so much as a last word, she wheeled around faster than I thought she ever could and ran like a bat out of hell towards her house, disappearing before my eyes.

"Bella!" I hollered, poising myself to chase her.

_I hate you…_

Her scornful words lodged themselves in my brain and I immediately felt the sting of guilt defeat. With my temper flaring once more, I swore loudly, hearing her front door slam shut before I wheeled around and ran as fast as I could towards the house, remembering the fateful papers that had driven me here in the first place.

_I watched as dad came in and dropped a few files down on the table with a sigh of defeat. The topmost file- a thick, heavy looking one- slid down from the pile and fell to the floor just as dad left the room with bothered eyes, most likely going to change._

_I gently walked over and picked up the folder and gathered up the scattered papers on the floor._

Swan, Isabella Marie. DOB: 09-13-92

_I was intrigued, and without really thinking, I grabbed the doctor's notes, scanning them over._

_Bella wouldn't mind very much… she'd told me everything there was to know about her illness, but I was curious about what the old Doctor at the Mayo clinic had to say about her._

"_Patient presented with late stage leukemia…"_

_Blah, blah, blah._

"…_treatments were stopped upon patient's request with the advice of her attending physician."_

_Treatments were stopped upon patient's request?_

_My heart clenched painfully as those words burned themselves into my memory, and I was filled with red hot anger._

_Did she _want _to die?_

_Instantly, I whipped out my phone, drying my eyes hastily as I sent her a quick text message._

I was a selfish motherfucker. What right did I have to accuse her of anything? What gave me permission to direct her life?

She hated me.

I'd fucked up the only real friendship I'd ever had, and even worse, I'd ruined the only friendship _Bella _ever had.

Some friend I was.

With my anger sitting right on the surface, I stormed back to my house and flung my front door open, seeing mom's startled face as she dropped her broom in surprise.

"Hello, dear." She said softly, sweeping the pile of dirt into the dustpan.

I scowled angrily at her and jammed my hands in my pocket as I resisted the urge to put my fist through her drywall.

My fist clenched down on something in my pocket and I was immediately hit with an intense need for a nicotine fix.

And maybe some nice, cold beer to go along with it, but the cigarettes would suffice for now.

Without so much as glancing at my mother, I shoved past her and went to the back door before I yanked one of the old cigarettes from my pocket and lit it up with the nearly dead lighter, taking a long drag.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" I heard my mother cry.

She stormed right out the back door, her face ablaze with indignant anger.

"Not in my house." She snarled, reaching over for the smoke.

"Fuck off." I snapped, earning me a sad gasp as she stared at me with wide, green eyes, looking horrified.

Fuck.

Another tear cascaded down my face as I took a long drag, only glancing over long enough to see her retreating into the house in stony silence, obviously upset.

Fuck my life.

"What the fuck man?"

Oh for the love of god…

"Go away." I snapped angrily at Jasper, who was watching me from the screen.

"Get your sorry ass in here and apologize." He snapped angrily.

"Fuck you too." I spat, turning towards him with tearful eyes. He noticed and his face softened, but he didn't stand down.

"You've made her cry." Accused Jasper. "Put that damn thing out and say sorry."

I snarled at him before he scoffed loudly and came outside, slamming the screen behind him. Dad appeared at the bottom of the steps looking worriedly at my tearful mother before he caught on, and Jasper stood before me, tall and menacing.

"Now." He said dangerously.

"No."

I took another long drag and tried to stop my whiny-assed crying, but before I could get a handle on myself, Jasper reached out and ripped the cigarette from my mouth, throwing it into the wet grass.

I saw red, and before I could process what I was doing, my fist flew out and collided with his jaw, earning me a grunt.

Mom screamed as dad let out an uncharacteristic curse, lunging for the door.

"You son of a bitch." Said Jasper, holding his face with a wince, glancing at me as I fumed, my entire body shaking.

"Edward!" called dad firmly, reaching out and grabbing my shoulders. He shoved me towards the door and moved to Jasper, moving his hand to see the bruise.

"Get your ass inside, now." He said firmly, glaring at me with malice I'd never seen before.

Mom stepped aside and gave me a wide berth, looking absolutely horrified.

"Get into the living room, now." Said dad in a fucking scary voice, pointing me with shaking hands towards the couch.

I stood still, hesitating for a moment before he lost his cool.

"I said _now!" _he shouted, making me jump in shock before I moved my sorry ass into the living room, standing stiffly by the large window.

I heard a small sniffle before mom appeared in the doorway, thoroughly shaken up by my little show. Moments later, Jasper and dad reappeared, dad telling Jasper in a stiff voice to ice his jaw before he went to bed.

Good thing Alice wasn't here, or I'd have been slapped right back. She was a protective little witch when it came to her precious Jasper.

"Sit down." Said dad firmly, pointing me towards the armchair. He passed mom wordlessly as I sat myself down stiffly on the chair.

"Want to explain?" he asked sarcastically.

I stared up at him defiantly.

"Listen to me closely, Edward." He warned darkly, seeing my expression. "I absolutely _will not _tolerate this sort of behaviour in my house, and unless you want to be out on your ass, I suggest you start talking."

"Carlisle!" cried mom tearfully.

I stared, and two more fat tears fell before I felt my body shaking with emotion.

"I know you read the file." He accused in a much gentler voice, making me glance up quietly.

"You should know better." He said disappointedly.

"It fell." I defended, earning me a small sigh as he sat down as well, his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

Another Cullen trait.

"It fell off the table and I picked it up."

"And then you saw the name and decided to peek?" he asked sadly, looking at me with the expression I was used to seeing on him.

Not the angry son of a bitch he was only moments ago.

"She stopped her treatments!" I cried hoarsely, earning me a small sigh from mom and a frown from dad.

"Under the recommendation of her physician." Amended dad. "She had no choice."

"Yes she did." I insisted in a whisper, making mom gasp as she turned to me.

"You didn't…" she said disappointedly, making me glance up.

"What?"

"You didn't… get _angry _with her, did you?" she asked in a small voice.

I felt two more tears fall down my face and I wanted to sink through the floor, thoroughly ashamed.

"I didn't know what to do!" I defended weakly.

Dad stared.

"Edward, it's not her fault." He said softly. "It's no one's fault…"

"I was so _mad." _I whispered. "She hates me!"

Without a word, dad engulfed me in a strangely gentle hug, looking quite upset.

"I know it's hard." He whispered as I tried to hold myself together.

The phone rang, making mom sniff as she went to pick it up.

"You have to learn to control yourself." He said sternly, still holding onto me. Dad was too fucking sensitive for his own good sometimes…

"I'm sorry." I said honestly. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"I know you are." He said softly, sighing heavily.

"I fucked it up." I said worriedly. "She hates me."

"I doubt that." Said dad gently.

"She said it."

"You said things you didn't mean as well." He soothed. "I'm sure you'll get through it."

"I'm such a fucker." I said dejectedly.

"Edward Anthony." Scolded dad. "You're a bright young man and a good friend to her. She loves you."

I felt a fleeting pang of nostalgia at that admission.

Bella _loved _me.

"I'm not sure she does." I said dejectedly. I let him go and fell back against my chair, exhausted, with a fucking sore hand.

"Edward…" said dad hesitantly, sitting down on the couch next to me.

I watched him curiously, wondering which fucking rock he'd come out of. He was one of a kind- always so damn caring, but so stern at the same time. It was unnerving.

"You remind me a lot of myself." He said suddenly, glancing at me with his calm, blue eyes.

I snorted with laughter.

"You were never an ungrateful fucker." I said honestly.

"Oh yes I was." He laughed suddenly, making me turn to him quickly. "You have no idea what sort of hell I put Nana and Grandpa Cullen through. I was a cocky little bastard."

He looked reminiscent.

"Tonight was a lot like one time when I was around seventeen." He told me. "Uncle James and I had gotten into a fight and I punched him. He was almost twenty by that time, but I was a overconfident."

"Fuck dad." I said, trying to picture him knocking Uncle James over. I didn't remember much of my uncle, but I did know that he was a big guy- bigger than dad, anyways.

"We fought." He admitted. "Nana had to call Grandpa to separate us, and from that day on, I swore I'd hate him forever."

"What were you fighting over?" I asked curiously, earning me a smile.

"Who got to choose the television channel." He admitted with a sigh. "We were both too proud and cocky."

I fell silent, feeling guilty for taking a swing at Jasper.

Alice would have my balls when she found out how badly I'd fucked up…

"Go talk to him." suggested dad, glancing towards the stairs.

Fuck.

"He's like your brother, Edward." Said dad sternly. "Apologize."

Sighing resignedly, I stood up just as mom came in the front door, looking sad.

Where the hell had she gone?

I watched her as she stared at me sadly, and I remembered my stinging, hurtful words. Like the suck up I was, I went over and engulfed her little frame into a tight hug, earning me a sniff.

"I love you." She said softly, kissing my damp cheek as she pulled back.

"Sorry." I said gently, earning me a soft smile.

"I know you are." She said. "So does Bella."

Bella?

I didn't question it as I moved towards the stairs and walked up, reaching Jasper's bedroom quickly.

The door was closed, which was fucking odd enough in itself, but I could also see a light flickering from underneath, telling me that he was awake.

And pissed as hell.

I knocked, readying myself for the returning blow…

"What?"

The door opened and he appeared, holding a bag of frozen peas to the budding bruise on his face. He stared at me distastefully as I watched him quietly.

"Fuck man." I said with a wince as he touched his jaw and flexed it experimentally.

He glared.

"Need something?" he asked sarcastically.

"No."

"What the hell do you want, then?" he asked, annoyed.

"I'm sorry."

He watched me for a long moment before he turned around and walked deeper into his bedroom, leaving the door open behind him. I hesitantly followed him inside and watched as he spread himself out on the bed, glancing up at his television.

The fucking nerd was watching CNN.

"Does it hurt?" I asked quietly.

"Like a bitch." He confirmed, glancing over once more. "You've got one hell of an arm."

"Sorry." I said again, making him nod in acceptance.

"Don't do it again." he warned dangerously, looking at me with the all-too familiar blue eyes. "I might not be a violent guy, but I'll clock you one back next time."

"I know." I said honestly, having no desire to be on the receiving end of Jasper's fist.

That would hurt like a motherfucker.

"You owe me." Said Jasper smugly, glancing over with the cockiest look he could muster. "You'd better be a fucking saint to Alice from now on…"

Ah, fuck.

"Sure." I said quickly.

He snickered before he turned back to his news channel without a word, and I slowly slunk out of the room, closing the door behind me.

"Goodnight, Edward." He called.

"G'night Jazz." I replied before I marched down the hall with a heavy heart, closing my door quickly.

I thanked god for Jasper's good temper as I changed into some pyjama shorts, glancing nostalgically out of my large picture window.

From where I stood, I could see Bella's bedroom window nestled in the centre of the little white house across the field, but to my dismay, all that could be seen through it was darkness.

Complete, isolated darkness.

I climbed under my covers with a frown and a sigh, turning over to face the wall, lest my mother come in and see the renewed tears.

_Goodnight, Bella._


	21. Chapter 21

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 21**

BPOV

The next morning, I woke up at four in the morning with a splitting headache and a churning stomach, which resulted in a bout of heaving into my toilet. The contents of my stomach were emptied violently into the porcelain bowl, and I was brought back to the weeks of chemotherapy I'd just endured, praying to god that this wouldn't be like those days.

Chemo treatment was hell on earth, and I would rather drop dead before undergoing another therapy session.

No pun intended.

Dad found me not minutes after I'd begun throwing up and he'd held my hair dutifully, offering me a glass of icy cold water from the tap and a napkin afterwards.

"You're staying home today." He warned me gently, feeling my forehead with the back of his hand.

I obliged easily and when Emmett woke up for school, he seemed edgy and anxious to leave me behind, but when dad assured him that I was in good hands, he left, bringing my morning greetings to Alice, who had stayed the night with her acquaintance, Angela Weber- the preacher's daughter.

Apparently Alice and Angela had no regard for school night hours, but dad couldn't help but trust Father Weber.

He was a priest, after all.

Dad fed me my pills one by one, managing to coax me into eating some crackers as well, and I managed to get through the food without throwing up. He led me down to the couch, where he set up a makeshift bed for me with pillows, sheets and blankets, setting me up with my glass of water and packet of soda crackers on the wooden table.

"Are you alright?" he asked me softly for the fifth time, tucking in a loose end of my sheet.

"Thanks dad." I said drowsily with a nod, making him sigh as he brandished the thermometer at me.

I placed it dutifully in my mouth and he seemed grimly satisfied with my compliance.

He turned on the television to distract me while I waited for the thermometer to read my temperature, and by the time it beeped, I was immersed in an episode of _The Office. _Dad pulled the thermometer from under my tongue and read it with a frown, the vein in his temple bulging slightly with his anger.

"I swear to god…" he threatened darkly, tossing the thermometer on the table. "If he's made you sicker than you already are…"

"Dad." I scolded gently, making him sigh as he pursed his lips and fell silent.

"It's high." He told me gently. "If it doesn't break by tonight, I'm taking you in."

I didn't bother to complain and protest, knowing that it was for my own good. I didn't want to worry him.

"I'm fine, dad." I said softly, making him frown worriedly.

I coughed, and it simply increased his worry and panic.

"Rest, Bell." He said gently as he sat himself down on the armchair next to me.

"I'm not tired." I said quietly, glancing over at him.

"Don't lie." He scolded. "Your eyes are drooping."

Damn.

"I don't want to." I said childishly.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I'm not sick."

"You are so." He said dryly. "If you don't rest, it could get worse…"

"Fine." I sighed quickly, trying to tug my blanket upwards.

To my embarrassment, my arms were extremely weak and sore, and when I tried to grab the blanket, it simply slipped through my fingers with a gasp. A sharp pain shot through the very bones of my arms and I let them fall with a thump, feeling the tears stinging behind my eyelids.

Dad jumped out of his seat.

"Sore?" he guessed sympathetically.

The tears rolled down as the jolting shock of pain dissipated.

"Yeah." I admitted honestly, taking a deep breath to calm myself. He simply reached over and grabbed up the new pain medication Emmett had picked up yesterday, plucking two out of the bottle and offering them to me with my glass of water.

I sipped the cool liquid through the pink straw and swallowed dutifully, hoping these would keep the pain to a minimum.

Dad set the water and pill bottle back on the table and sat himself on the floor at my head, not looking the least bit bothered by his placement.

"Go to sleep." He ordered gently, making me sniff as the drugs took effect and my eyelids drooped, sending me into the deepest sleep imaginable.

ooOoo

"He did _what?!" _cried an incredulous voice from behind me, gaining a flurry of shushing and whispers.

"Quiet, Alice." Warned dad disapprovingly. "She's had a rough little while."

"That little prick!" Alice whispered loudly. "How _dare _he accuse her of…"

She trailed off with an angry shudder.

"He hit Jasper last night." She said suddenly. "Jasper caught him smoking after he told Esme to fuck off-"

"Language, Alice." Said dad sternly, sounding worn out.

"Sorry. Esme was upset and Jasper called him out on it, and he just clocked him! Gave him a nice bruise too…"

"Quiet, Ali." Warned dad affectionately, his voice betraying nothing but love for his eldest daughter.

"How bad was it?" asked Alice softly.

"Bad." Said Emmett suddenly, making me bristle uncomfortably. "She was fucking soaked to the bone--"

"Language!" dad said sternly.

"She was!" he protested indignantly. "He's just lucky he didn't show his pretty little face today… Rosalie's brother or not, I'd have broken his nose, at the very least."

"Emmett, watch yourself." Warned dad. "You hit him and he can press charges."

Emmett fell silent, although I could sense his disdain.

"She's had a rough day." Said dad softly. "She woke up three times already, puking…"

I had?

"Poor thing." Said Alice sadly.

"And she's in pain." Added dad. "I'm thinking of pulling her out."

"Dad, she worked so hard for this…" said Alice sadly.

"I won't risk her health." He said simply. "She got to go to school for a little while."

I sighed softly, feeling my throat flare.

Maybe dad was right… it was time to take it easy. It was already the end of April, and I'd only been given until July…

"Bell?"

I cracked my eyes open, feeling the stickiness trying to keep them shut.

"Dad." I croaked quietly, hearing him sigh as he bustled around me, glancing at me worriedly.

"Hi." He said softly, smiling gently when my eyes met his own. I couldn't muster up the energy to retaliate, but he didn't seem fazed.

"Your fever broke." He informed me softly. "So we'll wait for a while…"

"Okay."

My voice sounded horrible.

"Oh Bella." Said Alice softly, pushing past dad to get a look at me. "I'm sorry I wasn't here--"

"It's fine, Ali." I whispered. "Esme came."

"I know." She said gently, kneeling down. "I already saw her today and thanked her for you."

"Thanks."

"It's the least I could do… I should have been here." She whispered softly.

"You had plans." I protested with as much indignation as I could muster.

Emmett chuckled from his place behind me, sounding thoroughly amused.

"Sick as a dog, and you'll still argue with her." Said Emmett wonderingly. I glanced over at him, trying not to strain myself, and to make things easier, he moved around to make the angle easier.

"Only because I love her." I said, earning me a gentle hug.

It hurt my sore body, but I didn't protest.

"Love you too, Bell." She said fondly before she sighed and pulled away, looking me over sadly.

"I could kick him in the balls for you." She offered eagerly.

"Alice!"

My voice was still a harsh croak.

"Just a suggestion." She said with an airy shrug. "Jasper wouldn't mind…"

"Did he really hit him?" I asked sadly.

Alice bristled angrily.

"Yes." She said indignantly. "Left a mighty fine mark, too…"

"Why?" I asked sadly.

"Jasper snatched a smoke from him." she said softly. "He was smoking it."

"He what?" I asked, aghast. Why had he broken his quitting regime?

"He even told Esme to fuck off." She told me gently.

I felt my eyes brighten and Alice immediately frowned, refusing to elaborate. Dad, seeing the sadness, stepped in quickly with a completely different approach.

"Bell, will you consider staying home?" he asked softly, making me sigh.

"From school?" I clarified in a raspy tone.

"Yes." He said gently, sighing. "I only want you to be as healthy as possible, and if you're already sick, then--"

"I know, dad." I said gently.

It was time to give in. I'd fought, and I'd earned nearly three more months of conventional education, and deep in the back of my mind, I knew there'd come a time where I'd have to give it up.

I was only hoping it wouldn't be so soon.

Apparently fate had other plans.

"Okay." I whispered, feeling an intense pang of sadness at the finality of it.

No more English or history lessons, no more lunchtime conversations with everyone at the table, no more clothing dilemmas, no more teachers…

Just twelve weeks of resting.

"Okay?" asked dad sceptically, obviously expecting a fight.

I was sort of expecting a fight too, but shockingly, none came.

"Yeah." I said sadly, already feeling the nostalgia.

"Thank you, honey." Said dad gently, sighing as he stood. He'd dispatch my brother to collect my belongings from my locker tomorrow…

There was a muffled ringing sound that filled the living room and I immediately recognized the tone as mine.

"Where is it?" I asked quietly, sitting up with a wince.

Dad sighed and glanced over at me sadly.

"Never mind it." He said indifferently.

"Dad…"

He glanced over guiltily.

"You don't need to talk on the phone right now." He said. "It can wait."

"Give me my phone." I said firmly.

"Bella…"

"Please?"

With a sigh of frustration and defeat, he procured my phone with the pink, sparkly sticker from his back pocket, handing it to me grudgingly.

Seven missed calls.

"Dad!" I complained croakily, making him frown.

"You shouldn't speak with him." said dad firmly, glancing down at the phone distastefully.

I flipped it open and checked the number, and sure enough, all seven were dispatched from Edward's house.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked sadly.

"You were sleeping, and you're done with him." said dad simply.

I stared.

"He's my friend." I said pitifully, clinging to the vain hope that it was still the truth.

"He's got a funny way of showing it." Said dad dryly. "Give me that." He said quickly, reaching out for it.

With a gasp of pain, I thrust my arms under myself, phone in hand.

"Christ, Bella, don't hurt yourself." Said Emmett quickly, looking at me with sad eyes.

Alice sighed and slipped out of the room, taking her packed schoolbag with her. Emmett waited by the door and dad stared at me for a long moment before he sighed.

"I can't stop you." He said reluctantly. "But remember that he hurt you."

"I know." I said honestly, gently pulling my sore arms back up. Dad watched with resentful, slightly angry eyes as I flipped it open and checked the voicemails.

"_Um… hey, listen. If you get this, please call me back. I know I'm a douchebag and I'm sorry for what I said, but I didn't mean it… so call me. Bye."_

I sighed, deleting it quickly before I listened to the next one.

"_Hi, it's me again. Please answer, Bella… I know you're mad, with a good fucking reason, but even assholes deserve second chances, right? I beat the fuck out of Jasper's face because I was so pissed at myself… not that it's an excuse. I mean, Jasper didn't deserve it really, but… fuck…_" he paused, sighing. _"Call me back, please."_

I deleted that one as well, listening to the last five which were much the same, except for the one hang up on the last call. The voicemails grew more and more desperate and sad as time went on, and once, I swore he was crying, but nothing was definitive.

I only knew one thing for sure- no matter how much of an ass he was, no matter what sorts of horrid things he said to me, I really missed him.

I missed _all _of Edward, his bitchy attitude included. I missed his outspokenness, his crude humour and horrible vocabulary… I missed his friendship.

I wanted him back…

Just as I went to open my phone to call him, I heard a loud knock at my front door, and dad, sounding irritated by the huff he let out, marched over to the door and pulled it open.

"Oh for Christ's sake." He said angrily. "What do you want?"

"Is Bella here?"

My heart did a funny little jump at the sound of his voice- although worn out and sad, was still comfortingly familiar.

"Get out of my yard." Spat dad. "You have no business here anymore, young man…"

"Please, Chief Swan?"

"No. Get out." Snarled Charlie, making me frown as I tossed the blanket off of myself, onto the floor.

"Chief, I'm sorry for what I said, but--"

"Don't make me ask you again." warned Charlie dangerously.

"Dad!" I protested, loud enough for Edward to hear me. Dad turned to me with worried, angry eyes before he sighed deeply.

"Go back to the couch, Bella." He said sternly. "Edward's leaving."

"No." I said sadly, forcing my sore legs forward. Dad watched me with sad eyes as Emmett stood from his place at the table, looking ready to catch me if I fell.

I wasn't weak enough for that, yet.

"Let him in." I pleaded.

Dad hesitated, torn between throwing Edward out and making me happy.

We both knew which one he'd give in to. Without speaking to me, he turned to Edward, looking absolutely murderous.

"I swear to God, boy, if she _ever _comes home in that condition again, I'll write you up for harassment." He snarled. "Am I clear?"

"Crystal." Said Edward sincerely, sounding grimly pleased as Charlie let him through the door, staring with open dislike.

"Watch yourself, man." Said Emmett gruffly, drawing himself up to full height as Edward looked him over, obviously deciding it unwise to pick on my massively built brother.

"I know." Said Edward softly as he turned to me, his face falling as he took in my pale face and croaky voice.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly, his voice more sincere than ever.

I stared, feeling both euphoric and betrayed at the same time. Without speaking, I turned on my heel and allowed him to follow me back to the couch, where I fell down into my nest of pillows and blankets, covering up quickly.

He sat down in dad's recliner, much to dad's distaste, and watched me closely.

"Why'd you say that?" I asked sadly, feeling my sad, bottled up tears returning with a vengeance.

"Fuck, Bella… I'm sorry." He repeated sadly. "One of the files dad brought home was yours and it fell, the papers scattered and I fucking picked them up. I saw what that fucker in Jacksonville wrote about you stopping treatment and I… fuck." He said quickly, running his hand through his hair.

I stared, unsure whether or not I should have been mad at him for peeking in the file.

"It fucking scared me." He admitted softly.

I stared at him for a long moment before I felt one fat tear roll down my cheek lazily, only to be wiped away with angry fingers.

I wouldn't cry in front of him again.

"I'm sorry." I said gently.

"Fuck, Bella!" he complained, making me frown as I glanced up warily. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about."

Emmett, having heard his loud complaint, had positioned himself in the doorway, looking quite proud of Edward's proclamation.

"Damn right, she doesn't." said Emmett firmly. Edward whipped around, watching my brother worriedly.

"Nice right hook, by the way." He complimented, making Edward sigh.

"I was being a little bitch last night." Said Edward darkly.

Emmett laughed boisterously.

"I've never heard a truer word." Said Emmett crudely.

Edward's cheeks darkened slightly, but he said nothing as Emmett observed idly.

"Go on." He said. "I'm just here for damage control. You make her cry, I'll break your face." He bargained.

"Emmett." I rasped in embarrassment.

"Only 'cause I love you, Boo." He said affectionately, in a tone I was sure Edward had never heard him use before. Edward nodded submissively and glanced over at me with his anticipating green eyes.

He looked so hopeful…

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "I wish I could take it all back, but… fuck."

He looked sad again.

"I'm not the best guy you could have chosen for your friend." He said honestly.

Emmett smirked, but I found nothing funny in his statement.

"You're a great friend." I said firmly, making Emmett turn to me sadly. "You just made a mistake."

"I fucked up majorly." He amended. "I fucked _everything _up…"

"It's okay." I said, shocking both him and my brother.

"No, it isn't." said Edward adamantly. "You want to take a shot at me?" he offered.

Emmett snickered.

"Fuck, you can kick my balls off, if it'll make you feel better. I fucking deserve it…"

"Stop it." I said firmly, making him sigh as he glanced up.

"You're forgiven." I said pointedly.

He stared in shock before I felt my eyes tear up.

"Life's too short to hold grudges."

Edward sighed heavily before he glanced down to the ground, nodding.

"Thanks." He said softly. "I can safely say I appreciate it."

"Good." I said darkly. "Because I don't think anyone else is as forgiving."

Emmett looked incredulously at me before he sighed and looked Edward over, nodding to himself.

"Just remember, man." He warned loudly. "If she comes home crying again, I'll hunt you down."

"I don't doubt it." Said Edward dryly.

Emmett simply sighed before he left the room, deeming the area safe once more.

"I'm sorry." Said Edward again, making me sigh.

"Stop it." I said firmly. "It's done with."

He obligingly fell silent as I cleared my throat painfully.

"Sorry you're sick." He offered. "I suppose I did that too…"

"Edward…" I warned.

"Sorry."

"Edward!"

"Not sorry?" he smirked.

I smiled too, sitting back against my cushions.

"I should let you sleep." He said gently.

"No." I protested with a worried frown, making him smirk.

"Why not?"

"I just got you back." I said shakily, making him frown worriedly as my tears reappeared.

"Fuck Bell, don't cry." He pleaded sadly. "Emmett'll fucking shoot me."

I laughed, though the two, fat salty tears still rolled down my face. He looked panicked as he moved over and sat down next to me on the couch, watching me closely.

Unable to help myself, I leaned over and threw my sore, stiff arms around him in the tightest hug I could manage, startling him. It took him a moment to reciprocate, but when he did, he was gentle and kind as ever as he patted my back.

"Don't ever do that to me again." I said shakily. "I mean it."

"I won't." he vowed.

I didn't want to let go, but soon, my arms grew much too sore, and I was forced to let him go. He did the same before he sat back with a sigh, looking curious.

"Want to watch Romeo and Juliet?" he offered.

"You hate that movie." I said sceptically.

"It's a peace offering." He said pointedly. "You're obligated to accept it."

"Am I?" I challenged. "You still have to write me something that rivals Mr. Shakespeare."

"Count on it, Swan." He said with a smirk, standing to grab my sixties version of Romeo and Juliet from its place under the entertainment centre.

I finally regained a sense of normalcy as he placed the disc into the player quickly, changing the video inputs on the television to the proper settings. He tossed me the remote and I caught it quickly, setting it down next to me as he came and sat down, observing the video quietly. I felt strangely drawn to him as we sat together, and without much forethought, I slid over and leaned my sore, tired head on his lap, relishing his scent.

I'd missed him terribly.

As the opening scenes began to flash by, I felt my eyelids growing heavy once more and I fought the oncoming exhaustion for as long as I could before sleep claimed me once again, and Romeo began to recite his famous balcony monologue.


	22. Chapter 22

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 22**

EPOV

Bella's head was heavy in my lap as the film played on, the characters prattling on in their goddamn twaddle-speak from way back in the day. That fucking fairy, Romeo, was reciting some nasty poetry at Juliet's window while he perved on her from the bushes, fantasizing about touching her cheek and shit, and Juliet was blissfully unaware as she daydreamed about him and his name.

At least I think that's what she was doing… English had never been my strongest subject and old English was that much worse.

"_What's in a name? That, by which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet…"_

Gag me now.

I sighed heavily as I watched on, knowing that this was my penance. If I wanted to act like a self-righteous dick, then the least I could do was make her happy by watching her stupid movie.

Only when she let out a small sigh did I glance down, grinning at the sight.

She had her head right on my thigh, resting softly with her pale lavender eyelids closed over her eyes and her body limp and tired.

She'd fallen asleep.

"Bella?" I whispered, earning no response as she slept on, making no move to get off of my lap. I gently stroked a stray wisp of dark hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, sighing.

She looked so peaceful.

"Edward." Said Emmett suddenly, looking at me with stern eyes.

"Hey." I said quietly. His eyes softened as he glanced down at his sleeping sister and without hesitation, he approached us and lifted her entire body from the couch. The weight of her head was moved from its place on my lap and I immediately felt the air around me cool. Emmett carried her towards the stairs, where he traipsed up and brought her to her bedroom.

I waited in an awkward silence, the voices on the movie still prattling on without mercy. Only when chief Swan made his appearance in the living room did I stand up quickly, feeling oddly nervous.

He had a fucking gun in the house, and I knew damn well that _he _knew how to use it…

"Now you listen here." He said dangerously, pointing at me accusingly. "I don't give a shit who's kid you are, but if you send her home like that again, I swear to god…"

He trailed off with a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"I know." I said quickly, nodding as he scowled at me.

"No, I don't think you do." He said honestly. "I've caught you smoking, I know you assaulted your brother, and I know you sent my daughter into hysterics last night…"

"I'm sorry." I interjected quickly. He stared at me indifferently.

"I don't care." He said simply. "You _blamed _her for stopping treatment?" he demanded, his voice growing louder.

I fell silent, sighing as I examined the chief's wooden floors instead of his angry face.

"You have no right to _ever _speak to her like that, am I clear?"

"Yes sir."

"She cried herself to sleep last night because of you, and let me tell you, boy, it won't happen again. Emmett'll kick your ass to Mexico and back if it does, and let me tell you that I most definitely won't blame_ him._ Upset her like that again, and I swear to god you'll regret it." He snarled, pointing his finger at me accusingly.

A shiver ran down my spine as the usually kind, understanding chief of police used all his authority to scare the living shit out of me.

"Am I clear?" he asked.

"Yes." I said honestly. He grunted and nodded.

"You're not to be in my house past nine o' clock." He said. "And you're most definitely not to call her before nine in the morning. She needs her sleep."

"Yes sir."

"No more field romps, and no more late night drives."

I nodded meekly as he sighed heavily, his eyes cold and hateful.

"Damn, boy, you're lucky I respect your parents, let me tell you…" he said.

I nodded, thanking Jesus that my father was an excellent contributor to society.

And who could resist my mother's inherent kindness?

"She's not going back to school, either." He said quietly, making my head snap up.

"Why?"

He shot me a warning glance, and I immediately dropped any indignation or anger from my voice.

No need to piss him off even more.

"She never should have gone in the first place. She's getting to the point where she won't be able to handle the stress and all the viruses she'll encounter there…"

I frowned and nodded quickly.

"She'll stay home." He decided gruffly.

"I'm sorry." I offered again, making him nod.

"Don't let it happen again." he said darkly, just as Emmett returned from Bella's bedroom, looking indifferent.

"I'll kick your ass so hard, you won't know what hit you!" he warned in a loud voice as he moved to the kitchen.

Chief Swan's lips twitched in the semblance of a smile before he composed himself into an icy mask once again, sighing heavily.

I'd never really noticed how big he was… Emmett definitely took after his side of the family.

As that correlation popped into my head, I suddenly found myself wondering where the fuck Alice had come from.

"You should go." Said Chief Swan wearily. "She'll sleep through the night, hopefully."

"Okay." I said quickly, not wanting to push my luck. If the chief was willing to let me associate with his daughter after the stunt I'd pulled, I'd kiss his fucking shoes, if he wanted me to.

"Tell Bella I said bye?" I asked hesitantly.

"I will." He said solemnly as he walked me to the door, past both Alice and Emmett who were waiting in the kitchen.

Emmett, always the boisterous one, simply watched me curiously, but Alice was the one who shocked me.

I expected her to pounce on me- to try and smack me or pull my hair or some girly shit, but she just sat at the table, watching me with slightly brightened, gentle eyes. She gave me a small wave that shocked the fuck out of me as I shoved my shoes on my feet and snatched the leather jacket off the hook.

"Bye." I said gently to her, testing my luck.

"Bye Edward." She said softly.

Well, fuck.

With that gentle wave, she watched me leave and I went out to the field, dumbfounded by her sudden change of heart. What had I done differently this time, except be a complete and total ass to her sick sister?

Feeling energetic, I ran through the field right towards the back door of my house, where I found mom bent over a bowl in the kitchen.

"Hi." I said quickly, sliding through the door as she gave a yelp of surprise, wheeling around.

"Goodness, you scared me." She said with a light chuckle. Rosalie was seated at the table as well, bent over a calculus textbook and some papers.

"Hey Rose." I said amicably.

She stared in slight shock.

"Hi." She offered warily.

Maybe I was a bit of a dick to her, too…

She simply turned back to her papers with a small frown, working through her equations and graphs. Smirking at my additional success, I sat down across from her.

"Your boyfriend threatened to kick my ass." I offered airily.

Her interest spiked and I distinctly saw mom smile as I showed a rare display of civility towards my sister.

"He loves her." she said softly, scribbling down an answer on her sheet. She glanced up at me with her big blue eyes before she glanced back down.

"He talks about her a lot." She offered. "She and Alice mean a lot to him, even if he's not the most emotional guy…"

She fell silent again, and I suddenly found myself wondering how much this whole ordeal was really affecting him. He never spoke about it much, and I knew that Jasper probably spoke about it more with Alice than Emmett did with Rosalie…

It wasn't my place to pry.

"Charlie threatened to let him." I added. Rosalie snickered as Esme sighed.

"Charlie loves his kids, Edward." Said mom quietly. "What you said was horrible, and he has a right to be angry."

"I know, mom."

"Good." She said softly, returning to her mixing bowl.

It smelled like cookie dough.

"She's not coming back to school." I offered, making mom sigh as Rosalie's blonde head whipped up.

"Emmett mentioned that." She said. "He knew his dad would pull her out…"

"Are you friends with her?" I asked curiously. Rosalie's eyes hardened slightly.

"I like to think so." She said sarcastically.

"Just asking." I said in surrender, earning me a small, unhappy frown. "You don't make new friends." I said honestly.

She sighed heavily and put her pencil down on her papers, looking up at me.

"I don't usually _like _new friends. Not everyone is really friend material, but with Alice, I found one. She's peppy, but she's a good person." She said.

"Bella's…" she started, frowning slightly as she glanced at me. "It's hard to explain."

For once in my life, I could see eye to eye with Rosalie.

"I know." I said gently.

There was something inherently attractive about Bella- not in a really sexual way, but more of a natural draw. Even the picky Rosalie managed to get pulled in by her, and although Rosalie rarely hung out with Bella after school hours, unless Alice was there as well, I knew that in her own way, Rose had let Bella into her closed, wary heart.

That was the thing with Rosalie- she didn't take well to newcomers, but once she let you in, it was sure to be for life. I'd always pinned her standoffish attitude on her mother's behaviour around her- Victoria Hale had taught her daughter that her looks would get her everything she needed, and if there was one thing Rosalie hated, it was being liked because she was pretty.

She'd said on numerous occasions in her childhood that she'd rather be the ugliest kid on the planet than the prettiest, since with the pretty one, all people saw was her face and not who she really was.

She wanted to be liked for _who _she was, not _what _she was.

Rosalie managed to finish her last question with relative ease, and with a small, curious glance in my direction, she snatched up her books and left the kitchen quietly.

Now I was alone with my mother, who I'd told to fuck off just yesterday…

She plopped her cookies down on the cookie sheet methodically before she looked over at me with a gentle smile.

"I didn't mean it." I said honestly, making her frown sadly as she turned to me.

"Didn't mean what?" she asked quietly.

"What I said to you yesterday." I said gently. "It was rude and selfish and--"

"Oh Edward." She said gently, wiping her hands as she walked over. Without hesitation, she reached around and gave me a hug, squeezing tightly.

"No matter what you say to me, I'll still be your mother." She said pointedly. "I've heard much worse come out of that mouth of yours."

"Not directed at you." I amended. "You didn't deserve that."

"No." she agreed. "But sometimes our tempers get the best of us." She whispered with a sigh, letting me go. She had that motherly look in her eye- one only a mother could have for her kid- and I immediately felt encouraged.

"You're doing much better." She said. "You might have hit your brother yesterday, but you were very kind to your sister just now, which is new." She noted.

I nodded.

"Keep it up, and you won't regret it." She said gently, placing her cookie sheet in the oven. "It's always rewarding to have a good relationship with your siblings. You can talk to your father about that."

"I know." I said.

"She's good for you." Said mom gently, looking over. "I wasn't too sure what to make of things, when I found out you'd found a friend in that poor girl, but she's done you some good."

Mom looked slightly tearful as she took a deep breath and turned back around, rinsing her mixing bowl.

She was upset.

Just like I'd predicted when Bella was first brought over for dinner, mom had grown attached to her, and now, she was thinking ahead to the future. Mom's only weakness was her strong attachment to those she loved, which at times was actually a _benefit,_ and now that she'd grown attached to Isabella Swan, she would have a hard time letting her go.

"I know she has." I said gently, making her smile as she turned back to me tearfully. She wiped at her eyes with her hand quickly before she looked at me curiously.

"That girl is special." She decided softly, swallowing thickly. "So different…"

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, making her frown.

"Edward, Bella would have wormed her way into my heart with or without your help." She said gently. "She's one of those who can, and I knew I'd have to let her go sometime."

I simply nodded, willing myself not to cry like a little pussy in front of my upset mother.

"And she didn't even mean to do it." Said mom wonderingly. "She's grown on all of us…"

"She's good at that." I admitted.

With a tearful smile, mom turned back to her dishwater and I sat silently at my kitchen table, relishing the familiar feeling of home.


	23. Chapter 23

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 23**

ChPOV

Everything I'd ever worked for- everything I _lived _for, was disappearing right before my eyes.

The high school had been kind and understanding when I'd pulled Bella out of her two classes, and with great comments and well wishes from her teachers, she'd been allowed to accompany Emmett to her locker to get her things. Emmett had helped her carry it home and put it up in her bedroom, where she'd spent the day going over her assignments and class work.

Edward Cullen, much to my distaste, visited every evening from four until nine, when I forcibly kicked him out. Bella spent the day with me, an hour or two with Alice and Emmett before and after school, and then five uninterrupted hours with that Cullen kid before she went back to bed, and the cycle restarted the next day.

The changes came on slowly over time, but it didn't take long for me to notice them. She was growing weaker, more tired, and much stiffer than usual. She slept for twelve hours each night, plus sometimes, she took naps during the day when we weren't too busy or distracted. She no longer cooked and cleaning was an impossibility. She didn't like to get dressed, but preferred to stay in her pyjamas for the day so she could effectively relax. The most exciting things we did went from lunches at The Lodge to watching a thirty minute television program before she'd fall asleep on me.

She was fading away right before my eyes, and I was at a loss. I knew damn well what was coming, but some little voice in my head was whispering that it was impossible.

How, in this day and age, was it possible for my sixteen year old daughter to die? How could the innovative technology allow her to fade into some sort of shell of a person instead of my lively, inquisitive baby? How was it that this girl- the one who'd been sporting little brown pigtails not ten years ago- was laying with her head on my lap for what could be one of the last times?

Carlisle had been to visit us a few days back on one of his days off, preferring to keep her here rather than subject her to the stress of the car ride. He'd assessed her with his equipment and he'd done all but a blood test, and determined that her time was running short.

He'd given her two to six weeks, at the most, and every time I remembered those words, my world crashed down on me all over again.

How was this possible?

Now, Bella was sleeping again with her little pale face on my lap, a thick blanket draped over her thin body. She had lost weight in the past little while and it had begun to show a few weeks back. She hadn't eaten much before but now, I was lucky to coax her into a full plate per day. She had no appetite, no energy and no strength left to do very much.

It was distressing.

Her hair had grown almost to her shoulders- the familiar curls cascading over my denim covered leg. She breathed deeply and steadily as I held her gently, letting her sleep off her exhaustion as best she could.

She was restless, even now.

Alice had taken to staying home with her whenever she could, and she even avoided the Cullens' house in favour of bringing Jasper over here instead. She worried and fluttered nervously all the while and I knew it was taking a toll on both Jasper and Bella, but neither one of them complained.

Emmett, on the other hand, had taken a liking to spending ample amounts of time over with Rosalie, who'd come to visit on her own accord once or twice. Emmett, upon seeing Bella's degeneration, had begun to avoid her totally.

I knew it was his way of coping, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

Emmett had grown up with Bella's illness- he'd seen her at her worst before, and I was slightly disappointed that he'd run away now. Bella, although she'd never say it out loud, knew that Emmett was avoiding her, and I knew she was itching to apologize to him, but he never saw her for more than two minutes at a time, smiling all the while.

Emmett tried to keep a happy face, when he could.

She'd recovered from her bout of sickness after her encounter with Edward in the field, but that was when her health started to deteriorate. She had a rough week or so afterwards, trying to fight off her infection, and with a broad spectrum antibiotic from Carlisle, she'd managed to beat it out. I'd expected her to regain her strength and interest, but she never did. She stuck to the couch or her bed, watched television and only got up to eat, use the bathroom and shower.

Today, I knew I had something to do, and no matter how long I put it off, I knew it was coming.

I had to call Renee.

To call my ex-wife up to Washington for her daughter's last few weeks with us was simply adding insult to injury. Renee had walked out on _me, _not the other way around, and truth be told, mine and Renee's story was one that was never really finished. I'd always loved my wife, and it hurt me to see her in pain.

And I'm sure it still would.

Calling Renee felt like I was nailing Bella's coffin shut- if Renee was here, it made things official.

If Renee was here, Bella was dying.

I didn't want her to die…

Bella rested gently on my lap, oblivious to my internal struggle. I wrapped one of the delicate curls around my finger, remembering how I used to twirl her soft, downy baby curls just the same way. She'd go in to take her nap and she'd cry if no one stayed with her, so I'd sit by her crib and reach my fist through the bars to run my large hands over her little head, savouring the feeling of the soft locks of hair.

In those days, I'd never imagined that I'd be sitting in the same house fifteen years later with that very same baby on my lap, her breaths so cruelly numbered.

The door opening brought me from my reverie and with a jolt, I glanced over, seeing my daughter tip toeing through the door.

"Hi dad." She said quickly, dropping her bag by the door.

"Why are you crying?" she asked concernedly, her brows drawn together in a frown as she caught sight of me. I quickly pressed a hand to my face and sure enough, there were tears cascading down my face. Alice immediately looked down at Bella, assuring herself that she was still breathing before she sat down worriedly.

"What?" she asked warily.

I sighed.

"I'm calling your mother tonight." I said softly.

Alice stared before she stood up quickly.

"Alice…" I said sadly as she sniffed loudly and sped to the stairs, waltzing up in the graceful way only Alice could manage.

I heard her bedroom door shut with a loud bang before I sighed and focused once again on Bella's sleeping face.

She was so peaceful while she slept…

I gently slid her head off of my lap and onto a down pillow from her bedroom before I covered her up and moved to the stairs. Climbing them gently, I stopped in front of my eldest daughter's door, sighing heavily.

"Ali, honey…" I said sadly, knocking gently.

I heard a loud sniffle come from inside, but there was no response.

"Open up, please."

She let out a small cry and I reached for the doorknob worriedly.

"Alice, please?" I tried, earning me nothing but muffled noise.

I waited tearfully for another few minutes before I left my eighteen year old to her business, hoping she'd come out when she was ready.

Feeling defeated, I returned downstairs just in time to see my son and Alice's boyfriend coming through the door.

"Dad?" asked Emmett worriedly, dropping his bag beside Alice's. "Where are the girls?"

"Bella's asleep and Alice is upstairs." I said gruffly, not wanting to let tears fall in front of Jasper.

"Is Bella alright?" asked Jasper in his calm drawl.

"She's tired." I said with a shrug. "We have to talk." I added to Emmett, who instantly gave me the same look Alice had.

Wary and worried.

"I'll go see Ali." Said Jasper quietly, ducking around me and moving up my staircase.

At any other point in time, letting Alice's boyfriend into her bedroom would have been absolutely unthinkable, but under the current circumstances, I let it slide.

Jasper had more tact than to fornicate with an obviously distraught Alice.

"What happened?" asked Emmett nervously, standing against the wall.

I sighed.

"I've already told Alice." I said quietly.

"Just tell me, dad." He said sadly. "Are you going to admit her?"

"I have to call your mother." I admitted gently.

He stared.

"Mom?" he asked confusedly.

"Yes."

"For what?"

I looked up quickly.

"She'll want to be here when…"

My voice trailed off into suggestive silence.

Emmett nodded quickly and blinked a few times before he sighed heavily.

"Alice didn't like that, did she?" he guessed with a humourless chuckle.

"She's pretty upset." I admitted.

Some might accuse me of being unobservant, but I knew my kids better than anyone, and I knew that for Alice to keep me out was a pretty big problem. After Renee had left us, I was the only parental figure she knew and trusted.

Alice knew she could talk to me…

"Have you called yet?" asked Emmett.

"No." I said wearily, glancing at the couch. "I want to tell Bella first."

"Just call." Suggested Emmett. "Bella won't want you to, and we all know you'll give in to her."

He was right.

"Dad?" he asked nervously as more tears leaked out.

"Sorry." I said gruffly, wiping the tears hastily as I grabbed my address book from the basket atop the refrigerator and found Renee's number and address she'd left for the kids.

"Dad, do you want me to…?" asked Emmett sadly, eying the phone number in my hand.

"I'm fine." I said quickly. "You should go sit with your sister."

"Sure."

Emmett didn't mind Bella when she was asleep. With a sniff, he walked off towards the living room and I saw him seating himself in my recliner, his eyes focused on the little sleeping figure on the sofa.

With a heavy heart, I dialled the long distance number praying to god she was home…

It rang once before the phone clicked on the other end and to my horror, a male voice answered.

"Dwyer residence." He said stiffly.

"Can I speak with Renee, please?" I asked gruffly.

"Who is… Charlie?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah. Is she home?" I said quickly.

"Renee!" he called out, making me sniffle as there was a clatter, and the familiar voice of my ex rang over the receiver.

"Hello?"

Her voice was the same as I remembered, and I felt that instant pang of nostalgia and heartache.

"Renee."

"Oh god, Charlie." She said worriedly. "Is Bella--"

"She's alright for now." I said sadly, fighting the urge to tear up.

I had to keep myself together.

"For now?" asked Renee sadly. "What's the matter with her?"

"You should think about coming down in the next few days." I said gently. "She's…"

I choked up again.

"Charlie?"

"I'm here." I said sadly. "Think about it, please."

"Of course. I'll book a flight online right now. Is that little Podunk hotel still up and running?" she asked sadly.

"Yeah."

"Can you make me a reservation?" she asked.

"You don't need a reservation in Forks, Nay." I said with laugh.

She chuckled tearfully.

"No one's called me 'Nay' in years." She noted.

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Tell the kids I love them, and I'll see them soon." She said gently before the line went dead.

I stared at my wall for a long moment before I placed the phone down on the receiver with a dull _click._ Walking back to the living room, I discovered that Emmett had left for his bedroom again, and that Bella's eyes were open and tearful on the couch.

"You called mom." She whispered sadly.

I swallowed thickly and nodded, making her sniffle.

"She'll worry…" she said sadly. "You could have waited--"

"She'd want to be here for you." I said honestly. "She's your mother."

"What about Alice?" she asked sadly. "The two of them haven't spoken in seven years…"

"Alice is upset," I admitted, "but Renee deserves to be here."

She simply sighed and closed her eyes against her pillow once more, looking very worn out.

"I'm tired, daddy." She whispered.

My heart squeezed painfully as I grasped the full meaning of her words.

"I know."


	24. Chapter 24

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 24**

EmPOV

I'd never been able to imagine this moment before, but when it finally hit, I felt like a bullet had run its course right through me.

I wanted to fucking cry.

When dad told me he was calling mom down from Florida for Boo's last few weeks, it had come as a shock. Sure, I knew her time was running short, but I'd never imagined it was _that _short. Two to six weeks was an estimate. Carlisle could have been very wrong in his calculation, but even so, I wanted nothing to do with it.

I'd been the biggest coward on the face of the planet, and I'd avoided my little sister like the plague, trying desperately to delude myself into believing that none of this was happening.

If I didn't see her, I had no proof that she was wasting away. I remembered the little girl I'd escorted to the park, the one I tried to turn into my partner in crime, the one I'd forced to play action figures with me…

If I stayed away, maybe things would be better. Maybe I wouldn't taint the memories of my happy, energetic little sister with memories of her fading away to nothing.

I didn't want to remember her like that.

Now that mom was coming down, though, I knew things were serious.

What the hell had I done? She probably thought I hated her… God knows I'd barely spoken to her in weeks.

I was her fucking big brother… I was supposed to be the protector. I was supposed to be making her laugh and smile, not avoiding her.

I'd fucking failed.

When dad had sent me to go and sit with her, I'd done it out of sympathy for him. He was visibly distraught and she was sleeping-- no harm in that, right?

Wrong.

When I'd seen her, lying under her pile of blankets with her eyes closed and motionless, all I saw was her in a coffin at her funeral. I'd forced myself to sit until she began to stir, and like a bat out of hell, I'd dragged my sorry ass up to my room where I found myself crying.

Fucking _crying._

I couldn't even look at her anymore… and I was ashamed of that fact. Alice spent hours with her every day, and I couldn't even stand to sit near her for a few minutes?

That was some fucked up shit right there… I was mourning her already, and she wasn't even dead. I was wasting the time I could have spent with her by moping around and avoiding her. I could have done so much in the time I'd wasted, and now that her time was running out, I was going to pay for my mistake.

Even Edward had spent more time by her side than I had, and I knew as well as anyone how much of an impatient fucker he was. Before Bella had come home, he would often sit in with Jasper and I while we played videogames, or I harassed his mother for food. Edward was an alright guy in my opinion- though not one I would have chosen as Bella's new friend-- but personally, I thought he was pretty decent.

Rosalie begged to differ, though she would admit grudgingly that she _did _notice a change in him. She claimed he was finally "growing the fuck up".

I loved her and her dirty mouth…

Rosalie had become my haven- every time Bella was awake and roaming around the house, I'd disappear to Rose's place for a while until I knew she was in bed. After saying goodnight to Rosalie, I'd go home and find a disappointed Alice on the couch, asking me why I wouldn't speak to our sister.

Alice claimed that Bella was saddened by my disappearances, but I couldn't fucking help it.

I didn't want to see her like that…

If Rosalie was my soulmate, Alice was my fucking other half. She was the one who understood who I was, as cheesy as that sounded, and would always love her, no matter what happened between us.

I loved Bella just as much as I loved Alice, though she'd never understood me the way my twin did, and losing her was the hardest thing our family had undergone. We'd been left by our mother at a young age, but having one of our family members taken from us permanently wasn't even comparable.

How were you supposed to react to that? Did leukemia patients come with some sort of instruction manual called _How to Deal When I Die?_

I don't fucking think so.

No one could tell us how to deal with grief… we had to figure it out all by ourselves.

I was doing a pretty shitty job, I might add.

I'd always been careful with Bella, even before the cancer situation. She was delicate and fragile even from day one, and thanks to dad's regimented sessions with Alice's baby dolls, I'd learned that the new baby was for looking, not touching. I'd learned that I had to keep my hands to myself unless dad was around to pass her to me, and never was I to pick her up without permission.

I would break her, and that would be catastrophic.

When she'd developed cancer, we truly realized how delicate she was. I'd been six- only in the first grade- but I had distinct memories of the ride to Seattle, where Bella was in the hospital undergoing chemotherapy. Alice and I hadn't been allowed to see her until a week after her admission and Alice in particular, had been very concerned about what had happened to little Boo.

I'd been more concerned with missing an episode of _Ninja Turtles _on television that our neighbour, Mrs. Fitch, had promised me she'd let me watch. Mrs. Fitch was dad's go-to woman when Bella had first been diagnosed.

When we'd found Bella, bald and nauseous, I didn't know what to feel. Alice had cried in confusion and sadness but I'd simply observed her. She was a sad little four year old girl, cooped up in a bed and attached to wires and needles everywhere.

So even then, I'd done the only thing I knew how to do.

I made her laugh.

The sound was magical- the little, girlish giggle resounding through the room that made even dad perk up slightly. I'd demanded games from the playroom and we'd played round after round of _Trouble _and _Sorry! _until we were all played out.

I hadn't understood the gravity of her situation at that point in time, and I wasn't sure I fully understood it now.

_Saying _she was going to die was one thing, but actually _seeing _her die was quite another.

It was a nasty shock to my system, and no matter how badly I wanted to help, I knew that the best thing I could do was to get over my fears, and learn to face the truth.

APOV

"_I'm calling your mother tonight."_

My father's words echoed through my head as I sat on my bed, trying to make sense of the mess our lives had become.

As far as I was concerned, I had no mother. She had died during Bella's second relapse, when she failed to show up after we'd found out Bella could die. I'd been eleven years old, and right then and there, I'd disowned the woman who'd created me.

Dad might still love her, but I hated her and everything she stood for, including that new husband she called my stepfather.

I had _one _father, and he was downstairs, comforting my dying sister.

This imposter was most definitely _not _of any importance or relation to me…

I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

Renee Dwyer was my birth mother- she had given birth to my twin and myself, and she'd given us Bella after two years of isolation and estrangement. The only thing I could credit her with was my own birth, and those of my siblings. She'd broken dad's heart, abandoned her family, moved across the country, and had made almost no attempt to contact us.

Bella had spoken with her once every few months and if she changed cities or states, she'd send us a cheesy postcard.

She called me "Mary Alice"… if she knew anything about me, she'd know that I didn't respond to "Mary".

What kind of name was that, anyways? Alice was old fashioned enough, but at least it had personality.

Someone like me could _not _be named _Mary._

I knew, however, that Renee had a right to be here, and if it made my sister happy, I'd put up with her.

Renee wasn't the reason I was crying in my bedroom… she wasn't worth the trouble. No…having Renee come down from her little beach house in Florida made things even clearer-- it made them real.

My sister was dying… we were losing her, and there wasn't a single thing anyone could do about it.

What sort of retribution was this? What had we done that was so innately horrible that we deserved to have one of our own taken away?

It was one of those strange, incomprehensible obstacles life often threw at people- one that made no sense, no matter which angle you saw it from.

Where was the sense in a sixteen year old girl dying? Why was she even born if she was just going to be taken away from us so soon?

She wouldn't even graduate high school.

I pressed my face into my pillow to muffle the sound of my tears when I heard dad knocking and asking for entry, but no matter how much I loved and respected my father, not even he should see me in such a state.

Although he'd been spending a lot of time with Bella lately, I was old enough not to be offended or catty about it… I knew he loved me just as much as he did her, and I didn't blame him for trying to squeeze out every last second of time he had left with her.

When dad finally left, I was a mess.

How had things gone so wrong?

Thoughts threatened to draw me into the deep recesses of my own mind- something I'd been thoroughly repressing lately. I knew that trying to push feelings back wasn't the best idea, but my family was going through enough turmoil right now-- they didn't need hysterical little me on their hands as well.

With Emmett trying to avoid all contact with the situation and dad diving into it head first, both father and brother were ill equipped to deal with my hysteria.

And Bella was definitely out of the question… I could never impose myself on her like that when she was so weak and scared…

My pillow case was soaked right through when I pulled my head up, reaching for a tissue next to my bed. Wiping my eyes as best I could, I tried to salvage what was left of my eye makeup, even if the tears still oozed out.

"Ali?"

Damn it.

"Not now, Jazz." I said sadly, my voice cracking on every syllable.

"Please let me in, darlin'."

I hesitated, wiping my tearful eyes furiously.

He didn't need to deal with me either. My selfish tears weren't his concern…

"Alice, come on." He said worriedly. "Let me in."

My determination cracked much sooner with Jasper than it would have with my father, and with light footsteps, I took the few steps over to the door, unlocking it gently. As soon as it clicked, the knob turned and the door cracked open, revealing my worried, saddened Jasper.

"Oh Ali…" he said softly, closing my door behind him as I wrapped my arms around myself. With one swoop, he drew me into a hug and his shirt became my crying post instead of my pillow.

"Don't cry…" he soothed, bringing me over to the bed to sit down.

I let out a small, sad squeak before he patted my back calmly.

I loved him.

"I know it's hard." He said gently.

Of course he knew… he'd lost both his parents before he could even pass the first grade.

Jasper had always known.

"It's not fair, Jazz."

"I know, darlin'." He whispered with a small kiss. "Nothin's really fair…"

He watched me gently for a moment before he took my hand in his and laid us down on my damp cushions. I laid my head on the top of his chest, my head fitting snugly under his chin. His long arm wrapped around me as I sniffled and dabbed the moisture with my sleeve.

"What are you scared of?" he asked curiously.

"I'm not scared." I defended thickly.

"Yes you are." He said knowingly. "I know you…"

I squeaked sadly again.

"I'm not scared." I insisted.

Was I?

"Ali, please don't shut me out." He begged sadly. "I want to help you…"

"I'm scared I'll miss her." I blurted.

He nodded.

"She's _always _been there…" I blubbered. "_Always... _I can't remember a time when she wasn't."

"She'll still be here." Said Jasper gently. "You love her."

"She's leaving." I groaned sadly.

I wasn't going to be a big sister anymore.

"Physically." He admitted.

"Please don't preach to me." I said desperately.

I'd never been particularly religious, but after all the crap with Renee and this ordeal with Bella, I had a hard time believing that some sort of god was watching over us.

I knew he had better things to do, if he existed at all.

Dad believed, to an extent, and Emmett had never really disputed it, but I'd adamantly refused to believe any word of it.

Why would a supposedly caring god inflict such pain on one family?

"I'm not preaching." Defended Jasper gently, rubbing my back soothingly. "It's what Carlisle told me when I started asking questions about my dad."

I listened.

"He told me that even when people pass away, they'll always _exist." _He whispered.

"She won't be here." I insisted again.

He watched me with his understanding blue eyes, ready to explain himself.

"Her body won't be here, but her memory will be." He said. "She touched your life profoundly, and no matter what anyone says, they'll never erase her."

"What if Iforget?" I asked worriedly.

Was it _possible_ to forget?

"You won't." he assured me softly. "Trust me."

I felt a pang of sadness for Jasper as well, suddenly wondering how often his parents passed through his head. He'd been only six when they died, but I knew better than to think that six years wasn't enough time for memories…

At six, Bella had already become entwined in almost every memory I had.

"Do you think about them?" I asked quietly, glancing up softly.

"Every day." He admitted quietly. "I think I always will."

I waited as he hesitated for a brief moment.

"Bella's a good kid." He said softly.

"I know."

"Trust me, darlin', if you love her, you won't forget her." He said softly.

"I do love her." I said confidently.

"Then she'll always be there." He said simply. "She'll be a part of you, but she'll be there."

With a sniffle and another tear, I laid my head down on his chest once more and savoured his steady heartbeat and warm breath on my hair.


	25. Chapter 25

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 25**

ChPOV

Two plane rides, one layover and three delays later, Renee arrived at SeaTac International airport with enough baggage and clothing to last her a lifetime.

I'd picked her up, like she'd requested, and driven her in silence to Forks, where I dropped her at her hotel with her bags and room key, making sure she was alright.

It had been a horrible shock to see her coming through her gate- as beautiful and smiling as ever, with only a few more lines and a grey hair or two. She was still the same woman I'd fallen in love with twenty years earlier, and she was definitely the woman I'd pined for ever since.

But she was married…

Renee reminded me wholly of our daughters in different ways-- Alice had definitely inherited her bubbly personality and outgoing character, whether she admitted to it or not, but she looked more like my mother had before she passed. Alice had inherited my family's traits- the short stature, the small, but very defined features, the overall air of mischief… it was all markings of a Swan girl. She acted like the young Renee, but she looked like a younger version Marie Swan, but with straight hair instead of the trademark curls.

Bella, on the other hand, was the splitting image of her mother. Renee had straight, thick hair and Bella had inherited my family's wild curls, but her face was the very mirror of her mother's.

It was like looking back through a time machine to when I'd first noticed Renee in our sophomore year of high school.

Bella had the soft features- the full mouth, the small, straight nose, the large doe-eyes…

It was Renee all over again, but unlike her peppy sister, Bella had inherited all my gracelessness and awkwardness. My daughter had been cursed with my clumsiness from day one, and like me, she didn't mind being alone. She shared common interests with me and she'd oftentimes been able to relate to me on a level that Renee, Alice and Emmett never could.

My son was the hearty mix- the happy Higgenbottom attitude and soft facial features with a healthy dose of the Swan's classic male stature and dark, rampant curls.

I was shocked, to say the least, that Renee asked to accompany me back to our old home instead of getting settled into her hotel room.

"The kids aren't home from school yet…" I warned.

She laughed darkly.

"I doubt Alice will want to see me anyways." She admitted.

I wisely said nothing… my daughter would _tolerate _Renee's presence, but she wouldn't like it.

For all I loved my ex wife, Renee had hurt Alice horribly, and I didn't blame my daughter for feeling the resentment and unfriendliness towards her.

It wasn't my battle to fight.

"Bella's home?" she asked worriedly, looking slightly leery.

"Of course she is." I said, scandalized that she could think otherwise as I slid into the cruiser.

She coloured slightly and fell silent as I drove the familiar streets towards our old home.

Renee hadn't seen the house since she'd run out thirteen years ago, and I wondered what she'd think.

When we pulled into the driveway, she had a sad frown on her face, looking resigned.

"You didn't even repaint the exterior?" she asked incredulously

I glanced over at the whitewashed walls she'd painted herself nearly twenty years ago and blushed deeply.

I couldn't bring myself to undo the work she'd done… it was the only evidence that she'd ever really lived here.

"No." I said gruffly. "Haven't had the time."

She sighed and walked towards the door, opening it softly.

It looked so right, seeing her at the front door.

"The cabinets too, Charlie?" she asked, amused as she glanced over the yellow cabinets she'd painted during her first pregnancy.

"Bella and Alice like the colour." I lied. Alice despised that colour with every cell in her body, calling it "banana baby puke".

Ali sure knew how to flatter.

"Where is she?" asked Renee gently, glancing over at me.

"She's got a visitor." I admitted grudgingly.

That damn Cullen kid had shown up on the doorstep this morning, informing me with a factual, indisputable voice that he was going to stay with Bella while I went to get Renee settled in at her hotel.

I couldn't bring myself to care that he was skipping his classes… Bella couldn't be left alone, and as much as I didn't like him, he'd proven himself worthy of her, to some degree.

That boy had sat beside her day after day ever since she'd been bedridden. He spent every available hour with her, playing card games, reading her novels and watching her films.

He'd even made her a CD of some classical music, telling her that she'd always be able to "hear him play". According to Alice, that boy was some sort of delinquent piano prodigy.

"Living room." I said gruffly to Renee as she watched me expectantly.

Without a word, my tall, graceful ex waltzed into the living room where the Cullen kid was sitting on one of the cushions on the floor, watching my daughter as she slept.

"Hello…" said Renee confusedly, glancing at me for support.

"Hi." Said Edward.

"This is Edward." I said awkwardly, glancing over at Renee.

"Hi Edward." She said happily. "Just call me Renee."

She shook his hand eagerly, taking a seat on the recliner.

She'd loved that recliner when she was pregnant…

"She fell asleep." Said Edward softly, glancing up at me.

"Yeah, I noticed." I said dryly.

"Charlie!"

I glanced over at Renee, who looked scandalized.

"Be nice." She ordered.

"Sorry." I said passively, waving my hand indifferently.

Renee glowered and I felt the same, familiar jolt of fear I used to feel when her pregnancy hormones would get the best of her.

"We were watching Ghostbusters." Said Edward unhelpfully.

I bit my tongue and fell silent as he stood and stretched, popping his elbows.

"I'll leave you guys alone." He said softly. "Tell Bella I said bye?"

I nodded.

"Thanks for sitting with her, Edward." I said grudgingly.

He smiled crookedly before he took himself and his arrogant ass out of my house.

Thank God.

"He seems like a sweet boy." Noted Renee as she watched him leave through the field.

I snorted, unable to stop myself.

"I wouldn't call him 'sweet'…" I said confidently. "He's a delinquent."

"Every boy who comes near your daughters is a delinquent." Said Renee passively, standing up once more. "I like him."

Without another word, Renee moved over to Bella and gently laid her hand on her forehead, testing her temperature.

"Poor thing." She said sympathetically. I could see the guilt written all over her face, and I knew she was thinking of Bella's second relapse.

Not only had the cancer relapsed, but Renee's judgement had undergone the same effects. She sighed heavily and looked at me with tired eyes.

"When do Alice and Emmett get home?" she asked gently, glancing at her watch.

"Anytime," I admitted, seeing the clock flash 3:05, "but I wouldn't be surprised if Alice went over to Jasper's instead."

Renee said nothing, but fell silent once more.

The silence ensued for five full minutes- the only sounds coming from her fidgeting and Bella's steady breathing.

"Dad?"

The door opened and closed softly as my son's voice rang out.

"In the living room." I called back softly. Renee looked nervous as she stiffened slightly.

Emmett had never shown a particular love for his mother either.

"I thought you'd be--" he fell silent as he caught sight of Renee in the recliner.

"Hey." He said gruffly, turning away with a slight colouring to his cheeks.

"Hi." Offered Renee sadly. Emmett stood awkwardly in the doorway, glancing between Bella and Renee before he cleared his throat and turned around, walking up the stairs with his book bag.

"Is Alice coming home?" I called after him as quietly as I could.

"I think so, but I wouldn't expect her to stay very long!" he called back.

Renee sighed heavily again.

"I'll go." She said gently.

"No." I said quickly, desperate to keep her around for even just a bit longer. "You and Alice need to sort this out before Bella gets involved… she doesn't need the stress."

_Quick thinking, Charlie._

"I suppose." She admitted, glancing at her pale, sickly little girl. I heard the familiar purring of Jasper  
Hale's rarely used, expensive car, and I immediately glanced out the front window.

"She's pretty." Noted Renee sadly, watching Alice through the sheers.

Indeed, she was. My daughter had all the grace of a ballerina on her side, and the delicate features of a fairy. She was small, but very unique and appealing. Alice had a small smile on her face as she traipsed up the steps in a mirror image of Renee's own grace, making the latter bristle uncomfortably before the door opened and closed quietly and Alice peeked in.

The smile was wiped off of her face in a heartbeat and she stiffened defensively before she pursed her lips and stared her mother down angrily.

"Hi Alice." Said Renee bravely.

I could see Alice resisting a rude retort as she ignored the greeting and proceeded to move closer to Bella.

It was a new routine- come home, examine Bella for signs of deterioration, then go about the rest of her evening in her usual, happy manner.

"How was school?" I asked gently.

"Fine." She said in a clipped tone. "Rose and I finished our project."

"That's good."

"Depends on what you define as 'good'." She shot back venomously.

The sting of her words hit hard, and I swallowed thickly.

"I sort of wish I had an excuse to leave." She added, looking over her mother distastefully.

Renee squirmed under Alice's stare and I sighed heavily.

How was I supposed to reconcile my stressed eighteen year old with her estranged, absent mother?

"We should all have a talk." I decided firmly.

Without a word, my daughter shot me a nasty glare before she turned on her heel and dragged a chair loudly from the kitchen table and threw herself down on it in her own fit of temper.

"Emmett?"

"What?" he asked softly, peeking his head down the stairs. His eyes flickered uncomfortably to Renee for a moment before he looked at me for instruction.

"Come on down." I said gently.

Without complaint, he complied and boomed past me in his usual loud fashion, plopping himself in his usual seat. Alice had dragged her chair to the counter, where she sat with her feet on Bella's usual seat, leaving my chair for Renee.

Alice didn't want Renee in Bella's chair.

"Alice, give me that." I said tiredly, pointing at her chair. She waited until Renee took a seat in my place before she let me have her sister's and I sighed sadly, glancing over worriedly.

Alice wasn't usually catty or mean, and her abrupt change in behaviour bothered me.

"How's she been?" asked Renee softly.

Alice snorted angrily, earning her three sad stares.

"Maybe if you called her once in a while, you'd already know." She snapped.

"Alice." I scolded.

She ignored me.

"I was busy." Said Renee in a meagre defence.

"Oh that's right!" cried Alice, sounding much more like her usual self. If it weren't for the angry flame blazing behind her eyes and the tearful, angry stance, I'd have thought she was back to normal. "I forgot that you're too busy to check in with your dying daughter."

"Alice!" I said curtly.

She rounded on me instead, a tear falling.

"What, dad?" she challenged.

I sighed.

"Not now, okay?"

"Then when, dad?" she demanded. "After Bell wakes up or after the funeral?"

"Watch yourself." I warned.

She frowned at me, looking hurt before she turned to her mother angrily.

"I hate you." She whispered, shaking with rage.

"I know." Said Renee sadly, swallowing thickly.

Alice fell into a stony silence and Emmett watched her worriedly.

"Come here, Ali-Cat." He said gently, making Renee glance over sadly.

_Ali-Cat._ Now _there _was a name I hadn't heard in over a decade…

With a small sniffle, Alice bounded from her chair right into Emmett's waiting embrace, allowing his arms to consume her little frame in one of his massive hugs. She sat awkwardly on his lap but stayed where she was, her small frame shaking.

Renee watched with gentle, maternal eyes.

She'd missed out on so much with those two…

"Have you set an admission date yet?" asked Renee shakily, wiping her eyes with her fingers to stall the few tears that had fallen.

"Bella doesn't want a date." I said hesitantly. "She wants to let it play out first…"

"And then what?" asked Renee incredulously. "She passes out and ends up…"

"Shut up!" cried Alice angrily from Emmett's shoulder, looking over at her mother with unparalleled rage. "How dare you judge her choices after you--" she started, breathing heavily.

"After I what?" snapped Renee. "Cared for her for eight months of her life?"

"Abandoned her in a hospital to die!" shouted Alice angrily.

"Ali…" said Emmett gently, rubbing her shoulder with his large hand.

"I didn't _abandon _her--" said Renee indignantly.

"You lying bitch!"

"Alice!" I barked.

She turned to me tearfully.

"She almost died back then too, daddy, and you know it."

_Daddy…_

I felt a tear fall down my cheek as well as Emmett tried to stop Alice's sudden onslaught of rage and sadness.

"But she didn't." I said gently.

My poor, stressed little Alice burst into violent tears on her brother's shoulder as I watched sadly and Renee examined the old wooden tabletop.

"Ali, you know I hate sappy shit…" said Emmett nervously, glancing down at her feathery hair sadly.

She cried harder, and he wisely fell silent, simply patting her head softly with a gentle shushing.

"I'm sorry." said Renee softly, looking up at Alice with tears falling down her own cheeks.

"Please don't fight."

All of us, minus Alice, looked over towards the doorway quickly, seeing Bella standing up with difficulty, her thin arms supporting her on the doorframe. Her blanket was pooled around her feet and her body was skin and bones, but she had an intense look in her eye that told me she meant business.

"Please don't fight…" she repeated sadly. Alice glanced up from Emmett's shoulder, facing away from me, but whatever Bella saw there made her tear up as well and she moved over, hugging Alice quickly before she offered her a kiss on the cheek-- mimicking Alice's own chosen method of comfort.

"Hi mom." She said tiredly.

"Hi Bella." Said Renee formally, obviously uncomfortable with all her children, now that Alice had spoken her mind.

"When did you get in?"

"Earlier." Said Renee vaguely.

"Bell, sit." I said firmly, pointing her to Alice's abandoned chair. I pulled it closer with my foot and sat it between myself and Emmett- the closest spot to her swaying form. She collapsed into it with a sigh of relief and I immediately stood, offering her the bottle of pain pills and a cold glass of water.

"Thanks, dad." She said fondly. Renee watched our interaction curiously, and I wondered whether or not she missed being a mother…

…and my wife.

"You're good with them, Charlie." She said quietly.

I felt a flush of pride wash over me before I nodded awkwardly, glancing at each of my kids in turn.

"Will you stay for dinner?" I asked quietly, making Renee hesitate.

"I don't think so." She admitted. "Is that little Chinese place still up and running?"

"It closed a few years ago." I admitted. "No one was buying."

She frowned, sighing.

"What is open, then?"

I hesitated.

"Stay for dinner and we'll order a pizza or something." I offered sadly.

Renee hesitated again, glancing towards Alice for a moment before she nodded quickly.

"Alright then."

I smiled softly.

"I'll order."

For the first time in years, it didn't matter that Renee was remarried. It didn't matter that she had a husband off playing a mandatory ball game somewhere in Europe, it didn't matter that Alice hated her, and it didn't matter that Bella was sick.

For the first time in thirteen years, I had my family back together.


	26. Chapter 26

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 26**

EmPOV

After Alice had relaxed from her meltdown at the kitchen table and we'd all had a slice or two of pizza, mom had gone back to her hotel and dad had gone up to bed. Alice was having an intimate conversation with Jasper up in her room before she went to bed, and Bella was sitting where she always was these days- on the living room couch, with the television turned to her favourite station.

Nickelodeon.

I decided then and there that it was time for me to man the fuck up and spend some quality time with my baby sister before I wouldn't be allowed to.

"Hey Bell." I said easily, walking into the living room. She gave a little jump of fright before he wide eyes fell on me with a soft, relieved smile.

"Hi." She said quietly, watching me carefully.

What the hell should I say?

She watched me watching her and things got awkward very fast.

"Are you heading to bed?" she ventured carefully, glancing at the clock.

Ten thirty.

"No."

She stared.

"Okay."

Okay? I watched as she turned back to her show, looking curious, but resigned.

She wasn't expecting me to stay, and my chest gave a little clench as I observed her idly, wondering what was running through her head. Her face was delicate-looking and pale- all one uniform colour except for the slight flush of her cheeks. She'd never had acne as a kid unlike Alice and I, and her skin had benefitted from it- remaining smooth and very soft throughout her teenage years. Her little arm protruding from the top of her blanket was similar in colour and pallor to her face- white and delicate.

Bella had always been very white and delicate… more so than anyone else I'd ever known. Our family had naturally pale complexions- especially living way up in cloudy northern Washington- but Bella's off-set blood counts only made her paleness that much more pronounced.

She definitely looked sick now, if she hadn't already before.

Watching her made me think of all the time I'd wasted _avoiding _her… what had I been so scared of? What about her had driven me away? Why had I wasted so much time?

It was cut short as it was, and there I was, wasting it away like it was nothing.

_It was definitely something._

Without a word from either of us, I braved my own conscience and sat myself down in the empty spot beside her, making her glance over.

She gave a little cough before she cleared her throat and stared at me.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not rude or unkind.

I didn't answer, but turned my gaze to the episode of SpongeBob.

That starfish was pretty cool…

Nodding to herself with a small smile on her face, she turned back to the television, clearing her throat again.

"Are you okay?" I asked nervously.

The last thing I needed was for her to get sick the minute I sit down next to her.

"Just a tickle." She said idly, shrugging. "I'm fine."

Even her _voice _sounded sick… I hadn't heard much of it lately…

Creeping my sister while she was sleeping was the closest I'd come to any sort of connection with her in the last month or so.

I felt like a fucking freak just thinking about it.

The credits rolled around and a new show came on, making me sigh softly.

She wasn't watching the television anymore… she was watching me. Her brown eyes were focused directly on my face as she watched me with those piercing eyes she'd inherited from our father, though they were shaped like Renee's. Dad could look right through any guise or distraction, just like Bella could.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly, looking concerned.

She was concerned for _me?_

"Nothing." I replied quickly. She frowned slightly with a sigh, looking momentarily frustrated.

"Why are you watching cartoons with me?" she asked bluntly.

I bristled under her scrutiny.

"I've missed you." I admitted honestly, making her blink twice before she responded.

"I've been right here." She said, frustrated

She was angry with me.

"I know."

She turned her head to face me, her eyes tearful and upset.

… and worried?

"Are you mad at me?" she whispered sadly.

"Mad?" I asked incredulously. She nodded quickly, looking scared.

"No!" I said quickly. "Why would I be mad?"

A tear that had brimmed in her eye fell down her cheek, hitting the blanket quickly.

"Because it would make sense." She whispered in embarrassment.

"How?" I asked sceptically.

"Dad spends all his time with me… it would make sense that you're mad…"

"You think I'm jealous?" I asked, shocked. "I think I'm a little old for that, now…"

"He's still _your _dad too…"

"Bella, enough." I said sternly. "I'm not mad, okay?"

She stared at me silently, her brow pulled together in confusion as she coughed lightly, brushing her tears aside. She watched me resignedly before she shrugged and sat back against the back of the couch with a tired sigh.

"Were you avoiding me?" she whispered.

Damn it.

"Bell…" I started gently, reaching out.

It hurt when she pulled away.

"Were you?" she asked quickly, looking upset.

"Yes." I said in a quiet whisper, making her eyes brighten once more.

"Why?"

I couldn't answer her.

"Just go." She said harshly after a moment's silence, sounding much like Alice had while speaking to Renee.

"Bella, please." I said softly.

She turned to me with a hard, angry stare.

"You've avoided me for the past month, what's another night?" she asked sarcastically. "I know you want to, so just go."

"I don't want to." I countered.

"Then why'd you--"

"I never wanted to." I interrupted sadly. She glanced over once more, her eyes still bright with lingering tears.

"But you did." She whispered. "I've wondered and asked myself _why… _did I do something wrong?"

Her tears spilled.

"No." I said quickly. "No, you didn't do anything. It was nothing you said, or did… fuck." I said confusedly.

"I missed you." She said sadly, wrapping her arms around her middle.

It was what Alice did when she was trying to hold herself together, and I sensed an incoming flood.

"I'm sorry." I whispered sadly.

"Why'd you stop talking to me?" she asked desolately.

"I wanted to remember you."

She stared in confusion.

"You wanted to… what?" she asked.

"Remember you." I said pitifully. "Like the real you."

"I am the real me." She said bluntly. "I'm not a fake, I promise."

I cracked a small smile before I sighed heavily and watched her.

"Remember when you were six and that kid at the park knocked you off the swing?" I said quietly. "You cried and I clocked him."

"I remember." She said with a grin. "Dad gave you a lecture on not punching kids who were smaller than you."

I nodded.

"Or the time when Alice and I taught you how to ride without training wheels on a bike that summer?" I offered.

"I fell on my ass." She recalled with a small grin. "I wasn't laughing then."

"Neither was dad." I reminded her. "You were smaller than Ali-Cat back then."

"She was taller." Recalled Bella softly, nodding. "Too bad it didn't last."

"And then, when you were twelve and that kid was hitting on you?" I asked, remembering dad's fishing friend, Billy Black, and his flirtatious son, Jacob.

"Jacob." Said Bella fondly. "He moved." She remembered sadly.

"Yeah, after I beat the snot out of him." I reminded her.

"That was mean." She said indignantly. "He was nice."

"I had to do it on principle." I explained simply.

"Which principle?" she demanded dubiously.

"The 'big brother beats up potential mates' principle." I said gravely.

She chuckled to herself before she sighed sadly.

"Where are you going with this?" she asked.

"_That's _the real you." I whispered. "Things have changed…"

She frowned.

"I wanted to remember the happy you."

Her bottom lip trembled before she reached over and wrapped her arms around my middle as best she could.

"I'm sorry." she said tearfully, her voice muffled by my chest. I shook my head and gently returned the affection, being very careful not to hurt or bruise her. Her hair tickled my neck and I relished the feeling, knowing how lucky she was to have hair in the first place.

It could tickle me all it wanted.

"It's not your fault." I said gruffly.

She shivered against me and I immediately pulled her blanket up closer, draping it around her shoulders. She didn't let go, and I felt myself growing more and more tearful.

"I just wanted _my _Bella." I whispered sadly.

"I'm the same person." She whispered thickly. "The same as I was back then."

"I know." I whispered brokenly. "That's what hurts."

She gave a small moan of sadness before I patted her hair, much as I'd done with Ali earlier. She let out a few little shudders before she composed herself and pulled herself off of me, looking up with red eyes.

"I love you." I said honestly, earning me a small smile.

"I know you do. I love you too." She replied tiredly, yawning heavily before she coughed again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked nervously.

"I'm fine." She replied sadly, smiling bravely.

"You should get some sleep." I advised quietly, making her frown.

"I don't want to." She admitted.

Who was I to boss her around?

"More cartoons?" I offered slyly, turning back to the episode of_ Fairly Odd Parents _on the TV.

She grinned as I sat back on the sofa, letting her scoot her way down with her blanket and pillow in hand, hugging the pillow around her middle for comfort and resting her head on my arm. I lifted it gently and let my arm fall on her shoulders as the lights from the cartoon flickered, casting shadows around the room as she rested against me much as Rosalie did when we were together. She had her blanket wrapped around herself and with the covers and my body warmth working in her favour, she was warm and cozy as the show played on.

The show was pretty stupid, to be honest, but Bella seemed to enjoy the cheap graphics and unrealistic plot, so I sat through it, eagerly pointing out any discrepancies or errors I managed to notice. Bella always came to the defence of her show before she started to grow more and more sleepy, and eventually, her eyes drifted shut and she fell asleep against my chest. Her little body was warm and soothing against me and somehow, being able to feel the rise and fall of her chest against mine was a comfort-- it showed she still had some life left in her.

I debated for a long moment about carrying her up to her bed, but decided that it wasn't worth the risk of waking her up. When the clock struck eleven thirty, I was sure she was deeply asleep and I pried her off of me, making sure to disentangle her arms as gently as I could from their place around my middle. She was limp as a dead fish and I repressed a chuckle as I laid her down against her pillow, making sure no limbs were left out in the cold before I tucked the blanket around her and sighed, standing up. I brought her feet into my old spot- the warm spot- and turned on the small space heater dad had produced, to ensure that she could keep her own body warm.

She had a hard time with that, sometimes, especially when she was sick or weak. She moved very little and remained very sedentary, so keeping warm was sometimes a hard task, especially during the cold night time hours.

"Goodnight, Boo." I whispered gently before I gave into my strange urge and kissed her cheek softly- much as my father and Alice did- and moved quietly up the stairs to my own bedroom, where I fell down on my bed and closed my eyes, trying to burn her image into my mind.


	27. Chapter 27

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 27**

APOV

My eyes felt like they were glued shut as a peculiar noise from downstairs woke me from my sleep, and I tried to open them up.

I'd fallen asleep early on in the evening after Renee had left, and after my meltdown in the kitchen, I'd been exhausted and upset. My eyes unstuck themselves as the sound echoed up the stairs once again, and I glanced at my clock.

There was some unholy force at work if I was woken up at two thirty in the morning on a school night…

The sound came again, and I sat up tiredly, running a hand through my tousled hair. I wondered what Emmett was doing now-- he, dad and Bella all slept like the living dead, but I'd been cursed with sensitive hearing, ensuring that I woke up to every noise and creak my house had to offer.

Emmett oftentimes got up to some mischief during the night time hours, usually involving the pantry's supply of food.

I heard a dull bang from downstairs, and I frowned as I slid my feet out of bed and slipped on a pair of socks.

I hated cold feet.

With a sigh and a shiver, I drew myself out of bed, feeling the cool air hitting my bare arms and legs. My door was closed and locked- as it was every night- and when I opened it, I could hear more strange noises from my lower floor.

Had something broken through a window? I remembered once in my youth when a tree branch from a particularly nasty storm had crashed through the front window without our notice during the night, and we'd woken up the very next morning to a full-grown, angry racoon sitting in the middle of our living room…

This didn't sound like a racoon, and with a jolt of realization, I thought of my sister.

She'd been sleeping downstairs lately, since the trek upstairs was hard for her sore, stiff limbs, and I wondered if she was alright.

I motored down the steps and squinted through the darkness, not wanting to wake her up if she was sleeping.

Carlisle had said that sleep was good for her body right now, since it was trying to make up for the energy she was losing. It wanted to make sure she stayed as healthy as she could be, and sleep could give her more time…

"Bell?" I whispered gently into the darkness, torn between going into the kitchen and the living room.

I heard a coughing noise before there was a splatter from the kitchen, and I felt a jolt of fear.

"Bella?"

"Ali…"

I instantly flicked on the kitchen light and gasped in horror.

Bella was bent over the kitchen sink in an extreme amount of pain, but that wasn't the worst of it- she had blood covering her mouth and nose, and I recognized the signs of a hemorrhage. She'd had them before, but I'd never seen this much blood…

"Holy shit, Bell!" I cried worriedly, rushing forward. Dark red, sticky blood covered the inside of the sink and as I glanced down at the floor, I could see a trail of it leading from the living room to where she stood. She had tear tracks down her face as she watched me with sad, scared eyes.

"I feel sick." She whispered quickly, right before I grabbed the trash can and set it next to her.

I needed dad…

Before I could leave, she fell to her knees with a bang and heaved into the garbage can violently- reminding me of the onset of all her chemotherapy treatments.

More blood…

"Dad!" I cried loudly, praying to god he'd hear me.

No response.

"Alice…" she said sadly, her body shaking with effort and sickness. I felt adrenaline coursing through me as I kissed the top of her head and dashed up the stairs, crying.

"Dad!" I shouted as I raced down the hallway, flicking on the light.

"What the fuck, Alice?" said Emmett angrily, peeking his head out of his doorway. "Is that blood?" he asked worriedly, looking at my hands.

"Dad!" I cried again as Emmett, white faced with realization, flew down the stairs at as fast as he could.

Dad's door was closed, and as soon as I could, I banged loudly and threw it open, flicking his light on.

"What?" he asked groggily, sitting up slowly as he ran his hand over his eyes.

"Dad…" I said tearfully. "She's bleeding."

He stared for a moment before he frowned and threw his feet over the edge of the bed, walking out swiftly.

"Dad!" Emmett called from the kitchen, sounding very distraught and upset. I followed dad as quickly as I could down to the kitchen where Emmett held the phone to his ear, having dialled 911. Dad immediately rushed to Bella, who was still hunched over the trashcan with blood leaking from her nose and coming up with every violent cough from her chest.

"They're sending an ambulance." Said Emmett quickly, making dad nod as he spoke softly to Bella, trying to encourage her. He looked up swiftly and paled when he saw how much blood she'd lost in the sink, simply encouraging her to sit down and relax herself, to try and get her heart rate down. We all knew that she was low in platelets…

She'd need a transfusion.

I stood in complete shock for a moment before a gurgling noise came from her and she coughed up blood again before she caught sight of it on her hand and gasped lightly, her eyes rolling back as she fell into a dead faint.

"Bella!" shouted dad worriedly, tapping her cheek gently. Emmett hastily explained the new revelation to the phone operator, just as the red and blue lights illuminated the window and the sirens became louder.

There was a loud knocking on the door and without hesitation, I flew over and wrenched it open, allowing two EMTs with a stretcher into the kitchen where they took Bella's vital signs and managed to get her on the gurney.

"We'll take her down to the ER." Said the lead paramedic to dad, who simply nodded.

"How much blood has she lost?" he asked quietly, a mask of calm overriding any emotion he might have been feeling. Dad simply gestured to the floor and sink, inviting him to look.

"Do you know her blood type?" he asked gently, making dad stare

We knew her _everything _type. We knew what her bone marrow makeup was, for Christ's sake.

"AB positive." Said dad wearily, glancing at the clock before he ran a hand over his day-old stubble. The medic left the room as quickly as he'd come in, and without hesitation, dad turned on the sink and ran his hands under the water. The water in the sink turned a vivid red as the blood washed down as well, and without looking at it, I ran my hand under carefully, wiping all traces of blood away.

I didn't want Bella's blood on my hands.

"Let's go." Said Emmett gravely, glancing at the clock on the microwave.

2:41

Had it really only been ten minutes?

"Alice, let's go." Said dad quietly, brandishing my jacket at me as I took it gently and threw it on, forgetting that I was wearing a small pair of shorts and a tank top.

The coat wouldn't be of much help. Emmett had on a pair of pyjama bottoms and no shirt and dad was dressed in his casual nightwear consisting of flannel pants and a cotton t shirt, and as soon as we were all in the cruiser with Emmett in the back seat, he flicked on his lights and sped through the town as fast as he could, arriving just after the ambulance had pulled into the ER.

"Do you know if Carlisle's working?" asked dad sadly, turning to both Emmett and I.

"Jasper said he'll be off at seven tomorrow morning." I said, remembering how Jasper and I had attempted to make idle conversation.

We'd never been good at small talk.

"Okay." Said dad, parking in the anaesthesiologist's reserved parking spot.

Being a cop had its perks, especially when you were the chief.

I was tired and slightly disoriented, but very worried as I followed my father and brother through the ER's sliding doors, walking up to the admitting nurse.

"My daughter was just brought in?" asked dad wearily, watching her with scrutinizing, hard eyes.

"Oh yes." Said the nurse in her well-practiced happy voice. "She's with the doctor right now and they're getting her set up. I'll let you know when you can see her when she's settled."

Dad glowered at the woman but placed a hand on both mine and Emmett's shoulders, leading us towards three of the padded emergency room seats the patients used. Dad sat in the centre and Emmett and I on either side, none of us daring to speak.

We all knew what this could mean-- this could be it.

"I'll call Renee." Said dad quietly, producing his police cell phone from his pocket.

As far as I was concerned, Renee could go back to Florida, but for Bella's sake, I wasn't going to argue with him.

My sister loved everyone, our mother included. Dad took his phone gently and went past the sliding doors to the outside, where cell phone use was permitted. I saw him speaking to what I assumed to be Renee's answering machine, and although I knew she would be asleep, I felt a pang of anger towards her for not answering.

Her daughter could die tonight, and she wouldn't even know.

What if Bella asked to see her?

Emmett, looking very worn out and tired, glanced towards dad through the glass and sighed heavily before dad returned with his phone.

"Voicemail." He said in frustration, slamming the phone down on the small table in front of us and sitting back with a huff.

Dad was rarely mad enough to slam things, and suddenly felt very tired, and very overwhelmed.

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry." Said dad, his voice much gentler and softer than before. I sniffed and forced them back as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in closer, letting me rest on him.

"There was so much of it…" I said sadly, shuddering at the memory.

"You know how she bleeds." He said soothingly. "She has almost no platelets…"

"Still." I said sadly. "It was scary."

"I know, honey." Said dad softly. "I'm just glad you woke up."

"So am I." I shuddered.

What would have happened if I'd have gone back to sleep?

She could have bled out right there on the kitchen floor…

I forced _that _thought out of my head with vigour.

"Someone should tell Edward." I said suddenly, making dad sigh.

"I'll ask Carlisle to tell him in the morning. No use having him rush down here to sit in the waiting room until visiting hours start." He said grudgingly.

I nodded, knowing full well that Edward would come racing down here as fast as he could if we told him that Bella had been brought in via ambulance.

That boy was completely enamoured with my sister, and I always found myself wondering whether or not they could have had a romantic relationship, if she wasn't so sick…

They were definitely compatible, but I guess we'd never know.

"Charlie." Said a familiar voice coming through the doors. Carlisle walked towards us, his ER scrubs and bloodied medical gloves still on his hands. The mask he'd worn was still around his neck and by the looks of his hair, he'd only just removed the hairnet he'd been forced to wear.

"Where is she?" asked dad wearily.

Carlisle sighed.

"We've stabilized her and she's been brought up to the ICU." He admitted gently. "I think were at the admission phase."

She wouldn't be going home.

"I figured as much." Said dad sadly. "Can we see her?"

Carlisle smiled sadly.

"Normally, we don't let family into the ICU after visiting hours, but I think the faculty will understand." He said quietly.

Dad nodded thankfully, and without hesitation, all three of us followed Carlisle tiredly to the elevator.

I was acutely aware of how short my pyjama shorts were, and I was glad when Carlisle offered me a pair of scrubs to borrow. The hospital was warm enough, but it was kept cooler than our house was.

After taking a pit stop at the public washroom, Emmett and I both received warmer clothes and we changed quickly, disinfecting our hands afterwards to allow us into the ward.

_Intensive Care Unit._

The walls were a sickening cream colour and each room was in very near proximity to the nurses' station.

"She's in room 305." Said Carlisle. "All the rooms are private up here." He added.

"What's she on?" asked dad routinely.

"She's had a transfusion, but we're still giving her platelets to let the blood clot. We'll start a saline drip and a broad spectrum antibiotic when the platelets are done." He said softly.

"Is she sick?" asked dad worriedly at the mention of antibiotic.

"I don't want to make her sick." Said Carlisle sadly. "This place might be a place of healing, but before that, there's a lot of sickness. The doctors are especially exposed, and I don't want her sicker than she already is. They won't hurt her." He said gently.

Dad nodded sadly.

"What about her pain meds?" he asked.

"We'll start a morphine drip as soon as the nurses are free in the morning, and I might hang a banana bag, if she doesn't want to eat." He said smoothly.

I sighed and my stomach fluttered in fear as he glanced towards room 305.

"She's still unconscious." He said gently. "Did she hit her head?"

"She saw her own blood." Said dad sadly. "She doesn't really do too well with it."

"She saw her blood test." Protested Carlisle. "And surely she's seen her transfusion bags?"

"She didn't touch it, though." Said dad softly.

"Bella's sort of weird like that." Offered Emmett sadly. "She can look, but she can't touch."

Carlisle smiled understandingly.

"She should be awake soon, but I'll warn you- she'll be the same, if not worse- than she was at home. Edward's been keeping me posted." He said as dad shot him a confused glance.

"Thanks Carlisle." Said dad tiredly.

"If you need anything, ring the call bell and the nurse should be right in. I'll try to pop in at the end of my shift." He said sadly.

"Can you tell Edward she's here?" asked dad gently.

"I'll make sure he knows." Said Carlisle softly. "He's a light sleeper though, so he might have seen the ambulance…"

"Tell him anyways." Said dad firmly. "I may not like him, but he deserves to know."

Carlisle laughed softly at dad's opinions before he glanced at his watch.

"I've got to go… there's a waiting room full of sniffling kids downstairs." He said with a heavy sigh.

"Thank you." Sad dad sadly as we watched him leave, and we moved towards room 305.

Upon first glance, the room seemed normal. It looked like a standard hospital room- with the white walls and nonspecific curtains… pretty much the same as everything else.

It was when you took a deeper look, that you realized how different the room really was.

The door had a small window on it so the nurses had 24 hour surveillance. One of the cupboards, which were usually kept bare for personal items, contained a crash cart for medical emergencies, and there were only two chairs.

Carlisle had been kind enough to request a third when he came up, but standard rules said that only two visitors were allowed in at once.

Bella was lying in the reclining bed, her hand bandaged with an IV line flowing through it. She had a nasal oxygen tube, with the small pegs blowing gently into her nose. Beside her bed was a large screen displaying her vital signs- blood pressure, respiration rate, pulse rate, temperature and heart rhythm, and a steady beeping filled the air, letting us know that her heart was beating.

I sat down heavily in one of the chairs and folded my legs under me, resting against the back wall as I glanced over at Bella sadly.

The white blankets made her even paler than normal, and with the IV fluids and platelets, as well as the electrodes and her new hospital gown, I felt a shiver pass down my spine.

With a yawn, I leaned against my brother's shoulder and closed my eyes, knowing full well that sleep wouldn't come until Bella opened her eyes.


	28. Chapter 28

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 28**

EPOV

_This was a fucking weird dream._

I was sitting on a bench in a field, completely alone and in complete silence. There were all sorts of trees around me- pine, palm, birch… you name it, it was there. The wind was cold, though, and the sky was cloudy, reminding me entirely of Forks, but with a hint of mystery an maybe…_romance?_

Then, without warning, a loud, keeling sound filled my ears, and I glanced around for the source.

It was coming from across the field…

I woke with a start, sitting up in my bed tiredly.

The wail was still sounding, and I immediately frowned, glancing at my clock.

2:40 in the morning.

What the hell?

It sounded like… _sirens._

Oh fuck, no.

I leapt out of bed like a bullet and flew to my massive window, tossing the shear curtains aside. Bella's house was very visible in the darkness- lit up like a Christmas tree- with the kitchen light illuminated and a set of blue and red lights flashing outside.

It was an ambulance.

As I watched in complete horror as a gurney was brought out of the house- the patient unrecognizable- but unless Alice or Emmett had decided to become adrenaline junkies looking for a fix at two am on a school night, that was Bella on the gurney…

What had happened? She'd been doing pretty well today-- I'd sat with her for hours, and she hadn't complained at all…

What had I missed?

The blue and red lights sped off down the road and a few moments later, there was another set of lights from Chief Swan's unused police cruiser that sped off in the same direction.

As quickly as it had come, the lights and bustle was gone again and everything was quiet and still.

I froze before a jolt of adrenaline shot through me, and flew to my door.

"Jasper!"

My house was filled with my anxious voice as I flew down the hall to my brother's bedroom, ignoring the closed door and flinging it open. He stirred tiredly under his covers and when I flicked the light on, he grunted.

"What the hell, man?" he asked angrily.

"Call Alice." I ordered hoarsely.

"Alice is sleeping." He said pointedly.

"Fuck, Jasper, call her!"

He sat up and ran a hand through his hair before he glanced at the clock and sighed.

"Why?"

"There was a fucking ambulance over there two seconds ago!" I shouted.

"Edward?" asked a soft, tired voice as footsteps came up the stairs leading to the third floor. "What's wrong?"

Jasper wordlessly got out of bed and walked heavily over to his desk, snatching his cell phone and flipping it open. Mom appeared in the doorway, her hair all mussed up and her eyes tired.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, glancing between us.

"There was an ambulance at Ali's a few minutes ago." Said Jasper sadly, dialling Alice's number quickly.

"Oh no." said mom sadly, glancing out the window with sad eyes. "Edward, I'm sure they'll let us know…"

"I _need _to know." I said agitatedly, making her sigh.

"Sweetheart--" she started in a soft voice, right before Jasper snapped his phone shut with a sigh.

"She's not answering." He said honestly. "Are you sure it wasn't Charlie's car?"

"It was a fucking ambulance, Jasper." I said angrily. "They took someone…"

"We should all go back to bed and wait for a call." Said mom authoritatively.

I stared at her incredulously.

"We should go to the hospital, and find out where the hell they took Bella!" I said indignantly.

"Edward, it's not our place to interfere." Said mom sadly. "Your father will be home later and he'll let us know what's going on."

"Mom…"

"No, Edward." She said sternly, making me sigh as I turned around angrily and shoved my way out of the bedroom, storming down the steps.

"Don't leave the house." Said mom sternly as I stomped loudly.

"What's going on?" asked Rosalie angrily, poking her head out of her room.

She looked fucking pissed, but I couldn't have cared less.

"Edward?" she asked worriedly.

I left the second floor and made my way down to the first, where I stormed over to the front door. There was a small bench there for when people needed to sit to tie their shoes or whatever, and I sat my ass down on that little girly cushion and rested against the wall.

Mom hadn't said anything about me creeping at the front door.

ooOoo

From my place at the front door, I listened to the activities of my house. I listened as mom filled in a worried Rosalie, I heard Jasper trying to get a hold of Alice, I'd heard mom getting herself dressed at around four, after having many failed attempts at sleep, and I'd heard her starting breakfast at six.

Rosalie tried to call Emmett a few times as well, but Jasper was going crazy with worry as Alice refused to pick up.

"She probably didn't think to grab it." Said mom as he voiced his fears.

What sort of state would Alice be in right now? Was she too upset to talk?

Where was she?

It all seemed trivial as I sat against the wall, my eyes glued to the pairs of shoes by the door. There were my old sneakers, Jasper's new ones, Rosalie's flats, mom's gardening shoes and dad's spare work shoes.

When seven o' clock rolled around, I was counting the minutes.

My poor father wouldn't even know what hit him when I got on his case…

"Edward, there's bacon and eggs, if you're hungry." Said mom gently, making me frown.

"No thanks." I said quietly.

She simply nodded and left me to my business, speaking softly to Rosalie and Jasper. Apparently, according to her, none of us were required to go to school today, but of course, we were _allowed _to.

Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Emmett were graduating later this week, so it wasn't like they had anything pressing at school. Their gowns were fitted, their hats picked up, Rosalie and Alice had their dresses and Emmett and Jazz had been fitted for tuxedos. Even I'd been forced to pick up a dress shirt and tie for the occasion, and I was almost positive that Bella had purchased an outfit as well…

We had planned on attending together.

I perked up when I heard dad's car approaching through the early morning fog, and when I heard his car door closing, I felt my heart hammering in my chest.

_Calm down, it's just dad…_

But it _wasn't _just dad. He had the verdict.

His steps seemed agonizingly slow as he moved closer to the front door, and I heard his key slide into the lock as slowly as he could.

The impatience got to me, and I instantly wrenched the lock and door open, hearing the keys clatter to the paved walkway as I opened it with darkened eyes, seeing his sad face.

"Good morning." He said quietly.

"Where is she?" I asked worriedly. With a sigh, he picked up his keys and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He took off his shoes and untucked his dress shirt before he ran a hand through his messy hair and glanced at me nervously.

"Come to the kitchen." He said gently. "I'll tell everyone at the same time."

"Dad, please." I said sadly, following him.

I just realized then that I had no fucking shirt on, and was in nothing but boxer shorts.

"Come on." He said again, walking beside me as he led me into the kitchen, where we found my tired mother dishing food for the twins.

Rosalie looked prim, as usual, and to anyone on the outside she might have looked cruelly indifferent, but I'd known her long enough to recognize the small frown on her brow and the way her lips pointed downward instead of straight.

She was upset.

Jasper sat back against his chair with his phone in his hand, spinning it idly on the table as he waited for it to ring.

"Good morning."

Rosalie and mom glanced up quickly as dad led me towards a chair and sat me down carefully. Mom handed me a glass of juice and I reached for a piece of toast, taking a bite quickly.

I didn't want her on my case all day because I wasn't hungry.

"When did you all wake up?" he asked warily.

"Two thirty." I said quickly. "I heard the sirens."

He nodded sadly and heaved a great sigh.

"Bella's been admitted." He said softly.

I felt my heart sink through the floor at the confirmation, and let my toast fall back to the napkin, suddenly not the slightest bit hungry.

"What happened?" asked mom quietly, sounding aghast.

"She was bleeding." He admitted softly.

"Bleeding where?" I demanded.

"It's not uncommon at this stage," said dad quickly, "but that doesn't make it any more desirable."

"What happened?" I asked sternly, making his eyes flicker over quickly.

"She was bleeding from her nose at first, and then she started to cough it up." he said gently.

I felt my heart clench for her in an instant, remembering how she'd told me how she hated blood…

"We gave her a complete blood transfusion and some platelets. An hour ago they took her off of those and gave her a banana bag and a morphine drip." He said gently.

"A banana bag?" I asked in confusion.

"It's a nutritional supplement. She's had them before during her chemotherapy." He said gently.

"I want to see her." I said firmly, standing.

"Visiting hours start at nine." He said softly. "They won't let you in before then."

"Where are Alice, Emmett and Charlie?" I challenged.

"They're close family," he said firmly, "and under the circumstances…"

He didn't finish the sentence, and for that, I was thankful.

"Nine." I said angrily, glancing at the clock.

7:12.

_For the love of God._

"Is she alright?" I asked hopefully.

Dad hesitated.

"For now."

ooOoo

It seemed like days had passed between that 7:12 and the 9:00 I was waiting for. I'd gotten my ass in the shower and made myself decent and presentable before mom forced me to eat another piece of toast and dad offered to drive me over.

He wouldn't want me to get pulled over for speeding, which I undoubtedly would if I drove myself.

At 8:55, dad, Jasper, Rosalie and I piled into dad's black Mercedes and he drove us down the road towards the hospital where he worked. He drove skilfully and mechanically- taking almost no effort to steer and control, and I'd never been happier about dad's reserved parking space than I was right then.

He had a space right near the doors, and as soon as the car had stopped moving, I had my belt undone and I was out of the car. The other three followed me quietly, looking much less agitated than I was and when I passed through the sliding doors, I pumped a dollop of hand sanitizer into my hand, rubbing them quickly.

"Third floor, room 305." Said dad gently as he passed me, disinfecting his own hands as he led me to the elevator.

"No cell phones in here, especially since we're going up to the ICU." Dad said quickly as we entered the elevator alone, pressing the "3" on the wall. Jasper turned it off and tucked it away in his pocket, making sure it was deep enough that it wouldn't fall out.

The elevator stopped slowly and the doors opened, letting me exit quickly and look towards dad for instruction. He led us to a set of double doors with a keypad on the side, punching in a code before the doors opened, and he led us onto the ward.

It was nasty and white, and I hated it already.

It smelled like hospital.

"Hello." Said dad politely to the nurse behind the desk, who was filing paperwork.

"Back again?" she asked with a small, sad smile, glancing down towards her patients' rooms.

"Can we go in?" asked dad softly.

"Her family's still in there… I think they'd appreciate a break." She said softly.

"Where?" I asked harshly. Dad shot me a warning glance, telling me silently to behave myself, and I fell silent.

"Come on." Said dad quietly, leading the three of us down the hallway, stopping in front of a windowed door.

"Charlie?" he asked gently, poking his head in.

"Hello Carlisle." Said Chief Swan quietly, sounding tired and worn out.

"Edward wanted to visit." He said with a sigh, making me poke my head in nervously.

She was there all right- pale and small in her bed with a needle in her hand, a pole by her side, and what I recognized as a nasal cannula in her nose. She was sleeping, by the looks of things, and I wanted nothing more than to wake her up and hear her speak.

She should be laughing and lively, not tearstained and sickly.

"Jasper?"

Alice's voice sounded small and thready, and before I could so much as step inside, the sad, tired little pixie flew out and hit Jasper hard, wrapping her arms around his neck with a heavy breath.

"I tried to call." Said Jasper gently. "You didn't answer…"

"I left my phone at home." She said in a muffled voice, speaking into his shoulder. Rosalie stayed outside as Emmett stepped out as well, looking at her with his unusually tired eyes.

"Hey Rose." He said with a sigh.

"Hi." She said softly, clearing her throat awkwardly before he invited her down to the cafeteria for breakfast, since he was always hungry.

"You can go in, if you want to." Said Charlie grudgingly, glancing over at his daughter.

I didn't need to be told twice.

Without hesitation, I slid into the room and fell into the chair that was closest to her bed, sighing.

She didn't stir, but the steady beeping and constant rise and fall of her chest told me that she was alive and breathing.

She was just sleeping… for now.

"Edward, we'll be down in the cafeteria." Said my dad gently. "Just ask the nurse if you need anything, and she can page us if anything happens."

"What's going to happen?" I asked nervously, glancing over.

"Nothing should." Said dad quickly.

"Okay."

With a small sympathetic smile, dad ducked out of the room and left me alone with Bella, who remained still and pale in her bed.

I waited in silence as she slept on, the only movement coming when her hand twitched on her blanket. I examined everything around her- her needle, her blanket, the pattern on her gown--

"Edward?"

The voice was a small, tired croak but very recognizable just the same.

"Hey." I said quickly, leaning in closer to her. She blinked her eyes quickly before she glanced at the clock with a sigh.

"Good morning." She said playfully.

I smiled to myself, glad that she was up to our usual conversation.

"Morning." I replied softly. She watched me carefully for a long moment before she frowned indignantly.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" she asked disapprovingly.

"Yes." I said quickly. "I get the day off to visit."

She scowled.

"You shouldn't." she said sadly. "You need your grades to graduate."

"I'll get them." I assured her. "I'm considered quite intelligent, believe it or not…"

"Arrogant." She said with a smile.

"Always." I whispered with a smirk, sighing again as I reached down to touch her hand.

It was warm and soft- just like I'd imagined it would be- and for the first time since I'd met her, I found the courage to take her small hand in my own.

I'd shaken it before, but never _held _it.

I could feel the strange connection we had amplify itself as she squeezed back softly, looking wistful.

"Have you finished it yet?" she asked suddenly, holding my hand tightly as she smiled triumphantly.

"Finished what?" I asked confusedly.

"Your Shakespearean rival." She said matter-of-factly. "You owe me one, you know…"

"Working on it." I said defensively.

I _would _work on it… I'd beat that stupid fairy's shit any day.

"Good luck." She said with a snicker before she coughed, gently covering her mouth with her needled hand.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." I said quickly, glancing up at the yellow banana bag dad had explained.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to a bag of clear fluid. She grinned.

"Morphine." She said with a laugh. "It's pretty awesome…"

I laughed.

"Doped up?" I guessed.

"Not at the moment." She admitted. "But I was a few hours ago, when they first started it up. I can control it." She pointed to a little red button on the IV.

"What happens if you keep pressing it?" I asked curiously. She shrugged.

"You OD and die?" she offered indifferently.

I stared.

"It's probably password protected." She said realistically. "It's not like they let their patients kill themselves… it's a liability."

"Probably." I agreed gently, before we both fell silent.

Her hand never let go of my own for a full ten minutes, and I was secretly glad to have earned her trust. Only when her dad returned did she let go, but not after making sure he saw where the hand was with a grunt of disapproval.

"Edward?"

Dad watched me sadly as I let go of her little white hand regretfully and glanced over.

"We'll come back later and give Charlie some time." He said softly.

With a sad sigh, I glanced at Bella with a frown, shrugging.

"See you later?" I asked hopefully. She grinned.

"I'll call." She promised, pointing to the phone. "And bring a deck of cards or something tomorrow."

I laughed softly, earning me a small grin from my father as I stepped out of the room and let dad close the door.

"You did well." He said gently. "She needs that."

"_I _need that." I amended quietly, making him glance over quickly.

"I'll take you home with me, and after I wake up later I'll drive you back over." He promised.

"Thanks."

Mom was waiting for us at home with the four other kids all sitting around our living room. Alice was asleep on Jasper's lap and Emmett and Rosalie had broken out the PS2, playing some sort of racing game together.

I noticed, though, that Emmett looked much less enthused than he usually was about racing videogames. He'd usually be hollering profanities to the high heavens by now since Rose was kicking his ass, but he never once uttered a word, simply frowning and cursing under his breath as Rosalie left him in the dust.

"I'll see you this afternoon." Said dad gently to mom, who kissed his tired cheek and sent him quickly off to bed.

I had something else in mind.

"Mom?"

"Hm?" she asked distractedly, looking at me with her wide, loving eyes.

"Do we have any notebooks?" I asked awkwardly.

"For what?" she asked curiously, turning towards dad's small office space. She opened one of her art boxes she'd brought in and rifled through it quickly, smiling sadly.

"I have something to do." I said honestly, sighing as she handed me a nice leather-bound notebook, filled with lined paper.

"This one?" I asked, shocked.

I'd have been satisfied with a little dollar store spiral book…

"I'll get another." She said softly, looking at me interestedly.

I think she knew who it was for.

Without another word, she handed me a pen and pencil, smiling softly. With my supplies in hand, I moved up the stairs towards my bedroom before I laid the notebook down on the bed and opened it up to the first page, writing down the first anecdote that came to mind.


	29. Chapter 29

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 29**

ChPOV

Tonight had been a difficult night for all of us- especially the twins.

Tonight, my two eldest had graduated high school together- both of them receiving their diplomas as they walked across the small stage at Forks High with the thirty other graduates in their class.

It was bittersweet.

Alice had dressed herself up in a gown from Port Angeles and my son had been forced into a suit for the occasion, despite his constant complaints that it was a 'monkey suit'. Esme and Carlisle had been there for their two oldest as well, and the only one missing was Bella.

Even Renee had shown up bearing good wishes and smiles for her kids.

I'd tried to figure out a way for Bella to come, but it wasn't at all possible. Edward had tried to coax her into letting him stay, but after receiving some colourful words from my impassioned daughter, he promised he'd go and watch the four of them graduate on her behalf, and he'd promised to give them her gifts. Renee had been with her most of the day today, since I'd been busy with Alice and Emmett's affairs, but even then, she'd promised Emmett she'd be there.

The presents Bella had bought weren't much, but she'd gotten Alice and Rosalie matching silver bracelets and Jasper and Emmett had received a sort of memory scrapbook that they could fill with their fondest high school memories. Edward had dutifully handed each gift to the proper recipient along with the small cards that went along with them, and though they were small things, they were thoughtful and full of meaning.

Not having Bella there to share the moment was especially hard on Alice, but she'd managed to smile and laugh with the rest of them before the four of them had gone off to the graduation dance held at the local community centre.

It was their time to celebrate their success and mourn the end of their childhood together, and I was glad they could manage to have fun. After Alice and Emmett went off together with the Hale kids and Carlisle and Esme had taken Edward home with them, I went to the only place I could go- to Bella's hospital room.

It was late, but that wouldn't stop me from peeking in to make sure she was alright.

I was still dressed in my suit when I appeared in the doorway of the ICU, greeting the nurse, Joanne, with a small, tired smile.

"Did anyone stumble?" she asked playfully, looking up from her crossword puzzle.

"Not this time." I said with a small chuckle. She nodded with a smile, her eyes flicking over to Bella's bedroom.

"I think she waited up for you." She said sadly. "She wanted to know how things went." I sighed and nodded my thanks to the nurse, moving quickly down the hallway.

It was only nine o' clock, but Bella was usually sleeping by early evening, nowadays.

Nine was very late for her, and when I peeked inside, sure enough, she had her bed in the upright position and she was reading her book, looking more tired than ever.

"Bella." I said sternly, startling her as she dropped her book on the blanket.

"How was it?" she asked eagerly, making me sigh as I pulled the chair towards her bed.

"Good." I admitted. "They got their diplomas, and they all say thanks for the gifts." I said honestly.

I think Jasper had been a little shocked to find out that Bella had gotten him a gift.

"They went to the dance?" she guessed quietly, glancing out the window sadly.

She wasn't used to not seeing them before she fell asleep anymore, since they were always here, when they weren't at school.

It was summer break now, though, so they'd all be off of school for a few months before Alice and Jasper went off to college and Rosalie and Emmett stayed behind for a year off first.

Alice had saved her pennies over the years and I'd helped them both as much as I could, but Emmett didn't want to have to ask for money before he left, and he was going to save up all on his own. Rosalie, I knew, was just waiting with him, knowing that the mechanical engineering course she had her heart set on would be there next year too.

Emmett also needed some time to figure out what it was he wanted to do before he went off and got his degree.

"Yeah, they're gone to the community centre." I said softly. "Alice told me to tell you that she'd stop by first thing in the morning with Rosalie so she could paint your fingernails." I said quickly.

"Of course she did." Said Bella sarcastically. "Why _ever_ would we get through a day without her painting my nails, _again?"_

Poor Bella had never been one for beautification, and Alice had been in here every day for the past week with nail polish remover and a brand new colour of paint, ready to repaint and decorate her little sister's fingernails.

Bella hated it, but she endured it for Alice's sake.

I simply chuckled at the frown on her face before she glanced down at the vivid purple paint Alice had favoured yesterday.

"At least she leaves my hair alone." She said with a small shrug.

I grinned and sighed, glancing at the clock.

"Are you tired?" I asked softly, making her shake her head.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

She yawned, blushing slightly before she cleared her throat.

I'd have to get that looked at- she was always clearing her throat and coughing…

"Yes."

"Go to sleep." I said sternly, resisting the urge to laugh at her childlike desire to stay up.

"I don't want to." She said honestly, coughing again.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

"That's what you said to Emmett too…" I said, remembering how Emmett had come to me in a panic, telling she'd been coughing the night before she was taken in.

"And I _was _fine." She said with a shrug. "It was after that I wasn't fine."

"Tell me if you feel sick." I said sternly.

"I know."

Her eyelids drooped, and I immediately felt a sense of satisfaction… I would win this argument.

"Goodnight, Bell." I said gently.

"G'night, dad…" she said sleepily before she fell asleep, making me smile as I laid her bed back down with the button. I made sure she was covered and that her needled hand was on top of the blankets before I sat down with a sigh.

"Hello Charlie." Said Joanne, peeking in quietly to look at Bella. "Just doing my rounds." She said as she bustled inside and picked up her chart from the end of the bed, writing down all the required numbers on the paper.

She frowned.

"What?" I asked nervously. She ignored my question and moved over to Bella's sleeping face, examining the oxygen tube on her face, feeling for leaks.

"Her O2 stats aren't as high as they should be." She said, pointing to a number on the monitor.

I stared fearfully.

"What does that mean?" I asked sternly.

"She could just be positioned awkwardly." She said, gently tilting Bella's head to see if the number changed.

It stayed the same, and I frowned.

"I'll call doctor Cullen." She said softly, sighing as she removed the tube from her face and replaced it with a mask from behind her.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"It's not dangerously low…" she said. "But in her condition, any change in her stats should be addressed."

I stared at Bella in fear for a long moment as Joanne picked up the phone in Bella's room and dialled the Cullens' phone number. She spoke quietly with him using medical jargon I had no hope of understanding and as Carlisle gave instructions, she wrote them down on her notepad.

"Thank you, doctor Cullen." She said gently, placing the receiver down quietly and glancing at Bella's IV.

"Doctor Cullen's coming in to take a look." She said softly as she checked the fluid levels in the bag of saline, writing it down.

I waited in anxious silence before Joanne gave me a reassuring smile, telling me that she'd be back later on when the rest of her patients had been looked at.

I sat in stiff, stony silence as the clock behind me ticked on, and Bella slept, completely oblivious to her declining O2 stats. The mask obscured her face and I knew it would embarrass her in the morning, but for me, it was simply a red flag-- it was a warning sign.

"Charlie?"

I turned quickly and sighed sadly, seeing Carlisle, still dressed in his suit as well, looking grave.

"What happened?" he asked gently, frowning as he moved to her monitor.

"Something about O2 stats." I mumbled sadly.

He frowned.

"Has she been sick?" he asked.

"No…"

"No nausea?"

"Not that she's complained of." I said worriedly. He nodded and glanced down at her briefly.

"Cough or sore throat?" he asked.

I stared.

"She's been clearing her throat and coughing… she calls it a tickle." I said softly.

"Does she do it a lot?"

"Enough, I guess…" I said warily. He sighed before he called out for Joanne.

"Swab her throat for strep." He said softly. "Rush it."

"Yes, sir." Said Joanne gently before she procured a cotton swab from the cupboard and removed the mask, gently opening Bella's mouth.

I had no idea how she slept through them poking and prodding her, but I supposed that after years of hospital visits, she was used to being examined while she was asleep.

"She's warm." Noted Carlisle softly, pointing out the 99.7 on the monitor.

"Not dangerously…" said Joanne defensively.

"No, but it could be the start." Said Carlisle softly.

I stared.

"She's sick?" I asked nervously.

"She could be." He corrected. "We'll in a little while."

I sighed worriedly and sat back down on my chair, letting the nurse swab her throat as Carlisle observed, letting her take it down to the lab for a workup.

"I'm sorry, Charlie." Said Carlisle gently.

"Sorry for what?" I demanded angrily. He glanced over with bright blue eyes before he looked down at Bella again.

"It's strep." He said sadly. "There's an outbreak of it on the pediatric floor under us."

"Strep throat?" I asked stupidly.

He simply nodded before he glanced over at me again.

"We can either wait for the results to come back positive in the morning, or I can try a broad spectrum right now." He offered. "It's your choice."

"Which is better?" I asked worriedly.

He hesitated.

"At this point, it doesn't really matter." He said gently.

I could have sworn he'd kicked me in the gut.

"Start them now." I said sadly, clinging to the vain hope that it wasn't serious… kids got strep all the time, right?

"I have to warn you." Said Carlisle sadly. "Antibiotics work in correspondence with the immune system-- it fortifies it to fight against the invasion."

"So?" I asked angrily.

"So her immune system's shot." He said sadly. "Usually we'd have put her in an isolation room with mask, glove, booties and gowns just to come in the room like she was when she had her bone marrow transplant, but it wasn't worth causing her undue stress."

"What are you saying?" I demanded angrily.

"I'm saying that the antibiotics are a long shot, Charlie." He said sadly. "I hate to say it…"

"Say what?" I asked darkly.

"I don't think the medication will do her much good." He said finally.

"Then find something that will!" I shouted, earning me a small groan from Bella as she shifted uncomfortably.

"With no immune system to back it up, any antiviral or antibiotic would be ineffective…"

"The morphine works." I said angrily.

"The morphine is a narcotic pain killer, not something to fight infection." He explained.

I grasped wildly at any straws I had left, but to my complete horror, I could think of none.

She was sick, and she wasn't getting better.

"Start the antibiotics, please." I said desperately, making him nod as he left the room quickly.

Bella remained asleep, her eyes closed and her face still…

How could she be infected with strep?

Joanne returned moments later with the antibiotics and Carlisle right behind her. He connected the bag himself instead of charging the nurse with the task, and he unhooked her saline drip for the time being, inserting the new medication.

"Is it possible that it might work?" I asked sadly, earning me a sigh.

"Anything's possible, Charlie, but it's not _probable."_ He said gently.

I sat resolutely in my chair, praying to god that the medication would take.

"She'll be asleep for a while." Said Carlisle with a small smile. "I hear she waited up for you?"

"Yeah, she asked about the ceremony." I said gruffly, kicking off my shoes. There was a mint green, leather recliner in the corner of the room where I spent my nights, and without a word, I moved over and sat down, watching Bella's soft, sleeping face in the dim overhead light.

"Bye, Charlie." Said Carlisle, not daring to wish me goodnight.

"Don't tell the kids yet." I said quickly, turning to face him. "Let them have fun tonight…"

He nodded understandingly.

"I'll keep it quiet." He promised with a small sigh before he and Joanne left me alone with my daughter, closing the door behind them.

Without a word to anyone, I forced back the incoming flood of emotion and closed my eyes, hoping that in the morning, the tests would prove the excellent doctor Cullen wrong.


	30. Chapter 30

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 30**

APOV

I was sitting in the hard, uncomfortable chair in room 305 of Forks Memorial's ICU, gently clasping the hand of the small, white little thing in the bed. My graduation had come and gone as quickly as I'd anticipated, and a week later, I was here, holding my sister's hand as she tried to find a moment's rest in her chaotic, stressful life.

She coughed, and the sound hurt my ears.

A week ago today, I'd graduated high school with the rest of my class, and Jasper and I had gone to the after party before Emmett and I had been invited to spend the night with the Cullens.

I slept in Rose's room, though, and Emmett slept upstairs with Jasper.

The morning after had been a quiet affair, and only when dad called and told us the news- that Bella had contracted a strep infection- did things start looking down.

We knew from past experience how dangerous it was for Bella to get sick, and a strep infection was a serious one… it could spread easily when she had no immune system.

And so it was.

Emmett had just left to go to the cafeteria and dad had gone home for a nap-- it had been all too long since dad had managed to get any decent sleep, and his health and mood had been deteriorating. He became much snappier and he'd earned himself a headache and runny nose after staying up worrying about Bella.

He and Emmett had shared some choice words in the hallway, which resulted in Emmett driving dad home in tears so he could sleep.

Bella had understood completely, and I'd volunteered to sit beside her instead, even if she wasn't awake to see me.

No one wanted to be stuck in a hospital alone.

Jasper was coming to pick me up in half an hour for a lunch break, and I had to say that I was already reluctant to go with him. I loved Jasper, but Bella was my top priority right now, and I couldn't leave her alone…

"Alice?"

I turned around quickly and offered Edward a weak smile as he came inside, glancing at me sadly.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine."

"Jasper's coming over?" he guessed as he sat down in the recliner, folding his legs underneath him.

I nodded sadly and kissed Bella's hand as she coughed once more, her grip tightening unconsciously as she held on.

She looked so sick…

"How's she holding up?" asked Edward sadly.

"Not too well." I admitted quietly. I glanced over at the monitor, seeing the temperature, O2 stats and respirations lit up in red, telling me they weren't very well off.

Her temperature was 102 and fluctuating, but the doctors were past taking her blanket away.

She was covered for her own comfort, not to appease Carlisle and the nurses. We all knew it was her time to go, and if she wanted a blanket, she could damn well have one.

"What did my dad say?" asked Edward in a small, choked voice as he glanced over with moistened eyes.

"Why don't you ever ask him?" I asked curiously, making him smile sadly.

"He can't say anything. Doctor-patient confidentiality." He said with a shrug.

"We won't sue him." I said dryly.

"He says it's a bad habit to get into."

"Right." I said softly.

"What did he say?" he asked again.

"She's on a lot of morphine right now, and the antibiotics are gone." I whispered. "She doesn't have long."

"How long?" he asked sadly.

"It's not certain. It could be a week, it could be an hour…"

"An hour?!" he yelped, making me frown as he yelled.

"Quiet." I scolded sadly.

I knew crying wouldn't fix things, but I still wanted to do it.

Edward turned away from me and sighed shakily, glancing out the window.

Today was one of the rare, sunny days in Forks, and I knew that when Bella woke up, she'd be happy to see a glimpse of sun.

She liked Forks' sunny days, for all she loved the clouds.

"Did my mom stop in?" he asked shakily.

"Esme came earlier with Rosalie and Jasper." I said quietly. "She brought breakfast."

"How was Rose?" he asked concernedly.

Bella had grown on Rosalie and although she wasn't overly affectionate or even talkative, when Rose loved something, she loved it for life.

"She was alright." I admitted. "No tears."

Although I couldn't speak for Esme… poor Bella had cried too when she saw how broken up Esme was.

I wondered whether or not Renee cried when she came… I refused to see her, and she knew damn well that if it was my time to visit, she was to stay away. She came when dad was here, or sometimes on her own, but I knew for a fact that she was hiding away in her hotel room while I was here, having nowhere else to go.

"That's good." Said Edward gently, nodding.

I watched him curiously.

"Since when do you care about Rosalie?" I asked bluntly.

His head snapped up and I caught a tear falling down his cheek.

"Since always." He said defensively.

I stared.

"I've always loved Rose like a sister." He said simply. "I might have been an asshole to her, but I still loved her."

"She's worried about you." I admitted.

"Why?" he asked with a small, humourless laugh.

"Should she be?" I asked softly.

"No."

"Are you sure?" I asked warily, standing up from my place beside Bella. I laid her hand down gently and switched to the seat beside the recliner, watching Edward carefully.

"I'm fine." He insisted sadly, his voice cracking.

And I knew he _wasn't _fine.

"It's okay to cry, you know…" I offered softly. "It helps, sometimes."

"Fuck, Alice…" he said in a warning voice, obviously not prepared to cry in front of someone. "I know that, okay?"

"Sorry." I said quickly, sighing sadly as we fell silent, letting the beeps of the heart monitor fill the room. Two more tears escaped him and my own eyes brightened at the sight before I gently reached around and gave the strange, reclusive boy a gentle hug.

"It's okay to love her." I whispered softly, earning me a small moan as he returned the affection.

I sighed happily at my success… maybe Edward wasn't so bad after all.

Bella loved him, after all… there had to be something good about him.

"She's my best friend." He admitted pitifully. "I knew this was coming…"

"We all did, but it doesn't make it any easier." I said honestly.

He nodded his vehement agreement before he sniffed and pulled away, sitting back against the recliner with his arms folded over his chest as he watched her.

"She's special." He said softly, glancing over at me pointedly.

"I know."

"I'm almost done." He said quietly, confusing me.

"Done what?"

"Her book." He said vaguely. "I promised her months ago that I'd write something to show up that fucking fairy."

"Shakespeare?" I asked, smiling through the tears.

"Yeah. I'm almost done." He said again. "I only have one more page…"

"She'll like it." I said with a sigh.

"I don't know if she'll get to read it." He said sadly.

I frowned.

"She'll read it." I said confidently. "I know she will."

"She might not be able to." He said quietly.

"She'll read it." I repeated.

She would.

God might not have existed in my mind, but somehow, deep down, I believed that there was _something _coming for her-- it was absolutely impossible that she could simply cease to exist at all.

No, she was going somewhere, and although I didn't know where that somewhere was, I knew that wherever she was, she would definitely want to see what he'd made for her.

She _would_ read it.

"Do you believe in God?" I asked quietly, turning to face him. He stared at me for a long, hard moment before he sighed heavily and shrugged.

"All of dad's grandparents were pastors." He said. "Even _my_ grandfather joined the ministry for a while before he went on to medical school… but I don't know." He admitted.

"I don't." I said firmly.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

I remained silent and he nodded understandingly.

"It doesn't make sense…" he said sadly, glancing over at Bella again. "But who knows? I guess anything's possible."

I sniffed sadly as the door opened once more, and Jasper peeked his head in.

"Hey you two." He said gently, making me smile.

I would always smile for Jasper.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly, glancing sadly at Bella for a moment before I nodded and stood quickly.

"Will you stay with her?" I asked quietly, looking at Edward. He nodded quickly and swallowed hard, glancing over at his brother quickly.

"Bye." He said.

"We'll be back later on." I said. "Esme's making dinner for everyone, anyways." He nodded firmly and watched with bright eyes as I approached Bella's small, white little body and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, Bell."

EPOV

I felt like a fucking idiot as I stood up and took the seat nearest Bella's bed, yet that didn't deter me from sitting down and taking the small white hand in my own, glad that I had a moment alone.

"Hey." I said tearfully, feeling stupider than ever.

She couldn't even hear me, and I didn't want to wake her up…

"Tired?" I guessed in a whisper, double checking to make sure the door was closed.

The last thing I needed was someone to walk in without me noticing while I was talking to her sleeping form.

"This really sucks, Bella." I said in an honest, tearful whisper.

She breathed steadily, her eyes still shut and motionless.

"I knew the whole time that this was coming-- fuck, I knocked you down and felt like a complete asshat, and even then I knew this was a possibility… it always was."

She didn't answer and I rambled on, feeling less stupid as the weight was lifted off my chest.

"I'm still sorry for that, by the way." I added.

She gave a small sigh in her sleep, and I was encouraged.

"I'm sorry I was a douche, and I'm sorry I hurt you."

I took a deep, steadying breath.

"Life's too short to be a dick though, right?" I asked with a small laugh.

Silence.

"I'm really going to miss you."

A tear fell, hitting her blanket with a soft _plop _as I took her hand in my own, sighing heavily. I felt that strange connection rekindle itself again, even though she was asleep, and I savoured the feeling.

God knows I wouldn't be feeling it soon enough.

"Thank you for being my friend." I said firmly, letting out a shaky gush of air. "I needed one…"

She stirred lightly and I instantly fell silent, not daring to move or wake her.

She was exhausted.

"I'm almost finished it, Bell." I said eagerly, whispering into her ear. "I've got only a few more things to add and I'll bring it to you, even if you can't read it. I want you to see it."

"It's got all sorts of stuff in it…" I rambled. "I wrote about me, and you, and sometimes about Alice. I know you love her… and it _does _beat anything Mr. Fucking Twinkletoes Shakespeare could write." I added defiantly.

She didn't move, and I let out a chuckle.

"I heard he had syphilis." I added pointedly, grinning when she didn't argue the point.

God, I would miss this…

Gently, I reached my two first fingers down to her wrist, locating the beating pulse. I felt it gently with my fingers and smiled at the steady thumping just beneath the translucent flesh.

"I promise it'll be finished next time I see you." I said honestly, not taking my fingers from her pulse point. The rhythm under my fingers matched the steady beeping of the monitor.

"You know…" I started awkwardly, sighing as I tried to compose my thoughts.

"I've never really found out why you let me be your friend." I said honestly. "I was so…"

I trailed off suggestively, and squeezed her hand.

"It meant a lot." I whispered softly.

Silence ensued for another moment as I listened to the steady beeping of the monitor before I leaned in and rested my head next to hers on the pillow.

She smelled the same as she always did, and I breathed deeply.

"You're special." I decided gently.

She didn't move.

"Alice told me it's okay to love you…" I said sadly, "and I've decided that she's right. She's usually right…" I added.

"I couldn't help but love you."

Her heart monitor filled the dull silence that ensued before the door cracked open, and I immediately jumped back, wiping the fallen tears from my face.

"Are you alright?" asked dad gently, glancing at her monitor.

"I'm fine." I said gruffly.

"You're crying." He pointed out.

"Yeah, well…" I said angrily, glancing down at Bella again.

"It's okay." Said dad quickly. "Tears are an outlet."

I stared before he sighed and took another step inside.

"She loved you, Edward." Said dad softly.

"Don't." I said angrily.

"Don't what?" he asked. "Tell the truth?"

"Speak in the past tense." I said sadly, feeling more tears spring up. He sighed and clapped his hand on my shoulder.

"You should go get something to eat." He said. "Mom's cooking dinner, maybe she could use some help?"

"I promised Alice I'd stay." I said gently.

"Charlie just called and he's on his way back. I think he wants some time alone." Said dad softly.

Charlie had priority over me, that much was certain.

"I'll go in a second." I said sadly, hoping he'd give me my final moment alone before I was kicked out by the chief.

"I'll wait for you downstairs by the doors." He said gently. "I'll drive you home."

"Thanks dad."

With a small, encouraging smile, he ducked out gracefully and closed the door behind him with a soft click, leaving me alone with Bella and the beeping monitor once more.

"I've got to go." I said, feeling stupid for saying it out loud.

Hadn't dad just said that right in front of her?

"I'll try to come back later on tonight though." I promised quickly. "I'll bring the notebook."

She didn't reply, and I hesitated, leaning in closer. Her unique smell- strawberries and something floral- washed over me like a perfume, and I was instantly enraptured by it.

I hesitated for another moment before I bent closer and ever so gently, pressed a small kiss to her pale cheek.

"Bye Bella."

And with that, I drew myself up from my chair and moved to the door, closing the door with a quiet _snap _behind me.


	31. Chapter 31

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 31**

EPOV

Dad drove me home in silence, trying to politely pretend I wasn't having a mini-meltdown in the passenger's seat of his car. We'd met Charlie Swan on the way up, looking tired and worried, but much more rested than he had before. He'd passed us with a kind smile before he rode the elevator to the third floor ICU room where his daughter lay sleeping.

Dad drove me down the main road and down into our driveway at a decent pace, and before long, he had stopped the car in front of the door and was waiting for me to compose myself.

"Will you be okay?" he asked me softly, looking saddened and worried at the same time.

I simply nodded, my lips still tingling from when they'd touched her cheek. I got out of the car as quickly as I could, knowing dad was on his break, and walked to the front door with a heavy heart, opening it quietly.

Dad had obviously told mom I was coming home in quite the state, since as soon as I walked in, she appeared in the entranceway, her face sad and downcast.

"Oh sweetheart…" she crooned softly, wrapping me up in the biggest hug she could manage.

I loved my mother.

"I'm okay." I said bravely, trying to let her go, only to realize that under no circumstances was she about to let me go cry alone in my bedroom.

"Emmett and Rosalie are in the sitting room, if you want to sit with them." She offered gently.

I hesitated, but before I could decide, she was ushering me towards the sitting room, where I could hear the distinctive sounds of the racing game on the television.

"Fuck, Rose!" cried Emmett angrily as the pink car zoomed past him expertly.

"Language, dear." Said mom sternly as she kept her hand on my back, pushing me forward.

"Sit down." She said kindly, gently placing me in an armchair against the far wall. Emmett apologized quietly for swearing before he glanced nervously at me- only one thing on his mind.

Was Bella alright?

Rosalie paused the game as mom left me alone with the two of them, ready to start in on an early dinner.

"What happened?" asked Emmett worriedly. "Is she okay?"

"She's asleep." I said honestly.

He waited for elaboration, knowing I wasn't crying for no reason.

"I'm being a fucking baby." I said indifferently. "Play."

He watched me sadly.

"You're not a baby." Said Rosalie gently. "You're upset."

I kept quiet, shrugging as I draped my legs over the arm of the chair, watching the game as Rose restarted it.

The pink car won the race with ease and before the next one started, more tears had fallen down my cheeks no matter how hard I tried to stop them.

"Are you alright?" asked Rosalie worriedly.

"I'm okay." I said with a shrug.

Just then, I remembered my book.

"I'll be back later." I said quickly, standing up swiftly and leaving my sister and her boyfriend in the sitting room, looking saddened.

I darted up the stairs as fast as my legs would carry me and flung my door open, looking around for the black leather notebook.

I found it easily, sitting on my desk with the pen and pencil mom had given me sitting on top. I grabbed the pencil and the notebook, flipping past the stories, memories, anecdotes and even musical compositions, and found the last empty page.

I wasn't an artist, but this book contained everything- from fact to fiction, poetry to prose, a stick man playing with a chicken and a few of my original scores for different piano melodies.

It was my thoughts- unedited and uncensored- written down on paper.

I took the pencil in my hand on that final page, and let my hand roam freely across the lined page.

I'd nearly failed my freshman art class because I was such a fucking incompetent with a pencil, but slowly, something began to take shape on the page.

I had no idea what it was, either.

It started as nothing- a random splotch of graphite on the paper that took the shape of some sort of anthropomorphic blob. The blob was centred on the page and without thinking, I began to shade it in as if the sun was shining down on it.

Then I added a shadow.

The blob had a 3-D effect going on around it as I shaded and coloured to my heart's content. I felt strangely rushed as I sketched and shadowed as best I knew how, trying my best to capture _some _sort of _something_.

It had to be something… right?

When the blob was coloured, it looked like just that- a blob.

Only when I added two long lines branching out the bottom did I get a spur of inspiration, and I began to draw.

The lines were transformed into something special, the blob's shading was altered and tweaked, and I added in a completely different scene behind my creation, adding more and more detail.

The thing I'd drawn was a _definitive_ thing- it was a tree.

The blob became the flourishing leaves, the two lines became the trunk, and without even thinking, I drew a multitude of branching roots from the bottom that ran deep into the ground.

The leaves flourished and the roots lengthened as my pencil travelled across the page, and before long, I had a decent-looking drawing of my tree.

_Her _tree…

Just as I put my pencil down from my paper, I heard the door open and close downstairs, and I stood up quickly and tucked the newly completed notebook under my arm.

"Mom?" called Jasper softly as I made my way downstairs. Alice looked bright eyed and red-nosed, telling me she'd been crying again, and when mom appeared in response to Jasper's call, she immediately treated her the same way she had me- she led her into the house, sat her down, and offered her a cup of coffee to calm her nerves.

Emmett seemed particularly bothered by Alice's emotions, but he remained quiet and stoic, saying nothing. Alice thanked mom for the beverage and sat down next to Jasper, cuddling up next to him with a small sigh and a sniffle.

I didn't want to start crying again, so, without hesitating, I dragged myself and my notebook into the kitchen where mom was reading through recipes.

"Hi." I said hoarsely, clearing my throat quickly.

"Hello, dear." She said softly, smiling up at me from her place. She glanced at the book for a moment before her smile widened, and she offered me a seat.

"Did you write anything yet?" she asked softly as she pulled out her famous meatloaf recipe, deciding it was a good choice.

Warm and homey.

"Yeah." I admitted gently, earning me a small smile before she nodded proudly.

I hesitated for only a second before I reached out and offered her the book, letting her glance through it.

"You filled it?" she asked incredulously, looking at each page with reverence.

I nodded.

"Music too?" she asked gently, tracing the complicated web of music notes across the three pages.

I'd written that one the day before, and I'd been smart enough to keep my own copy.

It was nameless.

"Oh Edward, it's beautiful." She said softly with a tearful smile as she came across my tree, looking it over.

It would have definitely helped me up my art grade in freshman year…

"It's alright." I conceded, making her smile gently.

"It's perfect, Edward." She said. "She'll love it."

I swallowed thickly again before she smiled softly, kissing my cheek before she collected her ingredients for dinner.

I watched in idle curiosity, knowing better than to offer my assistance.

I was a hopeless cook, which was strange, considering that both my parents were very competent in the kitchen.

My mother could have gone to culinary school, if she'd wanted to.

I watched her flitting around the kitchen expertly, grabbing supplies and equipment as she went. It was effortless for her- to cook in her own home- and she knew just where everything was.

The kitchen was mom's domain.

I held my black leather notebook in my hands gently, stroking the cover with my hand as the sounds of the news channel floated in from the sitting room, and a light tinkle of laughter came from Alice.

It was good to hear her laughing again.

"Edward, do you think you could--" asked mom curiously, right before the phone rang, and she sighed.

"Hold on a moment." She said gently, reaching over and grabbing the phone off of its receiver.

"Hello?" she asked distractedly, grabbing a handful of cutlery from the drawer.

The voice on the other end spoke to her and with a little gasp, the cutlery clattered to the floor with a loud, startling noise.

I stared, just as Jasper appeared, peeking in worriedly.

"Mom?"

The voice on the other end of the phone spoke to her and she clapped a hand to her mouth before she nodded quickly, letting a tear fall.

_No. _

"Mom." I said sternly, making Jasper glance over worriedly. Mom stepped around her fallen cutlery, phone in hand as she let herself cry, and I felt a jolt of panic.

"Mom!" I shouted worriedly, gaining the attention of those still waiting in the sitting room. Mom paused outside the doorway before she glanced at me and swallowed thickly.

"Esme?" asked Alice nervously, making mom frown as she turned away.

"Alice, dear…" started mom shakily, right before she handed Alice the phone gently.

Alice blanched and took it with shaking hands.

"Hello?"

She waited and listened to whoever was on the other end, her face whitening before it crumpled and the phone fell to the floor with a loud clatter, and Alice let out a loud wail of distress.

I stared at that phone in complete shock and utter dread, glancing between my tearful mother, the hysterical Alice and the fallen phone.

I knew exactly who that was…

"Alice?" asked Emmett warily, glancing at his sister with his large, tearful eyes.

Rosalie watched her boyfriend with sad, regretful tears of her own, swallowing thickly as Jasper reached out to Alice, drawing her closer.

"Em…" said Alice sadly, making Emmett step forward as mom took the phone once more and gently let the caller go.

She hung up the phone and watched both Swan kids with sad, motherly eyes.

"It's over." Said Alice quietly as Emmett let out a shaky breath and snatched her away from Jasper, into a huge hug.

_It's over…_

I could have sworn that in that moment, my heart had imploded in on itself and left me high and dry as the reality washed over me.

She was gone.

Rosalie glanced at Emmett sadly before her tearful gaze shot over to me, and before she could speak, I shot towards the stairs, taking my black notebook with me.

She wouldn't read it.

"Edward!" shouted Rose worriedly as I receded into my bedroom, locking my door behind me.

I'd spoken to her a mere hour ago… I'd seen her breathing, felt her pulse…

She'd been so _alive_. Undeniably, irrevocably alive. She'd been thinking and breathing when I'd left her…

What had happened in that one short hour? How much difference could sixty minutes have made?

As quickly as she'd appeared in my life, she'd been taken back out again. She'd popped up so suddenly and without warning, and it took only five months for her to weave her way into my heart.

I felt my knees shaking as I sat down on my bed, letting myself lay down with her notebook at my head. My breaths came in short, panicked gasps before I pressed my face into one of the cushions and let the barrier break, and the floodgates to open.

Babyish or not, the tears came with an angry vengeance and as they soaked through my pillow, I heard the strange, uncomfortable sound of my own grief.

I'd loved her, and now, she was gone.


	32. Chapter 32

**Fade to Grey- Chapter 32**

EPOV

The days passed me by in a strange blur of sleep and wakefulness and I felt myself growing sadder and sadder as time went on.

She was gone.

Mom had never finished her meatloaf that night and once again, Alice and Emmett had stayed the night. Alice had been a sobbing mess the entire time and Emmett- the poor guy- had tried to keep himself together for her sake.

It didn't last long though, and eventually he broke down his own walls and cried himself out.

Mom ordered pizza for everyone and no one ate more than a slice. Rosalie tried to comfort where she could and Jasper spent every waking moment with Alice, trying to console her broken heart and help her get some rest.

I'd stayed up in my room with the door locked until dad had come home later that night in tears and jimmied my lock. There he'd found me, clutching that black notebook with all the strength and power I possessed, bawling like a baby into my sheets.

I'd asked him what had happened.

"She went in her sleep." He'd assured me. "After you left, Charlie sat with her until the time came and she just left us. It was short and peaceful." He'd whispered.

It didn't console me.

Charlie had come over for his kids later that night and mom offered to let him sleep in one of the spare rooms, which he eagerly accepted. I'd never seen Charlie looking so distraught as he did that night, but with mom's gentle guidance, he was put into the nicest spare room beside the lounge.

Renee Dwyer had gone to see her daughter's body after the fact and had been decidedly upset over it, but had informed Charlie and the kids that she and her new husband were moving to Berlin after the funeral.

Phil Dwyer was caught up with work, and would be unable to come down for the service.

I hated that man before I even knew him.

Dad had been tearful as well, but he always had kind words of wisdom during times of strife and grief. He always had something soothing to say, but in this case, nothing he said could soothe the ache.

I missed her already, and it hadn't even been a day.

I wanted to go back in time-- I wanted to laugh and joke with her again, I wanted her to come and have another awkward dinner with me and my family… I wanted her back.

I'd never wanted anything so badly in my entire life, and it angered and frustrated me that I'd never be able to have it.

Where had she gone?

I was scared for her-- Bella had never feared death, she was scared of what she'd miss. She'd been scared of the idea of missing her nieces and nephews, Alice and Emmett's wedding, their lives… she was scared that she'd miss my life too.

What life?

I hadn't realized it until that last day in the hospital, but I'd grown to love that girl-- I'd _liked _her well enough from the start, but she'd gently rooted herself in my heart- something I'd thought was impossible.

I didn't love outside my family, or so I'd thought.

What if she hadn't been sick? What if she'd been a healthy teenage girl… what then?

Would I have loved her still?

Rosalie and I were more alike than I cared to admit-- we were both hard to love and found it hard to admit to love, but once we did, we had a hard time letting go.

I _couldn't _let go… it felt like I was grabbing at a thread in the darkness that was threatening to snap. It was thin and fine-- a mere morsel of what was once something lively and beautiful.

But now, it was simply a thread.

The day after Bella had passed, Alice, Emmett and Charlie made the trek home, where they would have to deal with all sorts of memories and unpleasant things. I knew for a fact that they hadn't moved her bedding from the couch and I doubted they'd cleaned the blood from the floors and sink very well after her episode in the kitchen.

Traces of Bella were everywhere in our home as well… even if only in memories.

Mom had exactly one picture of her-- she was sitting beside me on the piano bench as I tried to teach her to play before we got frustrated and quit, letting her listen instead. In the photograph, her hair had grown long enough and she was sitting beside me- a small, pale little thing- while I was bent over the keys, my face drawn in concentration.

She looked completely enraptured, and every time I saw that picture for months afterwards, I felt a pang of sadness and guilt.

She was really gone…

Today, however, was a completely different matter-- today was Bella's funeral.

Her _funeral…_

Dad had dragged out my dress shirt and pants once more, lending me a pair of his clean, polished shoes. I'd been forced into the shower and my mom had taken a comb to my head before she dressed herself in a black top and skirt. Rosalie, looking sad, had simply pulled her usually styled hair back into a loose bun and had opted for a simple dress, while Jasper was dressed similarly to me.

Dad handed me a black dress jacket and I threw it on unceremoniously, feeling an intense dread.

I didn't want to go to her funeral… Bella wouldn't have wanted one in the first place.

But, out of respect for her family and her memory, I dragged myself along with my family, the leather notebook in hand.

I had no use for it.

Dad drove the car down to the church in silence, with mom in the front and Rosalie, Jasper and I crammed into the back. Jasper and I had the window seat and Rosalie sat stiffly in between us, trying to keep herself strong and stoic.

For Emmett' sake, of course.

The big guy I'd grown to know as a jokester had been broken up by his sister's death, and Rosalie's presence tended to make him a little happier.

It was Alice that worried me. Emmett would bounce back- he always did- and even if he was a changed person, he would learn to live.

Alice had been so attached to her little sister, that it seemed to me that she'd never let her go.

Jasper wasn't worried though-- he claimed that Alice was stronger than I gave her credit for.

The church loomed up in the distance, and a jolt of realization tore it way through me.

This would be the last time I ever saw her.

I swallowed thickly as dad parked in the parking lot, sighing heavily.

"Let's go." He said gently, opening his and mom's door. Rosalie slid out right after me and Jasper waited for no man before he took off towards the doors, seeking out Alice amongst the mourners.

I recognized a few people as we passed by- kids from school, the secretary, some teachers and the waitress from Charlie's favourite restaurant- The Lodge. The pastor- Mr. Weber- was here with his daughter, Angela- one of Alice's mutual friends. The police force had come out to pay their respects to the chief's daughter and even a few people from the La Push reserve had come down- Charlie's fishing friends, no doubt. Emmett's sports teams were here as well, though none of them knew Bella personally, and I felt a small flutter of satisfaction, seeing how many people had cared for her.

"Edward."

I turned quickly and saw Charlie Swan watching me with reddened eyes, sighing.

"How've you been?" he asked kindly.

"Fine…" I said, shrugging.

I didn't dare ask how _he_ was.

"That's good… Alice has been worrying about you."

"She shouldn't have been." I said honestly. "Is she okay?"

"Ali's holding up." said Charlie, looking pleased about my concern. "She's a strong girl."

He choked up and swallowed thickly.

"How long do you think the service will be?" I asked hesitantly.

I hated long _anythings._

Charlie laughed softly before he sighed.

"I asked him to keep it short and sweet. No point in making everyone cry for nothing…"

"Good." I said, relieved as he nodded.

With a small, defeated sniff, he offered me his hand, and to say I was shocked would be a severe understatement.

"I might not have liked you," he started, "but she sure as hell did."

I shook his hand awkwardly before he let it go, looking contemplative.

"You were good to her, Edward."

I felt a tear fall down my face before he cleared his throat awkwardly, noticing my notebook for the first time.

"What's that for?" he asked curiously. I glanced down at the leather bound book and fought the urge to cry again.

"I made her a promise." I whispered, making Charlie frown.

"You what?" he asked.

I smiled tearfully.

"We had a thing going on about Shakespeare." I said. "I called him a fairy, and she challenged me to write something to outdo him…"

"And you wrote it for her." He finished sadly, a tear sliding down his worn cheek.

All I could do was nod quickly, for fear of bursting into very embarrassing tears.

"She would have been happy." He admitted, patting my back softly. "What will you do with it now?" he ventured carefully.

"Give it to her." I said with a shrug. "I don't want it."

"She'd have liked that." He said softly.

I glanced warily across the room we were in and instantly found the casket at the back, the top open to reveal Bella's white little face.

"You don't mind?" I confirmed, hoping Charlie would her have it.

"Not at all." He said easily, glancing over towards the back with a shuddering sigh. "The service is in twenty minutes." He told me quietly.

I nodded as he walked off towards Alice and Emmett, who were seated together in the front pew with Jasper and Rosalie beside them. My parents were watching from their own pew near the front as the line of mourners approached the body to pay their last respects.

With my book in hand, I got in line and waited. Mom and dad, having already approached the casket, decided to proceed outside where the funeral was to take place. Bella was happiest outside with the rain and the trees and the clouds she'd always loved. Charlie followed my parents outside and before long, Jasper and Alice went along with them, followed by Emmett and Rosalie.

There were only two people ahead of me now, and I began to panic

My vision blurred with impending tears as the last couple, Sue from the diner and her husband, Harry, left for the graveside service, leaving me alone with the pastor waiting by the door.

I stepped up quietly, shuddering softly as I held my book.

What was I supposed to do?

She was so still… so pale. She had an almost bluish tinge to her as she sat, dressed in the clothes she loved- blue jeans and a crew cut t-shirt.

Nothing fancy.

Her hair had been laid around her face in the familiar soft curls, and I shivered as I caught sight of her hands, clasped over her torso gently.

Were all corpses posed like that?

I glanced at her for a moment longer before I noticed her old, battered copy of Wuthering Heights sitting next to her, tucked neatly by her side. A sticky note on the front read "Love, Ali" with a little red heart next to the name. I quickly reached over and pressed my hand to the black notebook gently, sliding it in next to Alice's novel.

There it sat, undisturbed and unmoving as the pastor spoke quietly, letting Charlie back in.

"Edward?" he asked softly, making me turn quickly as I dried my tears as best I could.

"I'm done." I said quickly as I stepped away from her, feeling that familiar connection we'd shared trying to keep me close.

It hurt to walk away.

"Do you want to help carry her?" he asked softly, speaking quietly to me.

I shook my head vehemently, feeling an added sting of tears.

"I can't--" I started, right before I choked up and Charlie nodded understandingly.

"It's okay." He said softly. "I just thought I'd ask. I'll have one the deputies do it."

As I left, Emmett, my father, Jasper and two deputies from Charlie's squad came forward as pallbearers.

I ran out of there as fast as I could, finding my mother, Rosalie and Alice standing together in a small group. Alice was sniffling and squeaking with my mother's left arm wrapped around her as tears dripped from her nose and chin, but she said nothing as mom wrapped her free arm around my shoulders.

I was taller than she was, but I could never get too big for my mother's hugs. Rosalie stood stoically as the casket- now closed- was carried out, Emmett and Jasper in the lead. Dad and Charlie took up the tail and the two deputies took the middle, and as easy as that, she was placed onto a lift and lowered into the ground.

She even had a tombstone already.

_Isabella Marie Swan  
September 13, 1992- July 9, 2009  
Beloved daughter, sister and friend.  
Always loving, Always loved._

"Isabella Swan was a beautiful young woman full of life and joy…"

The preacher's words were lost on me as he spoke, saying sweet and kind things about Bella and her battle. He spoke of her strength and courage, and whatever else he had to say, and even though I knew Bella would have been blushing beet red at his words- red enough to make me laugh- I found myself crying, just like everybody else in that cemetery.

The pastor prayed for her and for the rest of us before Alice procured a white rose, tossing it gently on top of the casket. Emmett did the same with tearful, saddened eyes before the group was dismissed for a small luncheon in the church's basement.

Why did people hold a luncheon after a funeral?

Charlie, Renee, Alice and Emmett remained behind with the pastor and the graveyard staff and although Rosalie, Jasper and my parents left them in privacy, I simply stood further back, sitting on the damp grass of one of the Newton family graves. I watched with overwhelming sadness as the employees began to cover the grave with the excavated dirt, resulting in a muddy mount over Bella's casket.

Her tombstone stood proudly- glinting grey marble in the dull, overcast sky- and as I read the words again, the sadness began to sink in. Not one of the Swans noticed me sitting on Cassandra Newton's grave, watching them bury their daughter and sister, and though Renee glanced over, looking at all the different graves, she looked right over me in her grief before she whispered to Charlie, hugged her son and said a soft goodbye to her unforgiving daughter before she turned on her heel and got into a taxi.

Goodbye, Renee.

Charlie and the kids remained by the headstone, each one of them in silent contemplation before I heard Charlie say that they should eat. Alice was reluctant to leave, but Charlie and Emmett managed to coax her along, and she followed sadly, leaving me alone in the cemetery with nothing but myself and my own memories.

Slowly, I approached the newly-filled grave.

It was weird, knowing that the girl I'd spoken to not a week ago was now buried six feet under the ground- she was younger than me, yet her life had been severely cut short.

I laid my hand down on the soft soil, pressing my hand into it.

I wanted to feel her… the _real _her.

But she was gone.

With a small, sad sigh I drew myself up and pressed a gentle kiss to the cold stone that marked her eternal resting place before I stood up and ignored that painful tug, returning to the rest of my family in the church.


	33. Epilogue

**Fade to Grey- Epilogue**

EPOV

I'd never felt anything akin to this in all my life. The feeling was surreal- it was absolutely overwhelming, and I had no idea what to think.

The little creature wiggled in my arms as I held onto her gently, her little wrinkled face scrunched up as she let out a wail. Her pink cap fit snugly over her small head and her skin was softer than silk. Her mother was lying in her hospital bed, worn out from the long, arduous labour she'd undergone, and I was left standing with the crying creature, gently soothing her as best I could.

She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

"Is your mom here yet?" asked the exhausted new mother in the bed, looking at me with her gentle blue eyes.

"Yeah." I admitted. "She's waiting."

"Go show them." she said cheerfully. "I'm sure they want to see…"

She smiled tiredly as I grinned in her direction, knowing full well that we had a full house in the waiting room. Mom and dad had come down as soon as I'd called to be of assistance when Jasper and Rosalie came with their swarm of kids.

Two months after the funeral, Alice and Jasper had gone away to Seattle to the University of Washington. Jasper had majored in history and had gotten a teaching licence, and Alice had gone in for an art and design program.

She ran her own interior design company.

After Alice had graduated with high honours, she and Jasper had moved in together and began to settle down. Jasper got a job at the high school in Forks and Alice opened her little design company over the internet to help with a steady income.

It came as no shock when Jasper asked Alice to marry him.

Her engagement had been a happy, cheerful affair, but the wedding had been bittersweet.

She and Bella used to dream of their wedding days as little kids, and it had hurt Alice to know that this was one of the things Bella had wanted to be around for. She'd wanted to see Alice get married, and Alice had made a valiant effort to keep her memory strong at the wedding.

Many of the photos at the reception of the bride and groom's childhood were of Bella and Alice together.

They'd gone to Paris on their honeymoon and we'd been informed three months later that the two were expecting a honeymoon baby.

Six months after we were told, Peter was born, a healthy, eight pound baby. He had Jasper's light curls and Alice's shining eyes, and much to his parents' dismay, he'd inherited his personality straight from his uncle Emmett.

Poor kid.

The pair of them had a total of three kids: nine year old Peter Charles, seven year old Jamie Cullen and one year old Charlotte Isabella Hale. Jamie and Peter were great big brothers to their sister, even though they were holy terrors to each other. Jamie had inherited the messy Cullen family hair in Alice's dark brown shade, and little Charlie looked like a splitting image of her mother with the dark, straight hair and defined features.

Rosalie and Emmett, on the other hand, had taken a rather different route.

Emmett had managed to accumulate enough money for university the year after Alice had left, and he went on to take a physical education and health science course and like Jasper, he went for a teaching licence. He taught at the same school as Jasper as a gym teacher instead of history, and between Mr. Hale and Mr. Swan, the kids were shockingly well behaved.

Rosalie had earned her degree in mechanical engineering, but around the same time as Alice and Jasper's engagement, she'd discovered that she was pregnant.

Leave it to those two to make _that _mistake…

Emmett had been ecstatic over the whole thing, and when his little daughter- Emily Rosette- was born right before Alice and Jasper's wedding, she got to be the little flower girl.

It was cute, I had to admit.

They were married shortly after Alice's pregnancy announcement and had a nice honeymoon in Cancun together.

Rosalie opened her car shop and Emmett continued to teach, and shortly after Peter was born, they had another baby- a little boy named Jackson Carlisle.

Jack and Pete were the best of friends with only a few months in between their birthdays, and ten year old Emily had taken instantly to Alice's little Charlotte.

Emily looked a lot like her father but with the big brown eyes and the dark curls, she was the splitting image of her Auntie Bella, and I knew it still startled Emmett sometimes when he saw her from a certain angle. Jack had inherited the blonde hair like his mother and uncle, but he too had the dark brown eyes and playful features of his boisterous father.

With Jack and Pete together, there was often mischief…

Now, I was holding my own little baby in my arms, feeling the acute happiness that came along with fatherhood.

I was to care and love this little thing for the entirety of her existence- she would give me grief, she would get into trouble, she'd fail her math tests… she'd be _mine._

"What do you want to name her?" I asked gently, glancing over at my tired wife.

"I don't know." She said honestly, shrugging. "I can't think of a good one…"

"She needs a name." I laughed, watching in avid amazement as her big, blue baby eyes fell shut and she smacked her little rosebud lips. I carried the baby over and sat down on the chair beside the bed, letting my wife take her little hand.

It was tiny.

"I know you're thinking of one." She accused gently with a smile on her lips.

She knew me too well.

"I was thinking…" I hesitated, making her frown.

"Thinking of…" she prompted impatiently, looking excited.

"What about Isabella?"

She stared at me in shock for a moment before she smiled and looked down at our new baby.

"Isabella." She said, trying it out.

I grinned.

"It fits." She said with a smile.

"Bella." I said gently, making my wife smile.

_Beautiful._

"I like it." She said decidedly. "Now go show her off!" she ordered happily, making the baby jump as her voice echoed.

"Sorry baby." She whispered with a gentle smile, kissing the chubby little cheek before I held her close and moved towards the door, grinning like a madman.

I could hear the din of the waiting room before I even got near it.

"Peter!" cried Emily indignantly, making me grin. "Stop that!"

"Make me, princess!"

"Dad!"

"Em, come on over here…" said Emmett gently.

"No!"

"Ha ha!" cried Jamie vindictively, right as I heard the familiar crying start up.

"Jamie, give that back to your sister." Scolded Alice patiently.

"Mom!"

"Now." She said sternly, just as I appeared in the doorway with the little bundle, earning me a whole new uproar.

I was only glad that we were the only ones having a baby in Forks right now… we might have been kicked out otherwise.

"What is it? What is it?" asked Alice excitedly, standing up quickly. Even after three kids, she was as tiny as ever…

"A girl." I said fondly, earning me two squeals- one from Alice and one from Emily, who flew over.

"Oh, Uncle Edward, can I see?" she asked excitedly, bouncing under me.

"Sure, Emma." I said fondly, making her grin as I sat down and showed her the baby.

"Aw!" she cried happily. "What's her name?"

I smiled gently at Rosalie's little daughter, glancing up.

"Isabella." I said softly, making her smile. Alice beamed at me softly before she kissed my cheek and congratulated me.

"She's beautiful, Edward." Said mom softly, tears pooling in her eyes as she gently ran her finger down the baby's cheek. "She's perfect."

"Here." I offered, making mom smile as I handed little Bella up, letting her carry the bundle over to dad.

A horde of fascinated little feet followed behind her.

"Mommy, baby!" cried Charlotte excitedly, pointing enthusiastically at my little daughter as she trudged on her wobbly feet after my mother.

"Uncle Edward's baby." Said Alice happily, scooping her up quickly. "Your cousin."

"Cousin." Repeated Charlotte as Alice carried her over and allowed her to lay her soft little hand on the baby's cheek.

"Baby…" she repeated. Jasper smiled as Jamie rushed over to him as well, wanting a boost like his sister.

"Be gentle." Warned Jasper sternly.

"I know." Said Jamie proudly, glancing at his father with large, happy eyes.

"She's cute." Said Jasper with a smile, turning towards me.

Alice reached out for her, and I grinned as she snatched her away and brought her back over to me.

"How's mommy doing?" asked Alice sympathetically, grimacing.

"Great." I said honestly. "She's tired though…"

"I don't doubt it." She said gently, returning my daughter to me with a gentle sigh

"Bella would be proud." She whispered in my ear as she kissed my cheek again, patting the baby's head softly.

And just like that, as fast as _my _Bella had gone away, _this _Bella had come in her stead- the little baby standing in the memory of the young woman.

Watching the new generation in the waiting room made me realize that for every tragedy, there was always a bit of happiness that came afterwards, no matter how bitter the sting of sadness, and no matter how sweet the taste of joy.

As I gazed down softly into the sleepy little face in my arms I felt a familiar swell of love and pride, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

FIN


End file.
